Dead fiancées

[Mithra 1,185]

Unfortunately a lot of men of Arab descent make a bad name for THEMSELVES with their behavior as we've seen in this forum time and again. No one has to do it to them, they do it to themselves.

[msheesha 548]

To the OP - if I were you & in a "serious relationship" with this man who initially lied about having a dead fiance, I'd want to know definitively from his own mouth why he lied about such a serious issue; I wouldn't want to just guess about it or think I had some idea about it. Why haven't you asked him directly why he lied about such a serious topic?

It sounds like you're asking because you want to believe it's common and/or excusable b/c the man you're involved with did it.

[msheesha 548]

Unfortunately a lot of men of Arab descent make a bad name for THEMSELVES with their behavior as we've seen in this forum time and again. No one has to do it to them, they do it to themselves.

Several spoiled apples doesn't give us the right to generalize any culture. A whole region, culture, religion, gender, etc, etc, etc, shouldn't be judged based on the postings of an internet forum, imho.

[Staashi 371]

Do you know what???? I AM SO SO SO SICK OF PEOPLE TALKING, THINKING AND BEHAVING POORLY TOWARdS MEN OF ARABIC DESCENT!!! Really it is just disgusting and of poor taste.

I have never in my life knew a more descent and loving kind and understanding man in all my life than my husband Ahmed, really I find myself in awe of him and his culture, beliefs and traditions.

So maybe you need to start checking for facts rather than stories made up by some ignorant person with nothing else better to do.

Obviously Amber you have not hung out in MENA long enough to know that there are some really shady dudes - your husband might be a gem, but there are some MENA guys who are trying to play American women for fools and have succeeded! Just sayin'.

Edited November 2, 2010 by Staashi

[Mithra 1,185]

That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is that people (in this forum) usually don't just make up stories about Arab men as it seems Amber and Ahmed was alluding to. The stories have at least some truth behind it. So if Arab men (the bad ones) are getting a bad name then they've earned it. Not saying that all Arabs are bad because of a few, obviously. I wouldn't be married to one if I believed that.

Several spoiled apples doesn't give us the right to generalize any culture. A whole region, culture, religion, gender, etc, etc, etc, shouldn't be judged based on the postings of an internet forum, imho.

Edited November 2, 2010 by je veux ton amour

[Cipriana 0]

Do you know what???? I AM SO SO SO SICK OF PEOPLE TALKING, THINKING AND BEHAVING POORLY TOWARdS MEN OF ARABIC DESCENT!!! Really it is just disgusting and of poor taste.

I have never in my life knew a more descent and loving kind and understanding man in all my life than my husband Ahmed, really I find myself in awe of him and his culture, beliefs and traditions.

So maybe you need to start checking for facts rather than stories made up by some ignorant person with nothing else better to do.

Why are you so nervous? Be happy to have a such nice man beside you. In our relation this was a forgiven "slip" at the end. Just since I heard this not happening with me only I wanted to know some other experiences as well.

[Mithra 1,185]

I'm sitting here thinking - why has this become an Arab man issue? It's not about Arab men, in general. It's about one dude who lied. Any dude can lie.

My previous response is how I feel about the "bad Arab man" issue. However, this thread shouldn't be about Arab men, in general.

Edited November 2, 2010 by je veux ton amour

[Cipriana 0]

Everybody can commit an error, I will not judge anybody especially whom I love if he makes an error especially when he tells me the truth later. Do you know how these young guys live in their countries, how are they dreaming of a better life? And how they sometimes do some "tricks" to be able to get off from that ambient? These strange awful stories are of the "innocent" ones. After moving to a foreign country starts the awakening. I think that not all who pretend a happy relation especially during the waiting period can judge the real feelings. That reveals after starting the real common life.

[Amber & Ahmed 133]

Obviously Amber you have not hung out in MENA long enough to know that there are some really shady dudes - your husband might be a gem, but there are some MENA guys who are trying to play American women for fools and have succeeded! Just sayin'.

Do you know I am so sad for those women that have been played or hurt? Your right I haven't "hung" in MENA for very long at all. But I have been in various discussions and meetings and seminars to have seen and heard a lot, even before I met and married Ahmed. Really even before 9/11 happened. BUT I DO know there are many shady men in every nation on this earth and I DO KNOW it is NOT RIGHT to generalize ANYONE based soley on the actions of a few of each nation, race, or religion.

Im just saying.

[Amber & Ahmed 133]

That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is that people (in this forum) usually don't just make up stories about Arab men as it seems Amber and Ahmed was alluding to. The stories have at least some truth behind it. So if Arab men (the bad ones) are getting a bad name then they've earned it. Not saying that all Arabs are bad because of a few, obviously. I wouldn't be married to one if I believed that.

Je Veux I wasn't elluding to anything I am simply stating what I am tired of. I did not mean to make it seem like people in this forum or that forum was making anything up, simply I AM TIRED OF THE BAD WRAP THE ARABIC COMMUNITY RECIEVES IN LIFE.

[Amber & Ahmed 133]

Why are you so nervous? Be happy to have a such nice man beside you. In our relation this was a forgiven "slip" at the end. Just since I heard this not happening with me only I wanted to know some other experiences as well.

Lol do I seem nervous in any way? If so please do excuse me... for surely I am not nervous about anything. Also please do forgive my ignorance because surely I did see where you posted that this DID happen to you.Overall I just wanted to say this did not happen to me and I do sympathize with those it did happen too. But really if this was such a common thing as the OP said, wouldn't I have heard more about this.

Edited November 2, 2010 by Amber & Ahmed

[Cipriana 0]

Lol do I seem nervous in any way? If so please do excuse me... for surely I am not nervous about anything. Also please do forgive my ignorance because surely I did see where you posted that this DID happen to you.Overall I just wanted to say this did not happen to me and I do sympathize with those it did happen too. But really if this was such a common thing as the OP said, wouldn't I have heard more about this.

it is ok

[msheesha 548]

That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is that people (in this forum) usually don't just make up stories about Arab men as it seems Amber and Ahmed was alluding to. The stories have at least some truth behind it. So if Arab men (the bad ones) are getting a bad name then they've earned it. Not saying that all Arabs are bad because of a few, obviously. I wouldn't be married to one if I believed that.

Gotcha. Thanks for the clarity.

Everybody can commit an error, I will not judge anybody especially whom I love if he makes an error especially when he tells me the truth later. Do you know how these young guys live in their countries, how are they dreaming of a better life? And how they sometimes do some "tricks" to be able to get off from that ambient? These strange awful stories are of the "innocent" ones. After moving to a foreign country starts the awakening. I think that not all who pretend a happy relation especially during the waiting period can judge the real feelings. That reveals after starting the real common life.

So, if I'm reading right, it's okay that he lied to you b/c he wanted a better life and lying about that was a way to ensure that better life? I think that's a pretty low standard, but that's just me.

Edited November 2, 2010 by msheesha

[LaL 418]

hmmm.

[Cipriana 0]

Gotcha. Thanks for the clarity.

So, if I'm reading right, it's okay that he lied to you b/c he wanted a better life and lying about that was a way to ensure that better life? I think that's a pretty low standard, but that's just me.

Never be so sure about your right.... and never state other's behaviour a low state until you do not know what is behind. I am pretty sure that in most of the cases there are hidden motivations just most of the concerned do not want to admit or do not know about that.