Age Difference

[Boiler 45,519]

This is a very judgmental, uncalled for assumption.

Judgmental - yes

Uncalled for, not so sure.

As an older male myself, let's be realistic, if this lady was here in the US chances are she would not give him the time of day.

It is a trade, to ignore the issues would be nieve.

[Penny Lane 8,159]

Judgmental - yes

Uncalled for, not so sure.

As an older male myself, let's be realistic, if this lady was here in the US chances are she would not give him the time of day.

It is a trade, to ignore the issues would be nieve.

To come out and tell someone they will have problems in their relationship (a relationship nobody here except the OP knows anything about) is very uncalled for.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Judgmental - yes

Uncalled for, not so sure.

As an older male myself, let's be realistic, if this lady was here in the US chances are she would not give him the time of day.

It is a trade, to ignore the issues would be nieve.

As far as beintg a problem for the visa in Kiev...not likely. As far as being a problem in the realtionship? Who knows. I can assure you my wife would not give me the time of day if she were an American woman simply because I would not meet her very superficial American standards for a husband. Ukrainians and FSU women value lasting qualities over shiny objects and "bling". Pretty astute if you ask me. Why is an average guy like me going places with the hottest chick in the room? Because to a Ukrainian woman an average guy that makes a decent living, cares about his wife and children and provides a safe and "quiet" home is pretty much like finding GOLD. If he can build a shelf and fix a leaky faucet his is worth 3 tons of gold. They do not care what kind of car you have (they never had a car at all) or how big your TV screen is because they think TV is a waste of time.

While the age difference in this case is more than usual, most FSU women prefer older men, that is nothing new, and with good reason. They know what your bad habits are and can decide if they want to live with them. You can call them golddiggers or you can say they are trying to make the best situation for their children. I figure everyone gets something out of a relationship, or why be in a relationship, so there is nothing worng per se with a woman looking for a secure future for her family. She plans to provide for the care and feeding of them, she needs a husband to do the man's part of the job. A guy in his 40s or 50s that doesn;t have a driniking problem and is in the peak of his career is a pretty good catch. They don't care that he doesn't have as much hair, rock-hard abs or other useless features.

That said, the chances of meeting a sincere woman with traditional values in Ukraine or Russia diminishes expotentially with age. Women that were not raised and educated in the Soviet Union do not have the same values, generally, as those that were. I'll put Alla's borscht up against a 25 year old's any day!

We associate with a group of 9 local Amer/RUB couples/friends of which the smallest age difference is 7 years and the largest is 30 years. Most are in the 10-15 range. As far as I call tell, all the couples are happy.

At any rate, the consulate couldn't care less if you have a successful marriage, they only care that the relationship is not for the purpose of circumventing immigration laws. The age difference itself, in Kiev will not be a red flag in itself. I cannot comment on other parts of the relationship.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

To come out and tell someone they will have problems in their relationship (a relationship nobody here except the OP knows anything about) is very uncalled for.

Myself I am pretty tired of people that can only contribute criticism of other members and give nothing to the OP. Do these types troll the forums looking for people to scold? Do they wag cyber fingers at us?

Unless you have pretty broad experience, like say Pushbrk, or pretty specific experience with that consulate, then about all you can do is guess...or criticize others.

So there is my criticism (AFTER providing an answer)

[Dan and Judy 614]

While I appreciate the concern, if her intent was to find gold I'm sure she could do better. Like Mark Twain said, "Everything has its limit - iron ore cannot be educated into gold".

1. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

Mark Twain

Don't kid yourself, she struck gold. There are probably 10 women who want to come for every man who is adventurous enough to petition for them.

2 .if this lady was here in the US chances are she would not give him the time of day.

It is a trade, to ignore the issues would be nieve.

Boiler

3. I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way.

Mark Twain

I'm 52, divorced, decent job, average looking. I was in a Mcdonald's a while back sitting off by myself and minding my own business. One of the girls was cleaning the dining room and started talking to me, telling me her troubles and what not. After a while I got the impression she was hitting on me. She was in her early 20's and had a baby and no man. She is the one who struck up the conversation. I rationalized that maybe she was hitting on me because I appeared to be financialy stable. Any way I played the good listener and told her a little bit about myself. Very low key flirting no inuendos or anything like that. She went back to work and so did I. I left thinking that may have been the start of a relationship (though I realy have no desire to start raising a baby). She was no raving beauty but I was flattered that she was interested in me.

Boy what a difference a day makes, The next day I went in (I do love Mcdonalds) and I guess she had time to figure out what I was thinking. She was almost visibly shaking, she was working the cash register but someone else had to

wait on me. She made me feel like like a child molester. Boy, that's an ego buster. I did nothing but return conversation to this girl. The reason she was talking to me was she was just killing time and I was soooo old that I couldnt possibly take it the wrong way. OUCH!!

When I signed up for a filipino dating website, and put my picture and pertinent information, I was being contacted by women from 18 to 55. There is nothing ambivielent about what they want. There were plenty that were a lot better looking than the girl in Mcdonalds and they would be thrilled to marry an old man in the states, The simple reason for difference is poverty. You can throw a little culture in there.

There are plenty of scammers out there.

4. The lack of money is the root of all evil.

Mark Twain

I believe most of the girls are honest and sincere.

　

5. "It's just as easy to fall in love with a "rich" American as a 'poor' Filipino"

Mark Twain (just kidding)

"Just because they get financial security and we get younger prettier girls than we can in the states dosnt mean you can't find your "Soul Mate"

Me (realy, I just made that up all by myself)

　

Let me close with another quote from the master

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

Mark Twain

　

Good luck Dan

[Boiler 45,519]

Nice one

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

1. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

Mark Twain

Don't kid yourself, she struck gold. There are probably 10 women who want to come for every man who is adventurous enough to petition for them.

2 .if this lady was here in the US chances are she would not give him the time of day.

It is a trade, to ignore the issues would be nieve.

Boiler

3. I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way.

Mark Twain

I'm 52, divorced, decent job, average looking. I was in a Mcdonald's a while back sitting off by myself and minding my own business. One of the girls was cleaning the dining room and started talking to me, telling me her troubles and what not. After a while I got the impression she was hitting on me. She was in her early 20's and had a baby and no man. She is the one who struck up the conversation. I rationalized that maybe she was hitting on me because I appeared to be financialy stable. Any way I played the good listener and told her a little bit about myself. Very low key flirting no inuendos or anything like that. She went back to work and so did I. I left thinking that may have been the start of a relationship (though I realy have no desire to start raising a baby). She was no raving beauty but I was flattered that she was interested in me.

Boy what a difference a day makes, The next day I went in (I do love Mcdonalds) and I guess she had time to figure out what I was thinking. She was almost visibly shaking, she was working the cash register but someone else had to

wait on me. She made me feel like like a child molester. Boy, that's an ego buster. I did nothing but return conversation to this girl. The reason she was talking to me was she was just killing time and I was soooo old that I couldnt possibly take it the wrong way. OUCH!!

When I signed up for a filipino dating website, and put my picture and pertinent information, I was being contacted by women from 18 to 55. There is nothing ambivielent about what they want. There were plenty that were a lot better looking than the girl in Mcdonalds and they would be thrilled to marry an old man in the states, The simple reason for difference is poverty. You can throw a little culture in there.

There are plenty of scammers out there.

4. The lack of money is the root of all evil.

Mark Twain

I believe most of the girls are honest and sincere.

　

5. "It's just as easy to fall in love with a "rich" American as a 'poor' Filipino"

Mark Twain (just kidding)

"Just because they get financial security and we get younger prettier girls than we can in the states dosnt mean you can't find your "Soul Mate"

Me (realy, I just made that up all by myself)

　

Let me close with another quote from the master

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

Mark Twain

　

Good luck Dan

In Ukraine the young woman would have been sincere and interested. I also agree that most of them are sincere. Yes, there are some scammers. I think less than there are here, though, all things considered. For all that, I made a decision not to seek out a younger woman, or I should say "much younger woman" just because in the time I spent in Ukraine I felt that the more mature women, closer to my age, were more compatible with me. That's all. I can't make that decision for someone else.

I was divorced with two grown children. I thought that I seemed to have more in common with women that had also raised children and either had grown children or at least teenagers. That's the level of energy and interest I can best provide for and what I am more comfortable with (and I love children, don't get me wrong, I consider the two boys a major bonus!)I also foud that women that had raised children had more of the attitude that appealed to me, less about themselves and more about family and anyone that knows me will tell you that is what I am about.

But anyway, I certainly wish everyone luck and make no judgements. You are both over 18 that is all that matters.

[And_Sam 44]

Well said Dan, and I am not even a man

[Milushka 22]

i had a poll among women of different ages, not surprisingly all of them stated unless its for money/security/benefits they wouldnt engage themself with others older than their parents. Dont be tricked, thats all. Maybe in traditional Asia it wouldnt bring much of attention, but in here (Ukraine/Russia) its extremely uncommon, i repeat.

Yes Charlie Chaplin had a wife of 18 at the age of 58, but i rather remember him for his play.

This is a very judgmental, uncalled for assumption

Maybe, but why to be blind to the red flags popping out, plus as the holder of the common culture I believe its for good to bring the shadow of the doubt.

[PrestoMN 4]

Thank you to everyone who answererd the question posed here.

For those that had a strong need to babble about their opionions about my relationship without ever having met Arina or me, know nothing of our backgrounds, have never seen us together ... well ... thanks to you too

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

i had a poll among women of different ages, not surprisingly all of them stated unless its for money/security/benefits they wouldnt engage themself with others older than their parents. Dont be tricked, thats all. Maybe in traditional Asia it wouldnt bring much of attention, but in here (Ukraine/Russia) its extremely uncommon, i repeat.

Yes Charlie Chaplin had a wife of 18 at the age of 58, but i rather remember him for his play.

Maybe, but why to be blind to the red flags popping out, plus as the holder of the common culture I believe its for good to bring the shadow of the doubt.

I believe you are right. I think most women in Russia/Ukraine do not marry men "older than their parents". However, money/security/benefits should not be ruled out as legitmate and sincere reasons to want to share life with someone. Ask them if they would even flinch at marrying a man 10 years older, I bet they will all say "no". 15 years? 85% will say it is OK, maybe more. 20 years +. The percent will drop but will stil be far higher than you would find in the US.

Ask another poll...how many of you would marry a good looking young man (same age or close to it) that had little hope of providing money/security/benefits? I also had lots of conversations with Ukrainian women and found they were all attracted to men older than them (not to say there isn't a Ukrainian that likes younger men, but she would be a rarity) as they were more likely to be secure/beneficial. Nothing wrong with that. If a young woman is perfectly happy with an older man because he has money and gives security and benefits to her, and the older man is happy because he has a hot wife that gives him fantasy sex...who's to say that is wrong for either or insincere? If the younger woman stays with her husband until he dies, most likely well before her, where has this gone wrong?

[SuperDuper! 230]

Could be if he is 40!

Probably not is he is 70.

I am assuming a he, you could be the first and be a she.

Boiler, shame on you for lessening your credibility for implying that an adult would petition a 12 year old child. Absurd is the word. Your age relativity argument is well taken, but really, you ought to also be proclaiming that water is wet. So, hello Captain obvious.

BOING!

[Elizabeth-Yuniel 0]

IT SHOULD NOT BE A PROBLEM, AS LONG AS U GUYS ARE IN LOVE...

[Dan and Judy 614]

IT SHOULD NOT BE A PROBLEM, AS LONG AS U GUYS ARE IN LOVE...

Are you talking to the OP or Boing and Boiler?

[SuperDuper! 230]

Are you talking to the OP or Boing and Boiler?

He is speaking to the OP, but just include a cc: to the Boiler, just to hammer the msg home!