Heartbroken and deceived---need help/advice

[A and T 82]

I emailed you the translation. She is regreting a lot of things, missing her family, and missing her boyfriend. Her boyfriend also makes her sound like a nympho, but she's denying you so it must be just you that she doesn't like. Ditch her.

Wow, how horrible I'm really sorry you are going through this, but if she misses them, grant her wish and send her packing and notify uscis of her fraudulent activities. So she won't do this to other Americans

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I noticed how you compose your plight here, I can see that you are such a good man by way of saying things. You hold your anger so well because of your love for her. The Bible says, Love covers a multitudes of sin. This is true as Jesus Christ showed it. I don't know if you've talk to her already about all you've found out. Maybe it's about time to tell her everything. It can be difficult and also be painful but this is the way out. You need to let it all out and she needs to tell you all as well. Try to work things out if possible because you two are married already BUT if she's not that willing and sincere to work it out, it's time to do everything lawfully, I believe. Offer your forgiveness but tell her too that the relationship has to stop.

Stop it! Those of you who talk of God should know what an annulment is and why the Catholic Church grants them! This marriage is a farce - and never was true to begin with so stop telling the guy to try and save it for Christ's sake. She's an evil, conniving deceiver and he has every right as well as obligation not to drink her poison anymore.

[jrmejia 31]

As for you, you seem to have a very hard head, and still willing to go through the whole process despite the many red flags that we have all discussed in detail in the many threads where you have posted. When this happens to you and worse, I have only one more thing to say after all the advice you've got here: "serves you right for not listening!"

I know what you mean. But I believe in giving her a second chance. I can not explain my feeling toward that lady.

[sachinky 464]

Ai, ai, ai!

Go to the bottom of this page and find the number for ICE. Call USCIS immediately and send in a notarized affidavit that you are pulling your I-864 because the beneficiary entered into this relationship solely for immigration benefit. Send in copies/translations of those chatlogs for evidence. Then have a glass of Dom Perignon to celebrate her AOS denial.

Good luck and be strong! Don't listen to this Jesus/forgiveness nonsense.

This man's wife has a boyfriend, for eff's sake. She married him for a piece of paper. She told her boyfriend that she loves him the day after she married this USC sucker. She's going to wait for 3 years till she gets her citizenship and then ditch aforementioned sucker to petition her PI lover. You think scum like this deserves a second chance? There's a special place in hell for people like this.

I know what you mean. But I believe in giving her a second chance. I can not explain my feeling toward that lady.

Off topic but this is another train-wreck waiting to happen.

Ai, ai, ai!

Edited November 16, 2010 by sachinky

[SaddenedNow 5]

It is likely that she's not happy, but that it's still fraud because while she may not be happy, marrying you is a means to an end. Whether that's income for her family, bringing a new husband over once yuo're out of the picture.. who knows.

What I do know is cheating is never good. Day after the wedding is abhorrent. it is 100% clear that she only married you for the greencard. There's not other reason to be telling another person the DAY after your wedding that she loves them.

I would wait for the translations though.. might not be as bad, or could be worse, than it looks.

**Edit - what part of the process are you at? Biometrics done? EAD or AP received? How many days/weeks or months have passed since you applied? It is possible to get the GC without an interview so time is of the essence if you want to "send her home". Not to mention getting her out of the house, never being alone with her in case she tries VAWA... lots to do and I don't know how much time you have.

Well, initial translations are in---they apparently enjoy cyber sex on web cam, they both shower 'I love you's' on each other, and they were planning to enjoy sexual activity if she would make a visit in March or April. So, all in all, it is bad. I told her today, 'honey, I think we need you to return to the Philippines. I printed out the summary of the chat, the original chat, and a partial exact translation. She did not say a word, and still has not. I asked 'when are you ready to go?'.

No EAD or AP given yet, no Biometrics, no interview. Only have received the NOA so far, and of course I know the $1010 fee is nonrefundable---that could have covered a plane ticket. I am scouting airfares for travel in the next few days---the prices are not bad with 2 or 3 days notice ---running $850 to $990 about for a one-way.

And yes, I hold open the possibility for things to resolve positively, however the chances are slim to none since I will always have to wonder about trust issues. She refuses to discuss any of the issues---the withholding night time romance, the cyber sex activity---hard to resolve when a person will not talk about it. She will learn a valuable lesson, because I think she split with this guy a year ago because he impregnated another while they were dating. I am sure history will repeat itself, and maybe she will realize the opportunity for a better life she is throwing away.

And yes, I know many can be happy even if they do not have much money and have to struggle. If being around family and familiar old friends is her goal and priority, then I guess she can do well with that.

But again, a miracle could happen when there is a resolution---who knows?

[SaddenedNow 5]

I emailed you the translation. She is regreting a lot of things, missing her family, and missing her boyfriend. Her boyfriend also makes her sound like a nympho, but she's denying you so it must be just you that she doesn't like. Ditch her.

Missing home and family I fully understand and am sympathetic towards. Expressing deep love to another the day after our wedding is not excusable to me. And the denying me only started after we were married: prior to that, she engaged in physical romance almost daily, sometimes twice daily. And she enjoyed it. She asked once if I was done, and I said yes, then she said she wasn't so we continued.

Too much information, I know, but she REALLY was into nighttime romance for several months, then it just stopped. Oh well, does not really matter right now.

[SaddenedNow 5]

Ai, ai, ai!

Go to the bottom of this page and find the number for ICE. Call USCIS immediately and send in a notarized affidavit that you are pulling your I-864 because the beneficiary entered into this relationship solely for immigration benefit. Send in copies/translations of those chatlogs for evidence. Then have a glass of Dom Perignon to celebrate her AOS denial.

Good luck and be strong! Don't listen to this Jesus/forgiveness nonsense.

This man's wife has a boyfriend, for eff's sake. She married him for a piece of paper. She told her boyfriend that she loves him the day after she married this USC sucker. She's going to wait for 3 years till she gets her citizenship and then ditch aforementioned sucker to petition her PI lover. You think scum like this deserves a second chance? There's a special place in hell for people like this.

Off topic but this is another train-wreck waiting to happen.

Ai, ai, ai!

Oh, not to worry---as long as I send her off, she will not get her Green Card. Still early in the AOS process, so it will be easy to prevent issuance.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Well, initial translations are in---they apparently enjoy cyber sex on web cam, they both shower 'I love you's' on each other, and they were planning to enjoy sexual activity if she would make a visit in March or April. So, all in all, it is bad. I told her today, 'honey, I think we need you to return to the Philippines. I printed out the summary of the chat, the original chat, and a partial exact translation. She did not say a word, and still has not. I asked 'when are you ready to go?'.

No EAD or AP given yet, no Biometrics, no interview. Only have received the NOA so far, and of course I know the $1010 fee is nonrefundable---that could have covered a plane ticket. I am scouting airfares for travel in the next few days---the prices are not bad with 2 or 3 days notice ---running $850 to $990 about for a one-way.

And yes, I hold open the possibility for things to resolve positively, however the chances are slim to none since I will always have to wonder about trust issues. She refuses to discuss any of the issues---the withholding night time romance, the cyber sex activity---hard to resolve when a person will not talk about it. She will learn a valuable lesson, because I think she split with this guy a year ago because he impregnated another while they were dating. I am sure history will repeat itself, and maybe she will realize the opportunity for a better life she is throwing away.

And yes, I know many can be happy even if they do not have much money and have to struggle. If being around family and familiar old friends is her goal and priority, then I guess she can do well with that.

But again, a miracle could happen when there is a resolution---who knows?

Oh lovely. It appears then she did indeed marry you for fraudulent reasons.

I don't think you should by her ticket home.. but then it's the easiest way to get rid of her, and get rid of her now. Not to mention I'm sure her family probably couldn't afford it. Getting her out now is the safest option in terms of VAWA. Before she leaves, you need to find out what you need to file the divorce. If you can get what you need (like her signature) before she leaves that would be best BUT you need to make sure you aren't left alone with her. She may claim abuse to get a card that way.

I wouldn't even bother to try and salvage the relationship because it doesn't appear that you had a real one to begin with. I'm very very sorry you're going through this. She is a disgusting person.

**Edit - contact USCIS and withdraw your affidavit of support. The will automatically deny her adjustment of status. Also get print out of the logs and forward them to ICE. Make sure you report her so she isn't able to do this to someone else. I mean you didn't have any idea until you found the logs... what if she's more careful next time?

Edited November 16, 2010 by Vanessa&Tony

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Missing home and family I fully understand and am sympathetic towards. Expressing deep love to another the day after our wedding is not excusable to me. And the denying me only started after we were married: prior to that, she engaged in physical romance almost daily, sometimes twice daily. And she enjoyed it. She asked once if I was done, and I said yes, then she said she wasn't so we continued.

Too much information, I know, but she REALLY was into nighttime romance for several months, then it just stopped. Oh well, does not really matter right now.

Women are just as capable as men in having sex outside of love. It's the romantic saps who confuse a hot night of passionate love-making for real love. Lest we forget that we are mammals.

[sachinky 464]

Well, initial translations are in---they apparently enjoy cyber sex on web cam, they both shower 'I love you's' on each other, and they were planning to enjoy sexual activity if she would make a visit in March or April. So, all in all, it is bad. I told her today, 'honey, I think we need you to return to the Philippines. I printed out the summary of the chat, the original chat, and a partial exact translation. She did not say a word, and still has not. I asked 'when are you ready to go?'.

Atta boy!

[Tahoma 2,291]

And yes, I hold open the possibility for things to resolve positively

But again, a miracle could happen when there is a resolution---who knows?

^^^You've got to be kidding! You are being scammed!

she engaged in physical romance almost daily, sometimes twice daily. And she enjoyed it.

^^^News flash: She was faking it!

What part of "scammer" don't you understand?

[sachinky 464]

Contact USCIS and pull your sponsorship. Do it TODAY!

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

Contact USCIS and pull your sponsorship. Do it TODAY!

Yep. if the green card gets issued then the Affidavit of Support is in full effect and she gets what she wanted, the right to legally stay in the US.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Oh, not to worry---as long as I send her off, she will not get her Green Card. Still early in the AOS process, so it will be easy to prevent issuance.

Not if she claims you abused her. She'll call the police on you, have you arrested for assault and get the GC that way. You NEED to report her to ICE. Do it now before she has a chance to accuse you of anything. It will go well in your favour if you "tattled" on her before she had a chance to make a false accusation.

[adiiann 163]

She probably saw an opportunity when she met you online, that would probably why you reached that far (getting married). But because she didn't have real feelings for you, things get worst.

I agree with the advices here to send her back, it will probably save you from more worst things.

So sorry and wish you could find someone better that deserves you. I remember one VJ members (I couldn't remember) post something..... you will really know when a Filipina loves you.