Heartbroken and deceived---need help/advice

[marklovetina 52]

I don't think she cheated on him. All he gave us were CHATLOGs stating she was chatting with her x bf. Maybe she likes to chat and flirt with guys on the net. She is lonely. What do we expect? Well, maybe that is wrong but not horrible. My 2 cents again.

Well, initial translations are in---they apparently enjoy cyber sex on web cam, they both shower 'I love you's' on each other, and they were planning to enjoy sexual activity if she would make a visit in March or April. So, all in all, it is bad. I told her today, 'honey, I think we need you to return to the Philippines. I printed out the summary of the chat, the original chat, and a partial exact translation. She did not say a word, and still has not. I asked 'when are you ready to go?'.

she come here or not... she did sex on cam or not, flirt on X over the net, so here... why not try to put ur self on the OP's shoes.. and let us tell u oh jrmejia ur wife didnt cheated u... she is only chatting with her X bf...

[sweet angel 5]

I don't think she cheated on him. All he gave us were CHATLOGs stating she was chatting with her x bf. Maybe she likes to chat and flirt with guys on the net. She is lonely. What do we expect? Well, maybe that is wrong but not horrible. My 2 cents again.

What kind of mentality is this???!!!

[Ms.M 4]

Her college was called Ateneo de Davao. It could be one of those diploma mills that give easy degrees. I guess I never considered that it could be a 'pay for your degree' school, so it is possible.

Well, tonight she offered her apologizes for all she has done. She cried a lot. She told me she feels it is so difficult for her here----like she is in a jail. She agreed that it is best if she returns to the Philippines. I am looking to get her there in the next week or so. She is discussing more with me now. I told her the talking we did this morning is the normal way people discuss issues, rather than just stand in silence and looking away. She asked why I do not behave with more anger towards her, and she said she is surprised I did not slap her. I explained that getting physical is not only not in my character, but it does nothing helpful.

So, finally she has expressed some genuine regret, and communicated her thoughts a little bit. I told her, she is a little too late to start communicating about what has happened.

sorry to hear that.. i know there is someone is worth for your love.. Godbless You...

[Loolie 56]

I don't think she cheated on him. All he gave us were CHATLOGs stating she was chatting with her x bf. Maybe she likes to chat and flirt with guys on the net. She is lonely. What do we expect? Well, maybe that is wrong but not horrible. My 2 cents again.

she cheated on him. And your right maybe she felt lonely and she maybe felt like she cant relate and talk to anybody but only to her family and friends online. Some people are eager to go here but sometimes once they get here they see that its really different here. Not if you make friends but still most of the time your friends get busy too so at the end of the day they will think of how nice to be with thier family and friends in the Philippines.

Nobody is perfect and neither of us here. You cant really judge a person immediately by what she has done. There is always a space in our heart to learn how to forgive and forget. And maybe give another chance unless they dont want to. And besides shes only been here for how many weeks. Some people are weak to get tempted to be unfaithful and unfortunately shes one of those people. God bless to you OP.

[envy_me 18]

im sorry but she doesn't love you. and even if you love her, you gotta send her back home! SHAME ON HER!

this is the main reason why a lot of people are having a hard time getting their visas! tsk, tsk!

please make sure you inform immigration about this so she won't be able to victimized another american..

[BigJohn 4]

I hope she is still not chatting online back to the philippines while she waits... otherwise it is only a matter of time before someone suggests to her to call in a complaint of violence to the police and then she can stay. If you haven't put in your revocation of her green card already you are going to deserve what you get. At the point up until you found out what was going on, everything that happened was her fault. At the point that you don't prevent further bad things from happening once you know, it's your fault. She is in a desperate situation in a far away country with no relatives to help her. Desperate people who otherwise wouldn't necessarily do them ordinarily do desperate things. It may be she really does want to go back to the philippines and won't cause any problems, but if you don't take steps to protect yourself you are risking great damage to yourself to protect someone who cuckolded you.... on the day of your wedding no less. How much more disrespectful and unloving can you get? As for reconciliation, she doesn't love you or she wouldn't have done what she did. The only thing reconciliation will do is let her stay in the country long enough for her green card is permanent and she has a baby of yours, then she can take the baby and walk and get child support from you for 18 years. A domestic violence charge can follow you your whole life and prevent you from getting jobs. I hope you realize how dangerous a situation you are in. You seem to be going easy to protect her but you're the one who needs protecting. You should never have confronted her about it until you had already filed to have her sent back to the RP. I know it's hard because you loved her enough to marry her and still have feelings for her, but at some point you need to look out for yourself first over someone who is USING you.

Edited November 18, 2010 by BigJohn

[piglett 16]

look guy the cold harsh truth is that she played you like a cheep flute.

your dam sure not the 1ST guy to get screw over & used by a woman & you sure will not be the last either.

Stop trying to be a nice guy & send the fruad home N O W ! ! !

if you don't you are going to get screw over even more than you already have.

once she is out of the country then you can take some time to lick your wounds

the good news is that there are about 20 million ladies in S.E. Asia that would just love to be your next wife & most of them are not frauds & they will treat you like you should be treated.

sorry to be so harsh but you need to snap out of it & start doing what's rite for YOU!!!

good luck guy

piglett

[pookaphilus 12]

@ Admin..hehehe..kindly erase my post above..typo error..lol..thanks..

wow.. ...wow..you've almost make the most of what you can do just to make sure she feels @ home...lucky her...as for some of us here, we don't have any TFC/GMA's..nor we go out always...but still, we are happy with our lives here in US..my husband doesn't earn much but he is striving to provide our needs everyday...there are times that I am sad and misses my family back home(it's pretty normal I guess)....but after all, to think and be contented and be happy with your new life with the person you love the most is far more important than anything(if it's true love!!)..and specially if you both have/share the same goal(to start your own family and love each other unconditionally) and you respect each other...misunderstandings are pretty normal....but before the day ends, you would really smile and look back to where you both have started/gone through and the LOVE you have for each other...

your wife my have her own goals and some of her wants weren't met..even if how hard you try to make everything work, if she is not happy, she will never be happy about it..and maybe you were one of the props in one of her goals(sorry to say that.. )..sometimes,it's really about "contentment"..and "communication" really plays a very important role to any relationship...and I would also agree to what other fellow members here have said..once a cheater will always be a cheater...giving chances are always there..but knowing that you will still end up into bad terms after every chances you will give is really a "stupid" thing to do...she asked to go home, then let her wish be granted...it's not punishing her but it's the "right" thing to do..

They said, "it's ok to love someone with all your heart...but always leave something for yourself"...God has plans..you just don't know...just have faith coz you will find and be with the right person for you who deserves your utmost LOVE & RESPECT....God bless us all..

[Tahoma 2,292]

Well, initial translations are in---they apparently enjoy cyber sex on web cam, they both shower 'I love you's' on each other, and they were planning to enjoy sexual activity if she would make a visit in March or April.

While I have stated support for and still do support forgiveness and even reconciliation...

Reconcile what exactly!?!

...talk to her and miracle can happen. Love can move mountains. My 2 cents.

WAKE UP!!!

I don't think she cheated on him. All he gave us were CHATLOGs stating she was chatting with her x bf. Maybe she likes to chat and flirt with guys on the net. She is lonely. What do we expect? Well, maybe that is wrong but not horrible. My 2 cents again.

DO YOU EVER BOTHER TO LISTEN TO YOURSELF?!?

@SaddenedNow...Pay no attention to those with reading comprehension problems and to trolls. You know exactly what's going on with her. You read it with your own eyes. She's worse than a cheater...she's a scammer!

It's irrational to think that you can reconcile something that never was. There is no marriage to restore because it was a fraud to begin with. She never loved you. She simply used you. She loves her boyfriend in the Philippines. You know it and I know it. Now that you've caught the scammer red-handed...get rid of her. Don't allow her to continue her scam. Stay strong and don't look back. You will recover from this.

[Ban Hammer 13,150]

@ Admin..hehehe..kindly erase my post above..typo error..lol..thanks..

done

[one...two...tree 2,762]

It's irrational to think that you can reconcile something that never was. There is no marriage to restore because it was a fraud to begin with. She never loved you. She simply used you. She loves her boyfriend in the Philippines.

As irrational as a woman who gets beaten by her husband, but stands by him because 'he loves her.'

[TravellingNomad 12]

I don't think she cheated on him. All he gave us were CHATLOGs stating she was chatting with her x bf. Maybe she likes to chat and flirt with guys on the net. She is lonely. What do we expect? Well, maybe that is wrong but not horrible. My 2 cents again.

dude...if you're willing to fool yourself by making excuses like what you've been saying on your posts....then you do deserve what you're getting from your wife/gf/significant other that is taking a dump on your head and crapping all over you.

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

dude...if you're willing to fool yourself by making excuses like what you've been saying on your posts....then you do deserve what you're getting from your wife/gf/significant other that is taking a dump on your head and crapping all over you.

On the positive side of things, when he comes here crying about how he was fooled/scammed or whatever word he chooses to use we can simply point him to these recent threads and not waste our efforts repeating things to him for the 5 millionth time!

[Tahoma 2,292]

On the positive side of things, when he comes here crying about how he was fooled/scammed or whatever word he chooses to use we can simply point him to these recent threads and not waste our efforts repeating things to him for the 5 millionth time!

So true!!!

+1

[one...two...tree 2,762]