Help me!!! i was public charge and my husband US citizen is going to jail

[Herolmounia 0]

hi everyone, i m sorry but it is long story!

my love story turned to a disaster!! my husband and i had problems but i thought it is normal, we still not used to each others manners and way of living, i tried to work things out, i am very patient person, i gave him alot of time, but he is argueing about anything! and finally he started saying he did a mistake and so on,

whatever, i just kept my mouth shut! cause i was pregnant, he never went with me to the hospital to check my health or the foetus's. i didnt have support through out my pregnancy i was alone, my husband started abuse drugs right after he knew i was pregnant, instead of being happy and having hope maybe things will change with the gift god gives us the baby! he started sleeping in the living room (actually not sleeping) watching Tv and news online, every 30 minutes i get up tell him you have to go to sleep you are working tomorrow, he says in 20 min, he never come to sleep i found him on porn website, on marriage websites, and new msn account and yahoo account, i m pretty good with the computer i found those files and pictures of women he talks to! but i didnt say anything, his phone doesnt stop ringing! text messages, and when i asked him who was it he said my friend at work he is watching football and we talkin about it, i beleived him at first until he made a password on his phone and he goes to the bathroom for 2 hours taking either the phone or computer!then i got pissed i took my cloths and i was gonna go home he stoped me and his family, anyway! he still denying like i m stupid! he started lying to me he works only 10 hours and he told me 13 hours, i found out from his paystubbs and i decoded his cellphone passwords and i found a woman that he meets in near by hotel having sex and doing drugs!

when i fight with him he calms me down but the next day he goes out for the whole week, he didnt go to work and he didnt come home!i call his phone day and night and he doesnt answer! the longest period he stayed 2 weeks, i was pregnant and nobody to ask to get me food! i was crying day and night! but i had hope he is going to change cuz he started methadone clinic, but that didnt work at all!!!! after he started to observe my big tommy! he started to be nice to me , he doesnt go out alot,i had hope again! my husband lost his job because he got injured at work in feb 2010, because of drug abuse we lost every penny we were saving! we didnt have food, we got evicted because we didnt pay rent! i gave birth at that time and DCF got involved because of his addiction, they told me either he goes somewhere and i stay with the baby or i go somewhere with the baby and my husband stays home!i said i will go to his mother until he goes to the rehab, because before my son was born, my husband didnt have insurance to go! so i stayed 1 month and half with his mother!she did her best but afterall she was not treating me good!anyway, after one hour when he came back, his mother told him get out and take your family with you, or go both of you work and i stay with the baby, her intention is just to take my son from us!anyway,he was great he gained weight , he became the person i met online again!we got help from dss food stamps and we stayed in a motel , type of shelter thing financed by federal budget. we stayed there for about 3 months, what ididnt mention is that my husband had an accident with his car, so we walk all time, and guess what he started to meed those people who sells drugs and stuff! he told me that and i asked him lets move from the city!we were unable because he are homeless and no car! one day he told me he is going to get food from church, he stayed the whole day, and he called me at about 8 o clock saying he is coming , he almost lost us!! he got arrested! he had a back bag and he saw better one in a store and he exchange it thinking nobody can see him!!! stupid(at least GOD and angels see him). they released him with no bond....what happen next is unbeleivable... all the food stamps and money we received from the state is gone only on drugs because he relapsed the next day. i starve alot but i m very patient i drink just water and sometimes just bread with suger water! i didnt do anything because after he spend the money on drugs he comes and swears to me he will never gonna do it again! and he feels like kelling himself! i dont have anybody to help me only GOD!!i pray to him day and night! he got unemployemnt we came to an appartment which he doesnt pay full rent price at once like morron! i feel embarrassed from the landlord he is such nice guy!he never payed bills, everyweek the same! money in the garbage! my aunt in france sent me $200 to buy blender to make baby food and some cloths for the baby, because we dont have food he asked me to buy food with it and the next week he is going to replace it! it didnt happen! lies,after lies....he missed the court date he forgot!!!! and his probation is violated now he needs to turn him self in, but he doesnt have money to pay lawyer or bond! he says as always bla bla bla, i m going to save money for lawyer and bond, and rent for you guys for 3 or 4 months,before he turns himself in! but that will bever happen....i got enought of it!!! two days ago he got unemployment check, we need to pay rent and bills! he told me lets eat something in the mall, we orderd food and a guy who looked very old and very bad cloths came and tried to sit with us, i thought he is crazy!, my husband said give me 5 min, i m with my wife!!! then that person dropped the drugs on my husbands hands! i freeked out ! i cant control myself anymore i reached my breacking points! i followd that guys yelling at him in the mall, saying you take my money, my sons money! we r not working for you! he admits he sells mariwana! anyway, my husband run away he scared he is going to be caught! we finaly met at the parking lot,we went home screaming at each other, he didnt eat the whole day , he was just laying down, i felt guilty! i went to him and kissed his forehead saying sorry i think i over reacted! he didnt answer! this morning he said he is going to pay rent and buy milk and eggs! he took one hour i called him, where are you? he said he is on his way, he didnt come and i called him 1000 times his phone is off! and now its about 14 hours since he left!

he is definelty going to jail! it doesnt matter if he is out or in jail because he is not gonna pay rent, bills and lawyer fee.anyway!

i m currently looking for job and willing to accept anything that pays my rent.

my questions to you is :

his mother always threatens him taking the baby from us! is she able to?

my GC will expired on october 2011 and i need to remove conditions, am i eligible ? knowing that i was public charge!and my husband will be in jail anytime!i dont want to get deported because i have a baby who was born here and the decision to marry him was mine! it is a shame in my family if i get divorced and with a baby is worse! my socity doesnt have mercy, they will laugh at me!

i want to stay here and work and rely on myself and GOD!

PLEASE give me any ideas!

Thank you so much and GOD BLESS YOU.

Mounia.

[Atencio 43]

His mother could make a case with Children's Protective Services if you keep your child in what could be considered a harmful situation. It would be hard for her to do so though. Your best route is to be pro-active in protecting your child.

Are you planning to get a divorce?

Either way make sure you have collected all the evidence of living together, bills, bank accounts, affidavit's etc. If you do plan to get a divorce get a copy of his arrest for drugs. If you get a divorce you can apply for the removal at that time based on cruelty.

Edited January 13, 2011 by Atencio

[Herolmounia 0]

His mother could make a case with Children's Protective Services if you keep your child in what could be considered a harmful situation. It would be hard for her to do so though. Your best route is to be pro-active in protecting your child.

Are you planning to get a divorce?

Either way make sure you have collected all the evidence of living together, bills, bank accounts, affidavit's etc. If you do plan to get a divorce get a copy of his arrest for drugs. If you get a divorce you can apply for the removal at that time based on cruelty.

my husband doesnt do drugs at home , he stays out side when he does it! i never smocked, never drink never used drugs in my life! however,i dont have money and transportation and it is freezing cold and i have to go shopping and doctors appointment...and she always takes my son from my hands, i m afraid she is going to take him from me based on my financial situation!

my husband didnt get arrested for drugs , it was for stealing!

i m not sure yet if i m gonna file for divorce or not my main concern is to find a job and fix my status!

how i m going to show evidence of cruelty!

thank you so very much for the quick response! i really appreciate it!

blessings

mounia.

[RICARDO4EVA2 194]

This is a shame.. and man it sucks. I really hope that you will get relief where your situation is concerned.. I pray with you.

As for the baby being taken away if you're unable to provide for the child then that could give the grand mother grounds to "try" and gain custody of your baby. You can prevent this by going out and seeking employment to where you will not become dependent on anyone for support (including the government). It is possible to remove conditions seems you were married on 1/31/209 (so just at 2 years). You just have to prove that the marriage was entered into with good faith. I don't see you having much of an issue. I would not worry about being deported. I know what you are saying as I have people around me culture-wise and they are not forgiving... trust I know what you are saying .. thing is.. I know HOW to deal with those people. Dont allow people to allow you to feel shame. Remember in your time of stress (up/down/up) they were never there to help you.. so feeling shame should not be an option... just keep on moving through. As long as they dont pay the bills that you referenced above then they really dont matter... and they won't affect you..!

*** You have baby here now.. so hey focus on you and the baby who is help-less and allow those who want to be useless and step away from being responsible ...> let them go!!

best to you....!

[Nicole-N-Nattoy 24]

Hi,

I would try to meet someone online who would help you in the area. (just make sure you are safe) That is very sad, but you are in a sad situation. Meet a lonely gentleman or lady who won't use you or control you. Get a divorce. If you have your two year green card you can still adjust status as long as you can prove the marraige was entered in good faith.(drugs is a reason many marriages end.) Maybe write him a letter and get him to write you back about everything that's going on. How he let you become a public charge. (It is his responsibility to provide for you.) Go on facebook and myspace and make a profile and try to meet a nice friend who could help you. Try to ask neighbors if there is anything you can do, or even go to the landlord and ask him for advice. Maybe he can give you some work. I think God will take care of you in this situation one way or the other becuase you are the victim and seem to be a good person. I have family members who are on drugs and it has ruined their life and breaks the families heart. If there are any places of business around you go in and tell the owner your story, and ask for a job. We wouldn't get anywhere in this world if we didn't help each other. Take a taxi to a shelter or a place for abused women. They can help you. Unfortunalty the person who is supposed to be helping you can't help himself. I'm sure he loves you, but while he's on drugs he will only bring you down and use your money for drugs. Keep any proof you can of a real relationship, and of your situation. Your going to have to find someone you can depend on becuase you can't do it all on your own right now. You can do it! I don't see why his mom is being so mean to you when you are the mother of her grandson and her son has a drug problem. Hope this helped.

[SuperDuper! 230]

Wow, for some reason I thought this was Kathryn posting, don't know exactly why. Anybody else?....

[RICARDO4EVA2 194]

Wow, for some reason I thought this was Kathryn posting, don't know exactly why. Anybody else?....

Well because you're looking at the image/photo.. I have seen something (post) back a week ago and thought it was her. Bust seems many users are exploring what Vj has to offer and making it their own

[VanessaTony 3,567]

You can ROC but you will need to either:

1. Divorce him before the date and prove that you married in good faith, or

2. stay married both you AND your husband will need to attend the interview to show you are together and happy

You will need evidence of your relationship like affidavits from friends, joint bank accounts, etc etc. Where are you living? I'm not even sure you're able to file if you don't have an address... Where are you going to file from? His mothers house?

Can your mother-in-law try and take the child? Yes she can. If she can prove that you are unable to look after and provide for the child she can get custody. You'll be allowed visitation but if you're living on the streets, barely able to afford food, then yes she can. You'll need to show that you're providing a good life for your child. Feeding the child, warmth or cold as required, baths, health care etc.

If you're having trouble with any of this, find a local womens shelter who can help you. You need to do what's best for your child. If that means living with your mother-in-law that's better than living on the streets. You don't need to stay there too long, just long enough to get child care, an apartment and a steady job to pay the bills.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Well because you're looking at the image/photo.. I have seen something (post) back a week ago and thought it was her. Bust seems many users are exploring what Vj has to offer and making it their own

but I don't believe it should be allowed that you can have the same avatar as a Mod I will report to see if this is the case.

Edited January 13, 2011 by Vanessa&Tony

[RICARDO4EVA2 194]

but I don't believe it should be allowed that you can have the same avatar as a Mod I will report to see if this is the case.

lol why not Vanessa..?

[dolphin1 5]

I am sorry for your situation, i pray for you sister. Gather any documents that show you are a couple and living or lived together, such as bills, tax returns... and you will be able to file in your own. Document whatever your husband is doing. He wont change so dont try with him. Try to locate a mosque or an islamic center and go talk with the imam or the office manager there, at least to find somewhere to stay till you get a job. By the way, you have a child from him, so that will help when you will file for ROC too. Allah ydir lik chi 7el inchallah.

but I don't believe it should be allowed that you can have the same avatar as a Mod I will report to see if this is the case.

Why not, it's a free country ( i think) , if it's a personal picture, that's wrong. But it's just an avatar that millions of people are using.

[JeroenAndMichelle 28]

Can your mother-in-law try and take the child? Yes she can. If she can prove that you are unable to look after and provide for the child she can get custody.

That is actually highly unlikely. CPS might do an investigation and, if anything, the child will most likely be placed in a foster home.. placing it with an the mother-in-law, an aunt or any other family is unlikely, especially because of her own son's situation...

[JeroenAndMichelle 28]

but I don't believe it should be allowed that you can have the same avatar as a Mod I will report to see if this is the case.

lol I think you're wrong there.. it is a freely available avatar, spread amongst many fora and websites. If she didn't get it here, she might as well get the same one from a different website, I don't see why it should be forbidden. Sure, it might cause some misunderstanding, but in that case the moderators themselves should get personalized avatars, that are not available to us.

[Nich-Nick 3,354]

but I don't believe it should be allowed that you can have the same avatar as a Mod I will report to see if this is the case.

She's had that avatar for almost 3 years. I remember her from 2008 when she posted frequently. She didn't suddenly start to impersonate somebody else.

[cristina.c 2]

That's a sad story :(find a job,take care of your baby,and im sure God will help you with the GC and with everything.I'll pray for you!