finacee wants to return to Ukraine

[Brother Hesekiel 2,236]

If I decided to buy a used car and on the test drive find out it's nothing but a bag of problems, I'm glad I can return it before paying for sales tax and registration. Problems at this point of your relationship, with parents having more influence than the husband-to-be, is a recipe for disaster.

Just my personal 2 cents. For me, the buck would stop right here.

[pushbrk 12,901]

I have two questions:

My fiancée is here with me in US with her K-1 set to expire on December 8th. I have everything lined up for the marriage ceremony on November 27th. The short story is her parents gave me their blessings for marriage when I visited them in Ukraine but now they are against us marrying. My fiancée was still ready to go through with the marriage but we had an argument a few days ago and now is bent on returning to Ukraine. The parents say the only way they will approve marriage is if we marry in Ukraine. Having her return to Ukraine, marrying in Ukraine and filing a K3 is not a smart move in my opinion. There is no guarantee they would issue a visa and it could take a long time. I am urging her to marry here and then we can return to Ukraine for a church ceremony with her family. Any advice please to get through to her?

Second question: If we marry here in USA can we still register in Ukraine to satisfy the parents and family?

The expiration date of her K1 visa has no bearing on anything once she arrives. She must either legally marry you in the USA within 90 days of her arrival her or leave the USA. K1 is a single entry visa. If she leaves for any reason before marriage followed by application for and receipt of advance parole (should be filed with adjustment of status) she will not be allowed to return to the USA.

These are the terms of the visa you petitioned for and she applied for and received. When you filed the petition, there would have been a signed letter of intent from each of you indicating your freedom and willingness to marry in the USA within 90 days of her entry.

[Knoll 1]

Thank you all for your advice and information.

I agree with most that the most sensible thing to do is to marry here, THEN go to Ukraine (after receiving the green card in 2-3 months or so) and have the full blown church ceremony, or whatever, so that everyone is happy. I too am puzzled why my fiancee can't seem to understand this. The mother seems to have a lot of control on her daughter and her decisions.

Of course I would never prevent her from returning to Ukraine, don't be silly. She is free to return. If she chooses to return, I will probably take that as a sign that she is not interested in me and wants to end the relationship. Although she talks about getting married in Ukraine I am not keen on this approach after all we have been through these past two years and the K-1 process. There is so much uncertainty doing this and it is not a good idea I think to be registered in a country where you have no plans to live.

TK Noll

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Is it possible that they - your fiancee and her parents - do not understand that if she returns to the Ukraine to get married she will not be allowed to return to the US until you go through a whole different visa process which will take at least another year? It may be that they are under the impression that she can return immediately to the US once she is married in the Ukraine. They may not realize they get to keep her and house her for another year even though she is married. It could be a simple misunderstanding of the facts of the situation, that the current visa isn't transferable and can't be used again. Does your fiancee want to spend a whole other year away from you living in the Ukraine while you are living in the US?

Edited November 14, 2010 by Kathryn41

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Is it possible that they - your fiancee and her parents - do not understand that if she returns to the Ukraine to get married she will not be allowed to return to the US until you go through a whole different visa process which will take at least another year? It may be that they are under the impression that she can return immediately to the US once she is married in the Ukraine. They may not realize they get to keep her and house her for another year even though she is married. It could be a simple misunderstanding of the facts of the situation, that the current visa isn't transferable and can't be used again. Does your fiancee want to spend a whole other year away from you living in the Ukraine while you are living in the US?

Agreed. I do not think they realise that she will be unable to return to the US for some time while she awaits another visa. That if she leaves before marrying she will need to do a CR-1 visa and stay in the Ukraine for another year or so. You'd be surprised how many people have no idea about immigration. Some think the simple fact of MARRYING a US citizen gives you all these rights to travel etc... a lot of my husbands family and friends think that way

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Agreed. I do not think they realise that she will be unable to return to the US for some time while she awaits another visa. That if she leaves before marrying she will need to do a CR-1 visa and stay in the Ukraine for another year or so. You'd be surprised how many people have no idea about immigration. Some think the simple fact of MARRYING a US citizen gives you all these rights to travel etc... a lot of my husbands family and friends think that way

My own family thought that! They thought the reason she had to wait to come here was because "the Soviet Union" wasn't letting her leave!

Um, no Mom, it is the USA that won't let her IN! "What????????!!!!!!!!!!"

[C and Lore 3]

I recommend that you convince her to marry now. File AOS and travel authorization then travel back. That way she'll be able to go back as she wishes, you can have a ceremony there and she can come back without the long delay of time. I'd make sure you explain to her the time you'll both be apart if she doesn't follow this. Hopefully after cooling down she'll realize the difference in time. Typically the travel auth takes 3 months to get. 3 months vs 8-9 months...seems easy to me. :-)

[baron555 934]

Thank you all for your advice and information.

I agree with most that the most sensible thing to do is to marry here, THEN go to Ukraine (after receiving the green card in 2-3 months or so) and have the full blown church ceremony, or whatever, so that everyone is happy. I too am puzzled why my fiancee can't seem to understand this. The mother seems to have a lot of control on her daughter and her decisions.

Of course I would never prevent her from returning to Ukraine, don't be silly. She is free to return. If she chooses to return, I will probably take that as a sign that she is not interested in me and wants to end the relationship. Although she talks about getting married in Ukraine I am not keen on this approach after all we have been through these past two years and the K-1 process. There is so much uncertainty doing this and it is not a good idea I think to be registered in a country where you have no plans to live.

TK Noll

If you want, PM me and I can have my Alla call her and explain these things to her, about the need to marry here or risk being away from each other for another year while a new visa, CR-1, is obtained. You have to explain this to her, show her where to get the information, and may need to repeat yourself.