Full Frontal Nudity Doesn’t Make Us Safer: Abolish the TSA

[Obama 2012 1,714]

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http://blogs.forbes.com/artcarden/2010/11/14/full-frontal-nudity-doesnt-make-us-safer-abolish-the-tsa/

The Republicans control the House of Representatives and are bracing for a long battle over the President’s health care proposal. In the spirit of bipartisanship and sanity, I propose that the first thing on the chopping block should be an ineffective organization that wastes money, violates our rights, and encourages us to make decisions that imperil our safety. I’m talking about the Transportation Security Administration.

Bipartisan support should be immediate. For fiscal conservatives, it’s hard to come up with a more wasteful agency than the TSA. For privacy advocates, eliminating an organization that requires you to choose between a nude body scan or genital groping in order to board a plane should be a no-brainer.

But won’t that compromise safety? I doubt it. The airlines have enormous sums of money riding on passenger safety, and the notion that a government bureaucracy has better incentives to provide safe travels than airlines with billions of dollars worth of capital and goodwill on the line strains credibility. This might be beside the point: in 2003, William Anderson incisively argued that some of the steps that airlines (and passengers) would have needed to take to prevent the 9/11 disaster probably would have been illegal.

The odds of dying from a terrorist attack are much lower than the odds of dying from doing any of a number of incredibly mundane things we do every day. You are almost certainly more likely to die or be injured driving to the airport than you are to be injured by a terrorist once you’re in the air, even without a TSA. Indeed, once you have successfully made it to the airport, the most dangerous part of your trip is over. Until it’s time to drive home, that is.

Last week, I picked up a “TSA Customer Comment Card.” First, it’s important that we get one thing straight: I am not the TSA’s “customer.” The term “customer” denotes an honorable relationship in which I and a seller voluntarily trade value for value. There’s nothing voluntary about my relationship with the TSA.

A much more appropriate term for our relationship is “subject.” The TSA stands between me and those with whom I would like to trade, and I am not allowed to without their blessing.

Second, the TSA doesn’t provide security. It provides security theater, as Jeffrey Goldberg argues. The kid with the slushie in Tucson before the three-ounce-rule? The little girl in the princess costume at an airport I don’t remember? The countless grandmothers? I’m more likely to be killed tripping over my own two feet while I’m distracted by the lunacy of it all than I am to be killed by one of them in a terrorist attack. The moral cost of all this is considerable, as James Otteson and Bradley Birzer argue.

For even more theater of the absurd, consider that the TSA screens pilots. If a pilot wants to bring a plane down, he or she can probably do it with bare hands, and certainly without weapons. It’s also not entirely crazy to think that an airline will take measures to keep their pilots from turning their multi-million dollar planes into flying bombs. Through the index funds in my retirement portfolio, I’m pretty sure I own stock in at least one airline, and I’m pretty sure airline managers know that cutting corners on security isn’t in my best interests as a shareholder.

And the items being confiscated? Are nailclippers and aftershave the tools of terrorists? What about the plastic cup of water I was told to dispose of because “it could be acid” (I quote the TSA screener) in New Orleans before the three-ounce rule? What about the can of Coke I was relieved of after a flight from Copenhagen to Atlanta a few months ago? I would be more scared of someone giving a can of Coke to a child and contributing to the onset of juvenile diabetes than of using it to hide something that could compromise the safety of an aircraft.

And finally, most screening devices are ineffective because anyone who is serious about getting contraband on an airplane can smuggle it in a body cavity or a surgical implant. The scanners the TSA uses aren’t going to stop them.

Over the next few years, we’re headed for a bitter, partisan clash over legislative priorities. Before the battle starts, let’s reach for that low-hanging, bipartisan fruit. Let’s abolish the TSA.

[^_^ 5,021]

The airlines have enormous sums of money riding on passenger safety, and the notion that a government bureaucracy has better incentives to provide safe travels than airlines with billions of dollars worth of capital and goodwill on the line strains credibility.

You know, if a foreign occupation force were to take over America, it would hurt our corporations big-time. This is also true for foreign dictators and terror groups who try to acquire nuclear weapons or otherwise plot against American interests at home or overseas - our corporations have real skin in the game and everyone knows they're awash in cash.

So I propose we disband our government-run military and let the corporations defend us. Surely, if we're worth defending we'll be defended. And if we're not, then we deserve it. Who are we to question the will of the Free Market, His will shall be done. Inshallah.

[Obama 2012 1,714]

You know, if a foreign occupation force were to take over America, it would hurt our corporations big-time. This is also true for foreign dictators and terror groups who try to acquire nuclear weapons or otherwise plot against American interests at home or overseas - our corporations have real skin in the game and everyone knows they're awash in cash.

So I propose we disband our government-run military and let the corporations defend us. Surely, if we're worth defending we'll be defended. And if we're not, then we deserve it. Who are we to question the will of the Free Market, His will shall be done. Inshallah.

What transition do you think has been taking place in Iraq? Don't tell the neo-cons about it though, they'll still think we're looking for WMDs

In all seriousness though, hijackings and terrorist plots were just as common 30 years ago as they are today... and 10 years ago we still allowed unticketed passengers into the terminals..... the metal detectors and and baggage x-rays are sufficient enough.

[^_^ 5,021]

What transition do you think has been taking place in Iraq?

Touche.

[^_^ 5,021]

Check this out.

At BWI, I told the officer who directed me to the back-scatter that I preferred a pat-down. I did this in order to see how effective the manual search would be. When I made this request, a number of TSA officers, to my surprise, began laughing. I asked why. One of them -- the one who would eventually conduct my pat-down -- said that the rules were changing shortly, and that I would soon understand why the back-scatter was preferable to the manual search. I asked him if the new guidelines included a cavity search. "No way. You think Congress would allow that?"

I answered, "If you're a terrorist, you're going to hide your weapons in your ####### or your #######." He blushed when I said "#######."

"Yes, but starting tomorrow, we're going to start searching your crotchal area" -- this is the word he used, "crotchal" -- and you're not going to like it."

"What am I not going to like?" I asked.

"We have to search up your thighs and between your legs until we meet resistance," he explained.

"Resistance?" I asked.

"Your testicles," he explained.

'That's funny," I said, "because 'The Resistance' is the actual name I've given to my testicles."

He answered, "Like 'The Situation,' that guy from 'Jersey Shore?'"

Yes, exactly, I said. (I used to call my testicles "The Insurgency," but those ####### in Iraq ruined the term.)

I pointed out to the security officer that 50 percent of the American population has no balls (90 percent in Washington, D.C., where I live), so what is going to happen when the pat-down officer meets no resistance in the crotchal area of women? "If there's no resistance, then there's nothing there."

"But what about people who hide weapons in their cavities? I asked. I actually said "#######" again, just to see him blush. "We're just not going there," he reiterated.

I asked him if he was looking forward to conducting the full-on pat-downs. "Nobody's going to do it," he said, "once they find out that we're going to do."

In other words, people, when faced with a choice, will inevitably choose the #######-Measuring Device over molestation? "That's what we're hoping for. We're trying to get everyone into the machine." He called over a colleague. "Tell him what you call the back-scatter," he said. "The #######-Measuring Device," I said. "That's the truth," the other officer responded.

The pat-down at BWI was fairly vigorous, by the usual tame standards of the TSA, but it was nothing like the one I received the next day at T.F. Green in Providence. Apparently, I was the very first passenger to ask to opt-out of back-scatter imaging. Several TSA officers heard me choose the pat-down, and they reacted in a way meant to make the ordinary passenger feel very badly about his decision. One officer said to a colleague who was obviously going to be assigned to me, "Get new gloves, man, you're going to need them where you're going."

The agent snapped on his blue gloves, and patiently explained exactly where he was going to touch me. I felt like a sophomore at Oberlin.

"I'm going to run my hands up your thighs, and then feel your buttocks, then I'm going to reach under you until I meet --"

"Resistance?" I interrupted.

"Yes, resistance. Do you want to go into a private room?" he asked.

"Are you asking me into a private room?" I said. He looked confused. I said, "No, here is fine."

He felt me up good, but not great. It was not in any way the best pat-down I've ever received. The most thorough search I've ever experienced was in the Bekaa Valley, by Hezbollah security officers. That took quite awhile, and the Resistance really manhandled my Resistance. There was no cavity search, of course -- no magazine story, even one about Hezbollah terrorism -- is worth that. But it was the fairly full Monty.

I draw three lessons from this week's experience: The pat-down, while more effective than previous pat-downs, will not stop dedicated and clever terrorists from smuggling on board small weapons or explosives. When I served as a military policeman in an Israeli army prison, many of the prisoners "bangled" contraband up their asses. I know this not because I checked, but because eventually they told me this when I asked.

The second lesson is that the effectiveness of pat-downs does not matter very much, because the obvious goal of the TSA is to make the pat-down embarrassing enough for the average passenger that the vast majority of people will choose high-tech humiliation over the low-tech ball check.

The third lesson remains constant: By the time terrorist plotters make it to the airport, it is, generally speaking, too late to stop them. Plots must be broken up long before the plotters reach the target. If they are smart enough to make it to the airport without arrest, it is almost axiomatically true that they will be smart enough to figure out a way to bring weapons aboard a plane.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

What happened to the child porn thread?

[AlinaH 38]

A friend of my parents was recently helping his elderly parents through security in an Arizona airport. Since he wasn't flying, he forgot to be as careful as he normally would going through security. He, on a daily basis, carries a box cutter in his pocket. He realized as he was about to go through security that it was still in his pocket, so he simply took it out, put it in one of those little containers with his change. It then went through the scanner...anddd no one said anything or took it away from him. He just simply picked it up with his change and put it back in his pocket. Airport security is worthless.

[spookyturtle 9,466]

A friend of my parents was recently helping his elderly parents through security in an Arizona airport. Since he wasn't flying, he forgot to be as careful as he normally would going through security. He, on a daily basis, carries a box cutter in his pocket. He realized as he was about to go through security that it was still in his pocket, so he simply took it out, put it in one of those little containers with his change. It then went through the scanner...anddd no one said anything or took it away from him. He just simply picked it up with his change and put it back in his pocket. Airport security is worthless.

Airport security is most definitely not worthless. It certainly has it's flaws and holes, but several disasters have been prevented due to increased security. Would you have liked to have been on that plane a two weeks ago if London security hadn't found the explosive device?

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

http://www.breitbart.tv/nude-protest-airport-body-scanners-in-germany/

(Video) May contain inappropriate material.

[spookyturtle 9,466]

http://www.breitbart.tv/nude-protest-airport-body-scanners-in-germany/

(Video) May contain inappropriate material.

They weren't even nude, I'm disappointed.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

They weren't even nude, I'm disappointed.

At least they shaved. Ever seen a German tourist on the beach.