reasons for having sex influence satisfaction

[Amby 490]

Sexual satisfaction is usually thought of in terms of number of orgasms and time spent between the sheets. But a new study finds that a person's reasons for doing the deed can influence how satisfied they are afterward.

The research, reported online Oct. 22 in the journal Archives of Sexual Behavior, finds that both men and women are more satisfied when having sex out of love and commitment, while mercenary types don't have much fun in bed — having sex to get material goods or to get ahead was associated with a less satisfying experience.

Most research on sexual function and satisfaction focuses on arousal and orgasm, said study researcher Kyle Stephenson, a Ph.D candidate in the laboratory of University of Texas at Austin psychologist Cindy Meston. But people have sex for diverse reasons, not just for physical pleasure, Stephenson said. "What we wanted to do was just really to cast a wide net and see which [reasons] were associated with people being satisfied with their sex lives," Stephenson told LiveScience.

The researchers asked 544 college-aged men and women, most of them heterosexual, to take surveys on their sexual motivations and satisfaction.

Men who had sex to raise their self-esteem were less satisfied, as were men who had sex to get goods, favors or other resources.

Women had a broader range of associations, the researchers found. The connection between love/commitment and satisfaction was less strong for women than for men, though it was still present. Women who had sex to express something to their partner, like gratitude or apology, were also more satisfied.

Like men, women who had sex to acquire a self-esteem or resource boost were less satisfied. Having sex to have a new and exciting experience was also associated with less satisfaction.

Sex in context

The researchers aren't sure why more factors influenced women's satisfaction than men's. It may be that women play the sexual gatekeeper in many relationships, Stephenson said, so their motivations for sex are more likely to result in actual sex.

The next step, Stephenson said, is to look into how these motives play into people's level of distress over sexual dysfunction. Someone who has sex for love versus physical pleasure, for example, may be less worried if they don't orgasm regularly. The researchers also hope to expand the research beyond college students and into the wider population.

"[sex] really is tied in with so many different variables related to the individual and the relationship and the larger culture," Stephenson said. "To come up with ways to think about sex as a science and as a society, it's important to at least attempt to understand these complex relationships."

http://www.livescience.com/health/sex-satisfaction-depends-motive-101105.html

[thongd4me 69]

The connection between love/commitment and satisfaction was less strong for women than for men,

I guess that bursts the bubble of women being thought of as having more "romance in their pants."

[Amby 490]

I guess that bursts the bubble of women being thought of as having more "romance in their pants."

I think sex without love/commitment turns out to be lots of fun and very satisfying. I think one night stands are the most satisfying because you can be super crazy and never see the person again

[thongd4me 69]

I think sex without love/commitment turns out to be lots of fun and very satisfying.

I think one night stands are the most satisfying because you can be super crazy

and never see the person again

Weighing the former & the latter, I think the latter wins hands down

[Nagishkaw 510]

Do people really need a reason to ** ?

[Amby 490]

Weighing the former & the latter, I think the latter wins hands down

there's more to it...

good in bed = consider seeing again

bad in bed = never speak to them again

[Amby 490]

Do people really need a reason to ** ?

some people do! I worked on a study for school and people had all sorts of reasons they did and didn't have sex. some people are really serious about it and others do it just for fun. sometimes people do it because they're bored and it fills time.

[slim 1,525]

My personal favorite is when the ladies give it up because someone is their friend's boyfriend. "See! I told you I could get him to hit this."

[Amby 490]

My personal favorite is when the ladies give it up because someone is their friend's boyfriend. "See! I told you I could get him to hit this."

A lot of my friends have sex with guys cos they feel they owe them for taking them to dinner or going away for the weekend. Even if they're "just friends". I have one friend (she's in her early 40s) who called me a few weeks ago after spending the weekend with a guy she's been friends with for years. She said she wasn't really interested in having sex with him but he was so nice to her and took her out to do all this stuff (she had a really great time) she felt like she had to sleep with him.