What to do next?

[mcdsnight 5]

What's so mean about it? She's already cost him how much? Why should anyone in his shoes feel obligated to spend more on a return ticket for her?

Maybe the humiliation of being dumped at the Consulate's doorstep will teach her something. Further if all Kanos who are scammed handle it this way maybe it would serve as fair warning to anyone thinking of scamming for a GreenCard.

I guess your description of love isn't pure... too bad...

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. . .And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. - excerpts from 1 Corinthians 13:4-13

[jrmejia 31]

I guess your description of love isn't pure... too bad...

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. . .And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. - excerpts from 1 Corinthians 13:4-13

Well said

Edited December 6, 2010 by jrmejia

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

I guess your description of love isn't pure... too bad...

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. . .And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. - excerpts from 1 Corinthians 13:4-13

There is no love when a scammer is involved. The scammer doesn't love the victim and the victim doesn't even really know the scammer therefore they can't love the scammer despite how much they may think they love the person they thought they knew. There is no bible quote that can get around those facts. When you're dealing with a scammer all bets are off, there is no trust, hope, patience etc for scammers are evil and only a fool welcomes evil into their heart with open arms and closed eyes.

FWIW, dropping her at the Philippine Consulate is a lot more humane than stranding her in Mexico or at a homeless shelter.

[Atencio 43]

No, being a man means that you stand-up for yourself and respect yourself first.

For example, you don't enter into a relationship that you know is most likely one way emotionally because you know that not only do you deserve to have someone love you for yourself (not the greencard you can get for them) but you also refuse to settle for less than that.

I think the implication is obvious to just about everyone else reading this thread.

I don't think so. I agree with jrmejia. Because someone treats you like trash does not mean you have to act the same way. That is not acting like a man in my opinion. You have to be better than she is not the same. Get rid of her fine. But do it with class.

[jrmejia 31]

There is no bible quote that can get around those facts.

Love thy neighbor; Love thy enemy if nothing else works.

[mcdsnight 5]

There is no love when a scammer is involved. The scammer doesn't love the victim and the victim doesn't even really know the scammer therefore they can't love the scammer despite how much they may think they love the person they thought they knew. There is no bible quote that can get around those facts. When you're dealing with a scammer all bets are off, there is no trust, hope, patience etc for scammers are evil and only a fool welcomes evil into their heart with open arms and closed eyes.

FWIW, dropping her at the Philippine Consulate is a lot more humane than stranding her in Mexico or at a homeless shelter.

There's no love? so after all those times they spent together chatting emailing and all, you think the person who asked for advise is also lying to himself about what he or she felt for the other person? Everything you've been through before will just poof! Gone?

Oh now I see why there are lots of divorce in US. Coz people are like this. They are so looking for perfect relationship which in fact there is NONE.

If you want your relationship to last, you don't look for faults, you should learn to forgive and not be selfish. Okay she committed mistake now, how if you sent her back but the truth is she really loves you, she just can't let go of the other one coz maybe he's threatening him, why not talk to the lady first and figure out everything before you decide. Man these days are so egocentric that's why it's hard for them to stay in a relationship a lifetime.

[annaprice 17]

Well said

buwahaha, you are kidding right? geez you are being scammed, where is the love there? it is so funny, it's inhumane to scam somebody, so if you got scammed you still think it's mean to drop somebody off the consulate? think about it.

[jrmejia 31]

I don't think so. I agree with jrmejia. Because someone treats you like trash does not mean you have to act the same way. That is not acting like a man in my opinion. You have to be better than she is not the same. Get rid of her fine. But do it with class.

[annaprice 17]

I don't think so. I agree with jrmejia. Because someone treats you like trash does not mean you have to act the same way. That is not acting like a man in my opinion. You have to be better than she is not the same. Get rid of her fine. But do it with class.

really? You are being scammed, i don't think it's your responsibility to send his/her back. It is very alarming that a lot of people scams american guys because WHY? you just forgive and forget? forgive sure, but learn from it. What would you seriously get if you treat them nice? it wouldn't change the fact that they scammed you,lied to you and in the end who spent money? who look like an idiot? who had the CLASS to get rid of him/her? and what did you get? nothing but bitterness and hurt feelings.

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

There's no love? so after all those times they spent together chatting emailing and all, you think the person who asked for advise is also lying to himself about what he or she felt for the other person? Everything you've been through before will just poof! Gone?

You mean what they felt for someone who turned out to be lying to them all along? WHen you're dealing with a scammer you don't really get to know the person because they are putting up a false front, just lies. They'll say whatever they think the victim wants to hear.

LOVE requires honesty on both sides.

[mcdsnight 5]

really? You are being scammed, i don't think it's your responsibility to send his/her back. It is very alarming that a lot of people scams american guys because WHY? you just forgive and forget? forgive sure, but learn from it. What would you seriously get if you treat them nice? it wouldn't change the fact that they scammed you,lied to you and in the end who spent money? who look like an idiot? who had the CLASS to get rid of him/her? and what did you get? nothing but bitterness and hurt feelings.

This is the kind of love that boast and selfish. You only love yourself coz you think of yourself if you are gonna look like this or that.

To the person who wrote started this forum, how come after all we have said we never heard from you? Maybe an update of what's up would be nice you know.

[Tahoma 2,292]

Seriously, I wouldn't send her to Mexico either. I was trying to make the point that she is not required to return to the Philippines. She simply is required to leave the U.S. by the end of the 90 days.

Actually, I would drop her off today at the nearest shelter or social services agency and let her deal with finding her own way home. She should feel fortunate to get a ride that far. I would not have any legal nor moral obligation to assist her beyond that point.

I would also report her to ICE, change the locks on my doors, and take steps to protect my finances.

C'om dude have a heart. I just hope he does it like I would. The gentleman and respectable way.

My 2 cents

Judging from your posts, I'm certain you'll have your chance.

OK...I'll bite...I can hardly wait to hear your idea of the "gentleman" (sic) and "respectable" way to deal with a scammer who has stolen your money, your time, and your emotional energy.

And while you're at it, you might care to explain why your posts about your own fiancée have been so ungentlemanly and so disrespectful.

Just because we have few little arguments do not necessary means that our relationship will fail once she comes to USA. But if anything goes wrong, some action will be taken but in a gentle way. But that is me okay? I love her too much to "mistreat" her in any way!

Just my 2 cents.

Your powers of avoidance are amazing! First, you tell me how you would handle a scammer differently. Then, when challenged to explain yourself, you completely avoided the subject. What "action" would be taken? What "gentle way" would you use? How could you possibly love a thief who never loved you and only wanted to scam you? What kind of sick love is that? Would you treat someone who burglarized your home the same way?

You also completely avoided explaining your hypocritical behavior regarding your posts about your own fiancée. Do you think they were gentlemanly and respectful?

Simply amazing...

[annaprice 17]

There's no love? so after all those times they spent together chatting emailing and all, you think the person who asked for advise is also lying to himself about what he or she felt for the other person? Everything you've been through before will just poof! Gone?

Oh now I see why there are lots of divorce in US. Coz people are like this. They are so looking for perfect relationship which in fact there is NONE.

If you want your relationship to last, you don't look for faults, you should learn to forgive and not be selfish. Okay she committed mistake now, how if you sent her back but the truth is she really loves you, she just can't let go of the other one coz maybe he's threatening him, why not talk to the lady first and figure out everything before you decide. Man these days are so egocentric that's why it's hard for them to stay in a relationship a lifetime.

can understand english much huh? no love from the SCAMMER. seriously? are you some kinda martyr? for the love of God, she doesn't love you if she is cheating on you. there's divorce because of people who cant be faithful, a lot of divorce is caused by a cheating partner.

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

I don't think so. I agree with jrmejia. Because someone treats you like trash does not mean you have to act the same way. That is not acting like a man in my opinion. You have to be better than she is not the same. Get rid of her fine. But do it with class.

And just what is so bad about giving her a ride to the Philippine Consulate? If you think she'd go willingly then by all means be honest and tell her you're taking her there so she can get a ride home.

If you were scammed to bring her here then why would you feel obligated to pay more for a return ticket? I can understand if it's a case of this relationship just didn't work out then I would agree with paying her way back but if she's scamming you all along then never.

Do it gently, okay but still kick her to the curb and don't look back.

[jrmejia 31]

buwahaha, you are kidding right? geez you are being scammed, where is the love there? it is so funny, it's inhumane to scam somebody, so if you got scammed you still think it's mean to drop somebody off the consulate? think about it.

I am not saying your way is wrong or right. What I am trying to say is...RESPECT rules even when we are in agreement or uncomfortable with a situation. I know I let respect rules my life over anger. But that is just me.

My 2 cents.

Edited December 6, 2010 by jrmejia