When is it Okay to Ask Parents to Pay When Invited to a Birthday Party?

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Steven, you need to fight for your right not to party. (I couldn't resist) Lay down the law! Talk about this materialistic society and instead the birthday party should involve volunteering at a soup kitchen. But don't tell the kids ahead of time. Just say "surprise activities" somewhere on the invitation.

AMEN, sister!

[Amby 490]

I think you need to bring in a petting zoo, rent a bounce house, get a magician, a few clowns, etc

I don't have kids but I'm in a family with lots of little kids running around and I've never heard of a party where you ask others to pay. Usually you pay for everything if you're throwing the party (any kind of party). I think it's tacky to ask people to come to a party for your kid and then ask them to pay for their kid to be there.

[Dan and Judy 614]

I wouldn't ask the guests to pay, I'd just bite the bullet on this one if the wife has her heart set on it. When my kid turned one or two My ex invited half the friggin neighborhood.

I would have preferred just the immediate family instead of filling the house with kids we didnt even know. Filipinas like to have big parties. Tell the wife in the future she has a choice a party at home with a lot of people or the amusment park party with a very select few.

[chri'stina 190]

I find this all interesting because having one's heart set on something doesn't mean anything if it costs too much money. If it can be afforded, fine. It probably can be. Should it be spent is the real Q. For my son's 1st and 2nd bday we had it at home with friends and family over. Some people spend a couple hundred for those kinda parties. I don't get it. My husband is even cheaper than me! Now that's scary.

Edited December 28, 2010 by chri'stina

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Hmmm....this conversation brings up a larger question then - does the same apply to organizing a get together for an adult birthday party? I'll give an example: Let's say for my next birthday, I wanted to have some fun in Vegas with a bunch of my friends. Should I expect to pay for all their expenses? Or should I curtail the birthday celebration event to only something I could afford to pay entirely by myself which would rule out having a birthday celebration in Vegas with a bunch of friends?

See, to me, a situation like that would be perfectly normal to not only ask, but expect my friends to pay for their own expenses. I wouldn't ask them to pay for the party (food, hotel room), but any activities above and beyond that would be on them. The only exception would be if I were someone like P. Diddy.

[ready4ONE 5,400]

I always thought you were P Diddy!

[Ban Hammer 13,475]

if you're throwing the party, then you should pay for it.

[Danno 1,228]

Hmmm....this conversation brings up a larger question then - does the same apply to organizing a get together for an adult birthday party? I'll give an example: Let's say for my next birthday, I wanted to have some fun in Vegas with a bunch of my friends. Should I expect to pay for all their expenses? Or should I curtail the birthday celebration event to only something I could afford to pay entirely by myself which would rule out having a birthday celebration in Vegas with a bunch of friends?

See, to me, a situation like that would be perfectly normal to not only ask, but expect my friends to pay for their own expenses. I wouldn't ask them to pay for the party (food, hotel room), but any activities above and beyond that would be on them. The only exception would be if I were someone like P. Diddy.

I doubt very many people have these type of birthday events (at least not that I am aware of).

One of a kind events, such as taking a group of friends to vegas for a B-day Party, have no social expectations and might therefore have more flexibility in how you pull it off.

If you "are" P Diddy.... the expectation is you WILL pay.

[The_Dude 1,142]

Steven, you need to fight for your right not to party. (I couldn't resist) Lay down the law! Talk about this materialistic society and instead the birthday party should involve volunteering at a soup kitchen. But don't tell the kids ahead of time. Just say "surprise activities" somewhere on the invitation.

I had a friend in primary school whose parents took us all to the beach for my friends birthday. When we got there, we found out that they had signed all of us up to help clean up the beach. Yeah, at 9 years old, efff that bull. I walked home.

Hmmm....this conversation brings up a larger question then - does the same apply to organizing a get together for an adult birthday party? I'll give an example: Let's say for my next birthday, I wanted to have some fun in Vegas with a bunch of my friends. Should I expect to pay for all their expenses? Or should I curtail the birthday celebration event to only something I could afford to pay entirely by myself which would rule out having a birthday celebration in Vegas with a bunch of friends?

See, to me, a situation like that would be perfectly normal to not only ask, but expect my friends to pay for their own expenses. I wouldn't ask them to pay for the party (food, hotel room), but any activities above and beyond that would be on them. The only exception would be if I were someone like P. Diddy.

I have had this situation arise many many times. It is always expected that you pay for yourself. If it is a birthday party in vegas that I am a part of a group organizing it for someone, then we are expected to pay for the birthday boy/girl.

I doubt very many people have these type of birthday events (at least not that I am aware of).

One of a kind events, such as taking a group of friends to vegas for a B-day Party, have no social expectations and might therefore have more flexibility in how you pull it off.

If you "are" P Diddy.... the expectation is you WILL pay.

Maybe it's a age issue, or simply a geographical one. This is a very common situation for everyone i have known.

[Danno 1,228]

Maybe it's a age issue, or simply a geographical one. This is a very common situation for everyone i have known.

Everyone you know, takes all their friends and family on Cruises or excursions at Birthday time?

[The_Dude 1,142]

Everyone you know, takes all their friends and family on Cruises or excursions at Birthday time?

No, I meant that a group trip to Las Vegas or some other location for a birthday weekend is very common.

[^_^ 5,021]

I imagine a group party in Vegas is as common to those who live in SoCal as a group party in Atlantic City is for us.

[chri'stina 190]

I had a friend in primary school whose parents took us all to the beach for my friends birthday. When we got there, we found out that they had signed all of us up to help clean up the beach. Yeah, at 9 years old, efff that bull. I walked home.

If that happened to me, I'd probably stay and do it but would be annoyed inside the whole time.

[Mr. Big Dog 10,747]

My wife and I come from different family customs and cultures. For her, when someone has a party, they pay for everything and will easily spend $300, even for a children's birthday party, which would make my mother gasp. I came from a family of 6 boys and my parents never had any fancy birthday parties for us. I understand if we were inviting guests to a party at our home, we wouldn't ask for anything, but for a venue (like a zoo or skating rink), I don't see anything wrong with asking in the invitations for the parents to pay for their kid's admission. My wife, on the other hand, thinks it is absurd to even consider anyone else paying.

Your opinions?

She's right, you're wrong. And you're cheap.

Aside from that, remember this: If the wife ain't happy, nobody's happy.

Do the right thing my man!

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I imagine a group party in Vegas is as common to those who live in SoCal as a group party in Atlantic City is for us.

And do the guests ever expect the host of the party to pay their way?