Women older then there fiance

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I'm 21 years older than my husband. No one along the process cared; they asked him 2 questions and gave him his visa the next day. We're still going strong. During the time I've been on VJ, I'd say at least half the MENA board women have been older than their SO, some considerably older. I don't remember it being an issue at the consulates for most of them.

[thelastpetitioner 218]

we are of different faiths,what we did was we got a letter,legally,from my mother stating that she is aware of the age difference,his religion and nationality and has no problem with it,maybe if you get a couple of those from his family members ( mostly highlighting the religion difference ) it will come in handy for the interview

[moroccogirlny 100]

May I ask why you waited so long to re-apply? Was there a time frame you had to wait and seen if they reviewed the case. I am happy you finally got your approval and things are well for you.

I was told by my Senators, Congressman, Immigration Liaison and other Politicians that our case would definitely be reviewed within 18 months of return, I even spoke to a adjudicator at the Vermont Service Center one day by luck and was told that our case was close to being reviewed(that was already 20 months). Our case was never reviewed, at least that I know of. By the 2nd year my husband(fiance then) had enrolled in a program at a vocational school which would take 1 year to complete so we figured on waiting another year which I then filed the 2nd petition. Within that time I had added in a few more visits to Morocco(8 trips) so there was no way they could deny us again

Today is actually the 1 year anniversary from our 2nd interview

[mimic 0]

I was told by my Senators, Congressman, Immigration Liaison and other Politicians that our case would definitely be reviewed within 18 months of return, I even spoke to a adjudicator at the Vermont Service Center one day by luck and was told that our case was close to being reviewed(that was already 20 months). Our case was never reviewed, at least that I know of. By the 2nd year my husband(fiance then) had enrolled in a program at a vocational school which would take 1 year to complete so we figured on waiting another year which I then filed the 2nd petition. Within that time I had added in a few more visits to Morocco(8 trips) so there was no way they could deny us again

Today is actually the 1 year anniversary from our 2nd interview

Thank you for explaining what happened in your circumstance. I know with the wait times being so long everyone is saying "keep your self busy" others talk about projects they started...but for me, I am reading up on everything and anything that could possibly delay our application or in the very worst case senerio be denied. I wish I could focus on just relaxing and letting this whole process work that way it is suppose to. Our relationship is completely real, we love each other, we cant wait to start our lives together, and the proof is there, and still I worry about everything. Ugh..kind of frustrating for me

By the way Happy 1 year from 2nd interview anniversary!!

[moroccogirlny 100]

Thank you for explaining what happened in your circumstance. I know with the wait times being so long everyone is saying "keep your self busy" others talk about projects they started...but for me, I am reading up on everything and anything that could possibly delay our application or in the very worst case senerio be denied. I wish I could focus on just relaxing and letting this whole process work that way it is suppose to. Our relationship is completely real, we love each other, we cant wait to start our lives together, and the proof is there, and still I worry about everything. Ugh..kind of frustrating for me

By the way Happy 1 year from 2nd interview anniversary!!

Sure, you're welcome and thank you.

[Cheryl & Medo 3]

I'm 22 years older then Medo.....It did take him 2 1/2 years to get here. And we have been married over 5 years now. All is good.

[mimic 0]

I'm 22 years older then Medo.....It did take him 2 1/2 years to get here. And we have been married over 5 years now. All is good.

2 1/2 years...oh my

[momof1 205]

I guess this won't be a popular response, but I think the typical MENA relationship(general MENA not VJ MENA) is older man with a younger woman. I see the age gap getting smaller and smaller as the years go on though. I've personally only known one MENA man married to an older woman. They're out there for sure(this forum is a great example), but I just haven't come across it to much in my daily life. My husband is ten years older than me and we've been married for 8.5 years.

[mimic 0]

I guess this won't be a popular response, but I think the typical MENA relationship(general MENA not VJ MENA) is older man with a younger woman. I see the age gap getting smaller and smaller as the years go on though. I've personally only known one MENA man married to an older woman. They're out there for sure(this forum is a great example), but I just haven't come across it to much in my daily life. My husband is ten years older than me and we've been married for 8.5 years.

lol..I might not like your response...just kidding...I am grateful for any responses I get..the fact is Yep i am older them him, we dont see age difference, we do love each other very much. i think it was harder for me to accept age difference them him, but i have decided why should I have a problem with it if he doenst. Maybe it worked out the way it did because we didnt talk about age at all at first. I dont look my age and he doenst look his so it wasnt obvious at first. when people see pictures of us together no one comments or even asks how old he is..we must just fit togehter nicely

[Olive♥ 2]

In the new generations (in morocco) people do what they want more. Marry who they want even if it is not accepted by there family. The trend is becoming more modern in theyre thinking and less traditional. However if you are a guy in morocco, it would be normal for you to wait until you have a good income, maybe can buy a home, etc to support your own family, (before marrying) and thus it will take time and you will be a bit older by the time this happens for you. With a girl, her family might urge her to marry by the time she is 16-20 so that she will not date anyone (accept her fiance) so there is the answer to the older guy younger girl equasion. As for the older woman yonger man thing in morocco. Sometimes a girl (like here) just is not focused on having her own family and is not in a rush to leave her home. Or maybe her husband dies and she marries another guy who just happens to be younger (same as anywhere on earth) I know coming from the USA traditions it is hard for us to understand that ANYONE would not be as concious of the age differences as we or shall I say (american men) are. But they areant! truely they areent! I am 20 years older than my husband and he has never mentioned it or made me feel old. He thinks I am wonderful! And it was not a problem for our visa as well. For us the consulate seemed to just give us the usual hubub over little picky strange things that did not seem to make alot of sence to anyone but them. So we could not make sence of it. We just waited out our 2 mos or so in AP and got our visa 11 mos after I sent in our packet. On the CR1. It's been 2 years that my husband has been here now and it's great. I do not ever feel i was used for a visa and I never worry he wil leave me for any reason. I got my info about morocco from my husband so I have to believe he knows what he is talking about. As for american men LOL they can't help being the way they are conditioned to be. Life here seems to create some pretty selfish behavior (unfortunately) Thank god there are still countries where you can find a mate that is commitment minded still! Hurray for visa's!!!! Happy New Year Everyone!!!!! Olive

Edited January 1, 2011 by Olive♥

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

I guess this won't be a popular response, but I think the typical MENA relationship(general MENA not VJ MENA) is older man with a younger woman. I see the age gap getting smaller and smaller as the years go on though. I've personally only known one MENA man married to an older woman. They're out there for sure(this forum is a great example), but I just haven't come across it to much in my daily life. My husband is ten years older than me and we've been married for 8.5 years.

I know 3 still married that are mixed marriages. One has 4 kids and hijabi. One has 5 kids and is niqabi. Both American women one Algerian one Tunisian.One Algerian man kabilye, one kid, spanish wife. Still married. Everyone else ( lets say like 15 couples) is divorced. I had 2 arab friends recently get married after citizenship. The syrian is 52 his wife is 26 and they now have 2 kids. The other is 52 and after citizenship he married his first cousin who is 28 ( Algerian) Its very normal for to marry someone your kids age so although your response isnt popular, its truthful. The guy I petitioned father, unbeknownst to me, married a european in the 70s to go to Europe who was much much older than him. I didnt know that at the time when I met him nor did his family tell me. Using westerners to get papers and marrying much older is not a new thing.. Its been done for years. And its not something to brag about thats for sure. People make whatever choices they want to but surviving a 3rd world financial situation isnt necessarily something westerners can relate to. The internet has amplified many of these relationships. When I was in high school, if someone married for papers it was because somehow they got over here illegally. You didnt see all this marriage fraud at the levels it is at now because how would anyone even meet each other unless it was on vacation or they went through the rigors to get here...The internet is responsible for most of these relations and also causing the opportunities for fraud. I just dont remember this many marriages even in 2002. I also think many Americans being poor and out of work and not able to sponsor or travel is going to cut down on alot of apps as well. I cant see the amounts continuing to increase at least for a while. Most cant afford the thousands it costs to travel there and back and forth like everyone could years ago

[venusfire503 54]

Yeah, I see many older (often Christian) USC women and younger Muslim MENA men on this forum. Not sure the percentages, but we definitely aren't a rare thing here. I'm 11 years older than my husband, it took him only 3 months to get here, and we've been married for almost 4 years now. Things are great between us.

Of course, there are other outcomes in other relationships. Trust your instincts, and be prepared to hear people tell you things that won't make you happy. I still have idiots telling me about people they knew who were (in their opinion) used for a green card. These are people I just met, and it's happened several times. Makes me want to say to them "gee, I should've told you about my stepfather who was diagnosed with cancer - got any 'good' stories for me about that too?!!" Yeah, I know fraud happens, but it's not in every single case. And trust me, you're not in this process very long before you're made aware of the fact that it does happen. Some people tell you about it out of concern, some out of ignorance.

Anyway, once you've decided that your relationship is a good one, and you have a good shot at it, it's time to convince the people who decide about the visa. Prepare, prepare, prepare... and pray.

Best of luck!

venusfire

[mimic 0]

Yeah, I see many older (often Christian) USC women and younger Muslim MENA men on this forum. Not sure the percentages, but we definitely aren't a rare thing here. I'm 11 years older than my husband, it took him only 3 months to get here, and we've been married for almost 4 years now. Things are great between us.

Of course, there are other outcomes in other relationships. Trust your instincts, and be prepared to hear people tell you things that won't make you happy. I still have idiots telling me about people they knew who were (in their opinion) used for a green card. These are people I just met, and it's happened several times. Makes me want to say to them "gee, I should've told you about my stepfather who was diagnosed with cancer - got any 'good' stories for me about that too?!!" Yeah, I know fraud happens, but it's not in every single case. And trust me, you're not in this process very long before you're made aware of the fact that it does happen. Some people tell you about it out of concern, some out of ignorance.

Anyway, once you've decided that your relationship is a good one, and you have a good shot at it, it's time to convince the people who decide about the visa. Prepare, prepare, prepare... and pray.

Best of luck!

venusfire

Truly, I just dont tell alot of people about my situation. I figure it this way, my family and close friends know about him and some of them have been have been supportive and some not so much..well let me rephrase that my family has been wonderful, friends not all. I am sure it is out of concern and really having the inablility to prove the questions they ask. do i think this is a fraud case. No i dont, I have been there twice to see him and actually going back in 3 weeks. We always have a great time together. We talk everynight about normal everyday things. My day..his day. EVeryone says be prepared; sometimes i just dont know what that means. We have the proof, we have the time together, we spend hours a night together, even if in the "nonconventual" way. How is this different then a relationship here. The only thing I can think of is that we cant spend as much actual physical time together, butt that is not our choice at all. I travel when I can, but there is just someone can do in the regard. the great thing about this trip is my sister is going with me, so one of my family members is actually going to meet him in person and not just on skype. I am really so excited for this to happen

[morocco4ever 63]

Okay, I feel I am qualified to answer. I am 21 years older than my husband. He got denied a visa, and although age difference wasn't noted as the reason, I believe that, as well as some other miscommunications were the reason. We finally got it reaffirmed, and he has been here for over 4 years. We have been married over 6 years.

Bottom line here, and I will be totally honest. Most older woman/younger man marriage are for the convenience. I am not basing this on those here on VJ, but basic knowledge. When we marry a man that is considerably younger than us we are taking a huge chance. We have to be smart enough to realize that this is a strong possibility. And our best defense is our ability to take off any blinders that we may choose to wear.

Will this be an issue at the interview? Possibly. They are certainly going to look at the relationship a lot closer...you can bet on it. Many visits are a bonus. Not marrying on the first visit is good, but not all important. A wise poster on here once told me "Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst". Just because a few on here say that it won't be an issue doesn't mean it won't. It just means it wasn't for them.

For many of us the transition once they got here was actually worse than the wait....lol I'm still waiting for the transition period to be over. But I do love the pain in the butt.

Edited January 6, 2011 by morocco4ever

[mimic 0]

Okay, I feel I am qualified to answer. I am 21 years older than my husband. He got denied a visa, and although age difference wasn't noted as the reason, I believe that, as well as some other miscommunications were the reason. We finally got it reaffirmed, and he has been here for over 4 years. We have been married over 6 years.

Bottom line here, and I will be totally honest. Most older woman/younger man marriage are for the convenience. I am not basing this on those here on VJ, but basic knowledge. When we marry a man that is considerably younger than us we are taking a huge chance. We have to be smart enough to realize that this is a strong possibility. And our best defense is our ability to take off any blinders that we may choose to wear.

Will this be an issue at the interview? Possibly. They are certainly going to look at the relationship a lot closer...you can bet on it. Many visits are a bonus. Not marrying on the first visit is good, but not all important. A wise poster on here once told me "Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst". Just because a few on here say that it won't be an issue doesn't mean it won't. It just means it wasn't for them.

For many of us the transition once they got here was actually worse than the wait....lol I'm still waiting for the transition period to be over. But I do love the pain in the butt.

thank you. Everything you said are all things i have and will continue to think about. Certainly things are going well at this point or i would have never taken this bold step. I am planning visit #3 in a few weeks. i am so excited to just be with him again if only for a short time at the moment. May I ask how old he is, if that is a to personal question I completely understand.

Thanks for the open and honest information and congrats on a successful marriage..i think the best marriage transition forever, that means change is taking place and everyone is accepting the change. I guess it will never be boring for you!