What to do next?

[jandk 6]

1 Thing I did want to mention is that usually the RIGHT pinay would actually give 100% to the relationship. Tahoma hit it right when he said.. "Dont give up on filipina"

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

If I was the Kano in a situation like this I would not say a thing to her once I was sure of the situation, instead I would:

Plan an interesting trip with her that includes a stop at the nearest Philippine Consulate. Of course since you've told her you'll be gone for a week on this fantastic trip she'll likely pack most of her stuff (and you can sneak the rest of it into your car.

Once you get to the PH Consulate, explain to the first employee you meet that she has scammed you to get to the US and you will never marry her so under the rules of her K-1 Visa she must return home. State that since you've already spent a few thousand dollars on her you don't feel obligated to pay for a return ticket as she was lying to you the whole time.

Leave her there as you return to your car for her luggage. Once you've deposited her luggage with her, return home.

Now you can inform ICE of her scamming ways either before or after the drop-off to protect others from her ill intentions.

[mcdsnight 5]

If I was the Kano in a situation like this I would not say a thing to her once I was sure of the situation, instead I would:

Plan an interesting trip with her that includes a stop at the nearest Philippine Consulate. Of course since you've told her you'll be gone for a week on this fantastic trip she'll likely pack most of her stuff (and you can sneak the rest of it into your car.

Once you get to the PH Consulate, explain to the first employee you meet that she has scammed you to get to the US and you will never marry her so under the rules of her K-1 Visa she must return home. State that since you've already spent a few thousand dollars on her you don't feel obligated to pay for a return ticket as she was lying to you the whole time.

Leave her there as you return to your car for her luggage. Once you've deposited her luggage with her, return home.

Now you can inform ICE of her scamming ways either before or after the drop-off to protect others from her ill intentions.

that's mean

[mcdsnight 5]

Sorry to hear about this.

Yes you have all the reason to be mad with her, but I guess don't rush into sending her back to PH. Look, if there's one thing that's bad about facebook, it ruins relationship. I must say we do argue about it a whole bunch. Not because I'm cheating, but because of some stuff he sees there that isn't what he prefers to see. And vice versa. Okay she hid her facebook on you, I have 5 facebook account myself but we agreed that facebook is facebook, a social network.

About the text messages, did you check the dates when it was saved received? It might be from his ex. I bet you're wondering why is she keeping it? Let me tell you a story about my ex, he also kept text messages from his ex and it doesn't only say i love you but it even says how much she wants to have a baby with him. I confronted him and he said it doesn't mean anything, just that sometimes when things are rough with us some things that happened in the past boost his ego. I should admit I am not perfect, I bet you aren't too.

Instead of sending her back to PH, why not give it a shot for now. You weren't together when she was here, but now you have all the chance in the world to make her feel that you love her coz you love her not just coz you are willing to pay for her visa and all. Savor the time you have together and who knows at the end she will realize that you are really her prince if she's really cheating.

Show her you love her first. You haven't starting yet and you're already looking for holes. TRUST is a very important thing in a relationship. And if you are checking everything she does then it means you shouldn't be in a relationship.

[jrmejia 31]

Hello,

Very sad story. Lately, it is like an epidemic. Too many "cheating/lying" stories. But what if she learns to love you? Can

you give her a month or so to see if she grows up? Anything is possible.

my 2 cents.

[Canadiandggal 49]

After almost a year of submitting the K1 petition, my fiancee finally arrived from the Philippines yesterday. Great news right? Not quite. The first thing she did was ask where the computer was so she can go on the internet. I asked if she had a Facebook page and she said no but later on I stumbled on the history of websites visited and she actually did have a Facebook page and also a new email address. Her cellphone also had no signal even though her Globe sim card was suppose to be setup for roaming. I thought maybe there was no signal because the cellphone was not setup correctly for the right network. So I check her phone and I stumbled on her saved text messages which had whole bunch of I LOVE YOU messages ..the only thing is the messages wasn't for me or from me. So at this point, despite all the money I spent on getting her here, I can't marry a person who is lying to me all this time. Now do I have to tell immigration that I will not pursue marriage (fill out forms)...and she will probably go back to the Philippines? Because I know I signed an affidavit of support and I don't want to be liable for her anymore. Thanks for any suggestions.

Shes Only been there one day, call USCIS and ICE ASAP... I mean like monday morning because then her chances of VAWA is out the window. Im sorry that this has happened but its good that you found out so quickly

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

If I was the Kano in a situation like this I would not say a thing to her once I was sure of the situation, instead I would:

Plan an interesting trip with her that includes a stop at the nearest Philippine Consulate. Of course since you've told her you'll be gone for a week on this fantastic trip she'll likely pack most of her stuff (and you can sneak the rest of it into your car.

Once you get to the PH Consulate, explain to the first employee you meet that she has scammed you to get to the US and you will never marry her so under the rules of her K-1 Visa she must return home. State that since you've already spent a few thousand dollars on her you don't feel obligated to pay for a return ticket as she was lying to you the whole time.

Leave her there as you return to your car for her luggage. Once you've deposited her luggage with her, return home.

Now you can inform ICE of her scamming ways either before or after the drop-off to protect others from her ill intentions.

that's mean

What's so mean about it? She's already cost him how much? Why should anyone in his shoes feel obligated to spend more on a return ticket for her?

Maybe the humiliation of being dumped at the Consulate's doorstep will teach her something. Further if all Kanos who are scammed handle it this way maybe it would serve as fair warning to anyone thinking of scamming for a GreenCard.

[Gumbolette 58]

If I was the Kano in a situation like this I would not say a thing to her once I was sure of the situation, instead I would:

Plan an interesting trip with her that includes a stop at the nearest Philippine Consulate. Of course since you've told her you'll be gone for a week on this fantastic trip she'll likely pack most of her stuff (and you can sneak the rest of it into your car.

Once you get to the PH Consulate, explain to the first employee you meet that she has scammed you to get to the US and you will never marry her so under the rules of her K-1 Visa she must return home. State that since you've already spent a few thousand dollars on her you don't feel obligated to pay for a return ticket as she was lying to you the whole time.

Leave her there as you return to your car for her luggage. Once you've deposited her luggage with her, return home.

Now you can inform ICE of her scamming ways either before or after the drop-off to protect others from her ill intentions.

I couldn't agree more.

[DEDixon 39]

book her a flight without telling her then on the day of the flight pack all her sh$t... drive her to the airport, help her check her bags, escort her to the security checkpoint and watch her leave.

might just be me, but i'd rather be sure that she definitely leaves than disappears in the USA somewhere. be sure to stay at the checkpoint even though she has gone through it until her flight leaves.

surprise her with the trip to the airport so she doesn't have time to plan an escape.

[oldlipa 0]

why other filipina women did this to an american guy that proved themselves that they are serious to them,there are many filipina women here that are serious and have patiently waiting for the time they get approve to be with their love ones,your fiance doesnt have consience!!so do what the best thing to do,send her back to the philippines!

Charlize, Pinoy din ako pero dito ako lumaki sa States. Yung fiancee kapitbahay ng lola ko sa probinsya. So pag inuwi ko sya..ay naku..drama lang mangyayari. Bahala sya sa buhay nya!

[Tahoma 2,292]

What's so mean about it? She's already cost him how much? Why should anyone in his shoes feel obligated to spend more on a return ticket for her?

Maybe the humiliation of being dumped at the Consulate's doorstep will teach her something. Further if all Kanos who are scammed handle it this way maybe it would serve as fair warning to anyone thinking of scamming for a GreenCard.

Agreed!

Let's get something straight here: the woman is a liar, a cheater, and a scammer who didn't give a second thought about breaking his heart; she is dishonest and untrustworthy; she's a user whose actions were cold, cruel, and calculated. He is the innocent victim of her scam. Why should he be obligated to pay her way back to the Philippines, or anywhere else for that matter? Would you pay the attorney fees, the court costs, and the jail costs of someone who robbed you? I think not.

He is under no legal nor moral obligation to do anything for her. He should leave her suitcase on the sidewalk. She should consider herself lucky if he provides her a way to get to the nearest Philippines Consulate. If that is considered to be "mean," so what! It pales in comparison to what she's done to him. She can only blame herself because she brought it upon herself.

I hope he reports her to ICE and she is permanently banned from entering the United States. Good riddance to bad trash!

[Jared and May 16]

We've had a recent string of these haven't we?

[oldlipa 0]

Sorry to hear about this.

Yes you have all the reason to be mad with her, but I guess don't rush into sending her back to PH. Look, if there's one thing that's bad about facebook, it ruins relationship. I must say we do argue about it a whole bunch. Not because I'm cheating, but because of some stuff he sees there that isn't what he prefers to see. And vice versa. Okay she hid her facebook on you, I have 5 facebook account myself but we agreed that facebook is facebook, a social network.

About the text messages, did you check the dates when it was saved received? It might be from his ex. I bet you're wondering why is she keeping it? Let me tell you a story about my ex, he also kept text messages from his ex and it doesn't only say i love you but it even says how much she wants to have a baby with him. I confronted him and he said it doesn't mean anything, just that sometimes when things are rough with us some things that happened in the past boost his ego. I should admit I am not perfect, I bet you aren't too.

Instead of sending her back to PH, why not give it a shot for now. You weren't together when she was here, but now you have all the chance in the world to make her feel that you love her coz you love her not just coz you are willing to pay for her visa and all. Savor the time you have together and who knows at the end she will realize that you are really her prince if she's really cheating.

Show her you love her first. You haven't starting yet and you're already looking for holes. TRUST is a very important thing in a relationship. And if you are checking everything she does then it means you shouldn't be in a relationship.

Thanks for your suggestions. The only thing is there is more to this. I've known her for more than 10 years. She lives next door to my grandmother's house in the Philippines. Now of course during a long distance relationship there will be miscommunication, arguments, breakups, get-togethers. We've taken trips to Hong Kong and Macau the past few years. I've paid for her medical bills when she was in the hospital including her asthma medicine which delayed her interview back 2 months. And I admit after all this, I've been taken as a fool. That's why it needs to end. BTW, the texts messages were from her and the other party dated last Friday Dec 3, the same day she left the Philippines.

[A and T 82]

Thanks for your suggestions. The only thing is there is more to this. I've known her for more than 10 years. She lives next door to my grandmother's house in the Philippines. Now of course during a long distance relationship there will be miscommunication, arguments, breakups, get-togethers. We've taken trips to Hong Kong and Macau the past few years. I've paid for her medical bills when she was in the hospital including her asthma medicine which delayed her interview back 2 months. And I admit after all this, I've been taken as a fool. That's why it needs to end. BTW, the texts messages were from her and the other party dated last Friday Dec 3, the same day she left the Philippines.

It sounds like you have done so much for her, only for her to abuse it. I say send her packing , its clear she knew you were a nice person willing to help her and she took advantage of you. If you don't send her back then she will just continue to use you

[Dan and Judy 614]

What's so mean about it? She's already cost him how much? Why should anyone in his shoes feel obligated to spend more on a return ticket for her?

Maybe the humiliation of being dumped at the Consulate's doorstep will teach her something. Further if all Kanos who are scammed handle it this way maybe it would serve as fair warning to anyone thinking of scamming for a GreenCard.

It's very mean, mean to the Philippines consulate; seriously I don't think the consulate would consider it their problem.

Some people seem to be worried that she will just stay in the states illegally, thereby profiting from the scam. The consulate

wouldnt make her leave.

The OP wrote a msg in tagalog that seems to say that He is a philippino who grew up here in the states and I think his relatives are

neighbors of her relatives back in PI. If that's the case then he needs to proceed with caution for the sake of his realatives.

It's a legitimate point that the text msg could be old and all the OP told us was they said I love you. Lying about having a facebook account does not by itself justify putting her on a plane tomorrow.

back to being mean though, If he decided %100 that he was being scammed from the get go, and he has any worries about her making up charges of abuse. The solution is to take her for a drive into mexico. The mexican's dont stop you on the way in.

Once they are in mexico the dirty deed is done. The americans won't let her back in. He could buy her a

ticket on the mexican airlines back to PI. Once in that situation she would happily get on the plane. Here in the states I don't think

you can force them on to the plane.

I seriously hesitate to post this because it could also be used by some jerk here who has simply changed his mind, but it is such a good solution for the flat out scammers. If you would for instance find an email saying she was going to divorce you and bring her

boyfriend over here at the first opportuinity, Then I say a mexican vacation is appropriate, and skip the plane ticket to PI.

Now that's mean.

What the heck is a Kano