Attitude Adjustment !

[patient2010 93]

I so agree with u Tero. I have had to call a few people out myself on being rude to others

[Angeli 5]

AGREE!

Most people have been very helpful but some are just too much, you know. They seemed all-knowing and always include sarcastic comments that are not needed to be expressed in the very first place. Opinions vary and if yours doesn't agree with the others, please put it nicely and in a proper way because this website is not all about competing who's better and right but helping each other.

[Tero 105]

I remember when our first petition was denied because Joseph couldn't reveal facts about my classified job some of the most hurtfull comments came from a sub sarahan member who had had an easy path through the interview. How USCIS knew who had real relationships and who were fake. ( and that was the nice part of her comments calling me mentally unstable and other unkind things in one post) It turned out that hers was the fake relationship and she is no longer here, after she was here gathering her pound of pity ( none from me ) when her husband vanished to parts unknown. Just remember that the embassy diesn't know all and that those that want to misusse the system are apt to do their homework very well and will learn from others of the same cloth how to fool the system to get their way while real couples in telling the absolute truth may not have the perfect answers to get the prise the first time through.

As they say; what goes around comes around. Every heartless individual will get his/hers. Look at you now, you've been helping others!

[Tero 105]

I'm very pleased you've broached this subject, Tero. We are very privileged to have this website and forum, as it is a wealth of information and emotional support at a time when things in life are uncertain and difficult. Many posts to the forum are extremely personal and fragile, perhaps things we would usually not tell a stranger, but things only people going through the same process can understand.

In this age of detachment we often forget there are people on the other end of the internet, real people to whom their problems are devastating. If you can't help a person with their issue, and don't feel able to give them a supporting word, zip your lip and move on to a different subject. As you say, we are all adults, we are responsible for our choices and endeavors, let's all treat each other with the respect we deserve.

Thanks. Imagine what this whole visa process would have been like without this site. Yet, some feel like they have nothing else to learn but a whole lot of garbage to dish out to the depressed and confused. It is important people learn to take a second and remember that it is not just another set of keyboards that are at the other end.

[Double O 0]

Thank you so much for saying this. We all need to stay positive and support each other.

[moroccogirlny 100]

Great topic

[Tero 105]

AGREE!

Most people have been very helpful but some are just too much, you know. They seemed all-knowing and always include sarcastic comments that are not needed to be expressed in the very first place. Opinions vary and if yours doesn't agree with the others, please put it nicely and in a proper way because this website is not all about competing who's better and right but helping each other.

I have had an encounter where I tried to make a participant see a bigger picture and open his mind to some realities of some situations and all I got was some derogatory replies. Once I sensed it was heating up with incoming words like "STUPID" and stuff, I had to keep quiet. Some just want to impose and dominate! Wonder what they'll be like if they were consulate officers

[Tero 105]

Thank you so much for saying this. We all need to stay positive and support each other.

We all wish you good luck. Don't hesitate to ask if you have any questions. There are always many knowledgeable and respectful people here to help.

[sheenaspapi 18]

Your oh so correct. I have experienced a known few here that I think reply to posts for no other reason than to stroke themselves. Thier ego is so big that every answer they provide is cynical and arrogant.

I do not understand why the VJ moderators do not suspend or ban these people from here.

[Angeli 5]

I have had an encounter where I tried to make a participant see a bigger picture and open his mind to some realities of some situations and all I got was some derogatory replies. Once I sensed it was heating up with incoming words like "STUPID" and stuff, I had to keep quiet. Some just want to impose and dominate! Wonder what they'll be like if they were consulate officers

HA! They will be a LOT worst than that famous Asian Lady

[DarlingNikki 7]

I have seen many people come on this site feeling helpless after a heartbreaking disappointment either from a denied petition, complications, or just trying to prepare for what’s ahead. In their quest for directions, I have observed people kick them while they were down. I have observed mockery. I have observed sarcasm with disrespectful intentions. I have observed bullies and I have observed disrespectful tones either in response to the OP or a participant’s comment.

Just before you make a comment, bear in mind this site is rich in diversity, and you can’t use your own cultural exposure to judge others’.

It is ok to introduce some humor but let it be to cheer up the OP/participant(s) and not to mock. If you have nothing respectfully constructively to say, please, don’t waste your time commenting. We are all adults already married or about to, so, please, show some class.

It is ok to disagree as there are always different perspectives to an issue. If you want to hide behind your computer and be rude …take that sh*t somewhere else where you can “freelance” as much as you want.

Adjust that Attitude! A bunch of words is more than enough for the wise!

Great topic OP. Unfortunately, individuals seem to forget that they were once in the same position as many who have questions. Then, because their process is completed and went smoothly, anyone else whose process doesnt mimick theirs, must have done something wrong. Anywho... I'm glad these words have been said. It wont change many, but hopefuly, it'll get through to a few cold souls. Ciao all. Happy filing.

[GhLove 4]

100% Agreed! I am happy you brought this topic up as well. From the rude remarks I've encountered, it usually seems to be some of the people who have already gone through the process and "know it all" now. I don't think it's so much the difference of opinion that's hurtful, but the inappropriate manner in which they say things (sacarsam, insults, etc). I wonder what their attitude is like in real life... And I just always pray for them. Must have seen some pretty hard times to be so bitter! I mean why would you even comment, unconstrunctively, on something you were done with 5 years ago? It's kinda sad to me. Thanks for bringing this up. We are here to help each other, not intentially tear each other down.

[HappyRs 8]

thumbs up for this topic! it was so needed!

[TBoneTX 45,663]

The seemingly arrogant or insensitive posters can be irritating, surely. Some people need to edit twice (at least) and then post once. However, the following sorts of posters are dangerous with their advice and need to be slapped down, thoroughly and promptly:

-- Those who flatly post "You do not need a lawyer!" when they do not and cannot know the full scope or crucial details of another poster's situation -- whether this be objective immigration factors or someone's ability to read accurately, interpret literally, and answer completely & truthfully.

-- Those who sweepingly post "You do not need to include any of X, Y, or Z information about your relationship when you file your K-1 or CR-1 petition, because USCIS does not care!" when the third-world consulate down the road surely will care, whether this is clear to any of us here right now. USCIS passes what it receives to the consulate, and the COs can form their impressions (and sometimes make their decisions) on the basis of what's in the file, pre-visa interview.

-- Those who blithely post "You will have no problems traveling with the use of your Advance Parole!" when they can't know whether the user of the AP document has any background issue that could lead to detention or to denial of re-entry upon presentation at POE.

-- Those who speculate with "I think..." when what's needed is "This is what the rules/procedures actually say." Some of this speculation can be as worthy as firing your gun up into the air and hoping to hit a duck that's flying overhead right about then.

-- Those who post wildly inaccurate information and become offended when someone with the correct information contradicts the incorrect information. As a very wise, long-time VJ poster has observed, the issue of "offense" becomes irrelevant when the success or failure of an individual's immigration journey relies upon receiving accurate information on which to act.

-- In general, those who dismiss or downplay calls for a thorough, conservative, cautious, base-covering approach to the immigration process.

Si, man?

[keysjangle 145]

I think a lot of posters forget that English is not everyone's first language. Sometimes, the same thing has to be explained in a couple different ways for someone else to grasp it. That's no one's fault, it's just how it works. Either you want to help or you don't. I agree with this thread and I'm glad it was posted. This isn't the kind of place where being belittled should be accepted If you want to be a d*ck, realize that not a single person appreciates it, and it doesn't make you look smart, dignified, or respectful. Take it somewhere else.