Best, Worst, Most unexpected thing about FSU

[kharkovpoacher 4]

As for Atlanta traffic. I have to go in, around, or through the ATL about once a month. What a nightmare. I want to find the guy whose job it is to drive around and throw ladders and mattresses out on the interstate. That guy never takes a day off and he is very proficient at his job. Everyone in the ATL must be sleeping on the floor, because all mattresses are on interstates 85, 20, 75, 285, or Ga.400. It must be a social program to give the homeless(aka.urban outdoorsmen) a place to sleep. I am not sure what the reason for ladders is, but there must be a reason for that too.

[LvivLovers 39]

I rear-ended a young lady there once. Nothing like driving 110 and then coming to a complete stop because traffic from the exit ramp is backed up a 1/2 mile out onto the freeway.

Oh...you're really talking about cars?

[LvivLovers 39]

As for Atlanta traffic. I have to go in, around, or through the ATL about once a month. What a nightmare. I want to find the guy whose job it is to drive around and throw ladders and mattresses out on the interstate. That guy never takes a day off and he is very proficient at his job. Everyone in the ATL must be sleeping on the floor, because all mattresses are on interstates 85, 20, 75, 285, or Ga.400. It must be a social program to give the homeless(aka.urban outdoorsmen) a place to sleep. I am not sure what the reason for ladders is, but there must be a reason for that too.

Lol. I still haven't figured that one out either. There's always an endless supply of debris.

I used to see people with "Pray for me. I drive GA 400." bumperstickers! I'm not sure if that would be enough to be honest. You can count on at least 3 Oh $h!7!!! moments every time you get on that highway. The drivers are just that bad.

The recent snow/ice storm didn't help things much...apparently there were only like 8 snowplows for all of Atlanta (no joke!) There were about 30 wrecks within a mile of our house...people down here do NOT know how to handle snow and ice.

[slim 1,525]

I am not sure what the reason for ladders is, but there must be a reason for that too.

Ladders are so they can crawl through second story windows of the foreclosed houses they're squatting.

Oh...you're really talking about cars?

Unfortunately, yes. She was a smokin-hot little Asian chick and I had to report back for duty by 0700 so I couldn't stick around. Oh what could've been!

The recent snow/ice storm didn't help things much...apparently there were only like 8 snowplows for all of Atlanta (no joke!) There were about 30 wrecks within a mile of our house...people down here do NOT know how to handle snow and ice.

One of my peoples lives down there and she was saying folks were buying all the table salt because the "other salt" was gone.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

About the car and Veka's driving. She does not drive badly, but she drives like "babushka." That is a good thing. If it is a 45, she might crack the speedometer at 42. When she follows me on the interstate, I have to do less then the posted for her to stay in sight. When she arrived here, we got her a learners permit. I paid for her to have 6 hours with a professional driving instructor. I wanted to keep our marriage alive so I thought a professional would be better to teach her. I also let her drive my truck on some rural roads and to a from the beach. I figured if she could drive my Ram 2500 megacab diesel, she could operate the much smaller KIA. Also, I told her, anything you ever picked up in Ukraine about driving, forget it. Here in America the lines and signs do mean something, they are not suggestions. We drive much nicer here, not the combat driving in Ukraine. It did take us a while for her to finally get her license. The NC DMV would not issue her a license until she received either her EAD or green card. I fought them on this and gave them copies of marriage license, NOA1s for EAD and adjustment of status and explained to them the K1 process. It took a month and they finally issued a drivers license valid for 6 months, to be renewed with a green card.

I explained to the all knowing Veka about taking baby steps, etc. As you can guess that lasted about 2 weeks. I was out of town on business and the queen "had" to drive 25 minutes away to see her friend Inna. I get a phone call from Veka, she is all excited, she made it to Inna's house safely. #######, what happened to baby steps. I was a little perturbed, but not a lot. 30 minutes later Veka calls me to tell me they are going to Crabtree Mall in Raleigh. Whoaaaaa....... I told Veka to have Inna drive Inna's car. Crabtree is a huge mall and tons of traffic. I repeated that a few times then the line went dead. How convenient, but Veka was a smart women, she would listen. Yeah right. I'm at a restaurant eating dinner about 45 minutes later and my phone rings. It is Veka. "I break car." What, she explains to me that she was at the mall trying to park, and she traded paint with another vehicle. Uhoh. "Where are you now?" She was taking Inna back home. I was a little more then hot under the colar. Here I was 5 hours from home and she is not listening to me. I am not advocating this, but she panicked and got out of there. Anyway, her "malappropriation misadjustment of vehicular movement" was my fault for two reasons. First, I jinxed her by telling her not to go to the mall, it was too crowded and she would have an accident. Second, I did not teach her how to park. Silly me, it is my fault she hit a stationary object. She was the only thing moving. I got home a few days later. She had one little dent on the fender well and some paint scuffs. Am I fixing her car. NO. I'm leaving it as a reminder that her "villager" might be right on occasion. I have taken her to Wallyworld and had her park about 20 times. She used to complain about me parking my truck a long ways from the entrances to shopping places. My truck is 18 inches longer then a regular crew cab. I like to cover two spaces, front to back, because of length. Now Veka looks for about 6 open spaces and tries to fit into one of them. She has no problem walking a little longer now when she drives.

Go ahead guys, y'all can slam me. I did not advocate Veka driving off. I was a long ways from there and she panicked and had already left. What is done is done. I just hope that she learned her lesson. Once she starts working, she is paying to get her machina fixed. A little life lesson for her. She does look at her handiwork and cusses when she goes to her car. If you are ever around Raleigh watch out for the blonde babushka. LOL.

My smokinhotkova does now have a new plan since the "incident." Whenever she goes somewhere she calls me before leaving and upon arrival. She actually just called me while typing this, she made it to the gym. It gives her confidence and I tell her what roads to take at what time of day. In 2 hours she will call me before leaving for home to give her support. I think the driving might be the hardest part for us RUB guys.

Alla was impatient to drive. She started the 2nd day after she arrived and could barely stay on the pavement, seriously. She could not hit the driveway when she parked and I was happy if she hit out front yard and not the house. She WAS terrible. Seriously, we bought several mailboxes. It was a few days before we went off our island onto another, more populated island. She was afraid of pedestrians and bicycles, she said they should not walk or ride "near me"

But she gradually got better and we ventured off the island to the mainland and finally into the city. I was scared to death when she started driving herself to school and figured she would wreck out in the first 10 minutes but it never happened. She did have one woman hit her in a minor accident, completely not her fault. And she did do the "Dukes of Hazzard" car launch into the swamp, but other than that, uneventful. She got her drivers license before her green card, about 2 months after arriving. Vermont only requires you can remain for 180 days and accepts the AOS filing as such. We only had to show her passport and NOA1 from the AOS.

I recommend professional driving lessons. It was a stressful time to say the least. But she thought her husband should teach her to drive. I have had a much easier time to teach the boys to drive. Pasha drives really well, Sergey not so much, but not bad. Pasha gets a lot more practice and he will get his license in March when he turns 16. The boys coaught on better and they don't get so "pouty" when they get, um...corrected... for nearly killing us! If I raise my voice to Alla to she will stare at me and then.... Oh holy #######!

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

As for Atlanta traffic. I have to go in, around, or through the ATL about once a month. What a nightmare. I want to find the guy whose job it is to drive around and throw ladders and mattresses out on the interstate. That guy never takes a day off and he is very proficient at his job. Everyone in the ATL must be sleeping on the floor, because all mattresses are on interstates 85, 20, 75, 285, or Ga.400. It must be a social program to give the homeless(aka.urban outdoorsmen) a place to sleep. I am not sure what the reason for ladders is, but there must be a reason for that too.

Neal Boortz, who is from Atlanta, says it is illegal immigrants throwing out ladders that Americans won't throw on the highway

It is a southern thing to be sure. I never see those in northern cities.

[kharkovpoacher 4]

My best incident with a ladder was in Nashville, TN about 6 years ago. I was following a customer to another one of his quarries. He drives a big pickup like me, so hard to see around him. We had 4 or 5 lanes going in our direction. All of a sudden my customer swerved in front of me. There was an extension ladder laying at an angle in my lane. I had a tractor trailer to my right and a work van to my left. No where to go but jam on brake hard and wonder if my sphincter would ever be the same. I hit that ladder doing about 60, not much time to slow down. When it came out from under my truck it went about 4 feet in the air. A Dodge Ram behind me took it across his grill. I can still picture that in my rear view mirror. Sucked to be him. I can't believe I did not blow out any tires. I hit that ladder hard. My customer called me to see if I was okay, "Yes, but a little more warning that it was there sure would have been nice."

I average driving about 80,000 miles a year. I cover seven states. This reminds me. I need to go ahead and tell Veka, never swerve, just plow through what is there. Swerving will only collect other people or cause you to lose control. Tearing up a grill or blowing out a tire is not as bad a hitting a ditch and rolling a vehicle. How do I translate into Russki, hit brakes hard but not too hard, tighten sphincter, ride it out,look for clean drawers. I run over my fair share of live and formerly living animals, lumber, trash, furniture, and god knows what else. I have had a few blowouts over the years. Most of my deer hits have been not too bad, I've been able to slow down and luckily clip them, but I hit one big buck doing 75 dead center with a three week old truck. $8,000 worth of damage. It destroyed my entire front. That one sucked.

Slim, I've always heard you like hitting people in the #######.LOL.

I have been in TN all week on business. The smokinhotkova has been calling me about 8 times a day telling me she has arrived somewhere without breaking car and then asking me for address of the next place she has to go. She would be lost without her GPS. I have to look up on my phone the address of where she wants to go. One time this week, her GPS gave her bad info, I think, but I caught grief. It took her an extra 10 minutes to find a store. I can just imagine "babushka" stopped in traffic looking around and trying to read signs. It somehow became my fault that she did not drive right up to it.LOL.

I will share the smokinhotkova's first 4 wheeler adventure sometime this weekend. As usual, I caught grief for this one too. Once again, funny.

[LvivLovers 39]

Yikes! As if dodging ladders on the ground isn't tricky enough, you're kicking them up in the air!!!

I've had plenty of close calls on the highway. It's just like Slim was saying...cruising along at like 80 MPH and suddenly there's a parking lot in front of you. You slam your brakes just hard enough not to lose control, barely stopping in time. Then the real fun begins. You look up into your rear view mirror and watch the little 3" x 10" horror movie to see if all the morons behind you are going to stop in time.

What's up with people reading newspapers and what not while driving down the highway anyway? Am I the only one that sees that regularly?!

[james&olya 1,121]

Just back from Moscow. While there my future 2y/o step-daughter introduced me to some really good Russian cartoons, Маша и медвед (Masha and the Bear). I was surprised at the quality. I think they would be popular here also, especially with an English voice-over (hopefully with a good Russian accent!) For anybody with small children I would highly recommend them. I downloaded them onto my iPhone.

[Tnic 5]

Two warm sunny days in a row here in Simferopol. Time for an afternoon at the center market.

Click, click, click...

GAWD!!!!! I like it here!

[slim 1,525]

Just back from Moscow. While there my future 2y/o step-daughter introduced me to some really good Russian cartoons, Маша и медвед (Masha and the Bear). I was surprised at the quality. I think they would be popular here also, especially with an English voice-over (hopefully with a good Russian accent!) For anybody with small children I would highly recommend them. I downloaded them onto my iPhone.

I've seen several shows from English to Russian but not a single one from Russian to English.

One of our favorite things to watch is The Nanny. According to my wife, this was a Russian show before they brought it to America. I'm still trying to figure out which Nanny I like more.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I've seen several shows from English to Russian but not a single one from Russian to English.

One of our favorite things to watch is The Nanny. According to my wife, this was a Russian show before they brought it to America. I'm still trying to figure out which Nanny I like more.

Seedless watermelon was invented in the USSR, what is wrong with you, Slim? They had everything decades before we did, AND better shoes.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Just back from Moscow. While there my future 2y/o step-daughter introduced me to some really good Russian cartoons, Маша и медвед (Masha and the Bear). I was surprised at the quality. I think they would be popular here also, especially with an English voice-over (hopefully with a good Russian accent!) For anybody with small children I would highly recommend them. I downloaded them onto my iPhone.

Before Alla arrived I checked out TV here and you can get international packages from DirecTV (jump eeen eet!) that include Russian and Ukrainian channels. Alla said she preferred no TV and preferred to watch shows in English, at least for a while.

You are a lucky guy to be getting a daughter in the deal also. Children are definitely the best in life!

[ONA 133]

One of our favorite things to watch is The Nanny. According to my wife, this was a Russian show before they brought it to America. I'm still trying to figure out which Nanny I like more.

Vice versa. Americans created it, they just made an adaptation in Russia.

They had everything decades before we did, AND better shoes.

Russian shoes really are better

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Vice versa. Americans created it, they just made an adaptation in Russia.

Russian shoes really are better

I know. I have been informed of this.

Years ago we had a popular kids puppet show called "Kukla Fran and Ollie" I always thought "Kukla" was a strange name, turns out is is Russian for "doll". It was probably some cold war era communist plot to teach us Russian and put flouride in the water, and I am surprised they didn't yank the show off the air!