End of the road

[cheeky^Wolf 0]

Sorry to hear of your problems, good luck, I hope you resolve them and both have a happy life.

Helen

[Fandango 1,439]

******* UPDATE ************

Well i have just cancelled the honeymoon and all the flights for friends and family and just called to let her know that there is nothing to worry about.

She asked me how i felt and i said devostated and that i still loved her and wanted to be with her and that this was so tough.

She agreed and said that she still wanted to marry me and felt the same but not just yet, she said it was all just too much too soon.

I said ok but what do we do now? we cannot continue a long distance relationship as its just to hard after two years of being apart, we are both on the verge of a nervous breakdown!

As i could earn enough money for us both to live on here in the UK we are talking about spending 6 months together over here or maybe up till Jan. No promises and we are both thinking this over.

The reason i say all this and tell my story is because i think people on here should know about the hard times and not just the joy of getting a visa. Ever since i got it our relationship went down hill due to the fact that it became real. We were going to get married and she had enjoyed all the plans and dresses. I think its something we should all think about.

One step at a time.... for us. I love her and she loves me and everything is fine when we are together its the distance which is the hard part.

Dre, this is a really mature way of handling this horrible situation....you both are being upfront and honest, and as you two still want to be together, so it's only a matter of figuring out what that is. I love the way you're both trying to work at this together, it shows the bond of love! As everyone has said, the visa is good for 6 months, so all is not lost. I think the fact that your fiance is having reservations may just be a result of cold feet....usually a wedding is enough stress, but add to a pending immigration and it can be quite overwhelming.

You two love each other and want to be together, so I hope you both can fight through this AWFUL fking distance problem. It's shiznit, we all feel it....D and I have 'freaked out' over the distance on more than one occassion....when you feel you just don't have the strength to go on because you miss 'having a real life'. But we always have fought through those feelings because our eye is on the prize and just when we think we can't take it anymore, we find the strength to go on because it's such a once in a lifetime love.

I hope and pray that your fiance get the time she needs to resolve her anxiety, and at the same time, you both are together soon enough to give you the strength to remember what it is you're fighting for. Nothing good comes easy. Trite, but true! Hang in there you both can make it if you perservere!

Wish you both much

Edited August 23, 2006 by LisaD

[Madame-Butterfly 0]

all the best.

[rebeccajo 14]

You know, I'm really glad she's considering going to visit with you. Has she been there before?

It meant a lot to me - to go and actually see my husband's world. What he came from and what he was giving up. And it helped me to understand him a bit better culturally. Like us, you and she are both english-speakers, but there are still differences.

At the end of the day, she may also decide she wants to live there. Had I not had parental responsibilities here in the US, I would have much preferred to live in Northern Ireland. While one is young and before the burden of children is a wonderful time - consider all the possibilities you two have with two continents before you. It's actually one of the 'pluses' of this type of relationship.

Please keep us posted. Marriage isn't about the fancy dresses, the caterers, the honeymoon and all that. Oh it's fun and I guess to a younger woman it's important. But it's really about what you will bring to each others lives as people. Good luck to you both.

[JenT 0]

You know, I'm really glad she's considering going to visit with you. Has she been there before?

It meant a lot to me - to go and actually see my husband's world. What he came from and what he was giving up. And it helped me to understand him a bit better culturally. Like us, you and she are both english-speakers, but there are still differences.

At the end of the day, she may also decide she wants to live there. Had I not had parental responsibilities here in the US, I would have much preferred to live in Northern Ireland. While one is young and before the burden of children is a wonderful time - consider all the possibilities you two have with two continents before you. It's actually one of the 'pluses' of this type of relationship.

Please keep us posted. Marriage isn't about the fancy dresses, the caterers, the honeymoon and all that. Oh it's fun and I guess to a younger woman it's important. But it's really about what you will bring to each others lives as people. Good luck to you both.

Well said, 'Becca. My having gone over there to see David was the best thing I could have done. To see him in his environment, among his friends and family, how he kept his house, etc.. told me more about him in 10 days and I could have ever learned in the same timeframe of emails and phone calls. It's SO important to see each other in the other's environment before making such a big commitment.

[desert_fox 32]

It is so difficult for one of the persons to give up an existing life and move to a strange place with nothing but uncertancy. Its a very difficut decision and a major adjustment to make for both involved. I always felt guilty that my wife had to give up a confortable lifestyle and come here and basically start all over again. Now she cant wait to get over here as she is now going thru a family tradegy which will take alot of time to get over when she returns.

Dont burn any bridges behind you just yet, as someone pointed out, that you visa is good for six months should there be a change.

good luck

Mike

[Mew 0]

I agree with Becca, Jen and desert fox. If you make it work and she ends up spending time with you, I guess it'd be wise not to cancel the K1 visa, just to keep your options open - it's good for 6 months. So... maybe you could attent the interview anyway? Just throwing ideas... I wish you guys all the best and I can see that you're handling the situation in a very mature way.

[drelewis 0]

You know, I'm really glad she's considering going to visit with you. Has she been there before?

It meant a lot to me - to go and actually see my husband's world. What he came from and what he was giving up. And it helped me to understand him a bit better culturally. Like us, you and she are both english-speakers, but there are still differences.

At the end of the day, she may also decide she wants to live there. Had I not had parental responsibilities here in the US, I would have much preferred to live in Northern Ireland. While one is young and before the burden of children is a wonderful time - consider all the possibilities you two have with two continents before you. It's actually one of the 'pluses' of this type of relationship.

Please keep us posted. Marriage isn't about the fancy dresses, the caterers, the honeymoon and all that. Oh it's fun and I guess to a younger woman it's important. But it's really about what you will bring to each others lives as people. Good luck to you both.

Well said, 'Becca. My having gone over there to see David was the best thing I could have done. To see him in his environment, among his friends and family, how he kept his house, etc.. told me more about him in 10 days and I could have ever learned in the same timeframe of emails and phone calls. It's SO important to see each other in the other's environment before making such a big commitment.

She has been over5 times in 2 years once for 6 weeks and she loves it here lets hope we can sort it!!

[JenT 0]

Sounds as though there still is hope.

Where there is hope, there is no ending.

Best wishes,

Jen

[PlatyPius 5]

She has been over5 times in 2 years once for 6 weeks and she loves it here lets hope we can sort it!!

Have you been over here? I told you the "bad" about Greenwood in PM, but there's good too. "OldTown" Greenwood is small and quaint. To the west of Greenwood, the houses are typically on large tree-covered lots. Just south of Greenwood is Whiteland/New Whiteland. One is on one side of US31, the other on the other. They couldn't agree on something at one time, so became separate towns. They're tiny little places; barely villages. Farther south (9 miles from Greenwood) is Franklin; home of Franklin College. Franklin is a gorgeous little town. Just north of Greenwood is Southport. And just beyond that; Indianapolis.

For shopping, Greenwood has all you could ever want. Entertainment-wise.... there is some, yes. But it's only a few minutes to Indy, so your options are limitless really.

I hope you two are able to work it out. She's already been there several times. Maybe you could come here for a bit? Does your work allow leave? Do you have any vacation left? You should be able to travel here on the VWP and not use your K1 visa yet. Just a thought. Best of luck to you - both of you.

[matako 0]

Instead of wasting the visa, I would look for another lonely person and ask the embassy to remove the visa from one passport and place it on the other person's passport and life will go on just as fine.

Edited August 23, 2006 by Majizee

[Tim and Bethanie 1]

I am so sorry to read this. I agree with most of what has been posted here. The stress of all of this can truly get a person down. Give it some time, don't cancel your visa and see how things get on. Going to go a long with Cian you should come spend some time here with her. Maybe being together again the stress will melt away and things can be seen in a different light. I wish you both the best.

Bethanie

Instead of wasting the visa, I would look for another lonely person and ask the embassy to remove the visa from one passport and place it on the other person's passport and life will go on just as fine.

He wasn't getting the visa for a free pass to America! Believe it or not there are countries out there worth living in! Where do you people crawl out of? Never mind don't bother answering I see the answer myself. Edited August 23, 2006 by Tim and Bethanie

[PlatyPius 5]

The Troll Said:

Instead of wasting the visa, I would look for another lonely person and ask the embassy to remove the visa from one passport and place it on the other person's passport and life will go on just as fine.

You're kidding, right?

Either you're kidding or you've found a big baggy of mary jane and aren't sharing with the rest of us.....

Edited August 23, 2006 by Cian

[Tim and Bethanie 1]

The Troll Said:

Instead of wasting the visa, I would look for another lonely person and ask the embassy to remove the visa from one passport and place it on the other person's passport and life will go on just as fine.

You're kidding, right?

Either you're kidding or you've found a big baggy of mary jane and aren't sharing with the rest of us.....

*Sigh*

[heishe 2]

Instead of wasting the visa, I would look for another lonely person and ask the embassy to remove the visa from one passport and place it on the other person's passport and life will go on just as fine.

lulz