WTF! I cannot believe she said that!!!

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Yeah, I'm okay with the changes, but I've already been through this with two daughters. For Lena, this is her ONLY child and so she obsesses about everything. Plus, she's a Ukrainian mother, enough said.

He just returned after a two day absence in which he wasted more money. I figure it will be a 3 to 5 month experiment on his part and he will either succeed or fail. I am expecting the latter as he has not shown an ability to manage money and his hours are going to be cut back now that the holiday season has passed. I will ask him to review what he is doing before he makes the decision, but his tendency has been to do what he wants and not think about consequences. So, it's sink or swim for him.

If you mean Ukrainian mothers are concerned about their children...yeah, no doubt. If you mean they are easy on them, I would never say that.

We haven't given the boys much choice, we do not consider their education finished until they have a masters degree (at least)so don't even think about any other nonsense. We agree on this and so far we are on number 3 of 4. Anything less than a perfect grade is not acceptable. I don't mean an "A", I mean an "A" with a score of 100! I actually think the pressure is a bit too intense sometimes. But so far the boys have managed. I have been working with both of them on money things and handling money, making goals, etc. I have Pasha working for me now, doing some of my reports, etc. Sergey had a summer job and so did Pasha and this year Pasha will have more hours (he has been told by his employer, a drive-in theatre) Plus they both did the auto purchase/fix-up/sell business with me for a while. Pasha is saving to buy a car this spring and will probably have enough to get a fairly good used car.

Does her son show any interest in learning how to manage money? Is it something you can help him with, maybe farm out some work to him. Sometimes we can help them out with a little guidance or strong shove in the right direction.

If he sinks are you going to be there to bail him out?

We would be. Our kids won't be homeless or go without food. But the secret is to be sure to TEACH them to swim...then they don't sink.

[1HappyGuy 45]

If he sinks are you going to be there to bail him out?

That's why I want him to try living on his own in our city. The costs to me will be much less, but it will be a different situation for him if that happens. From that point on, he will have to listen to us and do as we say. That's why I said sink or swim. I hope he will succeed, but so far he has resisted my words of advice and is in that mind set that we don't know a thing and he knows it all.

If you mean Ukrainian mothers are concerned about their children...yeah, no doubt. If you mean they are easy on them, I would never say that.

I definitely meant that Ukrainian mothers are very concerned about their children. Sorry, I thought everyone knew that.

We haven't given the boys much choice, we do not consider their education finished until they have a masters degree (at least)so don't even think about any other nonsense. We agree on this and so far we are on number 3 of 4. Anything less than a perfect grade is not acceptable. I don't mean an "A", I mean an "A" with a score of 100! I actually think the pressure is a bit too intense sometimes. But so far the boys have managed. I have been working with both of them on money things and handling money, making goals, etc. I have Pasha working for me now, doing some of my reports, etc. Sergey had a summer job and so did Pasha and this year Pasha will have more hours (he has been told by his employer, a drive-in theatre) Plus they both did the auto purchase/fix-up/sell business with me for a while. Pasha is saving to buy a car this spring and will probably have enough to get a fairly good used car.

He talks about getting a new car but hasn't made any effort to put money aside. He's too much into partying.

Does her son show any interest in learning how to manage money? Is it something you can help him with, maybe farm out some work to him. Sometimes we can help them out with a little guidance or strong shove in the right direction.

I spent some time taking his bank statement and creating an excel spreadsheet showing where his money was going to get him interested in understanding what he's doing. It was like, "Oh, that's interesting." I've been trying to tell him what he needs to understand about costs and budgeting his money, but he seems to think he has found the money tree. Well, after this economy the money tree is dead.

We would be. Our kids won't be homeless or go without food. But the secret is to be sure to TEACH them to swim...then they don't sink.

That's why I'm willing to let him sink or swim. He needs to learn hard lessons since he obviously isn't willing to learn easy ones now. For most of his life he never had to think about money and when he first got a job the money he made was for his use only. His mother never asked him to help out at home. When he started working here, the money was so little it barely covered his little bit of use. But as he has started making more American friends the spending has increased. So now I'm waiting until he has to deal with the reality of his commitments. Then, if we bail him out, he will return to the house under very strict rules which will require him to save money and cut down on the partying. It's like so many movie lines, "We can do this the easy way or the hard way. It's up to you/"

[slim 1,525]

Good luck with all that. I tried that with my wife and she's still swimming!

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

That's why I want him to try living on his own in our city. The costs to me will be much less, but it will be a different situation for him if that happens. From that point on, he will have to listen to us and do as we say. That's why I said sink or swim. I hope he will succeed, but so far he has resisted my words of advice and is in that mind set that we don't know a thing and he knows it all.

That's why I'm willing to let him sink or swim. He needs to learn hard lessons since he obviously isn't willing to learn easy ones now. For most of his life he never had to think about money and when he first got a job the money he made was for his use only. His mother never asked him to help out at home. When he started working here, the money was so little it barely covered his little bit of use. But as he has started making more American friends the spending has increased. So now I'm waiting until he has to deal with the reality of his commitments. Then, if we bail him out, he will return to the house under very strict rules which will require him to save money and cut down on the partying. It's like so many movie lines, "We can do this the easy way or the hard way. It's up to you/"

I certainly wish you the best of luck.