how to close my petition

[RightClicK 17]

sam,while i respect you as a member,you dont know what HE did to her,so you have to stay out of it as much as you want others to,we know amy,amy is our friend,so naturally we will comment based on what is best for her in our mind.it would only make sense

I didn't say he didn't do anything to her , i said you don't know whats between them , so you can be her friend and everything but you wouldn't know her personal info whatever she might shared with you guys but you still wouldn't know somethings and am not accusing anyone of anything , i just told him to say a nice words instead of cursing when he doesn't know anything, we are all standing by her and should too , but we shouldn't curse someone we don't know , No offense but.......nvm

[thelastpetitioner 218]

you dont need to know ones life to show sympathy.

[TyandAllie 17]

I'm so sorry Amy

[Lucy NY 1]

I think Amy is only looking advice for the way to actually close her petition. I am sure she doesnt want to hear some peoples opinions on something that they are passing judgement about at this time. We are not in the relationship, and at a hurtful time like this please keep biased opinions at bay.

We are here for support not to second guess about what has and has not gone on.

Amy u know where us girls are if u wana chat and let it out. Hope ur mum is there with you xxx

[Nik+Heather 121]

Amy, my first thought was about your concerns you shared with us a few weeks ago about possibly needing the waiver. I know it must seem daunting and hopeless especially while things are still uncertain. If I were him, I'd have been kicking myself day and night for the last 3 weeks, and maybe it just sort of exploded this weekend.

Don't do anything hastily or in the heat of emotion. If it were me, I wouldn't take any action which didn't agree with my feelings. If I didn't want to break up, I wouldn't withdraw the petition - make him make the final decision about letting the visa die by not responding. I know you don't want to get anything in the mail, so maybe you ask someone to check the mail for you. When something from USCIS comes, have them just put it away in a safe place. Discontinue your email/text message updates from USCIS, etc.

I don't think you're shopping around for a foreign spouse, with one waiting in the wings, so there's no need to be in any hurry to close things out with USCIS. They put dates on things so unpursued petitions can die a natural death.

Thinking of you... <3

Edited November 1, 2010 by Nik+Heather

[Amyyduck 20]

Thank you all again for your support. It does make me feel at least a tiny bit better to know that I have so many friends and supporters all over the world. I really appreciate it.

Nik+Heather,

Thank you for the advice. I think you may be right, and that our waiver concerns may have had something to do with all of this. I don't really understand how or why, but he seems to think that it was some sort of wake up call to make him realize what he "really wanted." He said that he's been lying to himself the whole time, that he never should have proposed to me in the first place. He said he wants to be on his own for awhile to do something for himself and have an independent life. He said so many different things, some of which were hurtful (though not deliberately) and I don't know which things he really meant or which things he just said to make himself feel better. Some things I think he even said just to make sure that I knew there was no chance of changing his mind. He said he can't marry me out of guilt and I asked him if he ever really loved me in the first place and I guess he was unsure. I just don't know what to believe.

I'm not going to close out his petition just yet, I can't bear to give it up. Part of me has a tiny smidgen of hope that he'll realize this was just a mistake, but the rest of me is pretty realistic about the fact that I'll probably never hear from him again. It pains me to say it, but that's likely the truth.

Thank you again everyone, for all of your kind words, support, and advice.

[patient2010 93]

wow sorry to hear this I hope things get better for the two of you!!!!!

[PurpleSky 19]

Amy...I'm happy you decided to leave it open for now. I am praying for clarity and closure for you if this is not who God has for you. If it is who He has for you, I'm praying for both of you to step out into your blessings and not be afraid. You know where we are...we miss you already.

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

Amyydukk, I'm sorry this is happening to you. It can't be easy. As usual, Nik & Heather's advice is perfect. As she has said, don't do anything hasty.

My next comments aren't just for you, but for anyone else reading your thread.

I remember all too clearly those days of being apart from my spouse. Those thousands of miles; those time zone differences; those lonely nights. I remember processing for the visa and the heady excitement of every step. Long distance international relationships coupled with the "challenge" of "government interference" is truly the stuff of romance.

I've been in this marriage many years now. It's the best thing that ever happened to me. I always hope it's that way for everyone on these boards. So many times I've read the expression I once used myself - "if we can make it through this, we can make it through anything". The truth of the matter however, is something entirely different. It's not those long lonely nights and international uniqueness of these relationships that destines them to last. Quite simply, what makes these marriages work is the same thing that makes any "domestic" relationship work. It's the quality of character of the people involved and their devotion to each other.

I hope and pray for each of you here at Vj, that your relationships are true, long lasting and fulfilling. I hope you as individual couples are looking at what is the same about each other, and not captivated by what is different. I hope there is no ocean too broad that you would not cross to be together. I hope there is never a clash too broad to separate you once you are united.

And I hope there is healing, for those with the courage to put behind them a lovely memory of a love not known to many.

[PurpleSky 19]

Amyydukk, I'm sorry this is happening to you. It can't be easy. As usual, Nik & Heather's advice is perfect. As she has said, don't do anything hasty.

My next comments aren't just for you, but for anyone else reading your thread.

I remember all too clearly those days of being apart from my spouse. Those thousands of miles; those time zone differences; those lonely nights. I remember processing for the visa and the heady excitement of every step. Long distance international relationships coupled with the "challenge" of "government interference" is truly the stuff of romance.

I've been in this marriage many years now. It's the best thing that ever happened to me. I always hope it's that way for everyone on these boards. So many times I've read the expression I once used myself - "if we can make it through this, we can make it through anything". The truth of the matter however, is something entirely different. It's not those long lonely nights and international uniqueness of these relationships that destines them to last. Quite simply, what makes these marriages work is the same thing that makes any "domestic" relationship work. It's the quality of character of the people involved and their devotion to each other.

I hope and pray for each of you here at Vj, that your relationships are true, long lasting and fulfilling. I hope you as individual couples are looking at what is the same about each other, and not captivated by what is different. I hope there is no ocean too broad that you would not cross to be together. I hope there is never a clash too broad to separate you once you are united.

And I hope there is healing, for those with the courage to put behind them a lovely memory of a love not known to many.

BEAUTIFUL response!!!!!