Still Married?

[mendeleev 68]

Started to vote, then realized I was ineligible, since we didn't meet over the internet. We met in real life, got to know each other thru emails. Been married 4 years now ...

[thongd4me 69]

Still married after 1 year; I don't suspect those who are happily divorced will be answering this poll,

as VJ would not be a good source of single folk...

[Ban Hammer 13,332]

Good Lord, Steven took the words outta my mouth! Is it the apocalypse?

should i be worried when you and steven sound the same?

[AngelK96 0]

Yeah sitll married... happy and sometimes not happy, but for the most part happy! 2/1/2011 6 years marrried 1 year engaged , 1 year friends. wouldn't change a thing!

[Teacher Mark 53]

Still married after 1 year; I don't suspect those who are happily divorced will be answering this poll,

as VJ would not be a good source of single folk...

I'm in the process of getting a divorce, but we've been separated a year and a half.

[thongd4me 69]

I'm in the process of getting a divorce, but we've been separated a year and a half.

Sorry to hear that friend. I may have sounded flippant but I'm sure you're here for all the right reasons.

I feel your pain, I had a particularly difficult divorce with Japanese first wife (went to court today in fact).

IM me if you need to chat.

[Teacher Mark 53]

Sorry to hear that friend. I may have sounded flippant but I'm sure you're here for all the right reasons.

I feel your pain, I had a particularly difficult divorce with Japanese first wife (went to court today in fact).

IM me if you need to chat.

I didn't interpret your remarks as flippant.

I'm about to start pushing for the divorce and I don't expect it to be easy, not that the majority of divorces ever are.

Why am I still on VJ? This website changed the course of my life for the better. I've made contacts here that helped steer me to 2 different jobs. I also have a little experience living in Vietnam. I try to help other Vietnam VJers when I can. I look at this as a break in the journey. I imagine I'll remarry a Vietnamese woman one day and eventually make my way back home, good Lord willin' and the creeks don't rise!

When are you and your wife coming back over? You should make a side trip over to Vietnam when you do. You have a place to stay, assuming I'm still here.

[R&W 5]

Supportive of me emotionally. Example 'there there everything will be ok' not her exact words she isn't that lame. She never has once said she can find someone better because I don't have a job. She sees me trying and sees me getting the interviews. She tells me for each one I don't get it hurts her too because she knows how badly I want a job and even though I haven't been able to get one yet she still stands by me. This is one of the reasons I love her because out of the dozen of girls I've dated met she actually accepts me for who I am and not how much money I have or am going to have. Things like this makes me not mind going all the way to Jordan to get her. She is well worth it to me.

Love is in the air.

5 years and 9 months here.

[thongd4me 69]

I didn't interpret your remarks as flippant.

I'm about to start pushing for the divorce and I don't expect it to be easy, not that the majority of divorces ever are.

Why am I still on VJ? This website changed the course of my life for the better. I've made contacts here that helped steer me to 2 different jobs. I also have a little experience living in Vietnam. I try to help other Vietnam VJers when I can. I look at this as a break in the journey. I imagine I'll remarry a Vietnamese woman one day and eventually make my way back home, good Lord willin' and the creeks don't rise!

When are you and your wife coming back over? You should make a side trip over to Vietnam when you do. You have a place to stay, assuming I'm still here.

I don't regret having kids but if I could do it over not with her as a mother.

If I can say anything about when to divorce you are doing much better doing it quickly

before there are children.

The reason for this is the notion that if there is bad behavior that will not change and

children may make the behavior even worse (it did in her case). She had an extremely

dysfunctional relationship with HER mother and this was transferred to the kids.

She even admitted to me that she wondered WHY her older daughter once

threatened to kill her (what goes around comes around).

The best advice in the future is take it very very slow.

I knew my first wife for more than 2 years before we married, but had NOT A CLUE

about the general dysfunction between her and her family (it was mostly HER fault,

but that's with 20-20 hindsight). If I had gone with her to Japan once or twice BEFORE

we married and observed all that ####### instead of just AFTER we married, I think the

story would have been different.

With my Thai wife we knew each other for 7 years before we married and I got to see

all her family, friends & co-workers and she was aces with all of them, even the ones

she had problems with. She is very understanding & supportive relative to the current

problems with my ex.

That's why the USCIS requires that the couples meet IN PERSON.

What you see is what you get; don't expect too much change from the other person,

because I expected my first wife to change and was patient for many many years

without the expected result.

[Mithra 1,185]

Agreed.

We met online. We've been married 5 years.

I disagree. Talking doesn't necessarily mean you can know the person better. Nonverbal communication, IMO, reveals more of the chemistry between two people than talking. Also, in a LDR, you can't really know how the other person interacts and reacts to others, until you've been with them and witnessed for yourself. You'll see how they handle stress, anger, conflict. When you aren't around the person physically, I think there's more a tendency to fill in the gaps with our romantic ideals about the other person, than in a normal courtship.

[Dr. Obvious 49]

ok i just realized that in about 3 years we will have been married 10 years.. .. wow, that sure crept up fast!!

Really. It is hard enough for me to believe that I'll need to renew my passport in two years, let alone know I'll be married ten years in three.

Edited January 17, 2011 by Wacken

[Romancita 3]

Quite new in the "business" of marriage - only one year and a half. We met online and then I went to visit him in another state after 2 weeks of funny e-mails and chat conversations. His humor won me over from the very first time!

[raymaga 25]

It will be 7 years for us in August.... it has gone so fast and hopefully the next 6 1/2 years will go just as fast because that's when we plan to retire and move back to Canada.

[aminah 6]

Married for 5 yrs but thanks to being in AP for 6 mo's we've only lived together 3.5 yrs.

[Nessa 23]

4.5 years married after meeting online 7.5 years ago.