Heartbroken and deceived---need help/advice

[fil01 16]

...you will really know when a Filipina loves you.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

...you will really know when a Filipina loves you.

Maybe not. He seemed to have thought all these signs from her were expressions of love. Perhaps he'd be better off figuring out what real love is before trying to find it.

[Mike&Cherry 45]

This is horrible what is happening to you. I hope that you have a good resolution. You should notify ICE right away before she starts to make any bogus claims of abuse. You never know what type of ####### she will pull. Make sure you don't tell her that you contacted them. They should be able to do much more than USCIS will do. They will enforce the law upon her; She will receive justice whether good or bad. Here's a link of a similar situation that happened to another VJ memeber. You should really check it out for good advice. He has almost completed the whole process of dealing with your type of situation

link

Also once she is gone you felt that she is a true scammer then should add her info on to this website: link

This will help prevent from her doing this to someone else in the future. www.dragonladies.com is dedicated to compiling a list of scammers to bring there activities into the open and help those who are looking for real love to stay away from these scammers.

And remember once a cheater always a cheater. She cannot be trusted because the trust was never there from the beginning. Please becareful on how you proceed so that she does not make false acuasations against you. I really do hope the best for you and that this ends soon, if you want it to. True love is out there, but sometimes it takes a while to find.

Edited November 16, 2010 by Mike&Cherry

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

Missing home and family I fully understand and am sympathetic towards. Expressing deep love to another the day after our wedding is not excusable to me. And the denying me only started after we were married: prior to that, she engaged in physical romance almost daily, sometimes twice daily. And she enjoyed it. She asked once if I was done, and I said yes, then she said she wasn't so we continued.

Too much information, I know, but she REALLY was into nighttime romance for several months, then it just stopped. Oh well, does not really matter right now.

Do you fish?

She's the Angler in the boat, she baits her hook with SEX.

You took the bait, she set the hook.

You liked the taste of the bait and couldn't let go as she reeled you in.

The day you married her was the moment she landed you in the boat.

Have you ever seen a Fisherman feed good bait to a fish after it's in the boat?

It really is that simple...

Just to protect yourself you might want to think about putting her up in a motel on the other side of town until her flight home.

Edited November 16, 2010 by Bob 4 Anna

[SaddenedNow 5]

Hello,

This reading is too painful. I just can't how a person can do that to another person. It is very difficult for me since I am in the process of bringing my fiancee to USA. I have no idea if she is a good apple or not.

It is like flipping a coin. I know they say "i love you" but do they really mean it like we do?

She always seemed to be on the same page with me about love, life, and family. She discussed with me how she wanted our children raised, to be modest, and not spoiled, and to live 'simple' as she puts it. I really do not think her original intent was to 'snag' me or deceive me. She has a business degree and had a decent job in the Philippines, so her financial prospects were/are better than many.

I think as the process moved along, she was most likely courted by her ex-boyfriend, and even as her feelings redeveloped for the boyfriend, she had gone 'too far to stop' in her mind towards the visa process.

So I think there are deceptive people that remain so, people with good intentions that become deceptive, and deceptive people that develop regret and better intentions. How can you tell the difference? Obviously I do not know.

[jrmejia 31]

Missing home and family I fully understand and am sympathetic towards. Expressing deep love to another the day after our wedding is not excusable to me. And the denying me only started after we were married: prior to that, she engaged in physical romance almost daily, sometimes twice daily. And she enjoyed it. She asked once if I was done, and I said yes, then she said she wasn't so we continued.

Too much information, I know, but she REALLY was into nighttime romance for several months, then it just stopped. Oh well, does not really matter right now.

Very strange. You are describing a perfect couple. I wonder if maybe she was just joking with that guy? That is a possibility? I doubt a person not in love with you will let you use her body and give you her love.

[SaddenedNow 5]

And remember once a cheater always a cheater. She cannot be trusted because the trust was never there from the beginning. Please becareful on how you proceed so that she does not make false acuasations against you. I really do hope the best for you and that this ends soon, if you want it to. True love is out there, but sometimes it takes a while to find.

Agreed. This is why I expect to ship her home in the next few days. Having started cheating/deceiving me from before and even the day after the marriage, she has shown a propensity to put another man before me. This is unforgiveable. I am not worried so much of false accusations, but will be mindful of them.

I have cut the ability to make long distance calls from the home phone, as I am not going to pay for her to call her boyfriend. She can text her family from the cell phone instead. I will recover the wedding ring from her before she boards the plane, and ensure I keep any valuables that she did not bring with her.

She is the one that will lose much more from this incident, and I am going to ensure she does not benefit. If I start to get any resistance from her about returning home, I will contact ICE and/or USCIS to explain the circumstances. I will also send a copy of our marriage certificate to the Philippines Consulate for registration, and probably send one to the NSO in Manila, to ensure the marriage is registered. I don't want to make it easy for her to conceal her marital status.

And for the person that recommended I try to get a signature for the divorce, thank you. I will check into that too.

Thanks to all for the advice.

[Mnemosyne 4]

you will really know when a Filipina loves you.

Be it a Filipina or a Russian, you will not really know if someone loves you; you will feel it, not know it. There are no signs or symptoms.

[jrmejia 31]

She always seemed to be on the same page with me about love, life, and family. She discussed with me how she wanted our children raised, to be modest, and not spoiled, and to live 'simple' as she puts it. I really do not think her original intent was to 'snag' me or deceive me. She has a business degree and had a decent job in the Philippines, so her financial prospects were/are better than many.

I think as the process moved along, she was most likely courted by her ex-boyfriend, and even as her feelings redeveloped for the boyfriend, she had gone 'too far to stop' in her mind towards the visa process.

So I think there are deceptive people that remain so, people with good intentions that become deceptive, and deceptive people that develop regret and better intentions. How can you tell the difference? Obviously I do not know.

Everything you are typing remind me of my fiancee. She has a very nice JOB in Dubai and also has a degree. She always tell me about wanting a simple life and things like that.

I wonder if you should give her a second chance? Just thinking aloud.

[Mnemosyne 4]

Everything you are typing remind me of my fiancee. She has a very nice JOB in Dubai and also has a degree. She always tell me about wanting a simple life and things like that.

I wonder if you should give her a second chance? Just thinking aloud.

Give her a second chance because she has a very nice job and she said she only wants a simple life?

There is always a huge difference between believing and doing or merely saying.

Sure, give her a second chance and wait until you catch her red-handed before you decide to ditch her. That's the most moronic thing to do.

[Kevin- 13]

To go that route, you should ensure you contact *sombody* in a verifiable way (although, this message board could even qualify for that in a pinch, perhaps) about what she's done, to ensure she doesn't go the route of accusing you of abuse.

The fact that she doesn't seem to be headed the route of claiming abuse, makes me wonder what the deception was for. Deception usually has a motive. If she had a decent life there, and now isn't scrambling to continue the fraud to get a GC, what has she stood to gain? Also the silence shows no attempt to continue the deception, which would be expected especially if it were the unmotivated type of deception (pathological liar). However, she could just be feeling that the gig is up, and has given up. It still could have been the usual "get divorced after the minimum number of years and bring her Filipino BF over here" scam.

To all: Please don't assume that my prior "unpopular stance" was without thought and realization of what's really going on. The evidence here shows that it's possible (even though not probable), that she originally may have genuinely loved the OP. When there's any possibility of genuine repentance, it should not be squashed automatically.

[Maxx121 14]

Wow, this is crazy, just hold onto those chatlogs for dear life and back them up. also, put a password on your computer so she cant get into that again.

wish you the best. and please report her when you are done, dont let her do this to someone else.

[Robert E Lee 0]

Stop feedin' this troll. He lets his mouth overload his tail!

[marklovetina 52]

Agreed. This is why I expect to ship her home in the next few days. Having started cheating/deceiving me from before and even the day after the marriage, she has shown a propensity to put another man before me. This is unforgiveable. I am not worried so much of false accusations, but will be mindful of them.

I have cut the ability to make long distance calls from the home phone, as I am not going to pay for her to call her boyfriend. She can text her family from the cell phone instead. I will recover the wedding ring from her before she boards the plane, and ensure I keep any valuables that she did not bring with her.

She is the one that will lose much more from this incident, and I am going to ensure she does not benefit. If I start to get any resistance from her about returning home, I will contact ICE and/or USCIS to explain the circumstances. I will also send a copy of our marriage certificate to the Philippines Consulate for registration, and probably send one to the NSO in Manila, to ensure the marriage is registered. I don't want to make it easy for her to conceal her marital status.

And for the person that recommended I try to get a signature for the divorce, thank you. I will check into that too.

Thanks to all for the advice.

very good... yes sometimes u need to make punishment so other pinays who will read ur thread will learn from what u did experience.

[Tahoma 2,292]

@SaddenedNow...

I'm glad you caught this scammer red-handed before things went any further. Right now she's not responding to you because she knows she's busted. Do not trust her. Anything else she tells you will only be for the purpose of continuing her scam.

It's obvious that she was on the five-year plan with her Pinoy boyfriend. Her plan was to use you to become a citizen and then dump you so that she could petition her boyfriend. In the meantime, she was going to send your money to him. And she was going to visit the Philippines in order to visit him.

As you can see, she knew she had a lot to gain from you. She thought she could have a better life in the U.S. with her boyfriend. Forget about her degree. There are countless thousands of Filipinos in the Philippines with degrees who are unemployed or underemployed.

For example, if she had a BS in Nursing, her prospects would be dim in the Philippines. Tens of thousands of nurses in the Philippines can't find a job in their field and they can't even get a volunteer job...even though most volunteer jobs now require the volunteer to pay the hospital!

Even if she did get a nursing job, it would not pay more than $250 per month. And you can bet that any Filipino nurse knows that they can make twenty times that much in the U.S. That's just one example. The point is that her life in the Philippines was not a bed of roses, she believed she could have a better life here in the U.S., and she was willing to scam you to get it.

The fact that she is an unsophisticated scammer and got caught should not make any difference in your decision to dump her. She deserves it...and you deserve much better.