When is it Okay to Ask Parents to Pay When Invited to a Birthday Party?

[Ban Hammer 13,408]

I was going to say that now that I'm 30, I would like to have a hippie drum circle for my next bday but Aj ruined that whole reply.

probably best if you don't - have one of those and next thing you know, you have a commune in your back yard.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

It's not rude in Steven's hippie subculture of 1.

Thank for you being culturally sensitive to my POV.

True - I think the key is in the invitation.

Oh, and Steven, why is this issue "political"? (or did you just know that you'd get more response in P&R? )

Deciding what pants to wear can be political. It's all relative.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Now I'm curious what your wife wanted to do that was so expensive? Was it actually a theme park, zoo, or what?

We were just talking about ideas and one of the them is renting out a room at the local skating rink. My thought is that we'd provide the room and the food, and if any of the kids wanted to skate, the parents could pitch in. Normally, I'd say just invite a handful of close friends and we'd pay for everyone to skate, but the idea came up of inviting everyone of his classmates so that no one would feel left out.

[The_Dude 1,142]

We were just talking about ideas and one of the them is renting out a room at the local skating rink. My thought is that we'd provide the room and the food, and if any of the kids wanted to skate, the parents could pitch in. Normally, I'd say just invite a handful of close friends and we'd pay for everyone to skate, but the idea came up of inviting everyone of his classmates so that no one would feel left out.

When I was in school, there was an issue with people feeling left out. So much so that the school made it policy that you couldn't hand out birthday party invitations to kids unless you were inviting everyone in the class. Lame.

[Amby 490]

When I was in school, there was an issue with people feeling left out. So much so that the school made it policy that you couldn't hand out birthday party invitations to kids unless you were inviting everyone in the class. Lame.

same thing happened at my elementary school

[one...two...tree 2,762]

When I was in school, there was an issue with people feeling left out. So much so that the school made it policy that you couldn't hand out birthday party invitations to kids unless you were inviting everyone in the class. Lame.

I think if you do the select inviting outside of school, it's cool, but if we're talking about etiquette here in this thread - a kid handing out invitations to a birthday party to only a select number of classmates is bad form, IMO.

[Fandango 1,439]

I think if you do the select inviting outside of school, it's cool, but if we're talking about etiquette here in this thread - a kid handing out invitations to a birthday party to only a select number of classmates is bad form, IMO.

...so is wanting their parents to pay for the skates What's the point of booking a room at the rink, but not throwing in the skates?

[one...two...tree 2,762]

...so is wanting their parents to pay for the skates What's the point of booking a room at the rink, but not throwing in the skates?

Because it's a room to accommodate an entire class for a party. We have parks out here, but with the current weather conditions, an inside venue would be more practical. IMO (which I realize is not popular), would be to include the entire class, but ask the parents to pitch in for the skating if their child wants to skate in addition to enjoying the party. After hearing the opinions of others here, I'm not going to do that. However, I personally would not feel the least offended if my kid were invited to such a party and I was asked to pay if my child wanted to skate.

Edited December 29, 2010 by 8TBVBN

[Amby 490]

how many kids are in the class and how much is the skating fee?

[one...two...tree 2,762]

how many kids are in the class and how much is the skating fee?

I'm not sure, but my guess would be a couple of hundred to cover a class of about 25.

[Marilyn. 340]

I remember back in Canada at the YMCA recreation center you could rent out the gym for Birthdays.. I don't think it cost a lot and they had a tonne of stuff the kids could play on...

[spookyturtle 9,466]

Because it's a room to accommodate an entire class for a party. We have parks out here, but with the current weather conditions, an inside venue would be more practical. IMO (which I realize is not popular), would be to include the entire class, but ask the parents to pitch in for the skating if their child wants to skate in addition to enjoying the party. After hearing the opinions of others here, I'm not going to do that. However, I personally would not feel the least offended if my kid were invited to such a party and I was asked to pay if my child wanted to skate.

Rent a room at a local VFW, or Elks, or church or something like that. There will be no tempting the children with something they can't do that way.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Rent a room at a local VFW, or Elks, or church or something like that. There will be no tempting the children with something they can't do that way.

So a hooka bar is out of the question?

[^_^ 5,021]

True - I think the key is in the invitation.

Oh, and Steven, why is this issue "political"? (or did you just know that you'd get more response in P&R? )

On OT this thread would have evolved very differently. Here's how I think it could have gone down.

Steven.

Jenn.

8

Charles.

Stupid thread.

Stupid person.

Smart person.

Smart thread.

Steven.

Lisa.

[sachinky 465]

This is how I think. If I invite someone to my birthday party, then they are automatically my guest. IMO, it is really poor form to expect my guests to pay to celebrate my birthday. I just think there's something wrong with that notion, culturally relative or not. I've never celebrated a birthday in the States so I'm not sure how I'd go about that (possibly wings/pizza & chips/dips that I'd provide) but like I said, at home, I've always invited a few select friends and we've enjoyed a bottle of wine and Chinese. Sure, I can't invite the 20-30 people I would have if they were all paying for themselves but sometimes a close, intimate gathering is more fun. After dinner, a big group of us (word usually gets around) will usually drift towards a club or something and there everyone usually pays for their own cover charge because that's more of a impromptu "hanging out"/gathering rather than my having specifically invited them. The key is in the invitation but I honestly can't imagine calling someone and saying, "hey, it's my birthday tomorrow and I'd like to invite you to dinner at 7:30 at La Patisserie" and then have them pay for their own meal.

Edited December 30, 2010 by sachinky