After the wedding... What do we call you, Mrs____?

[Captain Oates 911]

In our case, (my fiancee is from Jamaica) she says she want my last name. But I don't think it really matters. It is just a name, I think it makes it easier to have the same last name, but besides convenience it should not matter.

We love each other, not each others name.

That being said, If she doesn't change her last name to mine, we're not getting married.(just kidding)

Quite right - as long as she doesn't get her name on my bank account I dont care what her name is.

They change you know...

They do...

They all do..........

[M&S forever 4]

Let's say, you are a professional woman who is well-established and newly married. Would you change your surname to his?

Or, you're a newly married man and your wife is established in her profession. What would your input be?

I've been thinking about all the formalities from a marriage aspect and a professional aspect. For fun, I even spoke to a couple lawyer girlfriends (one is immigration law, the other is family law).

I had questions like:

• Would the Visa CO understand at interview why I have chosen to keep my maiden name?
• Would the Visa CO understand why I have 5 names total if I just added his to all of mine? LOL
• Would my husband (foreigner or not), understand why I am not using his last name professionally and only socially?
• Would the clients or patients know how to find me if I changed my name?
• What would it cost me at the bottom line in time and money?
• What would it cost our marriage, bottom line?

Here's what the attorney's offered up when I asked them what they would do:

1. I'm not 20 yrs old anymore.... I am who I am. BTW, You're not 20 yrs old anymore either. (Ha ha ha ha really?)
2. It's a cultural question. What do you want to do? (LOL of course put it back in my lap)
3. If you have assets, decide to take his name, you'll have to change all of the documents, unless you want to keep those all to yourself... then, leave them alone. They were yours before you married.
4. Tell you what, you stay married for ten years and I'll make all the changes on all your papers to his name!
5. Here, can I buy you a drink? You look confused.

I thought it would interesting to see what the VJ family would say (guys and gals of course!)

Hi Mari,

So it is interesting topic you start.When i will getting marriage I will change my last name on my hubby's one.I do not think if you change your last name you betray yourself I want people know that we are hubby and wife Some people take it like when they change their last names onto hubby's one they lose theirs freedom.

Good luck to all

[LotofPatience 65]

Mari, Thanks for the invite here!

My opinion (I am the husband) - It doesn't matter whether my wife uses maiden name or married name, as long as she loves me.

Wife's opinion (she's with me!) - She likes to change her maiden name to married. The reason she tells me - she loves me and part of me, so she wants to be known under my name.

So, it is a conflict between love and name for us at this point of time Whenever the love intensity is high, I call her in different names (nick names) and she is known under that names among our close relatives (wow, so many names, confused!) Money is not an issue for us to change the name, but I told her if she wishes to change her name, do it at Naturalization time in order to simplify the process. It is free as well, so should I say money plays role here, or not? For us, not!

Footenote: The name change is purely a personal choice.

Loto

[DiZZyLoX 114]

Another reason I'm not so attached to my our names is that 1) my dad found out at 38 that he had a biological father (oops) and 2) my fiance is adopted. We both have surnames that "should have been" but we don't have / use. So, for us, it's more about connecting us than anything else.

And plus his last name makes me sound like a doctor lol!!!!!

[Fandango 1,440]

I took my husband's name, and I also changed it professionally. I have used my name as a brand, as I am a realtor, and have advertised plenty with my old name. But, we are a family, we have a son, and I'm old school like that. I didn't hyphenate, because for me, I feel it's stupid. I was previously (briefly) married, and I hyphenated then, in retrospect, I did so as one last 'barrier' between me and my new 'family'...I didn't wanna become 'one of them' yanno? lol

As to my job, I figure my phone number is still the same, so any work i've done in my profession will not be for naught, as they can all still call me. And I've made a newsletter for all my past customers to let them know of the change.

I also am thinking about advertising the name change in an ad of some sort. I dunno yet.

[M & J 5]

Hi all!

I actually plan on taking my fiance's last name even though I'm fairly established professionally. Call me old-fashion I guess. Plus hyphenating my last name would actually be somewhat comical since my maiden name is Small and my married name will be Dainty. Can you imagine seeing something like that...Jamila Small-Dainty?

Great question Mari!

[Mariye & Ky 172]

Hi all!

I actually plan on taking my fiance's last name even though I'm fairly established professionally. Call me old-fashion I guess. Plus hyphenating my last name would actually be somewhat comical since my maiden name is Small and my married name will be Dainty. Can you imagine seeing something like that...Jamila Small-Dainty?

Great question Mari!

Thanks Twin Sissy! I gave you a +1 just because I love your maiden + married name = Jamila in love. LOL so cute that name I love it!!!

Love ya!