finacee wants to return to Ukraine

[Knoll 1]

I have two questions:

My fiancée is here with me in US with her K-1 set to expire on December 8th. I have everything lined up for the marriage ceremony on November 27th. The short story is her parents gave me their blessings for marriage when I visited them in Ukraine but now they are against us marrying. My fiancée was still ready to go through with the marriage but we had an argument a few days ago and now is bent on returning to Ukraine. The parents say the only way they will approve marriage is if we marry in Ukraine. Having her return to Ukraine, marrying in Ukraine and filing a K3 is not a smart move in my opinion. There is no guarantee they would issue a visa and it could take a long time. I am urging her to marry here and then we can return to Ukraine for a church ceremony with her family. Any advice please to get through to her?

Second question: If we marry here in USA can we still register in Ukraine to satisfy the parents and family?

[Anh map 2,098]

Married is married. Depending on if Ukraine law recognizes the US marriage you wouldn't have anything to register. You could still have a ceremony/party/event for the family in Ukraine.

If she does not marry now and leaves prior to the expiration of the I-94 there ought not be problems to do a CR1 petition after a marriage in Ukraine.

[easyukraine 1]

I would say it was just her slavic blood boiling a little. give her a couple days and she if she still wants to go back. as long as she returns before the visa expires shouldn't be a problem. I hope she realizes how long it will take for her to return. one word of caution, I had a friend in a similar situation but the mother just wanted to extort money from him. the lady in this case was devastated to find out her mother lied to her and eventually resulted in a break up. I wish you luck

[hgdfjdfghgfr 0]

I would say the best choices for you now is to get a marriage license here first(whether you have a ceremony yet or not), then you could go to Ukraine and have a ceremony for her family after you get your authorized travel document or green card when applying for AOS. Going there and starting a whole new process through the k-3 after already doing the k-1 is not something your going to want to do. In my situation I just had a ceremony in my wife's country first out of respect to her family before we left her country, but nothing official, just the ceremony. Then we got our official marriage certificate here in America.I would do everything possible to keep her to stay until then. My wife really wants to go back to Brazil to visit her family, but she also know that once we get our Authorized travel document and Green card we can go back to Brazil and visit anytime we want. Everything takes patience!!

Edited November 7, 2010 by ajcoyote

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I have two questions:

My fiancée is here with me in US with her K-1 set to expire on December 8th. I have everything lined up for the marriage ceremony on November 27th. The short story is her parents gave me their blessings for marriage when I visited them in Ukraine but now they are against us marrying. My fiancée was still ready to go through with the marriage but we had an argument a few days ago and now is bent on returning to Ukraine. The parents say the only way they will approve marriage is if we marry in Ukraine. Having her return to Ukraine, marrying in Ukraine and filing a K3 is not a smart move in my opinion. There is no guarantee they would issue a visa and it could take a long time. I am urging her to marry here and then we can return to Ukraine for a church ceremony with her family. Any advice please to get through to her?

Second question: If we marry here in USA can we still register in Ukraine to satisfy the parents and family?

If you are married in the US you are married. You could have an Orthodox ceremony in Ukraine IF the Orthodox church would go for it. Ukraine does not recognize "reigious" marriages and couples that have a "church wedding" also have to have a "civil wedding". The church usually wants you to do the civil marriage first (or US marriage) In other words, they like to be the "last word" on the matter.

As far as anything else, that is your call. There would be no reason a visa would not be issued. In practice the K-3 is gone. You would apply for a CR-1.

FYI her K-1 visa does not "expire" It is cancelled upon entry to the US. She needs to get married before the expiration date of her I-94 in order to adjust staus from the K-1 visa.

If you get married on the K-1 here, she will not be able to return to Ukraine until she has a green card or AP which comes AFTER you file for AOS. If you go with your option, make it very clear to her (and her family) that you will not be returning to Ukraine in the immediate future, it will be 2-3 months, minimum, after you get married here.

[sachinky 465]

The K-1 expired the moment she set foot on US soil.

The expiry date refers to the validity of the visa--that is, she could've used it to enter the US (for the first time) till December 8.

If she returns now without filing for AOS, you will have to marry her in Ukraine and file for the CR-1. That will take at least 8 months to process.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Married is married. Depending on if Ukraine law recognizes the US marriage you wouldn't have anything to register. You could still have a ceremony/party/event for the family in Ukraine.

If she does not marry now and leaves prior to the expiration of the I-94 there ought not be problems to do a CR1 petition after a marriage in Ukraine.

You are correct. FYI Ukraine does recognize licensed US marriages and will not register a Ukrainian religious marriage IF you have been previously married in the US. They WILL register the woman as being married (on her internal passport) if you want.

Ukraine does not recognize religious marriages of any kind (US marriages are considered "civil" since they have to be licensed by the government) so they could get married in the Orthodox Church. The Orthodox Church, on the other hand, does not recognize civil marriages. If the issue is based on the religious beliefs of her family, they should have no problem (purely religiously speaking) with the couple getting married in the US (an "unofficial" marriage) and getting married by the church in Ukraine. They may have an objection to them living as "married people" (read : sex!) without the blessing of the church.

My guess is the parents gave the blessing to their daughter on the basis that she would be marrying an American and moving to the US, which is all fine and dandy and then flipped out when they realized she would be living/sleeping with him without marriage. I could be wrong but that is my guess.

Ukraine is probably at least as "religious" a country as the USA, which is to say there are some strong believers in Religion, but most do what they want 6 days a week and go to confession on Sunday.

As far as his fiancee goes, obviously she understood the deal and may just be throwing a tantrum (oh, they CAN do it!) but I hope she isn't going to be threatening to "run home to Ukraine" every time she doesn't get her way.

[twowls 217]

I would have the wedding, keep it private, and tell the family you'll be coming back in a few months for the "wedding." Everybody's covered.

Having to go back and do a CR-1 after all you've been through is ridiculous. Why doesn't your fiance understand that?

[Yellowhead 12]

If she wants to marry you, have a civil ceremony, keep it on the downlow from the parents, so it satisfies the marriage within 90 days requirement, and then plan for the religious ceremony in the Ukraine. Everyone is happy. I don't see why this is such a difficult thing. The USA wants the legal marriage completed within 90 days... this does not mean you can't plan for a larger or more spiritual ceremony after the fact. For her family, they prob won't consider the civil ceremony marriage anyway, as it isn't religious. So nobody is harmed doing this. USCIS is happy, you are happy, she is happy, and her family is happy.

We are marrying and I am not even telling my parents the specifics, aside from the legal part, until we can plan something larger. That way a slew of people won't show up at the court house wondering why they weren't invited. It is an easy fix. It also happens to be the choice of a lot of people on VJ.

Edited November 8, 2010 by hithalynn

[Fandango 1,439]

I would say the best choices for you now is to get a marriage license here first(whether you have a ceremony yet or not), then you could go to Ukraine and have a ceremony for her family after you get your authorized travel document or green card when applying for AOS. Going there and starting a whole new process through the k-3 after already doing the k-1 is not something your going to want to do. In my situation I just had a ceremony in my wife's country first out of respect to her family before we left her country, but nothing official, just the ceremony. Then we got our official marriage certificate here in America.I would do everything possible to keep her to stay until then. My wife really wants to go back to Brazil to visit her family, but she also know that once we get our Authorized travel document and Green card we can go back to Brazil and visit anytime we want. Everything takes patience!!

The only way she could get a travel document is AFTER she gets married & files for it. On American soil.

[hgdfjdfghgfr 0]

The only way she could get a travel document is AFTER she gets married & files for it. On American soil.

I would say the best choices for you now is to get a marriage license here first(whether you have a ceremony yet or not), then you could go to Ukraine and have a ceremony for her family after you get your authorized travel document or green card when applying for AOS. Going there and starting a whole new process through the k-3 after already doing the k-1 is not something your going to want to do. In my situation I just had a ceremony in my wife's country first out of respect to her family before we left her country, but nothing official, just the ceremony. Then we got our official marriage certificate here in America.I would do everything possible to keep her to stay until then. My wife really wants to go back to Brazil to visit her family, but she also know that once we get our Authorized travel document and Green card we can go back to Brazil and visit anytime we want. Everything takes patience!!

[SuperDuper! 230]

OP, the way I see it is EVERYONE IS MISSING YOUR POINT.

If either of you are having second thoughts and doubts about living a life together the next 50 years, then DON'T GET MARRIED.

Yes, it is tragic when after all the time, trouble and expense you went thru, only to find out that she doesn't really want to marry you.

You will have greater trouble and regret if you marry when deep in your heart you know you should not.

Denial is a powerful force. So use your best judgment and intuition to tell you if you should go thru with your original marriage plans.

The good news, is that you chose a K1 Visa, which offers you this VERY check and confirmation point, to be sure you are doing the right thing to enter into a LEGALLY BINDING RELATIONSHIP.

CR/1 couples dont have the same luxury. You can still send her back home if the situation so mutually dictates. THEY are stuck with each other and dont have the chance to take action to easily undo things after seeing how a spouse negatively changes once s/he gets over to the US.

Consult your best friends and family in the closing hours to confirm what you feel in your heart.

Good Luck!

Edited November 8, 2010 by Boing!

[jrmejia 31]

I wonder why the parents did not discuss the term with the OP prior of his fiancee coming to USA. Or was that something out of the blue when she came here?

I discuss with the family of my fiancee. Here the civil because paper requirement and the ceremony in the Phil. because that is how her mom wants it. I did not have any problems with that. In fact, I smile from ear to ear. I hear a wedding in the phil. can cost like 50% less than in the USA.

[sea-monkey 13]

Maybe that is an excuse to get their kid back home. Maybe she doesnt want to marry you? I say, if they are having doubts, exchange her for a new one. Preferably one without a nasty mother.

Don’t keep her here against her will, let her leave if she wants.

Edited November 8, 2010 by sea-monkey

[Channah&Aaron 51]

; My opinion: don't do anything against her will IF she really wants to get married in Ukraine with her family around... Just talk talk talk about it with her.... Good luck!