AOS IS ABSOLUTE TORTURE

[Filipina35 0]

Also maybe you can volunteer your time in something that is already related to your previous work experience. Just something else that you can add onto your resume.

Last night I was looking into that..found volunteer websites, but then on this site there's conflicting information about whether you're allowed to do it or not. Then again, I can't walk to and from "work"..therein lies the vicious cycle of frustration. But good advice, ty.

[Casprd 167]

Hang in there. As maddening as it is, you just have to find something to occupy your time. The public transit system in most US cities is not that great, but there has to be some option for getting from your home to someplace like the YWCA where you can volunteer your time. If you call them and ask, I would bet they will be happy to help you figure it out just to have another volunteer during the holidays. Even if it means someone who drives near you gives you a ride. This will kill some time and help you to meet new people at the same time. As for the money issues, things are tight all over. I really can't understand why he would spend a lot on christmas presents for his family if money is so tight. I would think better to spend that money on an inexpensive car for you but that is just my opinion. Bottom line is the bored waiting will kill you. Find something to do even if it is just going out for a walk or a run. You can find walking groups in your city online. Same with running groups.

[Filipina35 0]

Hang in there. As maddening as it is, you just have to find something to occupy your time. The public transit system in most US cities is not that great, but there has to be some option for getting from your home to someplace like the YWCA where you can volunteer your time. If you call them and ask, I would bet they will be happy to help you figure it out just to have another volunteer during the holidays. Even if it means someone who drives near you gives you a ride. This will kill some time and help you to meet new people at the same time. As for the money issues, things are tight all over. I really can't understand why he would spend a lot on christmas presents for his family if money is so tight. I would think better to spend that money on an inexpensive car for you but that is just my opinion. Bottom line is the bored waiting will kill you. Find something to do even if it is just going out for a walk or a run. You can find walking groups in your city online. Same with running groups.

Thanks, taking all the advice I can get. His family is sprawling and they're very close-knit so not buying gifts is out of the question. He's taken care of all my needs all these months so I won't ask him to do that. He said after Christmas we'll work on the car, which I understand.

[TBoneTX 45,291]

Find something to do even if it is just going out for a walk or a run.

I was going to say: Violent physical exercise can be beneficial to one's mental health. Find something aerobic, or procure some barbells for basic weightlifting, or drop down and do 50 (or X number of) push-ups, or go out for a dedicated brisk walk, or even carry a heavy boxful of items up & down the stairs (if applicable) several times. You might perform one or more of these activities more than once a day, depending on your frame of mind.

The above advice comes from someone whose firm philosophy is "If I'm healthy enough to exercise, I'm healthy enough not to." Nonetheless, pick a physical activity or two and keep track of how your mood changes (improves).

[Beth & Chard 8]

There are Filipino American organizations all over the USA, in every state.

Do some on line searches under Filipino American Association/s. Fil-Am, Philipine american groups orgs, something like that.

You have a PC, so contact them on line. contact their members, reach out make some friends,

I am sure they can use volunteers to help with what ever events or projects they have going.

Find a fil-am organization that is working on a cause you might be interested in.

And the membership dues are typically very cheap for the social organizations

Hopefully, you can find someone that lives near you, that can help you get around.

you will feel much better if you get get in touch with a local kabayan.

Start with this link:

http://www.thefilipino.com/

http://www.thefilipino.com/filipinosincalifornia.html

Good for you for venting, you are asking for help. Now go ask them for some help.

A filipino alone, that is beyond my comprehension.....LOL

Good luck to you kaibigan ko.

[Filipina35 0]

There are Filipino American organizations all over the USA, in every state.

Do some on line searches under Filipino American Association/s. Fil-Am, Philipine american groups orgs, something like that.

You have a PC, so contact them on line. contact their members, reach out make some friends,

I am sure they can use volunteers to help with what ever events or projects they have going.

Find a fil-am organization that is working on a cause you might be interested in.

And the membership dues are typically very cheap for the social organizations

Hopefully, you can find someone that lives near you, that can help you get around.

you will feel much better if you get get in touch with a local kabayan.

Start with this link:

http://www.thefilipino.com/

Thank you for the links

http://www.thefilipino.com/filipinosincalifornia.html

Good for you for venting, you are asking for help. Now go ask them for some help.

A filipino alone, that is beyond my comprehension.....LOL

Good luck to you kaibigan ko.

[Filipina35 0]

I was going to say: Violent physical exercise can be beneficial to one's mental health. Find something aerobic, or procure some barbells for basic weightlifting, or drop down and do 50 (or X number of) push-ups, or go out for a dedicated brisk walk, or even carry a heavy boxful of items up & down the stairs (if applicable) several times. You might perform one or more of these activities more than once a day, depending on your frame of mind.

The above advice comes from someone whose firm philosophy is "If I'm healthy enough to exercise, I'm healthy enough not to." Nonetheless, pick a physical activity or two and keep track of how your mood changes (improves).

Tried and true! Gonna have my husband get me some dumbells and aerobic dvds...that would definitely boost the spirit. @walking/running outside in this bitter cold? I'll pass

[Irishlover 2]

People keep telling me "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger" I HATE America for putting people through this torture, because that's what it really is. It's like they makes us feel as if we're criminals because we love someone who isn't from the US! As you see from the responses you got, there are sooooooo many unfortunately people out there going through this process. Keep remembering that it's worth it in the end (as long as the US is really were you want to end up;)

[Tuanv 2]

I definitely know how you feel because I feel the same way. I just graduated from school with a B.A in psychology and looking for a job. It seems like everyday I am doing the same thing: wake up, try to find a job, sleep. Hang in there. I think it is best for you to find a way to get a car and get a job. I don't think you should continue to live this way because it may spoil your relationship with your husband.

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

Last night I was looking into that..found volunteer websites, but then on this site there's conflicting information about whether you're allowed to do it or not. Then again, I can't walk to and from "work"..therein lies the vicious cycle of frustration. But good advice, ty.

You are absolutely allowed to volunteer! You can't accept money for work, that's all. And in case you don't know...

Hope you get the joke in that one! Good luck!

[Brandi n Michael 8]

I feel your pain!! I came in on K3 visa from finishing my masters and working full time. It was nice for about 6 months but then I was so bored that I was cranky and tired! It was a huge strain on our relationship! Time went on and on. We decided to apply for EAD prior to AoS because we could on a K3 visa but still it took 4 months to get that *sigh* I tried volunteering but it would just tick me off that I assumed everyone's work load while they socialized. I have a strong work ethic and well that caused me more stress lol. Now that I work we share the vehicle it makes for long days but at least I get out now. We also have zero friendships but we are starting to meet people through church so it is coming together. When I was home bored I took up playing World of Warcraft lol at least you can chat with people on there

It will get easier but yes it sucks until then and the USA government doesn't care one bit about what they put you and your spouse through. If anything if you can make it, it proves to them you have a 'real' marriage

[Martenss 1]

People keep telling me "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger" I HATE America for putting people through this torture, because that's what it really is. It's like they makes us feel as if we're criminals because we love someone who isn't from the US! As you see from the responses you got, there are sooooooo many unfortunately people out there going through this process. Keep remembering that it's worth it in the end (as long as the US is really were you want to end up;)

I am tottaly agreeing with this! I wish every single person in U.S ha dto go thru at least doctors test( our doctors apptointments for AOS.). You mean I have to proof to you I am healthy enough?(... and does it remind you something ?) did you look out the window at Wendy's ... are you kidding me?

I will go thru it, because i love my husband, but I will never tell my parents what we all have to go thru... I am just at the beginning of my journey to green card ( look at my timeline), but it is always better to have a companion in miserableness. I have fingers crossed for every single one of you.

Edited December 16, 2010 by Martenss

[SpelaD 4]

yeah, i know how it is...hubby and I are both starting to get cranky...i've been in the USA since end July and because we cant afford to move out on one paycheck we're living at his parents house...and being confined to one room all the time pretty much gets frustrating for both of us. I get bored when he's at work, when he gets home he doesnt get any "him" time cuz im always there, right up his face...so I cant wait to start working so we can move out and start living a real married life.

[rlogan 2,036]

The financial institutions lined the pockets of congressmen with millions, gave them obscenely low mortgage deals, etc. so they got a trillion dollars just handed over to them right away for filling out almost a full one-page application.

But my guess is you paid no political bribes like the rest of us, and so for you it is a wait of months and months despite the fact each application actually takes minutes to process. They can fund this at a level resulting in applications being processed in two days if they were motivated to do that.

The thirty-million plus illegal immigrants just walked across the border. Why do all that paperwork, pay the money, and be treated like a criminal? They seem to be telling us that if you don't want to be treated like a criminal - then just BE a criminal.

Interesting too that the anti-immigration crowd prohibits you from working at the same time they are saying immigrants are a burden on the taxpayer.

So, you steel yourself in the same way refugees, prisoners of war, and political prisoners do. The uncertainty kills you. Nothing to do and no way to work harder to get the job done.

You sound like a person that was productive and busy. So you set goals you would not normally set because of the situation. Read books on lower mesopotamian forges of the 12th century. Start playing the tuba.

Exercise was a good suggestion, and good that you are going to do it.

Bitter cold? Thirty-five below zero here today.

Just dress for it.

[NVC FAN :( 18]

relax your going to be approved. you really think that after you paid all the fees and already in the us that they are just going to decide to send you home. I know its frustrating, as far as the process and the us in general ' love it or leave it' when im in the ph i accept the way things are and change myself to conform. so many ppl come here and want to change our way of life. most of those ppl i call democrats but thats another story. good luck