Name change after getting married

[ScottThuy 140]

Now that we have gotten married, I am finding it difficult to wrap my head around the name change situation/process... It may just be a Florida thing, but the clerk of court told us that when we got married her name stays the same until we send her passport to the embassy to get it changed or change it with the SSA... help me out with this one... She said she has no problem keeping the name the same or changing it... what did others from VN do?

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Now that we have gotten married, I am finding it difficult to wrap my head around the name change situation/process... It may just be a Florida thing, but the clerk of court told us that when we got married her name stays the same until we send her passport to the embassy to get it changed or change it with the SSA... help me out with this one... She said she has no problem keeping the name the same or changing it... what did others from VN do?

I'm not from VN but here's info anyway...

The clerk of courts is correct. Currently you wife has her choice of name. If she elects to change her name to her married name, she will need ID to reflect that change. Right now all her ID is in her maiden name, making her maiden name her name, unless she shows proof of the change.. make sense?

So, for the SSA for instance, they know your wife as her maiden name, until she tells them (and proves to them) otherwise. Same with her VN passport. She is known as her maiden name until she changes it. She can show her marriage certificate as proof of name change but honestly I think that would get old... but if she doesn't travel on her passport often, it wouldn't matter too much.

She can keep both names if she likes too. Some people keep their maiden name in their home country because the effort of changing it is too much... I personally found it annoying and am happy that now all of my stuff is my married name. I feel more.. married if that makes any sense... my name being my "identity" and all that (though when I call people I know is till use my maiden name.. they're still not quite used to it)

**Edit - I see you haven't applied for AOS yet. She should decide which name she wants before she AOS's otherwise it' expensive to change her GC. She doesn't need to change her ID before then though. My passport was only just changed in October this year (AOS approved July 2010) and my SSN is STILL in my maiden name 'cause I haven't had the chance to get to the local office. Until my passport was changed only my GC and my bankcard were in my married name.. everything else was maiden... so sometimes I was a bit confused about which name to put on forms (like applications etc)...

Edited November 21, 2010 by Vanessa&Tony

[SuperDuper! 230]

Scott, it is NOT just a VN thing. If you want her to change her name, and that looks great for making your marriage look bonafide to the consulate, why not just have her add your last name to hers, and have her drop her maiden middle name, and her maiden last name becomes her new middle name. Here's an example:

MARY ANN MAPLES marries BRIAN JOHNSON. So Mary changes her name to MARY MAPLES JOHNSON. This way, there is also a "trail" right in her own full new name.

Many of us do it this way. So, you file her GREEN CARD paperwork in her new, married name. Once you have the GC in her newly married name, then you use that as a basis to update her Soc Sec card (if applicable), get her state ID or Drivers License, all in her newly married name. Very easy this way, but expensive and hassle-laden if you go back and do it later.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Scott, it is NOT just a VN thing. If you want her to change her name, and that looks great for making your marriage look bonafide to the consulate, why not just have her add your last name to hers, and have her drop her maiden middle name, and her maiden last name becomes her new middle name. Here's an example:

MARY ANN MAPLES marries BRIAN JOHNSON. So Mary changes her name to MARY MAPLES JOHNSON. This way, there is also a "trail" right in her own full new name.

Many of us do it this way. So, you file her GREEN CARD paperwork in her new, married name. Once you have the GC in her newly married name, then you use that as a basis to update her Soc Sec card (if applicable), get her state ID or Drivers License, all in her newly married name. Very easy this way, but expensive and hassle-laden if you go back and do it later.

Good suggestion. One thing though, USCIS doesn't care whether she changes her name to yours or not. It doesn't prove a bonafide relationship.. though I'm sure it doesn't hurt... At a consulate this might have a bigger effect.. in a high fraud country but this is for AOS.

Otherwise you are correct. The maiden name to middle name thing is a good suggestion but not all states allow the change like this and it can become troublesome come naturalisation time (there as a thread a while back). So make sure to check your state requirements for name change before you make it all "official" with USCIS.

[JoannaV 174]

Be aware that every state varies, so use discernment when interpreting VJ members' responses lol.

From looking online, it seems that in Florida a wife can legally start to use her husband's name after marriage, you don't have to go through an extra process to get her name changed. You just have to go through the process of changing her name on all her ID. (Obviously, until she has changed her name on an ID, she won't have any ID to prove that she legally has your name, and so in that sense her name stays the same until she has changed it on her official ID.)

If the two of you decide that your wife will use your name, then you will need to inform all the relevant authorities. (Probably best to order extra copies of the marriage certificate.) If she already has an SSN then you can just go down to the SSA with the marriage certificate and update her name. If you want her new name to be the name on her green card then apply in this new name.

I don't know how long it takes to change the name on a Vietnamese passport. Some VJ members have filed AOS using the maiden name because they couldn't get the new passport. However, this is not necessary. So long as you have the marriage certificate the passport can remain in the old name for the purposes of AOS: it will not cause any problems to apply for AOS in the new name whilst having a passport with the old name.

[ScottThuy 140]

She actually wanted to swap her first and middle name and change the surname but that wont happen easily in any manner of documentation.. the surname seems to be the way we will go.. starting with SSA

[VanessaTony 3,567]

She actually wanted to swap her first and middle name and change the surname but that wont happen easily in any manner of documentation.. the surname seems to be the way we will go.. starting with SSA

Well let her know that when (and if) she chooses to naturalise there is an option to change her name then.

have you investigated how complicated (and expensive) it is to get a court ordered name change in your state?

[ScottThuy 140]

Well let her know that when (and if) she chooses to naturalise there is an option to change her name then.

have you investigated how complicated (and expensive) it is to get a court ordered name change in your state?

Have not looked into that yet,... the fees for everything in FL have gone up in the past year...

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

My wife was willing to change her name, not because she particularly wanted to but because she just thought that's how it's done in the US. I suggested she keep her family name. First, that's how it's done in Vietnam. Second, there is no legal requirement for her to change her name when she gets married. Third, it's considerably less complicated with the documents and identification. Fourth, I thought there would be some psychological benefit to her kids if at least one parent had the same family name as they did. Fifth, I thought her Vietnamese given name sounded bizarre with my Scottish surname.

So, she kept her family name. I must admit that not having to do anything with regards to the documents or ID's has made things a lot simpler.

[ScottThuy 140]

Fifth, I thought her Vietnamese given name sounded bizarre with my Scottish surname.

I dont think it would have sounded odd with your surname... But I can see the logic behind all of the reasoning... Thuy may just keep hers the same as well after giving it some thought... I guess in the scheme of things the name is small potatoes... not to mention dealing with the VN consulate to get the passport changed... ugh... not a battle I want to fight...

I am stilll trying to explain why I throw away empty boxes such as the Mac n cheese dinner box from today... I just never thought about trying to sell them or keep them for wrapping presents...

[Anh map 2,098]

I am stilll trying to explain why I throw away empty boxes such as the Mac n cheese dinner box from today... I just never thought about trying to sell them or keep them for wrapping presents...

:blink: :rofl: :whistle:

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

I am stilll trying to explain why I throw away empty boxes such as the Mac n cheese dinner box from today... I just never thought about trying to sell them or keep them for wrapping presents...

Phuong was the same way, until she realized how many boxes, cans, bottles, and jars we go through, and how very little storage space we've got for this stuff. She felt better about it once she realized that most of that stuff ends up in separate recycling container. She still reuses a lot of food containers, and she often doesn't relabel them. I came close once to taking a swig from a Crystal Geyser water bottle containing homemade fish sauce!

[luckytxn 2,264]

My wife is now asking about changing her name to mine. She had said that she wanted to keep her name as they do in VN to keep things easier but now I will be figuring it out also.

Mine also saves any containers that can be reused to keep extra food not eaten. She does save many beverage containers and makes teas so that I can drink them on the road. This would be OK except that she mixes many different teas that each on their own is supposed to be good for you. Alone they are pretty good but she now mixes them together to where they taste rank. I have since learned to just say thanks and take them with me and pour them out after taking one swig so that when she asks if I have drank them I can honestly say, "yes." She is now on a kick for me to take a spoon full of either fish oil or very virgin olive oil and I now take this with me on the road and do the same thing. The only problems are that when I come home she expects me to drink this stuff and watches me do so. Luckily so far I am gone for about 2 weeks and home for a few so that my suffering so far is lessened.

[decker 1]

Keeping her family name is the traditional way. Apparently so is keeping all manner of junk. Linh has discovered the "second hand" stores and has been preparing for some apocalypse to befall us. I thought I was the only one dealing with mild hoarding. Thanx folks.

Edited November 22, 2010 by decker

[luckytxn 2,264]

Keeping her family name is the traditional way. Apparently so is keeping all manner of junk. Linh has discovered the "second hand" stores and has been preparing for some apocalypse to befall us. I thought I was the only one dealing with mild hoarding. Thanx folks.

Mine has discovered where every stores sales, cheaper, racks for clothes. She can go into a store never been in and zero in on these racks in no time flat. Also she has a knack of going through each clothing on them and toss me the ones she wants to try on and ignore my whines. Every store knows me because they are used to me coming over to confirm prices. Of course she asks my opinion and then ignores what I say and buys what she wants anyway. Of course she asks me to take her shopping in the first place and I say NO but do it anyway because she promises to make my fave meal. Not sure why she needs so many clothes.

Also for some reason I am the lotion tester. I automatically just raise one arm so she can place a drop of lotion or perfume or whatever and rub it in and she sniffs it. By the time we are done no part has not had something rubbed on it and sniffed. I now am used to walking around with a purse and bags. I think she is testing my patience.