STUDY FINDS WOMEN WHO DRINK WAY MORE FUN TO STUDY

[Mr. Big Dog 10,747]

STUDY FINDS WOMEN WHO DRINK WAY MORE FUN TO STUDY

Cambridge, Mass. – According to a new study on female alcohol use and blood pressure, young women who consume two or three alcoholic drinks a week are much more fun to do research on than women who do not consume alcohol.

The report also found that women who have a few drinks each week are less likely to develop high blood pressure. Whatever.

The report, published in the Archives of Internal Medicine, studied drinking patterns and blood pressure among 70,000 nurses between the ages of 25 and 42.

Dr. Eric Shinauer, who headed the study for Harvard’s School of Public Health, put the findings in perspective. “Alcohol, 70,000 nurses, and us,” he said. “Is that cool or what?”

Shinauer and his colleagues, Dr. Andrew Sporata and Dr. Chandra Palava, conceded their initial grant was to study salt consumption. However, upon reflection, the trio decided that adjusting the parameters would dramatically heighten their interest in the research.

Explained Palava: “What it came down to was, did we want to say, ‘Here young lady, have some salt and let’s see what happens,’ or, ‘Here young lady, have a drink and let’s see what happens.’”

“We’re scientists, but we’re not dead,” he added.

In fact, Shinauer theorized there would be much more interest in studying women’s health issues if alcohol were involved. Reaction to his study seems to bear this out, as already, several leading universities say they will attempt to verify the group’s findings.

At Stanford University, epidemiologist Bruce Cawthorn said his department is very interested in testing Shinauer’s conclusion that women who have more than 10 alcoholic drinks a week increase their risk of developing high blood pressure by 30 percent. But more importantly, he added, his staff is “totally stoked” by the concomitant finding that these same women were also, statistically speaking, a blast.

Shinauer, however, insisted their most valuable conclusion was that researchers could do variations on this type of study for years. “We could do how alcohol affects blood pressure among female flight attendants, or how alcohol affects blood pressure among female strippers. We are so golden.”

Palava, meanwhile, said he is working on “the Holy Grail” for this area of study — a report on how drinking among young women affects drinking among young women. “We just have to figure out some statistically significant reason for doing it,” he said.

Palava bristled, however, at the suggestion that researchers should also study the effect of alcohol on young men. “Jesus, we’re not gay,” he said.

[Jenn! 918]

[Obama 2012 1,714]

Wait, a study on what's more fun to study?????????

Which appropriations bill in congress allowed this stupid ####### to go through.... I bet they got a $2 million grant to run around and solicit drunk women..

[Jenn! 918]

How can someone so aware of human behaviors not be able to detect satire?

[Obama 2012 1,714]

How can someone so aware of human behaviors not be able to detect satire?

as sad as it may be, this would actually get approved for a legit study....

there are some dumb things that get government grants.

[Amby 490]

a lot of studies are funded by companies or private donors

[SuperDuper! 230]

Wait, a study on what's more fun to study?????????

Which appropriations bill in congress allowed this stupid ####### to go through.... I bet they got a $2 million grant to run around and solicit drunk women..

"Not that there is anything wrong with that..."

[Dan and Judy 614]

I've been studying women that drink for years. I found that women that drink 10-13 beers a night tend to pee in my bed

[The_Dude 1,142]

How can someone so aware of human behaviors not be able to detect satire?

lulz

[scandal 951]

I've been studying women that drink for years. I found that women that drink 10-13 beers a night tend to pee in my bed

Interesting. In my experience they tend to puke in my toilet. That's if they make it that far.....

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

as sad as it may be, this would actually get approved for a legit study....

there are some dumb things that get government grants.

If it were true it would be more effective and useful than most of the studies we DO pay for. I say go for it.