Can you really adjust?

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Once you have TiVO and Netflix, that will be a problem of the past!

I had Netflix but run out of stuff for "free" there too. TiVo is my reward to myself (and more TV channels) when I eventually get a job.

Another indication that you haven't fully adjusted here: first of all, US is #1! You really need to accept this if you want to blend in. More importantly, however, is that you assume British bread is equal to American bread. It's not. First of, American bread is #1, but you learned that already, didn't ya? Secondly, British bread is made from natural ingredients, whereas American bread is pure chemistry, which is why it lasts virtually forever. In fact, and I'm not joking here, they put a McDonald's Hamburger out on some kitchen counter, and after 100 days it was still good. What does that tell you? Exactly, American Hamburgers are #1!

You are correct! I haven't not accepted that the US is #1! this is all my fault. Thank you for showing me the error of my ways. Mayhaps I should call my first born after you? I think "Just Bob" is a good boys name, very hick sounding, like "Jimmy Bob", I'll fit right in then! My kids too!

[Afrikan Queen 11]

my wife wanted me to mention here this website MEETUP.COM

search your area...this has lot of groups with common beliefs, emotions . I am sure you would find something for her.Let us know....apart from some people here in VJ we all love to help. Take care.

P.S. sorry for the typing mistakes in my last post. Got sleepy

This has helped my Filipino friend. She doesn't go online but looks for women with the same culture.

[Darnell 8,479]

maybe she's suffering from 'china princess' syndrome, as well?

she's an only child, parents and grandparents doted on her, now that 'support group' is gone. Either she's really loud and screaming all the time, or she's totally withdrawn - there is no middle ground on this.

but that's only a side-issue, really - as rlogan has nailed it, again. Perhaps she'd find her way with a group of PRC people locally ? what's she doing with the chinese student club at her uni? Usually, the faculty advisor and the club president know all for local activities, and is many opportunities for guanxi . But she has to GO, and make inquiries, face to face - no one will seek her out - she must show up, be present.

Finally, there is the food aspect, as food is engrained in the culture. If you ain't cooking then you need to learn how to cook the things her mama makes for her, quickly. If she knows how to cook, then she'll be happier with a 'chinese kitchen' - so be prepared for a makeover, soonish.

For some more 'china input' - please come visit http://www.chinafamilyvisa.com - I hang out there, and the crusty curmudgeons there can give you further sound advice on what to do..

ps - want more responses from China members? change yer profile so that it reflects 'china' on the beneficiary's country. lots of china members here see posts from the china portal. they can't find you, as is, now.

Edited January 21, 2011 by Darnell

[yorkshirerose22 4]

Also since iv moved here iv been suffering with really bad acne, iv always suffered with my face, but now im getting it all over my face and shoulders, i keep trying different thing, spending afortune, its driving me crazy and making me feel down on top of everything else. Also iv always had nice feet and now they just dry and peeling, been moisterising and they have improved but the ance is still an issue. Im really unsure what to do, i really would like to see a dermertologist but money is the problem. Back home i wouldnt have a problem, and it very frustrating.

Im really praying things improve soon

[Gemmie 142]

^ I have the same problem, since moving here my hair and skin is a mess!

I've discussed this before, but my hair gets greasy at the roots so quickly over here. In the UK I would wash it every day and it would be just fine within those 24 hours. Here, there are times I wash my hair at night and when I wake in the morning, my fringe/bangs are greasy! I've tried different shampoos (they don't have shampoo for greasy hair like we do in the UK, but I was advised to use clarifying shampoo, glossy shampoo, wash it twice, use cold water, everything) and none of it works. My husband told me today he's going to try and buy something for the shower head that clears the water of chemicals.

With the skin issue, I never had a problem in the UK and was looking back at old photos last night and thought 'wow my skin was so clear!' Over here, I've exhausted the use of acne treatment (even though it's not really "acne", more just an area on my chin that is red and blemish-ey with a few spots), drinking more water, and different make-up types. Now it's a never-ending cycle, I wear extra make-up to cover up the bad areas and the heavy make-up is making my skin react.

I'm also thinking of getting some advice from a professional as it really gets me down.

Edited January 27, 2011 by Gemmie

[yorkshirerose22 4]

^ I have the same problem, since moving here my hair and skin is a mess!

I've discussed this before, but my hair gets greasy at the roots so quickly over here. In the UK I would wash it every day and it would be just fine within those 24 hours. Here, there are times I wash my hair at night and when I wake in the morning, my fringe/bangs are greasy! I've tried different shampoos (they don't have shampoo for greasy hair like we do in the UK, but I was advised to use clarifying shampoo, glossy shampoo, wash it twice, use cold water, everything) and none of it works. My husband told me today he's going to try and buy something for the shower head that clears the water of chemicals.

With the skin issue, I never had a problem in the UK and was looking back at old photos last night and thought 'wow my skin was so clear!' Over here, I've exhausted the use of acne treatment (even though it's not really "acne", more just an area on my chin that is red and blemish-ey with a few spots), drinking more water, and different make-up types. Now it's a never-ending cycle, I wear extra make-up to cover up the bad areas and the heavy make-up is making my skin react.

I'm also thinking of getting some advice from a professional as it really gets me down.

I have always washed my hair every day, i use that Tresemme shampoo.

Iv had ups and downs with my skin since a teenager, but nothing i couldnt control, my skin was clear, but since i came out here in 2008 for 3months when i went back home my skin just broke out so bad and iv suffered ever since, i went to the doctor back in england and he gave me retinol gel and antibiotics and it helped alot. After we got married my face broke out really bad again, my face was sore with white heads and cyst, i tried different things but nothing seemed to work and iv also got scares too.

I am now using Peter Thomas Roth and its helped alot, even tho i stil get one or 2 blemishes and its can be drying if you dont use a good moisturiser, but i still wonder if they something better out there, as for the break out on my shoulders, something iv never had trouble with, im using antibacterial body wash and scrub but that dosent seem to be working.

I really want to see a dermatologist, but we dont have the money, and this is where i get even more anoyed, back home i went to the doctor no problem and got help, here i feel they is no help. I miss the NHS lol.

People who dont suffer from ance wont understand how it makes you feel, and when you carnt get the help you need it makes you feel worse and hate being here.

As for makeup, bare minirels, its suppose to help improve the skin over time and not clog pores, and it covers well, they have a starter kit you can buy from sophora.

[Gemmie 142]

I totally understand how you feel. I'm not an insecure person, but can't help that awful feeling when I'm talking to someone and wonder if they're disgusted by my face, LOL. It doesn't help that the few times I've seen my family (in person or on web cam) they ask why my skin is so bad, am I not eating the right foods - and while they're at it, do I have an eating disorder as I'm looking thin, etc. Having so much attention on the things you feel bad about isn't pleasant. It's not nice when you feel insecure with your appearance, I hope to get back to my confident self soon.

At the moment I'm using a make-up cleanser after a shower, followed by acne medication (Clean&Clear), followed by dual moisturizer (also Clean&Clear, it's combined with blemish fighter) but it doesn't seem to do much good. I'll let you know how it goes when we try the shower attachment to get rid of the chemicals in the water, as I do think it might have something to do with that (hard water), what's the water like there? Thanks for the recommendation on the make-up, I never used to wear make-up in the UK and if I did, it was a tiny amount. Over here I need to wear it so cover up my insecurities. I'll also look into Peter Thomas Roth.

Edited January 28, 2011 by Gemmie

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

Gemmie -

I don't know if you observed this or not about your body after coming to the US. It seemed to me that the surface of my husband's skin changed. At least to my touch. Where before his skin seemed more oily, after a while it felt more dry to me.

I think the forced air heat in US homes changes things about skin and hair.

As to your complexion, my husband had this issue as well, although it had always been a problem for him. Pro-Active has worked for him.

Oh - as for cleaning the shower head, I would just soak it in white vinegar.

Edited January 28, 2011 by Rebecca Jo

[thatbritishlass 2]

I totally understand how you feel. I'm not an insecure person, but can't help that awful feeling when I'm talking to someone and wonder if they're disgusted by my face, LOL. It doesn't help that the few times I've seen my family (in person or on web cam) they ask why my skin is so bad, am I not eating the right foods - and while they're at it, do I have an eating disorder as I'm looking thin, etc. Having so much attention on the things you feel bad about isn't pleasant. It's not nice when you feel insecure with your appearance, I hope to get back to my confident self soon.

At the moment I'm using a make-up cleanser after a shower, followed by acne medication (Clean&Clear), followed by dual moisturizer (also Clean&Clear, it's combined with blemish fighter) but it doesn't seem to do much good. I'll let you know how it goes when we try the shower attachment to get rid of the chemicals in the water, as I do think it might have something to do with that (hard water), what's the water like there? Thanks for the recommendation on the make-up, I never used to wear make-up in the UK and if I did, it was a tiny amount. Over here I need to wear it so cover up my insecurities. I'll also look into Peter Thomas Roth.

Finding cosmetics and stuff that are equivalent to back home is a PITA and I think it's so important in terms of how you adjust. The day after I got here my hubby took me to Target and I spent $100 on shampoo, conditioner, face scrub, etc, etc - basically, everything I would have at home, so I didn't feel like I was just staying for another holiday It sounds stupid but it actually really helped.

I've been quite lucky in that my skin seems to have actually improved since I got here (probably getting considerably more Vitamin D in Orlando than I did in Leeds ) but the one thing I've noticed is that my hands are continuously dry and my nails, which were already terrible, are even more appalling. Like, they don't even break any more, they just peel off in layers. And that Sally Hansen Hard As Nails stuff seems to make it worse!! A minor complaint, but still annoying...

Total subject change, but if you need UK TV, Expat Shield is the bomb. We have my hubby's laptop connected to our TV via HDMI cable and now I'm in raptures watching endless Have I Got News For You and Shameless. Google it

[Gemmie 142]

Gemmie -

I don't know if you observed this or not about your body after coming to the US. It seemed to me that the surface of my husband's skin changed. At least to my touch. Where before his skin seemed more oily, after a while it felt more dry to me.

I think the forced air heat in US homes changes things about skin and hair.

As to your complexion, my husband had this issue as well, although it had always been a problem for him. Pro-Active has worked for him.

Oh - as for cleaning the shower head, I would just soak it in white vinegar.

Yes I have noticed that, parts of my skin is dry and flakey. I'll look into Pro-Active as well, thanks for the info. It's nice to know other people have had similar experiences.

Jess, now that I'm working, I'll definitely be hitting Ulta or somewhere soon and splurging on some really good products!

[luckytxn 2,265]

Since I have been married I have learned there are a ton of lotions and general stuff that woman can buy for anything. I used to almost cry when I was going shopping with my wife and know that for an hour or two that I had to look and read everything on the shelves and try to explain why one was better over the others. Luckily over time after much trial and error she has found what works best and she likes and she can go and buy it by herself while I go to a different department where there are more things geared toward what I can keep me occupied.

My babe also had blemishes on her skin and itchiness but a friend of mine who is a nurse suggested she take pepcid ac which is for upset stomaches and it actually helped her. I am sure that this may not help the acne and stuff but was surprised that something so common as this over the counter medicine helped her.

[yorkshirerose22 4]

IM coming out really bad on my shoulders, and iv never suffered on my shoulders before so im getting rather anoyed, as for my face, seems alittle better but im stil getting white heads mainly on my chin and some on my cheek and neck, alot of the time i look in the mirror and just want to cry, im thinking of trying proactive but im scared to because, some ppl say it causes spots and if u miss using it once u break out, my face has imporve alittle so i dont want to ended up really bad again and im scared if i change thats what might happen. Im trying to find something that will help the spots on my shoulders so far nothing has, sometimes i think if i sit in the sun it might help but then the sun is ment to make it worse. I have been told that spots on your chin can be hormonal, so make me think should i try and see a doctor???

I need MIRICAL badly.