Bridal Shower??? English classes???

[eekee 182]

Re: a Bridal Shower... they're usually all-female affairs, with mom, sisters, best friends doing all the arrangements, etc. It may be strange to have a bridal shower with YOUR mom, sisters, female friends. Unless your fiancee already knows your mom and everything and feels comfortable with her, why not have a "Welcome Home" party, where you could also attend and help her feel more at ease and then you could still get the same sort of presents? I see your fiancee has met people by webcam, but Skype is not the same as dropping your fiancee at your mom's house.

Edited December 29, 2010 by eekee

[visaveteran 1]

My wife is taking ESL through the county continuing education office and it seems to be a pretty good system. It's not free although they give full scholarships for the first three classes you take if you don't have a job. After that the classes cost $235 per class which runs 3 months each. The classes are offered both during the day or evenings. The day classes run 5 days a week for 3 hours each day. The evening runs 4 evenings for 2 1/2 hours. I'd say the classes are on par with community college programs without the admissions hassles and maybe cheaper unless the college gives a full, ongoing scholarship. The classes are also geared to learning to deal with finding a job and other practical everyday life issues,

Like someone else in the thread, I married overseas so the bridal shower was never an issue. I always thought the shower concept was designed as a way to get gifts for a new young couple or a pregnant woman. I think the concept to have a "get to know her party" is quite different than a shower. I do wonder about the pressure on your wife to be having to meet a lot of people all at once. And is her English that good to cope with a lot of people slinging English around her at such a gathering?

In the case of both ESL and having a "shower," I'd suggest taking things a little slower to allow for a better adjustment period. Things could get a bit overwhelming. Take it one step at a time and don't over plan her future. Let things unfold naturally over time. Most men report some adjustment issues the first year which show up as depression, nostalgia, conflict, etc. for the wife. My wife went through it and I gave her some room during that period. Now she's adjusted and feeling good about her life.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Gary, I couldn't fully agree more with you. That was the best answer on this entire thread.

And for the guys re: American wives:

Just remember, from an AMERICAN WIFE and MOM.... YOU were born! Please respect that. I am sure your mother's would agree.

My mother was a "war bride". Assumptions are never good to make.

This entire thread was about a member getting information on education for his fiancee, so my answer to someone that hijacked the thread in an attempt to bash our wives, was not the best answer in this thread. Those which gave the OP information regarding education for his fiancee and answered his question about a bridal shower were the best.

We (RUB members) do not go to other forums and bash the members there or belittle their choices and frankly don't care why someone wants to marry someone from Canada or UK or Turkey or wherever. We all hope you are happy...as we are.

We are all old, fat, bald and rich guys* and have smoking hot young wives. Get over it. Does anyone really expect us to slap ourselves on the forehead and say "Damn, you mean I coulda' had an American wife?"

* (except I am not fat, Slim is not rich, Chris is not old or bald...how the hell did he get an FSU woman?... and Eekee is not a guy)

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

My mother was a "war bride". Assumptions are never good to make.

This entire thread was about a member getting information on education for his fiancee, so my answer to someone that hijacked the thread in an attempt to bash our wives, was not the best answer in this thread. Those which gave the OP information regarding education for his fiancee and answered his question about a bridal shower were the best.

We (RUB members) do not go to other forums and bash the members there or belittle their choices and frankly don't care why someone wants to marry someone from Canada or UK or Turkey or wherever. We all hope you are happy...as we are.

We are all old, fat, bald and rich guys* and have smoking hot young wives. Get over it. Does anyone really expect us to slap ourselves on the forehead and say "Damn, you mean I coulda' had an American wife?"

* (except I am not fat, Slim is not rich, Chris is not old or bald...how the hell did he get an FSU woman?... and Eekee is not a guy)

I want to be rich.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I want to be rich.

This is the RUB forum, you have to pretend you are rich even if you aren't, except for Slim. Slim has blown his cover so bad, no one would believe he was rich even if he won the lottery tonight.

They (other women) presume that you MUST be rich since you are old, fat and bald and have a hot wife (that...or you have a really big c*ck...or both, which is OK to promote also and Slim is still claiming that)

I always feel somewhat obligated to play the part of a stupid rich guy being taken advantage of by a hot foreign woman. It is my right! You could always say your wife was a former KGB agent that defected to you when you were in the CIA. This stuff can be just too much fun!

[james&olya 1,121]

This is the RUB forum, you have to pretend you are rich even if you aren't, except for Slim. Slim has blown his cover so bad, no one would believe he was rich even if he won the lottery tonight.

They (other women) presume that you MUST be rich since you are old, fat and bald and have a hot wife (that...or you have a really big c*ck...or both, which is OK to promote also and Slim is still claiming that)

I always feel somewhat obligated to play the part of a stupid rich guy being taken advantage of by a hot foreign woman. It is my right! You could always say your wife was a former KGB agent that defected to you when you were in the CIA. This stuff can be just too much fun!

:rofl: Thanks Gary, I'm going to use that last one!

[Brad and Vika 129]

I always feel somewhat obligated to play the part of a stupid rich guy being taken advantage of by a hot foreign woman. It is my right! You could always say your wife was a former KGB agent that defected to you when you were in the CIA. This stuff can be just too much fun!

True, you can play with a MOB basher's "shocked and offended" attitude for a looong time. I am only limited by the length of time I can keep from laughing.

[slim 1,525]

Slim has blown his cover so bad, no one would believe he was rich even if he won the lottery tonight.

MegaMillions is up to 237 million. I'll be playing Friday. If I win, I won't be a cheapskate, I'll be one of those dudes with a private jet and island home(s) crawling with bikini-clad RUB women.

or you have a really big c*ck...or both, which is OK to promote also and Slim is still claiming that)

I honestly don't know why my wife chose me other than the satisfaction she derives from our interludes. According to her, everything else is horrible.

You could always say your wife was a former KGB agent that defected to you when you were in the CIA. This stuff can be just too much fun!

My wife weaves some pretty good tales to folks. "Oh you like my accent? It's African. Before, I was Chinese spy in South Africa."

"But you're not Chinese...... nor African."

"And what?"

True, you can play with a MOB basher's "shocked and offended" attitude for a looong time. I am only limited by the length of time I can keep from laughing.

Ask them why they're married to an ugly old fat woman. Usually shuts 'em up pretty quick.

[Brad and Vika 129]

Ask them why they're married to an ugly old fat woman. Usually shuts 'em up pretty quick.

Most of the worst bashers (and therefore most easily provoked) are women.

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

Most of the worst bashers (and therefore most easily provoked) are women.

Agreed. We get some horrible looks from women that I know when we go out...whether it be dancing, or to the grocery store. It used to bother Kira at first, and now she thrives on it. She actually ordered a leather outfit a few weeks ago including those black over the knee boots with the heels. She would never wear that in Belarus, but she's copt an attitude of late.

I got a; "At least I didn't buy my wife" remark from my brother...someone I least expected to say something like that, and I replied with; Thank god you didn't, because I would want my money back if I ended up with something that fat and dumb". So he replies with; It isn't about looks, it's all about personality", and of course I told him if that was the case he really got screwed.

[Brad and Vika 129]

Agreed. We get some horrible looks from women that I know when we go out...whether it be dancing, or to the grocery store. It used to bother Kira at first, and now she thrives on it. She actually ordered a leather outfit a few weeks ago including those black over the knee boots with the heels. She would never wear that in Belarus, but she's copt an attitude of late.

I got a; "At least I didn't buy my wife" remark from my brother...someone I least expected to say something like that, and I replied with; Thank god you didn't, because I would want my money back if I ended up with something that fat and dumb". So he replies with; It isn't about looks, it's all about personality", and of course I told him if that was the case he really got screwed.

[1HappyGuy 45]

So, depending on your individual situation the bridal shower may or may not be a good idea. Let each person decide what it best in their situation. We have all had the experience of bringing our wives here and how they dealt with the overwhelming amount of American English they encounter. I refer to American English because as a society we tend to use much slang and generally our spouses exposure to English is of the British variety which is much more formal. How often have you used the word whilst in a sentence but there it is being used by the English all the time.

Many on the RUB have made the point of why we married and the reasons are as varied as our spouses. What some people fail to consider is that we might very well have married for LOVE. Can you imagine that? It is like, it would not be possible for a much younger, very attractive woman to find us older, balding, fat or whatever other problem we appear to have, men, to actually find a woman that would be in love with us. The perception in many parts of the world is that Americans are rich. That is really a matter of perspective. Sure, if we had our American income but lived in other parts of the world, then we could live like the rich. But America is an expensive country.

So, to the OP, decide on your own what is best for your fiancee but remember that she is making a huge transition and you want to make her feel at home with YOU. Nothing else really matters. Find a good ESL class that she can manage and give her time to adjust to her new life. In time all the worries will seem trivial.

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

So, depending on your individual situation the bridal shower may or may not be a good idea. Let each person decide what it best in their situation. We have all had the experience of bringing our wives here and how they dealt with the overwhelming amount of American English they encounter. I refer to American English because as a society we tend to use much slang and generally our spouses exposure to English is of the British variety which is much more formal. How often have you used the word whilst in a sentence but there it is being used by the English all the time.

Many on the RUB have made the point of why we married and the reasons are as varied as our spouses. What some people fail to consider is that we might very well have married for LOVE. Can you imagine that? It is like, it would not be possible for a much younger, very attractive woman to find us older, balding, fat or whatever other problem we appear to have, men, to actually find a woman that would be in love with us. The perception in many parts of the world is that Americans are rich. That is really a matter of perspective. Sure, if we had our American income but lived in other parts of the world, then we could live like the rich. But America is an expensive country.

So, to the OP, decide on your own what is best for your fiancee but remember that she is making a huge transition and you want to make her feel at home with YOU. Nothing else really matters. Find a good ESL class that she can manage and give her time to adjust to her new life. In time all the worries will seem trivial.

Excellent post !

*I just hope you realize that you killed this thread.

[1HappyGuy 45]

Excellent post !

*I just hope you realize that you killed this thread.

You think? :rofl: :rofl:

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Agreed. We get some horrible looks from women that I know when we go out...whether it be dancing, or to the grocery store. It used to bother Kira at first, and now she thrives on it. She actually ordered a leather outfit a few weeks ago including those black over the knee boots with the heels. She would never wear that in Belarus, but she's copt an attitude of late.

I got a; "At least I didn't buy my wife" remark from my brother...someone I least expected to say something like that, and I replied with; Thank god you didn't, because I would want my money back if I ended up with something that fat and dumb". So he replies with; It isn't about looks, it's all about personality", and of course I told him if that was the case he really got screwed.