mail order bride

[Missa 0]

i was reading the canadian news on msn.ca and stumbled upon this story in the lifestyles section. i thought it would be nice to share.

i hope the link works

story of a ukrainian mail order bride

cheers

[Nina~ 431]

Interesting article. Thanks for posting.

[gueuze 2]

I thought it would be about Oksana Grigorieva.

[nab 74]

so that's what they mean when they say they want 'old-fashioned' ;-) i always thought that meant like the '50s but this is like cave dwelling days... there might have even been a caveman or two who would've clubbed over a list like this

never leave the house

never possess money

obey all orders

cut contact with family

have sex on command

cook/clean in a specific way

[Boiler 45,314]

How did her Mother immigrate?

[Fandango 1,439]

It's really interesting that the tired old excuse of 'American women have no family values/etc' is so widely used. It's scary imo, because what many of these men want is an obvious imbalance of power and control. While as a member of VJ, it's not really polite to comment with more than a perfunctory 'yay for love, congrats, all the best to you both' when men echo the above sentiment, one has to wonder why in a sea of varied women - all walks of life - it's even logical to have the balls to say how American women aren't family conscious. To me, that's a HUGE red flag which tells me the man either needed the 'buying power' of a GC to 'sweeten the deal' as far as his overall attractiveness/marriageability, or is just some power hungry freak who needs to control his wife's every move.

Either way, for cases like this, I thank God for VAWA and IMBRA.

Edited November 21, 2010 by Lisa C

[nab 74]

It's really interesting that the tired old excuse of 'American women have no family values/etc' is so widely used. It's scary imo, because what many of these men want is an obvious imbalance of power and control. While as a member of VJ, it's not really polite to comment with more than a perfunctory 'yay for love, congrats, all the best to you both' when men echo the above sentiment, one has to wonder why in a sea of varied women - all walks of life - it's even logical to have the balls to say how American women aren't family conscious. To me, that's a HUGE red flag which tells me the man either needed the 'buying power' of a GC to 'sweeten the deal' as far as his overall attractiveness/marriageability, or is just some power hungry freak who needs to control his wife's every move.

Either way, for cases like this, I thank God for VAWA and IMBRA.

Lisa, have you met the most leering, drooling, obvious control freaks on the forums yet

i think i have the mindset down now though....

i'd like a beautiful woman, so beautiful she could have stepped from a magazine (of course then this woman would have NO interest in me)

she must be from a country where she is so desperate to escape that i look good to her

she will do all i say, from cooking, cleaning, and sex on command

she needs to look her best at all times but if she begins knowing how lovely she looks, i will berate her into submission

and so on... if you've ever had to deal with abused women, you'll know the list

it's too bad they dont have the GC picked up at a local office in person by the immigrant and their rights explained to them. for me that would be worth it being a few extra days later (in person pickup rather than mailed) to know my husband knows what to do in this/that situation (not just a domestic situation but also with a police officer and so on). i have that info for him already even though we are not even at that stage.... i want him prepared and to know his rights and his responsibilities. problem is our govt is putting that responsibility on the petitioner who could be a freak and placing the beneficiary at a disadvantage.

[Boiler 45,314]

The story seemed pretty clear.

US Men in their 50's and 50's who wanted a younger/more attractive wife and who were not likely to get one in the US.

Same deal for women going to North Africa.

The lady who wrote the story is obviously not stupid and took the deal. She then found out when she got here she had other opportunities.

[SuperDuper! 230]

The story seemed pretty clear.

US Men in their 50's and 50's who wanted a younger/more attractive wife and who were not likely to get one in the US.

Same deal for women going to North Africa.

The lady who wrote the story is obviously not stupid and took the deal. She then found out when she got here she had other opportunities.

Boiler nails it again!

+1

[Fandango 1,439]

The story seemed pretty clear.

US Men in their 50's and 50's who wanted a younger/more attractive wife and who were not likely to get one in the US.

Same deal for women going to North Africa.

The lady who wrote the story is obviously not stupid and took the deal. She then found out when she got here she had other opportunities.

One can only get a younger/hotter spouse with an equalizer....money, gc, etc. I truly truly believe that under normal circ, like usually attracts like. Which let's face it...the heavier, older men don't want heavier, older women. And vice versa. it sucks, but I believe it to be true.

[Fandango 1,439]

Here's a fine example of misguided 'precaution' that sounds insane. I edited who said it not to be accused of starting a sh!t fling, but I think it's a perfect example of a power struggle gone wrong. Granted, there's infidelity at play in the below scenario,but no one deserves to be treated like this:

Since you are often at work, you won't have the ability to monitor her behavior. I'd say she could do without any contact with the Philippines for a good long time. Not as punishment, but as precaution. It could be hard to do that since you're not home though. You could make sure she doesn't have direct access to the money, and sever her ability to call and text overseas as well. Disable the computer when you're not home (BIOS password). Even with all that, you'll have to take quite a leap of faith in trusting her again.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

One can only get a younger/hotter spouse with an equalizer....money, gc, etc. I truly truly believe that under normal circ, like usually attracts like. Which let's face it...the heavier, older men don't want heavier, older women. And vice versa. it sucks, but I believe it to be true.

Yep, although there are quite a few odd couples out there that are both USC and money, power or status didn't come into play.

[LaL 418]

Yep, although there are quite a few odd couples out there that are both USC and money, power or status didn't come into play.

Yeah, and it's infrequent. It's just not all that infrequent when it comes to immigration.

Edited November 22, 2010 by LaL

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Edited November 23, 2010 by 8TBVBN

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Here's a fine example of misguided 'precaution' that sounds insane. I edited who said it not to be accused of starting a sh!t fling, but I think it's a perfect example of a power struggle gone wrong. Granted, there's infidelity at play in the below scenario,but no one deserves to be treated like this:

i agree and disagree. The reason for these "warnings" in your quoted text is because the poster was conscious of the scammer tying to claim VAWA. The scammer (in the quote) has already been cheating on her husband and it was proven she was professing her love to another the DAY after their wedding.

While I agree in a normal situation that treatment would be abhorrent, the poster you quoted was warning the OP about how to make sure the scammer didn't contact her family/friends in the Philippines to learn how to accuse her husband (the one she's cheating on) of abuse and thus claim VAWA. It wasn't about "control" it was about protecting the OP.