Mosque and Marriage

[Peace.... 281]

I have heard, that the Mosque will not marry you unless you go through pre-marriage counseling with the Imam. Is this correct? I heard it can be somewhat tricky with the questions and answers that the couple is asked, and then the Imam determines if he will marry you or not depending on your answers Anyone out there, know what they ask the couples???? BTW, we also are planning a small wedding as well besides the blessing of the mosque.

[Mithra 1,185]

Depends on the mosque. You should probably contact a mosque or mosques in your area to inquire. I know people who have had counseling and some who haven't. Are you of a different faith than your intended?

[Mithra 1,185]

Couldn't edit - I meant to clarify - the people that I know who didn't need counseling are people I know in real life and I am close with. Just saying that since you often don't get all of the story with online people.

[Peace.... 281]

Depends on the mosque. You should probably contact a mosque or mosques in your area to inquire. I know people who have had counseling and some who haven't. Are you of a different faith than your intended?

Yep, I am christian and he is muslim. So i was assuming the whole thing about pre-counseling may be something we have to do. When he gets here, I am off that Friday and I am taking him to the only mosque that is close about 30 min away from me. I had mentioned to him after Friday's prayer, maybe we could go inside the office that is attached to the mosque and inquire about the marriage and what is needed.

[Samoray 165]

Yep, I am christian and he is muslim. So i was assuming the whole thing about pre-counseling may be something we have to do. When he gets here, I am off that Friday and I am taking him to the only mosque that is close about 30 min away from me. I had mentioned to him after Friday's prayer, maybe we could go inside the office that is attached to the mosque and inquire about the marriage and what is needed.

I don't know if it is even possible to do it at a mosque since you're a christian and he's a muslim

[momof1 205]

I don't know if it is even possible to do it at a mosque since you're a christian and he's a muslim

why wouldn't they? Muslim men(and muslim women according to a small minority) are allowed to marry jews and christians.

[Samoray 165]

why wouldn't they? Muslim men(and muslim women according to a small minority) are allowed to marry jews and christians.

Yes i know, i meant that it's usually done at court not at the mosque if the woman is not a Muslim, at least that's how they do it in Egypt but maybe it's different in the US

[Peace.... 281]

Yes i know, i meant that it's usually done at court not at the mosque if the woman is not a Muslim, at least that's how they do it in Egypt but maybe it's different in the US

I guess it all depends....I will call our local mosque and set up an appt. and talk with someone. Here is what someone else sent me on personal messenger re: marriage / mosque

Congratulations on your upcoming marriage. May Allah make it happy, blessed and fruitful.

An Islamic wedding should be held either at the local mosque (many mosques have large rooms or halls for lectures, dinners, weddings and other events), or more commonly at another location such as a hotel, a park, etc. The ceremony should be officiated by the local Imam (the local Muslim religious leader). He will recite from the Qur'an and give a short talk about marriage, and then he will ask you both if you accept one another as husband and wife.

Ideally your parents, especially your father, should be there to assent also. The groom should pay you a marriage gift or dowry (what we call a mahr in Arabic). It can be money or anything of significant value, but should be an amount agreed on by both of you. The Imam might also present you with a religious marriage certificate to sign. Both of you will sign it, the Imam will sign it, and it will be signed by at least two Muslim witnesses.

As a final note, since you are a Christian I think it's important that you and your future husband discuss the issue of religious practices in the home. Your husband may expect the house to be maintained as an Islamic environment (for example, no alcohol, no pork, no un-Islamic symbols or images on the walls). Almost certainly he will expect that any children the two of you have together will be raised as Muslims. I think it's important to discuss these issues and even put them in writing so that there will be no misunderstandings or conflicts later on.

Best wishes

[Peace.... 281]

Just for future reference for those wondering about marriage/mosque in the U.S. These are some personal messages I have received via VJ.

#1

I am a revert and married to a man from Morocco. In the states because they are most often built as Islamic Centers allow non-Muslims into the building. Call first to ask but their is usually no problem. A woman does not have to convert to Islam to marry a Muslim man. I know of women in the states that have married Muslim men in the Mosque though they are not Muslims, but a stip. has always been that you have to have a legal marriage before they will marry you in a mosque because they are trying to protect both parties.

When it comes to marriage in Morocco. It is very hard to get married in Morocco period. Then man has to have a heath exam, dowery, other things, it can be very drawn out. But you can get married Islamically (you do not have to go to a mosque all you need is an Imam). I was married in Morocco, I was already a revert, and we had been married for 2yrs, but we did not have a legal marriage in Morocco (we almost did, but it was going to be a drawn out and complicating ordeal, so we had the party).

#2

I haven't come across a mosque in the US or Canada that won't allow a non-Muslim inside. In fact, many have said "call us first, but come visit, see what we're REALLY about."

[ErikaAndHamit 73]

We married no problems....no counseling...all the imam seemed to care about was the $150 "donation" to marry us lol I asked if I could pay a little less since I couldn't really afford that amount and he says no! Whatever, we got a pretty certificate out of it!

[Samoray 165]

I think they do it at court in Egypt if the couple has different religion and/or one of them is not Egyptian for legal purposes and stuff but not because they don't allow non-Muslims in Mosques

Good Luck Foreverwaiting i hope everything goes well and congratulations for your marriage

[Mithra 1,185]

The couple that I know who got married in a mosque here were of mixed religion, also. They went to one mosque and were turned down because she was not properly dressed (no hijab) plus they did require counseling. The second mosque they went to didn't require counseling nor did they require her to wear hijab. The imam was more liberal and the mosque wasn't a traditional "mosque". It was mainly used for marriages, divorces, conversions and other "business". Anyways, just be prepared in case the mosque requires full cover.

[Peace.... 281]

I think they do it at court in Egypt if the couple has different religion and/or one of them is not Egyptian for legal purposes and stuff but not because they don't allow non-Muslims in Mosques

Good Luck Foreverwaiting i hope everything goes well and congratulations for your marriage

Thanks!!!! I can't wait to start my life with him......

[peenkhartz 1]

hi, I am muslim and for the person who said that they charged her at a mosque to get married, they are not suppose to charge you its suppose to be free at charge because the imam is suppose to be doing it for Allah not for us so that imam was wrong for charging. My husband and I got married at a mosque for free and even gave us a certificate for when we go to saudi arabia for hajj for free. And also you do have to be fully covered when you go to the mosque wearing hijab and covered and oh yeah also you will need a wally if your father is not muslim then he cannot be your wally, your wally must be a father figure and must be muslim but dont worry if you dont have this even the imam can do this for you or someone from the mosque and dont let them charge you for it because its suppose to be free

goodluck and i hope you guys have a great wedding and may allah bless your marriage.

*Amirah*

[ErikaAndHamit 73]

He did charge and at the time I was a bit broke and asked if I could "donate" less and he kept smiling and says no. I was like, um, ok. It was awkward. I only asked if I could donate less as he called it a "suggested donation" when in fact to me it seemed like a straight out fee. Oh well, whatever. He never even got up from his desk to marry us and suddenly grabbed two random guys as a witness, both students named Muhammed from Africa. It should have been more official for $150 if you ask me. I don't think he was a "true" Muslim in my opinion. He didn't ask if my father was Muslim-he just assumed as my last name sounds middle eastern, more so than my own husbands. So....wish I could have told him that wasn't fair of him, but I was too embarrassed.

Edited November 15, 2010 by ErikaAndHamit