Time for Some Happy Endings

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Thanks for the advice and congratulations on your 4 years. I've talked to my fiancee about how we might be able to keep her social connections and Filipino culture going. She's very shy, and isn't that social, a lot like me. She says she doesn't need Filipino friends, just me. But I know that is just wishful thinking. I do know a few Filipino's from work, and hope to find some from VJ or other social networks if needed. I will certainly maintain open communication with her and do my best to help her adjust however needed. I will also try my best to understand her cultural differences and embrace them whenever possible. I hope 4 years from now, I will be posting about us still being together as well. Thanks.

-James

Thanks. Yeah, I think you're being realistic when you say that is wishful thinking. You both need outside, social contact, IMO, to keep the relationship thriving. If you can find an Asian market in your area, that's a good start, or even one is a few hours away, make an occasional trip over to it so she can stock up on the food items she's used to.

[Psoas10 17]

I've seen so many posts about problems after a loved one comes to america and things don't go so well. Now I want to read about some happy endings, happily ever after. I want to read happy stories of how well things have worked out since you've been together. I want to imagine what it will be like when my fiancee gets here. I don't want to think about the horror stories and worry about those things that could happen. I know it will be better than that for us. We really love each other so much. I can't wait for us to be together. I will do anything to make out time together last forever and be the happiest days of our lives. Tell me your story if this is how it is for you. Tell me the things you like about your USC or filipino spouse. Tell me things we can look forward to when my fiancee finally makes it here. Tell me why you love each other to this day, and why you know you'll be together happily ever after. Thanks.

-James

Well I noticed that your local office is in Portland OR. Well it took me sometime to adjust to Oregon when I went to college, since I am from Hawaii. If you live near the big cities in the valley, then no problem to find Asian food and markets. Also if she could come in the summer, when it is not raining and cold it could help, but the sooner she comes the better. Me and my wife will make 3 years in Hawaii now, so it is good. She had family and friends here already when she came, and kept finding more and more people from here hometown till this day. The main thing is to be there for her and try to help her out.

[James and Cynthia 70]

Re the accent, basically I had to slow myself down and kinda talk a little more American. I remember one of Tony's friends called me once and I had no idea what he was saying, I'm pretty good with accents too so that was funny Just let her know it's not because she's "wrong", she's just different and that's not wrong. In Australia it happens too. Some people just hear an accent and their brain switches off, so let her know just to slow down a bit and just smile a lot even though she might get frustrated when people don't understand and start to get rude. I will admit though that I WOULD get frustrated and at one stage had to hand the phone to my father-in-law because the elderly woman on the phone didn't understand my accent when booking a hotel for my sisters visit... he had trouble too though and when I met her in person she had no trouble, she said she has problems with the phone.

My fiancee is very shy about talking english around americans because she's afraid people might think she's dumb. It took me a really long time to understand her well. I think the first week we met, we didn't really understand each other at all. We would just smile at each other as a sign for "I don't understand, but you don't have to repeat it a 4th time."

I love her accent. It is so cute when she says things with the F's and P's completely backwards, or when I try to get her to say the P sound by itself and she just can't do it without trying 10 times. She's still learning that in american we "take a sh*t", not "make a sh*t", even though what she says makes more sense.

-James

Edited January 19, 2011 by James and Cynthia

[VanessaTony 3,567]

My fiancee is very shy about talking english around americans because she's afraid people might think she's dumb. It took me a really long time to understand her well. I think the first week we met, we didn't really understand each other at all. We would just smile at each other as a sign for "I don't understand, but you don't have to repeat it a 4th time."

I love her accent. It is so cute when she says things with the F's and P's completely backwards, or when I try to get her to say the P sound by itself and she just can't do it without trying 10 times. She's still learning that in american we "take a sh*t", not "make a sh*t", even though what she says makes more sense.

Why on earth are you talking about s*it?? lol. Ahhh idioms.. yeah.. that's gotten me into trouble a few times.. one of the hardest parts about english is its so easy to "make stuff up".

I still remember the first time in high school someone told me I gave her a "greasy". I had NO idea that that mean "dirty look"... why is it "greasy"? That doesn't make sense but you know, I say it now too She will get better once she's here and can watch more American shows with you to "translate".

[James and Cynthia 70]

Well I noticed that your local office is in Portland OR. Well it took me sometime to adjust to Oregon when I went to college, since I am from Hawaii. If you live near the big cities in the valley, then no problem to find Asian food and markets. Also if she could come in the summer, when it is not raining and cold it could help, but the sooner she comes the better. Me and my wife will make 3 years in Hawaii now, so it is good. She had family and friends here already when she came, and kept finding more and more people from here hometown till this day. The main thing is to be there for her and try to help her out.

I'm hoping she'll be here in April or early May, just in the middle of Spring. It will still be cold here, compared to what she's used to, so the first thing we'll do is get some good clothes for her and her daughter. But this is good. That way we can go up to Mt. Hood to see the snow before it all melts. I can't wait to have our first snow ball fight together.

We will certainly be looking for good Asian markets for her. I hope she'll like the saturday market in Portland as well. I think I will try to adjust to her food just as much as she adjusts to mine.

Thanks for the response.

-James

[James and Cynthia 70]

Why on earth are you talking about s*it?? lol. Ahhh idioms.. yeah.. that's gotten me into trouble a few times.. one of the hardest parts about english is its so easy to "make stuff up".

I still remember the first time in high school someone told me I gave her a "greasy". I had NO idea that that mean "dirty look"... why is it "greasy"? That doesn't make sense but you know, I say it now too She will get better once she's here and can watch more American shows with you to "translate".

The first time I was in the Philippines, I was training some engineers on a noisy production floor. One of them told me he would be right back because he had to go to the comdfort room. I said, "Oh. Okay. What are you going to do there?" He gave me the strangest look before I realized he didn't say conference room. I'd never heard of a comfort room before.

[James and Cynthia 70]

Thanks. Yeah, I think you're being realistic when you say that is wishful thinking. You both need outside, social contact, IMO, to keep the relationship thriving. If you can find an Asian market in your area, that's a good start, or even one is a few hours away, make an occasional trip over to it so she can stock up on the food items she's used to.

Thanks. I will certainly do that for her. I think I should be able to find one within 30 or 40 minutes from here.

[adiiann 163]

After almost 3 years of dating (that's how Americans call a serious relationship here), we've got engaged and it took more than a year before we got married. This coming month of August is our 2nd anniversary.

We've been to ups and downs as most of the newly weds experienced because of adjustment stage. For first few months being married, not so much fights or arguments over small things, and then coming up to 6 months of being married, we started to have a huge fights. But the fights weren't so serious, usually it had something to do with cultural clash and different way of logical thinking, but never last more than a day. And then,coming up to our first year anniversary, we've got to know more each other and fights or arguments were getting less.

Life is so tough. Right now, because of relocation, we're facing some difficulties, but nothing that we both can't handle together.

Every day is always an interesting day for us. Time fly so fast and we're coming up to our 2nd anniversary. I can still recall perfectly our wedding ceremony as if it happened last month.

I guess for me..... every time me and my husband surpassed obstacles not only in our married life but also in our individual life..... its always HAPPY ENDING because we did it together with holding hands.

[rlogan 2,036]

Things could not be going better.

She's lifted the restraining order and I got to see our child once this week (supervised) without her boyfriend there. Kidding! We're about to have our second child.

[Messybrownhair 251]

Hi there,

I am Steph, I am a quarter filipino (the rest swedish and spanish) but I was born and raised in the Philippines. I am just an average Mestiza Manila girl, went to a private catholic girls school, then went to UP for college. After that I received a scholarship to learn Mandarin in Fudan University in Shanghai, and left around Feb 2009. It was there while I was having my China adventure that I caught the attention of my cute American classmate. He sat beside me, and we became great friends. We had lunch together everyday, and did homework together. Finally, when we both couldn't deny it anymore, we admitted our feelings for each other. But we knew it couldn't work, for he was going back to the US, and we were too young to get married! So we tried the long-distance thing and just couldn't take it!!! After two months of being apart, he flew back to propose to me. I then went to the US to attend his Military commissioning and graduation from Military School, and we consulted a lawyer who told us that we could do the k1 ourselves. So we did, and lo and behold here I am about to go to the US and begin a new stage of my life!!!!

The US is not unfamiliar territory for me, this will be my 11th trip to the US, although my first as an immigrant.

I am now ready to begin my AOS journey!

By the way, please view our wedding website! You can view it here!

Wishing everyone luck!!!! <3

Love,

Steph

[marriedtomrg 141]

Married two years first week of January I thank the Man Upstairs that we are together every day. Our latest addition, Baby Poppy, will be 3 months old very soon. How time flies! It seemed like forever before we were going to be reunited...now we are all home, together, AOS is done. Don't have to think about immigration and citizenship for a while and get to enjoy our family and our home for a change! lol Looking at schools and part-time jobs (we may have to move to a different city because my husband's current job is driving him nuts, and I can't find a job), and taking care of the baby.

Life isn't perfect, but I cannot imagine spending the good times and the bad times with anyone BUT my husband!

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

Life isn't perfect, but I cannot imagine spending the good times and the bad times with anyone BUT my husband!

I often times tell Anna, "You're not perfect but you are perfect for me!"

[marriedtomrg 141]

Can I hear an amen? lol

I often times tell Anna, "You're not perfect but you are perfect for me!"

[marjus's girl 6]

Please share your happy endings...any are appreciated...I keep reading horror stories about fraud and marriages ending in 6 months.. ...I know there are success stories too..

[DarlingNikki 7]

I must stay away from that forum. That's sad.