The hoping not to be denied at Casablanca thread

[KittyPollitt 284]

I guess my kid will be the only one out of the three of us not going straight to hell Thank goodness my fiancé isn't an ultra pious Muslim, because, despite my sincerest efforts to TRY TRY TRY to believe, I'm still a Buddhist heathen, and he accepts that for what it is.. For those who'd say OOOMG, he MUST be using you!! Nah.. While this may be a Muslim country, that CERTAINLY doesn't mean that people follow the book here.. Stay for a while, you'll see what I mean.. And I'd hope the "immersed" COs realize that too..

P.S. Ramadan is coming soon, I've actually seen some effort around here to dust off the prayer rugs, for the first time in nearly 5 months.. Kinda like they way my Grandma used to start putting out the nativity scene before X-Mas..

[Staashi 371]

I agree with you about the convert being the one to get their sins wiped away, I just meant that I have heard some people - IMHO incorrectly - believing that they will also get that "back to zero" benefit for helping someone else find the path to Islam. Not saying they're just, just saying someone who is religious might earnestly think they're getting a free pass.

Interesting ideas about the cultural norms. I wonder how much they care whether the American is Muslim, especially since so many recent American converts marry Moroccan men. Reading various forums on the internet, some people opine that Moroccans are less likely to desert Muslim women than Christian women, and others opine that guiding a woman to convert is just part of the shtick.

FWIW, my current draft of my Question 18 answer has a fair amount about my fiance and I being pious Muslims and wanting that for our future family. I'm considering raising it because it would show something in common, similar values and goals, not because it would make him look more moral and less likely to scam. And while my current draft has that in there, it's one of the parts I most debate cutting. If I were talking to a friend about "Things I love about my fiance" I'd definitely talk about the religious side of our relationship, but bringing it up to a consulate seems vaguely icky to me, like we're trying too hard to look like goody-two-shoes, so I might take it out.

I wouldn't go so far as to write that you're devout Muslims - maybe that you two are practicing Muslims and that it was significant to both of you to find someone who shared the same perspective about your faith.

[Always+Forever 7]

I guess my kid will be the only one out of the three of us not going straight to hell Thank goodness my fiancé isn't an ultra pious Muslim, because, despite my sincerest efforts to TRY TRY TRY to believe, I'm still a Buddhist heathen, and he accepts that for what it is.. For those who'd say OOOMG, he MUST be using you!! Nah.. While this may be a Muslim country, that CERTAINLY doesn't mean that people follow the book here.. Stay for a while, you'll see what I mean.. And I'd hope the "immersed" COs realize that too..

P.S. Ramadan is coming soon, I've actually seen some effort around here to dust off the prayer rugs, for the first time in nearly 5 months.. Kinda like they way my Grandma used to start putting out the nativity scene before X-Mas..

Yep...the "holiday" muslims immerge for Ramadan....just like the "holiday" christians immerge at Christmas & Easter And for those that say staying for 3mths or for however long period of time....there is no way that it is easy, as I am sure we have heard from nearly every person (including myself & sarah) about the major difficulties of it as u would think the COs would understand since they had to go through the same culture shocks & issues when they came to Morocco. Maybe they have been there too long to remember now. But I think if they consider you being there for a long period of time as being easy & that's why its fruad, then they should bring the USC in and interview them....if their whole visit in Morocco has been easy & stress free...then I would think fraud also....because its never easy in either country at first....you fight & argue about big & little things, which will be even worse when they get to the US, because if you think WE go through culture shock...LOL We are taking men who have never been out of their country & throwing them in to a world that is against most of their religious beliefs...lol Now THAT is a test of a relationship...LOL I still say bring on the lie detector test....would make everyones lives so much easier...lol That way there doesn't have to be any doubt

And msheesha, I was just giving a point of view....i'm completely open to hearing what the CO thinks...and I have no problem giving them whatever evidence that want...And as for thinking a certain way....I don't think any way anymore about this whole situation...i will just wait till they tell me what they want & i'll give it to them....LOL

Malika

[sachinky 464]

IMO, phone bills, photos and chat transcripts are good evidence when everything else seems 'normal' and in place.

If photos only show a large disparity in age and looks, and you look 'unnatural' in those pictures, it doesn't do you any good and only highlights a serious problem.

If the beneficiary is not well-versed in English and your chat-logs are a lot of and then again, it's only hurting your case by submitting four hundred pages of IM transcripts.

[Mithra 1,185]

Your difficulty and your daughter's difficulty staying in Morocco has no bearing on whether or not your fiance is or is not committing fraud (in the eyes of the CO). Sure it's hard on you, that's not your home. As far as dealing with a child, let's look at it this way, how much would you put up with to ultimately make your whole life and future better? Personally, I'd put up with a kid or two or three for a few months in order to have a better life and better opportunities. This could very well be what the CO is thinking. If I were you, I'd stop analyzing this to death and do what the CO suggested, get married and file a CR-1.

[sachinky 464]

And you'd be surprised at how much '#######' somebody who is desperate enough would be willing to go through.

Have you ever read about the threads about men who are supposedly being 'abused' but want to know if they'll receive 10 year GC if they just 'stick it out?'

[KittyPollitt 284]

IMO, phone bills, photos and chat transcripts are good evidence when everything else seems 'normal' and in place.

If photos only show a large disparity in age and looks, and you look 'unnatural' in those pictures, it doesn't do you any good and only highlights a serious problem.

If the beneficiary is not well-versed in English and your chat-logs are a lot of and then again, it's only hurting your case by submitting four hundred pages of IM transcripts.

:yes:

[KittyPollitt 284]

And you'd be surprised at how much '#######' somebody who is desperate enough would be willing to go through.

Have you ever read about the threads about men who are supposedly being 'abused' but want to know if they'll receive 10 year GC if they just 'stick it out?'

OMG I know a guy like that! He tells me he's afraid to go to sleep because he worries she'll kill him, but still wants to stay and get conditions removed.. I think you commented on a post I made about him, sachi!

[Always+Forever 7]

Your difficulty and your daughter's difficulty staying in Morocco has no bearing on whether or not your fiance is or is not committing fraud (in the eyes of the CO). Sure it's hard on you, that's not your home. As far as dealing with a child, let's look at it this way, how much would you put up with to ultimately make your whole life and future better? Personally, I'd put up with a kid or two or three for a few months in order to have a better life and better opportunities. This could very well be what the CO is thinking. If I were you, I'd stop analyzing this to death and do what the CO suggested, get married and file a CR-1.

Wow...u have me pegged...NOT really...I'm not analyzing it at all....I'm just stating different situations that ppl can hopefully learn from....And tolerating a child & actually having a relationship with one are very different things I'm not concerned at all about what will happen with us & our visa process...I know what we have to do...i'm just throwing different ideas and points of views out there so others may learn from previous mistakes....as it looks like many did from our mistake of taking too much evidence....glad i could help everyone....lol

Malika

[Crossed_fingers 128]

I wouldn't go so far as to write that you're devout Muslims - maybe that you two are practicing Muslims and that it was significant to both of you to find someone who shared the same perspective about your faith.

Good idea, thanks!

[Staashi 371]

Yeah? So then what would it take to prove it to you....if you were a CO? Sounds like you'd be denying everyone too.

Random thoughts but here it goes...

1. It would take the man having knowledge and sincerity of his spouse, which can come through in many ways. Like a question: What do you love about your spouse? I would make sure he gave me an answer that seems to come from the heart - which is something we can all tell in people. When you talk about your loved one you speak with passion.

2. I would want to know that if he didn't speak English, what language does he converse with his spouse/fiance in? Me, my fiance/husband spoke English already, but most of our conversations were in Spanish, which I speak fluently.

3. When I look at the pictures am I feeling convinced by the way the two look. If it is a May/December romance, how much are we talking about here - 5 maybe 10 years, ok - 25-30-40 years (and yes, it totally happens)...no.

4. When I ask questions is he paranoid about answering them or is he conversational.

5. Is he sweating bullets as if his life depended on him getting this visa.

6. Is his wife morbidly obese and he's as thin as a rail...if so, did they meet on a BWW website because he likes women of size? If not, how did these two come together? MSN Chat, Yahoo, Facebook, etc, etc.

7. What is his job? Does he even have one? How would he support his wife? What does his wife do for a living? Does it concern him that she makes more money? Does his family rely on him for financial support? Will he be sending money home? How much do they need each month to make ends meet?

I wouldn't be out to deny everyone. What I'm saying though is that frontloading an application can be done by every Tom, ####### and Harry or I guess in this case, Abdul, Farid, and Mohammed. In my eyes, every one of them is a potential scammer and the burden is on them to prove to me that they are not. Just sayin'.

[KittyPollitt 284]

Random thoughts but here it goes...

1. It would take the man having knowledge and sincerity of his spouse, which can come through in many ways. Like a question: What do you love about your spouse? I would make sure he gave me an answer that seems to come from the heart - which is something we can all tell in people. When you talk about your loved one you speak with passion.

I agree with your points, but I've always found this question to be a sticky one.. We're talking about MEN here... Ask them about Germany kicking Argentina's butt and you'll get passion for sure.. But ask even the average American Joe what he loves about his wife, and you're likely to get a: "Uhh... she makes good pizza fries" Not every dude is a Casanova

[Crossed_fingers 128]

How about other red flags besides the obvious, looks disparity, age difference, language barrier. I think Monica's questions about whether it matters to the consulate if the couple shares the same religious beliefs is a good one.

I also wonder about how the beneficiary's economic situation impacts the analysis. I think it's helpful if the beneficiary is not desperately poor and ready to do anything to get out of a hard situation, and it might show a tiny bit more in common with an American. On the other hand, the more well-off beneficiary probably has better access to the internet and English lessons and there seems to be a huge problem in Morocco with the more educated citizens trying to leave in droves.

Or another one, how much do you think the consulate cares if the USC has a previous spouse or children? That's one that seems to go against the cultural norms, but it also seems like a ton of couples are in that situation but got approved anyway.

Just trying to kick around ideas beyond "he looks like Brad Pitt and she looks like Nick Nolte."

[KittyPollitt 284]

Just trying to kick around ideas beyond "he looks like Brad Pitt and she looks like Nick Nolte."

:rofl: :rofl:

[Nothing1234 2]

Sorry I'm buttin' in but I'm still rolling laughing at: "he looks like Brad Pitt and she looks like Nick Nolte."