how to wait patiently & positively

[oceanshark 2]

Hello All!

I was lucky enough to spend 7 months (I studied there) with my fiance in his country (Morocco). I returned home (US) 3 months ago. I'm trying to keep myself busy with work and school (I'm a university student), but still feel distracted with this waiting process. It's hard for me to feel focused or grounded in the things I do now that I'm home. I think part of what I'm experiencing is reverse-culture shock and the other part is simply missing my fiance. I'm curious about how you all have managed to keep focused, positive, and patient while your loved one(s) are so far away. I look forward to hearing any of your anecdotes, stories or tips!

yes, it is quite a challenge. we use yahoovideo every day. it does help a lot although sometimes it makes it harder to be so far away!i see something here about magic jack? how does that work>?but emails are great way to let them know youa re thinking of them. and of course, they will "get" it as they are missing you too:--)....todd

[Rajaa 0]

Definitely waiting is the hardest in the whole process and the different time zone even makes it harder to keep connected. One thing that we used with my husband and that helped me a lot is that in addition to the hours of video Skype, we send each other mails first thing in the morning and right before going to bed. That makes me feel we keep connected more… Now for two years right when I open my eyes I run to the laptop and open my mails like a kid open a gift:) and that makes my day:)

Try to remain as positive as u can. For sure you will have moments of doubt but don’t ever forget you both are on the same side and after all the day you will see him again you will realize how it worth it all:)

[jandk 6]

Hello All!

I was lucky enough to spend 7 months (I studied there) with my fiance in his country (Morocco). I returned home (US) 3 months ago. I'm trying to keep myself busy with work and school (I'm a university student), but still feel distracted with this waiting process. It's hard for me to feel focused or grounded in the things I do now that I'm home. I think part of what I'm experiencing is reverse-culture shock and the other part is simply missing my fiance. I'm curious about how you all have managed to keep focused, positive, and patient while your loved one(s) are so far away. I look forward to hearing any of your anecdotes, stories or tips!

Skype, and work is working for me, i left my laptop to my wife and pay for her to have internet so we always have that communication level.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Definitely waiting is the hardest in the whole process and the different time zone even makes it harder to keep connected. One thing that we used with my husband and that helped me a lot is that in addition to the hours of video Skype, we send each other mails first thing in the morning and right before going to bed. That makes me feel we keep connected more… Now for two years right when I open my eyes I run to the laptop and open my mails like a kid open a gift:) and that makes my day:)

Try to remain as positive as u can. For sure you will have moments of doubt but don’t ever forget you both are on the same side and after all the day you will see him again you will realize how it worth it all:)

I disaagree. Teaching them to drive was the hardest part.

[blessedblessed 1]

not TMI in my book the more info the merrier!

i totally have thought the same thing about the shaving legs business.

in any case--i like your point about making something fun to look forward to. that's so important. and tonight that's exactly what i'll be doing--seeing harry potter!

thanks for your response. you make waiting sound almost fun!

Well, I can't say I am succeeding in waiting patiently, per se, but I'm making it. This is what I do:

• First of all, work full time, and go to school part time. That occupies a lot of my time
  
• Talk/chat/video chat every day
  
• Exercise almost every day
  
• Read a lot
  
• Clean
  
• Cook
  
• Crochet baby blankets for the ever-increasing number of babies my friends seem to be having
  
• Recognize little milestones and exciting events, like an extra day off of work, or the Harry Potter movie--always having SOMEthing to look forward to
  
• Spend way too much time on VJ
  
• Meditate
  
• Try to appreciate all of the little things that will probably go away once he gets here--like being able to eat chips and salsa for dinner, or not having to shave my legs on a regular basis (TMI? Sorry! Ha ha ha!)
  

I have countdowns/count-ups for everything. A woman I work with has told me I'm not patient at all. It has me wondering--what IS patience, exactly? Does it mean you're happy to wait? Does it mean you function normally while waiting? Well, I don't know anyone who would be happy to sit back and wait during this type of situation. But I think that having a normal, productive, and reasonably happy life during this process is a reasonable goal.

Good luck!

[Canadiandggal 49]

not TMI in my book the more info the merrier!

i totally have thought the same thing about the shaving legs business.

in any case--i like your point about making something fun to look forward to. that's so important. and tonight that's exactly what i'll be doing--seeing harry potter!

thanks for your response. you make waiting sound almost fun!

We use to text a few times a day,talk every night, watch videos together while sitting on messenger (that was fun a virtual movie), we played games together, sent emails and cards. We use to do the countdown of our next visit. I didn't have a lot to do so I mostly focused on the whole process and paperwork, friends and family, the future.

Most of all, just hang in there. The end result is the most amazing thing. Smile

[blessedblessed 1]

i really like the idea of emailing in the morning and at night because those are typically the most difficult times for me!

what's the time difference for you two now?

for abdelhay and i it's 5 hours.

but yes... i think it will help if i think about how this period of waiting is worth our future together...

see, i think it's all about the positive spin on things.

Definitely waiting is the hardest in the whole process and the different time zone even makes it harder to keep connected. One thing that we used with my husband and that helped me a lot is that in addition to the hours of video Skype, we send each other mails first thing in the morning and right before going to bed. That makes me feel we keep connected more… Now for two years right when I open my eyes I run to the laptop and open my mails like a kid open a gift:) and that makes my day:)

Try to remain as positive as u can. For sure you will have moments of doubt but don’t ever forget you both are on the same side and after all the day you will see him again you will realize how it worth it all:)

[Amber & Ahmed 133]

Hello All!

I was lucky enough to spend 7 months (I studied there) with my fiance in his country (Morocco). I returned home (US) 3 months ago. I'm trying to keep myself busy with work and school (I'm a university student), but still feel distracted with this waiting process. It's hard for me to feel focused or grounded in the things I do now that I'm home. I think part of what I'm experiencing is reverse-culture shock and the other part is simply missing my fiance. I'm curious about how you all have managed to keep focused, positive, and patient while your loved one(s) are so far away. I look forward to hearing any of your anecdotes, stories or tips!

Jessica, I too have felt the same way. I am a senior in my university. I have seen my grades fall dramtically this past semester. All I can suggest is to spend as much time with your honey as possible. Yahoo video chat... mmmmm... I can't say enough about how that helps me and Ahmed!

I wish you a speedy reunion!

[Krikit 1,164]

Moving from K-1 Process to K-1 Progress.

[Nate & Dina 1]

(I can text international for free

What kind of service provider do you have to be able to text international for free? I would love to be able to do this.

[Rajaa 0]

i really like the idea of emailing in the morning and at night because those are typically the most difficult times for me!

what's the time difference for you two now?

for abdelhay and i it's 5 hours.

I am in Casablanca and Yusuf is in DC so for us too it is 5hours difference. I go to bed when it is still afternoon for him:)

[Rajaa 0]

I disaagree. Teaching them to drive was the hardest part.

We still didnt get to this part so I dont know

[REINITA♥REY 8]

What kind of service provider do you have to be able to text international for free? I would love to be able to do this.

I am very lucky Peru and Miami is in the same time zone :-)

My cell phone company is Metro PCS. It's $50 a month for unlimited everything. I can text Peru and other countries unlimited. They call it text talk, so my carrier connects with other phone carries in other countries....for example...I can text anyone who has the following carriers in Russia:

Baykalwestcom

Delta Telecom

MegaFon

Mobile Telesystems

Nizhegorodskaya Cellular Communications

Novosibirsk Cellular Communications - 450

Saratov Cellular System

SMARTS

Ural GSM

VimpelCom

Edited November 19, 2010 by LADUQUE13

[-teRe- 9]

Skype, emails and phone calls to his work everyday, and i am looking forward and too excited for his 4th visit this january/february.

[KiwiBird 132]

We use webcam all the time. Even when he's at work. This boss understands the need for one, and I get to chat with him then.

He also wakes up at 3am every morning to text me while I get ready for work.