Man arrested after ejaculating during TSA pat-down

[one...two...tree 2,762]

A 47 year old gay man was arrested at San Francisco International Airport after ejaculating while being patted down by a male TSA agent. Percy Cummings, an interior designer from San Francisco, is being held without bail after the alleged incident, charged with sexually assaulting a Federal agent.

According to Cummings' partner, Sergio Armani, Cummings has "multiple piercings on his manhood" which were detected during a full body scan. As a result, Cummings was pulled aside for a pat-down. Armani stated that the unidentified TSA agent spent "an inordinate amount of time groping" Cummings, who had apparently become sexually aroused. Cummings, who has a history of sexual dysfunction, ejaculated while the TSA agent's hand was feeling the piercings. The TSA agent, according to several witnesses, promptly called for back up. Cummings was thrown to the ground and handcuffed.

A TSA spokesperson declined to comment on this specifc case, but said that anyone ejaculating during a pat-down would be subject to arrest.

http://www.deadseriousnews.com/?p=573

[spookyturtle 9,466]

I call bs. Why would the TSA guy keep patting it after it got hard? And I doubt that there is any law against ejaculating during a pat down. They both must be gay.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Seems to me the 'assault' was going the other way if the inordinate amount of groping by the TSA official led to the situation of the person being groped ejaculating . . .

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edited to add:

ok , checked into it - DeadSeriousNews is like the Onion - a satire newspaper. Good story, though!

Edited November 30, 2010 by Kathryn41

[spookyturtle 9,466]

I think Steven made this up.

[scandal 951]

I think Steven made this up.

He did not. Dead Serious News made it up. Geez, just follow the link in the story, it's there for a reason.

http://www.deadseriousnews.com/?page_id=2

Dead Serious News

The world's only dead serious news source

Dead Serious News is a satirical website that is updated on an irregular basis. With the exception of the names of public figures, all names are fictional.

[luckytxn 2,264]

Had to happen sooner or later.

[spookyturtle 9,466]

He did not. Dead Serious News made it up. Geez, just follow the link in the story, it's there for a reason.

http://www.deadseriousnews.com/?page_id=2

Steven made up deadseriousnews. He's very sneaky.

[^_^ 5,021]

Had to happen sooner or later.

lol

[Amby 490]

I lol'd

[spookyturtle 9,466]

I lol'd

I got wood.

[scandal 951]

Steven made up deadseriousnews. He's very sneaky.

He is sneaky. Most Obama loving Socialists are.

[Amby 490]

I got wood.

I lol'd at that too

[spookyturtle 9,466]

I lol'd at that too

How did the gay TSA guy know the gay passenger ejaculated?

[Amby 490]

How did the gay TSA guy know the gay passenger ejaculated?

you know how fast that stuff flies out?

[spookyturtle 9,466]

you know how fast that stuff flies out?

He had it out of his pants?