Why the US?

[zips 0]

Would anyone want to share why they picked having their fiance come to the US rather than emigrating from the US to your fiance's country; especially those of you from England/UK with it's National Health and benefits system. My fiance has been asking himself this question and I don't have any good answers. I thought maybe someone who went through it and made the decision might have some good advice for him. Thanks!

[S&B 1]

For me, my fiance in the US was the one with the solid job (I'm fresh out of school), he lives in a low cost of living area, whereas it's very expensive where I am, he's much closer to his family than I am to mine and would suffer more being so far away from them, and he doesn't like our harsh Canadian winters =P I won't lie, I'm going to miss the health care here, especially as I have a condition that requires surgery every couple of years, but we've worked that out with his insurance. I am, however, looking forward to moving to the south, where it's warm! Were it not for that, and if we had known how annoying the US immigration was going to be, we may have more strongly considered having him move up here to Canada.

[Barbara J 115]

Would anyone want to share why they picked having their fiance come to the US rather than emigrating from the US to your fiance's country; especially those of you from England/UK with it's National Health and benefits system. My fiance has been asking himself this question and I don't have any good answers. I thought maybe someone who went through it and made the decision might have some good advice for him. Thanks!

I moved here to the US as my husband has a permanent job with the US military and it was not possible to get work back in Australia. There were no jobs available in OZ so it was easier for me to come here even though I had to leave my daughters behind but they are grown now and as for living here I love it and find it easy. I know we have better health care back in OZ too and we have medicare for everyone but I am fortunate that my hubbie is retired Military and we have benefits.

Edited January 25, 2011 by Barbara J

[Inky 1,110]

My husband is active duty US Military and it is his career choice. Plus Canadian medical is not as good as people say it is!

[TwoCats 55]

Would anyone want to share why they picked having their fiance come to the US rather than emigrating from the US to your fiance's country; especially those of you from England/UK with it's National Health and benefits system. My fiance has been asking himself this question and I don't have any good answers. I thought maybe someone who went through it and made the decision might have some good advice for him. Thanks!

For my SO, it really didn't matter to him where we lived. He sees the good/bad of both the UK and the US when it comes to things, and sometimes we go on and on for hours discussing things like heathcare and gunlaws and other things that are different between the two countries. He already has plans to go back a couple of times a year to see his family, as that's really the only thing he'll miss. That, and what he considers to be 'good' tea. Even when I buy him British tea, he complains that the milk isn't right here.

For me, it was mostly a financial stability thing. I have a good job that I've had now for almost eight years. It pays well, is stable, requires a minimal commute, has amazing retirement and health benefits and there is little chance of me being laid off or fired unless I do something grossly incompetent. In addition, I have a house I rent from my parents which is willed to me (so it will be mine in the future). He just started a job with a small company (which he may be able to continue to work remotely - fingers crossed!) and lives in a tiny apartment.

I'll admit that part of it is me being scared to move somewhere else. I've found that here in Chicago, people are pretty accepting of foreigners (at least those from European countries anyways). The couple of times I visited Scotland, I kept getting stared at by random people. I even had a bunch of guys call out 'AMERICAN!?' at me in the middle of a train car, as if they had never seen one before, which was just a little disconcerting.

If our roles had been switched, and he had the better job/home/prospects, I'd definitely have been much more willing to move to his country, my worries about social integration aside.

[Saylin 1,605]

I'm moving to the USA for most of the same reasons as Anysunrise. I don't have many ties here, only my dad, whereas my husband has his whole family living near him and he's very close to them. He also has an amazing $40k/year job, whereas I'm unemployed. It was pretty much a no-brainer as to who was moving where. I'll also miss the free health care, but I will be covered with my husband with his work's insurance. Unfortunately, he has even worse winters in South Dakota than where I'm currently living, so that's the only downside for me moving there.

[joevegas 67]

Good Question...Our reason was I moved from Canada to here because my fiancee had a job that paid about 15 grand more then mine..even though I had a great government job in Canada..I was renting and she had her own condo...But the most important thing was that she is extremely close to her family,much more then me,those were our reasons...Turned out she lost her job of 18 years,got a new one but makes nowhere near what she used to,though we're still doing ok..The health insurance here is a joke..we're paying over 3000 bucks a year with a 4000 dollar deductible....In hindsight it probably would of been better for us in Canada,just for the health insurance alone..But all in all,I love the good old US of A and am very happy here..and we can always move to Canada in the future.

[CQ & CS 2]

Same here. My husband has a solid job here in LA and is making way more than I did. On the other hand, other than my family, I do not have financial ties in Canada.

[matalie 1]

Our story just came down to the fact that he was more stubborn than I was about which country we would live in! He hates change but said if I really hated it in the States, we would move to Canada. But then added we'd never need to because he would go out of his way to make me love America! Very stubborn indeed!

[zips 0]

Thanks everyone and Twocats, we have those exact same discussions as well as different words and American spelling and pronunciation. He's mostly worried about loosing the NHS and we both know that neither here or the UK is perfect. I try to reassure him that we'll be able to get him health insurance. My company has great individual insurance but a family is $700 a month! . . . so he'll need his own policy. And Matalie, so do you love America?!

[Onyx & Inari 0]

He already has plans to go back a couple of times a year to see his family, as that's really the only thing he'll miss. That, and what he considers to be 'good' tea. Even when I buy him British tea, he complains that the milk isn't right here.

I agree with the tea! Your milk is super ultra mega treated, the stuff has an expiration date of a month plus, compared to the week fresh milk in Britain has.

Our reasons are simple, Inari is still finishing her second degree, she is very family orientated and they are a tight unit. Myself on the other hand is that I am not so close to my family, also for some reason the US fail to take notice of my Degree, therefore I have the change to go back to school to learn something new.

I feel more at home in the US than I do in the UK, even if I do stand out quite a bit!

But ultimately we love one another, therefore someone has to make the sacrifice, in this case it was I, my only fear is getting used to the new wildlife - Black Widows, Brown Recluse's, the Scorpions, the Diamondback, the various biting beetles and so on! lol

[Onyx & Inari 0]

Thanks everyone and Twocats, we have those exact same discussions as well as different words and American spelling and pronunciation. He's mostly worried about loosing the NHS and we both know that neither here or the UK is perfect. I try to reassure him that we'll be able to get him health insurance. My company has great individual insurance but a family is $700 a month! . . . so he'll need his own policy. And Matalie, so do you love America?!

Likewise, we had them conversations too, and the fact soon I have to re-learn what I had been taking for granted in the UK, I.E, the different brand names, different types of stores, where to get "this" and "that". Seems basic, but its a big change!

The change in health benefits will be the biggest thing, but the best thing is that any Children we have in the future will have a great life and upbringing - Not only do they get choices of going to the big Ivy League Universities, they also get the bonus of Cambridge, Oxford and Imperial College.

To get a American born child duel citizenship to the UK is easy, well compared to the other way around it is!

[Al422 221]

First, I have a HUGE family here in NY, whereas Elena has only a cousin and and aunt in Russia.

Second, the standard of living here is much higher.

Third, Elena speaks fluent English, whereas my Russian is worse than Tarzan's English.

Edited January 25, 2011 by Al422

[iampatricias 17]

DItto for me - I'm moving to the States because I'm not as close to my family as my fiance is to his. He just landed a killer job, and I've got strong education, but no solid job in ESL teaching, so I could probably find work anywhere. And I'm not particularly attached to Canada, though I am feeling more and more like I'll miss sooo many things once they'll be out of reach (my preferred brands... I am such a snob.) I guess, if it came down to it, I'd probably want to stay in Canada, but practically speaking, there's not much of a choice.

[zips 0]

Thanks again everyone . . . it sounds mostly like it comes down to money, family, and love. It's a big step for anyone to take and I'm sure we'll be fine in the long run!!