Another End of the Road

[gugu24 0]

well folks in a sense USCIS is true. no offense but if we see today then we got two examples in which people broke. i gues one year is a right time to see how much do we love each other. eithr its long distance or close distance relationship. i know in the begining we think its so cool. to be loved to be cared. but as the time passes, the emotions go down. i always say i guess one piece of paper is not the guarntee of our relationship. in love we have to sacrifice for eachother. in the long distance relationship, the only thing which counts is a sacrifice. one has to loose something to gain something.

[mrsushi66 0]

Actually I do not think it was the process or the length of the process. I get the feeling that these relationships have one thing in common with face to face relationships, sometimes when the time comes to make the commitment for a life time things become unbarable for one or both of the people. This is not a terrible thing it is just a thing. While I am sad for both couples I hope they have made the right choice but only time will tell.

We would all like to think that we know our future and that we will live happily ever after but when the actuall time rolls around to take the step sometimes are faced with the hugeness of it all and it is too overwhelming for us.

Just my opinion.

Paul misses Anna

[ya falaha! 0]

Oh that sucks! Sorry to hear about this. It's best that you found this out now before you finished the visa process and got married. Best wishes to you.

[digbeezgrl 0]

Actually I do not think it was the process or the length of the process. I get the feeling that these relationships have one thing in common with face to face relationships, sometimes when the time comes to make the commitment for a life time things become unbarable for one or both of the people. This is not a terrible thing it is just a thing. While I am sad for both couples I hope they have made the right choice but only time will tell.

We would all like to think that we know our future and that we will live happily ever after but when the actuall time rolls around to take the step sometimes are faced with the hugeness of it all and it is too overwhelming for us.

Just my opinion.

Paul misses Anna

I'd like to clarify one thing here. I can't speak for anyone else's relationship, or the dynamics thereof. I can say one thing for my own: It didn't have ANYTHING to do with EITHER of us being 'unwilling' or 'unable' or otherwise to make a commitment to one another. Not trying to cause an argument, but I take exception to that. We have tried harder and harder and harder than a LOT of couples to make this thing work, because we are both painfully aware of how MUCH sacrafice we BOTH have made for each other. It's the furthest thing from 'lack of commitment' that it could be.

The bottom line is, sometimes, two people's personalities do not mesh. The one and only way to find this out for sure is to live together and see if you can survive it happily, which we were, unfortunately, unable to in this case.

I don't even want to have to think about this anymore today. It's taking it's toll on my mental health at the moment, and I cannot function, work, and live life in tears. Thank you to all for your neverending support, once again.

~Out

[drelewis 0]

Actually I do not think it was the process or the length of the process. I get the feeling that these relationships have one thing in common with face to face relationships, sometimes when the time comes to make the commitment for a life time things become unbarable for one or both of the people. This is not a terrible thing it is just a thing. While I am sad for both couples I hope they have made the right choice but only time will tell.

We would all like to think that we know our future and that we will live happily ever after but when the actuall time rolls around to take the step sometimes are faced with the hugeness of it all and it is too overwhelming for us.

Just my opinion.

Paul misses Anna

I'd like to clarify one thing here. I can't speak for anyone else's relationship, or the dynamics thereof. I can say one thing for my own: It didn't have ANYTHING to do with EITHER of us being 'unwilling' or 'unable' or otherwise to make a commitment to one another. Not trying to cause an argument, but I take exception to that. We have tried harder and harder and harder than a LOT of couples to make this thing work, because we are both painfully aware of how MUCH sacrafice we BOTH have made for each other. It's the furthest thing from 'lack of commitment' that it could be.

The bottom line is, sometimes, two people's personalities do not mesh. The one and only way to find this out for sure is to live together and see if you can survive it happily, which we were, unfortunately, unable to in this case.

I don't even want to have to think about this anymore today. It's taking it's toll on my mental health at the moment, and I cannot function, work, and live life in tears. Thank you to all for your neverending support, once again.

~Out

Hang in there guys. The whole mental health thing is so true i have never been one to be like this but i have been down.

I guess its best that u guys have found out now rather than the other way around.

We spent 6 weeks together and it was great i was working and she was at home. It went fine for us, we just need more time as i have updated in the other thread.

I hope you find peace in your lives.

[no name 1]

We spent 6 weeks together and it was great i was working and she was at home. It went fine for us, we just need more time as i have updated in the other thread.

I hope you find peace in your lives.

Not that's it my business so ignore if you want, but drelewis, had you ever spent a lot of time together before? Just very curious if either of you had met online & only had brief visits or not...

[drelewis 0]

We spent 6 weeks together and it was great i was working and she was at home. It went fine for us, we just need more time as i have updated in the other thread.

I hope you find peace in your lives.

Not that's it my business so ignore if you want, but drelewis, had you ever spent a lot of time together before? Just very curious if either of you had met online & only had brief visits or not...

we met in person and i have been over 6 times to stay at xmas for 3 weeks at a time other times for 2 weeks and one week.

She has come over her 5 times onnce for 6 weeks the others for 10-14 days.

[no name 1]

we met in person and i have been over 6 times to stay at xmas for 3 weeks at a time other times for 2 weeks and one week.

She has come over her 5 times onnce for 6 weeks the others for 10-14 days.

oh. Well best of luck. I hope she comes to visit & you try again before your visa runs out.

[mrsushi66 0]

I'd like to clarify one thing here. I can't speak for anyone else's relationship, or the dynamics thereof. I can say one thing for my own: It didn't have ANYTHING to do with EITHER of us being 'unwilling' or 'unable' or otherwise to make a commitment to one another. Not trying to cause an argument, but I take exception to that. We have tried harder and harder and harder than a LOT of couples to make this thing work, because we are both painfully aware of how MUCH sacrafice we BOTH have made for each other. It's the furthest thing from 'lack of commitment' that it could be.

The bottom line is, sometimes, two people's personalities do not mesh. The one and only way to find this out for sure is to live together and see if you can survive it happily, which we were, unfortunately, unable to in this case.

I don't even want to have to think about this anymore today. It's taking it's toll on my mental health at the moment, and I cannot function, work, and live life in tears. Thank you to all for your neverending support, once again.

~Out

Something you said in the original post was the stress of not knowing how this will turn out for both of us was too much. Do you truly believe that all the rest of us are more insightfull than you? My observation was based on what you said. When people are afraid sometimes it is easier fight than face the fears of the unknown. Had you mearly said we can't gett along for more than ten minutes then I would have said wow, I am sorry it is over but maybe it is for the best but if you are fighting because you are both so afraid of the unknown that is what I was commenting on. I am not trying pick you apart or point flaws out but show you that we are all afraid of the uknown we all have no idea what the future holds for us. Each of us might end in tragedy or great joy.

I never said you didn't work hard or had an inability to commit at least that is not how I intended it. I merely have been in situations where when faced with an overwhelming situation sometimes instinct is to retreat.

I wont post again to this topic since I seem to not know how to communicate my sincerity to help.

Best of luck.

[Rob&Marife 0]

[

The bottom line is, sometimes, two people's personalities do not mesh. The one and only way to find this out for sure is to live together and see if you can survive it happily, which we were, unfortunately, unable to in this case.

I don't even want to have to think about this anymore today. It's taking it's toll on my mental health at the moment, and I cannot function, work, and live life in tears. Thank you to all for your neverending support, once again.

~Out

I coudn't agree more... just sorry that you had to go through all of that but at least you know that you gave it your best effort. I know you'll get all of the regular time heals all wounds etc... but my advice is to drink heavily... seriously I wish you the best and hope that your heart will recover quickly.

[Sheriff Uling 3]

digbeezgrl - Best of luck in all of your future endeavors. You hit the nail on the head about people getting along. Two good people don't necessarily mean one good time... although it would be nice if that were always the case. I have been in relationships with wonderful women, but we just could not get along no matter what we tried. I'm just fortunate to have now found someone that I definitely click with on all cylinders, which is sweet. "Digbeezgrl" your happiness will come just when you never expected it... Cheers!

[The_dip_sticks 0]

Im sorry that things that not work out for you and your fiance. I hope that you both find peace and healing as you move on.

[TracyTN 237]

I'm just so sad to read this, digbeezgrl. But I think if you are calling yourselves 'the Bickersons', it is probably best that you end it now before you two grow to really resent one another. That's not what marriage is about.

Best of luck to both of you.

[cheeky^Wolf 0]

Such a sad story, I hope you both find happiness and you never know, your paths may cross again if it's meant to be.

Helen

[JenT 0]

....I feel bad that we've spent SO much time, effort, tears, money, joy, and sadness on this past year and a half, that it just makes me sick that it was all in vain.

For what it's worth, I've learned that the things we experience in life are never in vain. You're hurting too much to see past the sadness right now, but if you give yourself the time to heal and reflect on all of this, you may find that you have learned more about yourself, what you want out of life, and what you want out of a partner.

I'm sad for you, and for all of the VJ couples who write about their relationship challenges and endings. We, who are going through this process, know better than anyone how you are feeling. When David was here for 4 weeks at the beginning of the summer, the things we expected to be issues weren't, and the things we weren't expecting to be issues, were. Ultimately, we found a way to communicate so that we understood each other's perspectives and we were able to get past all of it and remain committed.... it's not always possible for some people to do that, no matter how much they love each other.

Take time for yourself and try to stay strong. You will be able to move on from this. Post again when you're ready and let us know how you are doing.

Jen