What would you do?

[Dan and Judy 614]

I guess it wouldn't hurt to ask Jen. It's not like she won't still be in the wedding party. And if she does really love me as a friend, she won't walk away from me right now when I need her support. I guess I'm just freaking out because Julian's flight is tomorrow and I can't wait to see him!

This sounds like a really great idea -- thank you SO much.

Good Morning, I came back to read the rest of the posts, This is my favorite. Are you trying to convince him? or yourself?

Thongguy is making a good faith effort to give good advice and he was doing ok until he superimposed his life on yours.

He was apparently estranged from his brother against his will.

He was longing for that relationship. His new wife is helping to him to have that relationship, ,,,,,,,,,,,,, good

the difference is , you are not longing for a relationship with your sister

you would like to get as far away as possible

Your boyfriend is pushing you to do what you dont want to do ............................. not good

If she is really in favor of your marriage she should be thrilled to be godmother to your (and Julian's) kid.

Obviously if she hates the guy she is not in favor of your wedding. She appears to be willing to go along

for your sake. she thinks you are making a mistake.

You could say you had no idea that your sister wanted to be in the wedding party but since she has a

change of heart you have to go with that because it would be an opportunity to rebuild your relationship

with her.

you know you dont want your sister in the wedding party at all. your mother knows it, your sister knows it

your boyfriend knows it. Jen knows it. So who exactly would you be kidding? If your sister cared for

anyone but herself she wouldnt dream of asking you to snub your best friend who has been lined up

to do this for months.

Im not sure what rebuilding is supposed to take place.

you dont like her and dont want to be around her because of the way she treats you,

Edited December 10, 2010 by Dan and Judy

[BishopM 114]

About 10 days ago, one of my bridesmaids told me she no longer wanted to be in my wedding after she and I had a huge fight. She and my fiance don't get along very well, and I have known this for a while, but until the beginning of last week she seemed to be able to just keep quiet about this and help us celebrate our wedding. However, she seems to have changed her mind now. She brought back the bridesmaid's dress and shoes I bought her and told me to find someone else. I couldn't believe it! She left me with about 2 1/2 weeks (our wedding is a week from this Saturday) to find someone new to be a bridesmaid. My mom made me choose my sister, which I had NOT wanted to do for any number of reasons (first off, she is too large up top to fit in the dress, so we needed to get her a new one and then have it tailored).

Now my sister is being totally unbearable, and is demanding that she be made maid of honor since she's my sister. What's worse is my mom agrees! I have already had the same friend as my MOH since I got engaged in the spring, and it seems cruel to demote her now. Especially since I never wanted my sister in my wedding party in the first place! I know if I don't "promote" Rachel (my sister) to MOH, I won't have any rest from her or my mom, but if I "demote" Jen I will be doing something I don't want to do and I'll hurt her feelings.

Since many of my close friends are involved already in the wedding planning, I feel like I can't get an objective point of view on this, so I thought I could ask people here. So -- what would you do? I feel like I should stand my ground, but my fiance thinks I should go along with my mother and sister. Help!

Tell your sister that if she wants to be MOH to get a #######-reduction which will make the dress fit...if she won't do that for you then she's not really qualified to be MOH.

Just kidding...

Keep the original MOH.

Blessings to you on your upcoming wedding/marriage!

B

[MelissaJulian 30]

Good Morning, I came back to read the rest of the posts, This is my favorite. Are you trying to convince him? or yourself?

Thongguy is making a good faith effort to give good advice and he was doing ok until he superimposed his life on yours.

He was apparently estranged from his brother against his will.

He was longing for that relationship. His new wife is helping to him to have that relationship, ,,,,,,,,,,,,, good

the difference is , you are not longing for a relationship with your sister

you would like to get as far away as possible

Your boyfriend is pushing you to do what you dont want to do ............................. not good

If she is really in favor of your marriage she should be thrilled to be godmother to your (and Julian's) kid.

Obviously if she hates the guy she is not in favor of your wedding. She appears to be willing to go along

for your sake. she thinks you are making a mistake.

You could say you had no idea that your sister wanted to be in the wedding party but since she has a

change of heart you have to go with that because it would be an opportunity to rebuild your relationship

with her.

you know you dont want your sister in the wedding party at all. your mother knows it, your sister knows it

your boyfriend knows it. Jen knows it. So who exactly would you be kidding? If your sister cared for

anyone but herself she wouldnt dream of asking you to snub your best friend who has been lined up

to do this for months.

Im not sure what rebuilding is supposed to take place.

you dont like her and dont want to be around her because of the way she treats you,

I think you get some things right here -- I DON'T want Rachel in my wedding party at all. She manages to steal attention away from everyone at moments that have nothing to do with her. This is just another time when she's doing it.

I'm actually having a terrible morning. Julian missed his flight, and there's not another one today on BA that he can get on. He's trying to reschedule right now, but all our plans for the weekend are ruined. I'm so angry with him, but also just plain disappointed.

[Ontarkie 14,535]

This is how I look at it, its 2 weeks to the wedding. Has your MOH done all the things one expects from a MOH. Does she help you alot with the wedding or is she just doing the bare minimum. Being that its so close to the wedding do you really want to piss her off by putting your sister in her place, cause I'm sure if she is your best friend she would know how you feel about your sister and how your sister feels about you. Honestly I would not put my sister as my MOH, and I didn't we don't get along and never will. My mother forced my 2 sisters into my wedding and all they did was complain. You will not get any more peace putting your sister as your MOH, it will only get worse. She will then think she has more power over the rest and push even harder. Honestly I would of just not bothered finding another brides maid just to avoid having my sister become a bigger pain.

[TracyTN 237]

[TBoneTX 46,262]

Julian missed his flight

Why?

[Fandango 1,440]

cos he doesn't exist!

[jodee 30]

I think you have a LOT of unresolved issues, both with your soon to be husband, and your family.

Him missing the plane, may of been no fault of his own. It is unfair to bereate him on here for that, when he has no opportunity to defend the reason.

I understand that this is YOUR wedding day, but it technically belongs to both of you. You need to tell your family this, and do not let them dictate what they want.

You need to remember one important thing in all this. He will soon be your husband, he is the one you will be living with and spending your life with. Maybe you need to consider his feelings in this and not just your own.

You need to sit down with your original MOH , and explain to her the situation, ask her for a suggestion to your solution. Maybe she will herself suggest she steps down to keep the peace, especially if Julian and her are not fond of each other right now. She is doing this for you because she loves you as a friend, but maybe considering her feelings towards Julian, she feels uncomfortable in the situation but is doing it to see you happy as well. If she herself offers to step down,..then you could offer her the godmother role.

Again, I understand this is YOUR day, but he is giving up half of his life and leaving it behind because he loves YOU. You need to tone down your own selfishness in this, and consider him and his request also, as like I said,..the wedding day BELONGS to BOTH OF YOU.

sorry to sound harsh,...but you needed a few realities

Edited December 10, 2010 by jodee

[Ban Hammer 13,625]

You need to remember one important thing in all this. He will soon be your husband, he is the one you will be living with and spending your life with. Maybe you need to consider his feelings in this and not just your own.

good point, jodee. she should start getting used to love, honor, and obey.

[jodee 30]

good point, jodee. she should start getting used to love, honor, and obey.

Ahh, Charles. trust you to turn this around...lmao

[tmma 467]

I think you should give Rachel the uber important job of looking after Jocasta.

LOL- Jocasta will be safely esconced at some mega luxury hotel somewhere sippin' on the vintage vino and complaining about Julian's choice of house......

You only have one sister and we all know part of the reason you didn't want her ' in' is that you said is because she is prettier than you, and you were worried about whats-his-name (the best man) getting molested by her, which is really petty, btw.

what's this chapter called?

Edited December 11, 2010 by tmma

[tmma 467]

wait!

He missed his flight??!!

[Dan and Judy 614]

You need to sit down with your original MOH , and explain to her the situation, ask her for a suggestion to your solution. Maybe she will herself suggest she steps down to keep the peace, especially if Julian and her are not fond of each other right now. She is doing this for you because she loves you as a friend, but maybe considering her feelings towards Julian, she feels uncomfortable in the situation but is doing it to see you happy as well. If she herself offers to step down,..then you could offer her the godmother role.

what makes anybody think she'll be allowed to choose the Godmother of her baby if she's not allowed to choose her own maid of honor?

Her sister has already ruined this wedding ceremony. Did somebody think it was an accident she wasnt even a bridesmaid to start with?

If sis is a bridesmaid the bride will be unhappy.

The only possible thing that could now turn this into the happiest day of her life (which it is supposed to be).

would be for the Groom to step up and say, "If Melissa doesn't want her sister in

the wedding party, then she's not going to be in the wedding party".

that might

even earn him the grudging respect of Melissa friends.

If he's not going to stand up for her now, When will he?

if he does it, Mom and Rachael will be unhappy but Melissa will have the satisfaction

of knowing she is marrying a man that wants to protect her and has the cajones to do it.

[thongd4me 69]

wait!

He missed his flight??!!

If he missed his flight for a reason other than the airport

being closed or the airline being on strike, he may be

trying to send a message that issues related to his

upcoming marriage should not be decided by

squabbling relatives, friends, or well-meaning

anonymous contacts on the internet, myself included.

Edited December 11, 2010 by thongd4me

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

One of our neighbors is a JP. She married us on the front lawn. Our children took photos.