HELP!!!!!!!! What should I do?

[Aztec&Taino 144]

I had the same situation happen to me after 10 years of marriage but my ex-husband is a US Citizen. I came home and all his things were gone and he didn't leave a note. We had a 6 year old son together and he left on our sons birthday. He had also cleaned out our savings account.

I refused to take him back.

Huge !

[Nicole-N-Nattoy 24]

I had the same situation happen to me after 10 years of marriage but my ex-husband is a US Citizen. I came home and all his things were gone and he didn't leave a note. We had a 6 year old son together and he left on our sons birthday. He had also cleaned out our savings account.

I filed a missing persons report, talked to his family, tired to get information from his employer, etc. In talking to family members they finally admitted that he had retired from his job and left me for another women that he had met online and was in a different State. They even had his address but I didn't want it I just knew what State he was living in. I was lucky he retired from General Motors so I was able to go after him for child support. Because he had abandoned his wife and son the judge was very hard on him. I was given the same amount of child support as if he been working and I was also given alimony.

The hardest part of the whole thing was watching what it did to my son. It tore him up not seeing or hearing from his father.

It took about 3 months before he contacted me because things were not working out with the other woman and he wanted to come home. I refused to take him back.

I'm so sorry your husband has left you without leaving a note. It's a mean thing for him to do. Keep talking to his family members as they can be your best source of information. He will get in touch with his parents or brothers and sisters at some point.

Try to stay strong and put the health of your baby first. You will get through this. It's your decision if you want to report him to ICE.

Good for you for not taking him back!!! They always try and come back after they easily ripped ur heart in 2. Reminds be of a really good song..Randy Travis...I told you so

Edited January 9, 2011 by Nicole-N-Nattoy

[Boiler 46,147]

This seems like fraud to me. If his stuff and luggage is gone, then he must have planned it. If he gave you no clue and there were no problems, then he was hiding his intentions very well. If he has not used any accounts or cell phones, then it sounds like he knows how to disappear very well.

I am really sorry for you. But I can't think of any other explanation.

Can anyone give any possible explanation for this kind of thing happening other than it being fraud?

I would suggest looking through the phone records as others have said, but if he can't be found soon, report him to ICE and don't continue hurting yourself by looking. You're going to have to move on. I'm sorry to say that, but the sooner you start, the better you will be.

-James

The US legal assumes innocence unless proven guilty, not supposition.

All that we seem to know for certain is that he left. Anything else is conjecture.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

I don't know where to start, but it would be natural to assume that my husband used me and left me. Last week, we came back from our trip up north and on Monday at 11 am my husband calls in the morning to make sure I am ok as usual. Then when I get home in the evening he is gone with his stuff and luggage. No note or sign of letting anyone know. His family abroad does not know anything. I am also pregnant. This is someone who is constantly calling me and updating me. There has been no problems betweeen us as a matter of fact I have been supportive of him through everything. I filed a missing persons report and they are looking for him. But, keep in mind this is someone who is so concerned about me. No one suspected he could do something like that. We had a great time in SF! Its been about 6 days since he has been missing and no one knows. Is this immigration fraud did he really use me? The police told me to not assume anything. Was he just putting on a act all this time? I don't know what to think. Will they find him soon? That is fine if he wants to stay and I am prepared for that. But he could have called and left a note. How long should I wait before I assume that this is fraud? I just want some answers for this unusual behaviour. Can ICE do something and find him? He got his conditional green card for 2 years. What is all this? Even if he was unhappy its in his nature to confront his family or friends? He did lose his job a few weeks back, but he was confident he would find something. I supported him through everything. How long should I wait?

Few questions.

When did he get his conditional greencard? How long have you been married?

Now that he's gone some of his behaviour might now be obvious as red flags. For instance, you said he always called to "make sure I am ok as usual" and did that morning. That makes it appear to me that he might have been planning this for a while, or having an affair and making sure that you were still at work, or home, or wherever he's not so he wouldn't be discovered. Can you think of any other behaviour that you just ignored? Was he secretive with the computer? Did he insist on doing the laundry? Did he shower right before you got home, or right when he got home?

If I were you, I would be checking the computer history, or phone history, or card history to see if there's any indicators. I don't know if I would accuse him of fraud just yet unless you have any proof. I WOULD be removing him from your health insurance, car insurance, bank cards and anything else. If he used to be on the bank account I don't know if there's a way to flag the account so the bank knows he's definitely not supposed to be there anymore.

The main thing is for you to do what's best for you and the baby. He packed his bags so whether he used you for immigration benefit we don't know, you don't know.. yet.. but you do know that he's lied to you because otherwise why would JUST his stuff be gone? He might try and come back. You might want to consider speaking with a counsellor because you are going through something right now, and whatever the result when he eventually surfaces (which I believe he will) you will need the emotional support of family and friends, as well as someone else who's objective.

[korbet 1]

Lady,

Talk to the editor of your local Indian newspaper (you say he is from there). Give out his name, height and build only,and include his picture and report him as missing since when. Describe yourself as the wife, (don't indicate your pregnancy) and state your first name only, cell phone number and create a new g-mail address and have people leave you a message and call them back. Keep a written track record of all the calls - time and day. Do not come across as someone who is seeking pity, that comes naturally in this sort of instance, and do not villify him. Give out as little information about him as possible so that you don't help create sympathisers for him either. His immigration or economic status should be nobody's business. Mind you, he will probably be monitoring this forum too and having his own clique dig out as much information as possible about your moves. Keep them to God to handle and tell everybody that you just want to know what happened. He will be back on his knees and in tears sometime in the future asking for your prayers and forgiveness. Trust me, it happens every time.

Peace

[jrmejia 31]

asked your mobile phone service provider for info of last person he contacted..

[MalaysianGirl 26]

I don't know where to start, but it would be natural to assume that my husband used me and left me. Last week, we came back from our trip up north and on Monday at 11 am my husband calls in the morning to make sure I am ok as usual. Then when I get home in the evening he is gone with his stuff and luggage. No note or sign of letting anyone know. His family abroad does not know anything. I am also pregnant. This is someone who is constantly calling me and updating me. There has been no problems betweeen us as a matter of fact I have been supportive of him through everything. I filed a missing persons report and they are looking for him. But, keep in mind this is someone who is so concerned about me. No one suspected he could do something like that. We had a great time in SF! Its been about 6 days since he has been missing and no one knows. Is this immigration fraud did he really use me? The police told me to not assume anything. Was he just putting on a act all this time? I don't know what to think. Will they find him soon? That is fine if he wants to stay and I am prepared for that. But he could have called and left a note. How long should I wait before I assume that this is fraud? I just want some answers for this unusual behaviour. Can ICE do something and find him? He got his conditional green card for 2 years. What is all this? Even if he was unhappy its in his nature to confront his family or friends? He did lose his job a few weeks back, but he was confident he would find something. I supported him through everything. How long should I wait?

Firstly, I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this... but when I read your post the feeling I get is that he's not committing any type of fraud. You said he lost his job a few weeks back; maybe he's running away because he feels ashamed but will return some day? Asian men have this mentality of being the breadwinner of a family. You also said that it's in his nature to confront his family/friends, so if he's not doing that, shame may be what he's feeling now.

Other indications of this not being fraud are:

He didn't wipe out your joint bank account (please correct me if I'm wrong);

Things were great between the both of you (no abuse of anything, inferred from what you have said);

His family doesn't know anything;

He hasn't used his mobile phone; and

He doesn't drive.

I agree with the police - don't assume anything, at least not yet.

Whatever it is, I hope and pray that you will stay calm for your sake and your baby's sake. Hang in there.

[hurt123 0]

Ok, so my husband that went missing is somewhere in India. Called me a few days back, but was sleeping and got his message that he got married in India to the girl he was in love with and religiously divorced me in India according to the muslim laws in India. Did not tell me where he was or gave me a contact number. His family does not want anything to do with him and has even ran away from his own family and they don't know exactly where he is. What can I do to make sure he can never come to this country again? What are the procedures to get a divorce? We got married here because he came on a K-1. I have spent too much money on attorney fees prior to take care of all the immigration process. Please tell me what I can do, and what people can I talk to directly. Any help would be appreciated?

thanks!

[Barbara J 115]

Ok, so my husband that went missing is somewhere in India. Called me a few days back, but was sleeping and got his message that he got married in India to the girl he was in love with and religiously divorced me in India according to the muslim laws in India. Did not tell me where he was or gave me a contact number. His family does not want anything to do with him and has even ran away from his own family and they don't know exactly where he is. What can I do to make sure he can never come to this country again? What are the procedures to get a divorce? We got married here because he came on a K-1. I have spent too much money on attorney fees prior to take care of all the immigration process. Please tell me what I can do, and what people can I talk to directly. Any help would be appreciated?

thanks!

So sorry to hear this but you need a lawyer. At what stage was he up to before he took off. Had you applied for AOS? Did he receive his GC? If not then he will look like he has abandoned the application if he is not here for interview supposing you have one. If he got his GC then he can't be out of the country any longer than 12 months. so many things that will go against him but if he is married to Indian girl do you really think he will come back here again? You need to talk to professionals

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

You have not mentioned if his AOS was approved & a greencard issued.

File for divorce listing his where abouts as unknown and serving him notice via publication.

Record the voice message and type up a timeline of events to hand over to ICE, it will become part of his immigration record.

If he has already adjusted status (AOS approved) then this information may cause him problems if he tries to Remove Conditions.

If you have filed for AOS but not been approved yet, then contact USCIS and revoke your Affidavit of Support (though technically he abandoned the application by leaving the US unless he received Advance Parole).

If you haven't filed for AOS then there is nothing to do.

[hurt123 0]

You have not mentioned if his AOS was approved & a greencard issued.

File for divorce listing his where abouts as unknown and serving him notice via publication.

Record the voice message and type up a timeline of events to hand over to ICE, it will become part of his immigration record.

If he has already adjusted status (AOS approved) then this information may cause him problems if he tries to Remove Conditions.

If you have filed for AOS but not been approved yet, then contact USCIS and revoke your Affidavit of Support (though technically he abandoned the application by leaving the US unless he received Advance Parole).

If you haven't filed for AOS then there is nothing to do.

His two year conditional green card has been approved.

[Barbara J 115]

His two year conditional green card has been approved.

So if it has been approved have you received it yet? Need to tell us more information. If you have not received it then he cant get it as he is in India? right

[hurt123 0]

So if it has been approved have you received it yet? Need to tell us more information. If you have not received it then he cant get it as he is in India? right

He already has his conditional green card in his hands. Took that with him.

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

He already has his conditional green card in his hands. Took that with him.

Then divorce him, document what happened with ICE and move on with your life.

[Darnell 8,479]

ok - there was some embassy in India where his K-1 visa was approved -

write them, the IV unit - tell them that you two are divorced and that he is re-married.

also write USCIS in USA, tell them the same thing.

eventually, when he tries to return to USA, he'll be stopped at the border, not allowed in,

as his immigration status is based on marriage to you. They will gather his green card as well (if he has it on him) and send him out of USA.

since he abandoned the marriage, got divorced, and remarried, left the country -

his immigration status CAN end IF you do these things.

It's a bit different than 'most' occurences, as he's already outside of the USA, divorced from you and married to some one else - so YOU have some things to do, if you'd like to keep him OUT of the USA.

---

If you know the name of the mosque where the divorce was finalized, a copy of the divorce document resides there, and you can write to the Iman/Muallah there, ask for a copy to be sent to you (include some USD currency when you write him, as well) .

When you get this document, have it translated into English - then send off copies of both to the entities I mentioned above. Don't wait, though, to inform them of the current situation, though - send the divorce documents later.

Good Luck !

Edited January 21, 2011 by Darnell