Divorce

[James and Cynthia 70]

Whether you call it a lie or not is a moral question. When you want to include praying, than at least be honest with yourself. I don't like the idea of somebody going after the poor woman. It's her daughter too and maybe she wants to leave her husband because he beats her up or cheats on her. I find it upsetting that only so few people seems to care about the mother. A divorce is what it is, a divorce. JJ61 put it right. You first try to talk and get it straight. When that doesn't work, you look what can be done, in a as human way as possible, following the law, like Bob said. I got a divorce too. I still call my ex and help her out where possible. This was hard work to establish but it worked out fine. Why should two people that fell in love at one time, hate each others guts so much that they want to destroy everything.

No one is against the mother here. The prayers were for father, mother, and daugher. Of course everyone wants things to work out well for both sides. Just because she's not happy and wants a divorce, doesn't make her a bad person. If the mother was abused, then she could report the abuse, and she would probably have all rights to the child. I think everyone would agree with something like that. But without abuse in the situation, the father has rights to keep his daughter with him, especially if that was the plan when they got married and had children. Anyone with children should always protect them if there is a chance they could be taken out of the country. Even if things go well in the divorce without hard feelings, but especially if things turn nasty.

-James

[leahandlucas 15]

You're kidding right? You tell the guy to lie to his wife and then you pray for them? You could have put it on the internet too.

I would follow Bob's advice. The child is American if it is born here. This is a very strong argument.

No...im not saying to "lie" at all in any way. I know that the kid is U.S. born..thats a given, but also just for him to be careful if they have an argument,because in reality...if the mum wants to take the kid out of the country...there are 2 factors...

first...theres no control of people "leaving" the U.S.

and second..if the mum knows, she just simply goes to the Colombian embassay,...takes out a Colombian passport...and thats it...they leave. YES, by law,...a U.S. citizen is meant to enter/leave with a U.S. passport...but in a case like this, and the people that work at the check-in's for travel don't always know that. So nothing more than just him being careful if they have an argument, she might not know she can actually do that.

But true...have him forward information to the department of state in regards to a passport for his daughter and signed affidavits.

And also...praying for someones situation/well being and giving advice are two different things...

[papajeff 0]

I think I need to clarify my dilema my daughter has passport for USA thats not the issue the questions are this If i get custody of my daughter and wife decides to stay in the USA am I responible for her(wife) finacially and what are the chances of getting custoday as wife has shown irrational and borderline dilusional persoalities.

[Wayne and Claudia 40]

It may be possible for her to get a passport for her daughter. It may not be legal, but it can be done. Even if it is kidnapping, getting the child back would be expensive and could take a long time. I would recommend filing a form to put a watch for any passport applications for your daughter.

Here is the link explaining what I'm talking about:

http://travel.state.gov/abduction/prevention/passportissuance/passportissuance_554.html

Here is a link to the PDF form:

http://www.state.gov/documents/organization/80112.pdf

Good luck.

-James

I agree. Several years ago I was married to a Filipina and she wanted a divorce and to go back to the Philippines with our son. My attorney advised me to immediately obtain my son's passport and my attorney filed the forms with the DOS to put a hold on any passport issuances for him. Just in case she had filed for a duplicate passport she (my attorney) notified the US Embassy in the Philippines and had what amounted to a "warrant" placed on my son. What that did was alert officials that the Embassy requests to see the person "BEFORE" being admitted to the Philippines. Good luck.

[Wayne and Claudia 40]

[ Obtain the child's passport if they have one is the very first step and secure it. Then apply for a hold on any new passports being issued. Take things slow and don't upset the situation but be firm that at least for the time being the child will remain in the US. Hopefully you two can work things out from that point. However, I would take the pre-emptive strike of at least making it very difficult for her to remove the child from the US. Good luck.

Edited February 2, 2011 by Wayne and Claudia

[Wayne and Claudia 40]

I think I need to clarify my dilema my daughter has passport for USA thats not the issue the questions are this If i get custody of my daughter and wife decides to stay in the USA am I responible for her(wife) finacially and what are the chances of getting custoday as wife has shown irrational and borderline dilusional persoalities.

Simple answer? Yes, you are responsible as well as any co-sponsor who may have signed an Affidavit of Support. There are ways to be excused from this support, such as her giving up her LPR and returning to Colombia, and there are plenty of links for you to read up on those. As to the custody issue, it's difficult. Judges and attorneys help decide that fate. Your best bet, if you are certain that the marriage is over, is to hire the best divorce attorney possible who specializes and has been successful in paternal custody. They are not cheap but worth it. I spent over 50k for mine but she won me full custody and my wife received nothing (property, alimony, etc). The time to contact the attorney is yesterday as they will won't you to do very specific things such as documenting things. It really breaks my heart that any marriage ends and hopefully some court-mandated marriage counselling will save you two and most importantly your child. Good luck.