Attitude Adjustment !

[Naijabound 1]

I have seen many people come on this site feeling helpless after a heartbreaking disappointment either from a denied petition, complications, or just trying to prepare for whats ahead. In their quest for directions, I have observed people kick them while they were down. I have observed mockery. I have observed sarcasm with disrespectful intentions. I have observed bullies and I have observed disrespectful tones either in response to the OP or a participants comment.

Just before you make a comment, bear in mind this site is rich in diversity, and you cant use your own cultural exposure to judge others.

It is ok to introduce some humor but let it be to cheer up the OP/participant(s) and not to mock. If you have nothing respectfully constructively to say, please, dont waste your time commenting. We are all adults already married or about to, so, please, show some class.

It is ok to disagree as there are always different perspectives to an issue. If you want to hide behind your computer and be rude …take that sh*t somewhere else where you can freelance as much as you want.

Adjust that Attitude! A bunch of words is more than enough for the wise!

Can I get a

AMEN!

Edited December 2, 2010 by Naijabound

[Mariye & Ky 172]

Thank YOU Tero for writing that! Well said. We are just starting out in the process and I love the support this site gives everyone. Definitely invaluable for so many as the system (forms, waiting time, interviews, etc), can be very confusing and at times frustrating! God Bless All the Couples who wait patiently for their husbands or wives to be with them.

[thelastpetitioner 218]

completely disagree,this is the internet,the words mean what you want them to mean.this process is cold,COs and USCIS employees are heartless and dont care about your emotional attachment,just like most of the members,if you cant handle E-outspoken people,then you most likely wont be able to handle the hardship you go through during this process.

[jennie ann 15]

completely disagree,this is the internet,the words mean what you want them to mean.this process is cold,COs and USCIS employees are heartless and dont care about your emotional attachment,just like most of the members,if you cant handle E-outspoken people,then you most likely wont be able to handle the hardship you go through during this process.

Yes, this is the internet, and people are allowed to say what they want. And yes, we will be dealing with cold, callous individuals throughout this process. However, we come here so that we can be prepared to deal with those people, not so we can practice dealing with them.

It's wonderful when people can share their wealth of knowledge and experience, but it's never necessary to be aggressive and condescending.

[Luckywife2007 6]

Yes, this is the internet, and people are allowed to say what they want. And yes, we will be dealing with cold, callous individuals throughout this process. However, we come here so that we can be prepared to deal with those people, not so we can practice dealing with them.

It's wonderful when people can share their wealth of knowledge and experience, but it's never necessary to be aggressive and condescending.

AMEN to this!

[thelastpetitioner 218]

Yes, this is the internet, and people are allowed to say what they want. And yes, we will be dealing with cold, callous individuals throughout this process. However, we come here so that we can be prepared to deal with those people, not so we can practice dealing with them.

It's wonderful when people can share their wealth of knowledge and experience, but it's never necessary to be aggressive and condescending.

honestly i appreciate the amount of support i receive here,but i dont demand it and i dont plan my life around it.

i know who OP is talking about ( a couple of people actually ) but even those bitter pricks throw in good information while being negative and buttholes,and thats the whole point of this website,everything else is just a bonus.

[keysjangle 145]

What ever happened to just being nice?

[jennie ann 15]

honestly i appreciate the amount of support i receive here,but i dont demand it and i dont plan my life around it.

i know who OP is talking about ( a couple of people actually ) but even those bitter pricks throw in good information while being negative and buttholes,and thats the whole point of this website,everything else is just a bonus.

Haha, your post made me laugh, and I have to say that I kind of agree with you here. We can't expect to be babied, and there's nothing we can do to change the way those people are. It's just the nature of these forums (and life, I suppose). Whenever I see the kinds of posts that the OP is referring to, I usually just think "What a douche" and move on. But I understand the OP's sentiments, and it's just nice to have a good rant every once in a while.

[joe_robin66 6]

Thanks for saying what was on you mind, Tero!! We all need to stick together and support each other, we are all here for the same reason!

Robin

[VanessaTony 3,567]

** moved from "K1 Process & Procedures" to "Site Discussion" as this isn't a K1 process qn but a statement about the site & it's members **

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Thank you Tero, an excellent post and on a topic I also feel is very important.

Visa Journey is supposed to be an experiential site where we can assist and support each other as we go through the various immigration processes. Assistance and support can be as straightforward as providing the necessary information to a specific question or as comprehensive as compassionate sharing when things go wrong.

Even if a question has been asked on this site a hundred times, it still deserves to be treated with respect, as does the poster. There are ways of saying kindly 'that information has been posted before . . you can find it in the Guides' rather than lambasting someone because they didn't check there first. There are also kind ways of offering advice about how to proceed in tricky circumstances. Judgmental, insulting and insensitive comments do not help, even if the poster is obviously unaware of legal liabilities of their question or the information they seek.

Some people do seem to feel that because they have been through the process and answered the questions before that it gives them some sort of right to dump on those who are now going through the process. Some personalities are very blunt but you can be blunt without being hurtful. If someone cannot offer something useful in a respectful and polite way then it is better for them not to participate in the conversation.

For those of you new to Visa Journey, there are Terms of Service that all members are supposed to follow and by signing up as a member on this site, you agree to abide by them. If anyone feels that someone is being abusive, insulting, unnecessarily judgmental or mean-spirited, please use the 'report' button that you will find at the bottom left of every post and state the problem. The moderators will take a look and see if the TOS have indeed been violated and if a warning posted in a thread will help get things back on track. We don't 'patrol' the forums, so unless we stumble upon something ourselves we don't know about it unless someone has reported it.

Again, Tero, thank you for an excellent post.

Edited December 2, 2010 by Kathryn41

[Tero 105]

completely disagree,this is the internet,the words mean what you want them to mean.this process is cold,COs and USCIS employees are heartless and dont care about your emotional attachment,just like most of the members,if you cant handle E-outspoken people,then you most likely wont be able to handle the hardship you go through during this process.

I respect the honest disagreement. Read your post once again in response to the OP and others that support it. You have completely disagreed but did that in a mature way. You gave it out straight without insulting/commanding/belittling anyone. That is what we are talking about....it's ok to disagree! While you are at it, this is not a boot-camp. You also said "this is the internet" like what you can't say face to face is right to say on here. I am sure this site was intended to help not bash. That said, If you want to give me water because I'm thirsty, why splash it on my face? If you want to feed me because I'm hungry, why toss it on the ground for me when you wouldn't do that to your dog?

[Tero 105]

Thank you Tero, an excellent post and on a topic I also feel is very important.

Visa Journey is supposed to be an experiential site where we can assist and support each other as we go through the various immigration processes. Assistance and support can be as straightforward as providing the necessary information to a specific question or as comprehensive as compassionate sharing when things go wrong.

Even if a question has been asked on this site a hundred times, it still deserves to be treated with respect, as does the poster. There are ways of saying kindly 'that information has been posted before . . you can find it in the Guides' rather than lambasting someone because they didn't check there first. There are also kind ways of offering advice about how to proceed in tricky circumstances. Judgmental, insulting and insensitive comments do not help, even if the poster is obviously unaware of legal liabilities of their question or the information they seek.

Some people do seem to feel that because they have been through the process and answered the questions before that it gives them some sort of right to dump on those who are now going through the process. Some personalities are very blunt but you can be blunt without being hurtful. If someone cannot offer something useful in a respectful and polite way then it is better for them not to participate in the conversation.

For those of you new to Visa Journey, there are Terms of Service that all members are supposed to follow and by signing up as a member on this site, you agree to abide by them. If anyone feels that someone is being abusive, insulting, unnecessarily judgmental or mean-spirited, please use the 'report' button that you will find at the bottom left of every post and state the problem. The moderators will take a look and see if the TOS have indeed been violated and if a warning posted in a thread will help get things back on track. We don't 'patrol' the forums, so unless we stumble upon something ourselves we don't know about it unless someone has reported it.

Again, Tero, thank you for an excellent post.

We all appreciate the support Kathryn.

[pepper 34]

I have seen many people come on this site feeling helpless after a heartbreaking disappointment either from a denied petition, complications, or just trying to prepare for what's ahead. In their quest for directions, I have observed people kick them while they were down. I have observed mockery. I have observed sarcasm with disrespectful intentions. I have observed bullies and I have observed disrespectful tones either in response to the OP or a participant's comment.

Just before you make a comment, bear in mind this site is rich in diversity, and you can't use your own cultural exposure to judge others'.

It is ok to introduce some humor but let it be to cheer up the OP/participant(s) and not to mock. If you have nothing respectfully constructively to say, please, don't waste your time commenting. We are all adults already married or about to, so, please, show some class.

It is ok to disagree as there are always different perspectives to an issue. If you want to hide behind your computer and be rude …take that sh*t somewhere else where you can "freelance" as much as you want.

Adjust that Attitude! A bunch of words is more than enough for the wise!

I couldn't have said it better myself.Lots of people come here for help from experienced members and they dont need those unpleasant and sarcastic jibes.They knew their limitations and wanted more detailed help from someone who could provide it. Often in doing so we solicit more informed responses, and discussions which is useful all around.

Great post Tero!

[Angeli 5]

What ever happened to just being nice?

I asked that same question before.