Sending money to your wife's family for hospital expenses

[Gilles 4]

My wife has asked me to send money to her family in the Philippines for medical expenses. She says one relative was a patient in the hospital. When my wife's relative was due to get released from the hospital, her family couldn't pay the bill, so the hospital wouldn't allow her to leave. My wife says that's normal in the Philippines - they keep you imprisoned in the hospital until you pay the medical bill. It doesn't make sense to me. If that were true, people who were out of money would flock to the hospital all the time and then live at the hospital. That would clog up the hospitals and those who needed medical care wouldn't be able to get any. Can anyone shed any light on this?

[wizardfitz 13]

what hospital?

[Markieboy 104]

My wife has asked me to send money to her family in the Philippines for medical expenses. She says one relative was a patient in the hospital. When my wife's relative was due to get released from the hospital, her family couldn't pay the bill, so the hospital wouldn't allow her to leave. My wife says that's normal in the Philippines - they keep you imprisoned in the hospital until you pay the medical bill. It doesn't make sense to me. If that were true, people who were out of money would flock to the hospital all the time and then live at the hospital. That would clog up the hospitals and those who needed medical care wouldn't be able to get any. Can anyone shed any light on this?

This is true to a certain extent. Yes, most hospitals will not discharge the patient until their account is settled. However, the hospital does not hold the patient indefinitely. Many patients have PhilHealth, the local medical insurance. However, many patients are self-pay. These patients usually seek payment via family or friends.

After about 7-10 days, if the patient does not settle his account, the patient is eventually discharged. The patient may be required to sign a promissory note. But this usually does not mean anything. Most of the time, the patients find some way to get the money (utang) for payment. The other patients just disregard their obligation, whether by choice or circumstance, to the hospital and to the health care workers that provided the service. The physician and the hospital usually write if off as a loss.

Edited October 27, 2010 by Markieboy

[marklovetina 52]

here in the phil. if ur not paying for med. insurance and u get hospitalize u will pay for the entire bill, but if u have insurance then almost half of the bill will be cover.. but for many filipinos that dont have much money even tho they have med. insurance they cant still pay for the fee in the hospital, so they ask to some relatives for help.. ur wife asked ur help coz she knew that u can help her family on the bill... but its ok.. maybe its not that big amount and helping on this issues is not a big deal.. helping is good.. just dont abuse the person who is helping... God will return the favor u gave to others...

[Atencio 43]

My wife was just recently in the hospital for Dengue Fever. Philhealth paid barely a third of the bill. My wife was panicking on how she would pay the bill at discharge. What was kind of humorous was that the hospital did not have some of the antibiotics so her sister had to go the pharmacy and buy some.

[Maxx121 14]

Money is such a touchy subject. My feeling is the responsibilty for debt falls into the immediate family, my wife and kids. The further out you go from there it gets less and less. parents are ok, siblings less than parents cause you gotta be an adult but if its important and my parents guilt trip me enough, then fine. When it comes to uncles, cousins and the like its all a how close are you to them thing.

You also have to ask how much of that debt are you gonna have to put in on. If i have 10k in the bank and they have a 500 dollar bill, sure i can pay it all, but should you?

My feeling is noope

My wife was put through college by her fathers and elder sisters hard work. if it wasnt for them she would not be the beautiful woman she is today and because of that if they needed anything i would always be there for them because they mean alot to me.

past them... no obligation and no hard feelings when i say no.

the good thing is my wife is of the same mind (for the most part). guess it all goes to how much excess cash you have and if you feel like a cash cow.

I say a 20 to 30% share of the total that has to be covered by the family is more than fair. If they cant come up with the rest then you will be the cash cow as opposed to a member of the family helping out.

[Markieboy 104]

My wife was just recently in the hospital for Dengue Fever. Philhealth paid barely a third of the bill. My wife was panicking on how she would pay the bill at discharge. What was kind of humorous was that the hospital did not have some of the antibiotics so her sister had to go the pharmacy and buy some.

This is very common, especially in the government hospitals. Their inventory of medications and supplies is regulated by DOH. Patients' family/friends going out and buying medications for the patient...because the medication was out of stock in the hospital. It is ridiculous. But that's how the system is right now.

[Laser1 63]

An interesting discussion on that topic appeared today in the "Live In the Philippines" blog: http://liveinthephilippines.com/content/2010/10/what-would-you-do/

[Ann Marie and Leo 9]

My Can anyone shed any light on this?

Danger Danger Will Robinson, the is the first of many tests on you releationship, and if you send them the money you will have failed the test and that will open up the flood gates for tons of future urgent requests. That in turn will put additional preasure on you releationship. By the way officially the law was changed so they are not allowed to hold a patent hostage for payment, but they will do it if you let them.

Good rules to follow:

1. Immediate family only

2. Trust but verify

3. Trust but Verify

4. Trust but verify

[MJ&RJ 7]

You have to make good judgment calls for this as it can get out of hand with the request for monetary help.  My wifes family, friends, and distant family tries this a lot and it is hard when you have a soft hearted wife that is very kind and good natured. 

[rheanick 42]

My wife has asked me to send money to her family in the Philippines for medical expenses. She says one relative was a patient in the hospital. When my wife's relative was due to get released from the hospital, her family couldn't pay the bill, so the hospital wouldn't allow her to leave. My wife says that's normal in the Philippines - they keep you imprisoned in the hospital until you pay the medical bill. It doesn't make sense to me. If that were true, people who were out of money would flock to the hospital all the time and then live at the hospital. That would clog up the hospitals and those who needed medical care wouldn't be able to get any. Can anyone shed any light on this?

If you have extra money, give a certain amount that you are comforatble with but dont pay the whole amount. NEVER NEVER PAY THE WHOLE AMOUNT.

[Loolie 56]

If you have extra money, give a certain amount that you are comforatble with but dont pay the whole amount. NEVER NEVER PAY THE WHOLE AMOUNT.

why do you say that? I wonder...

[rheanick 42]

why do you say that? I wonder...

One, Gilles is tight with money right now as he admitted in his earlier post. Second, its a relative, not an immediate family. The relative could be his wife's cousin's cousin's counsin's cousin's in law. I'm not trying to be funny here. In the philippines, anyone could be a relative. Third, i read before that his wife has an attitude and this could be a way to get some money from him to send to her family.

Gilles could correct me if i'm wrong.

[Gilles 4]

One, Gilles is tight with money right now as he admitted in his earlier post. Second, its a relative, not an immediate family. The relative could be his wife's cousin's cousin's counsin's cousin's in law. I'm not trying to be funny here. In the philippines, anyone could be a relative. Third, i read before that his wife has an attitude and this could be a way to get some money from him to send to her family.

Gilles could correct me if i'm wrong.

My wife says it's a sister in law and I believe her. But I don't know how much my wife's family is yanking her chain in an effort to test her to see how much money they can extract out of her.

I invite others in this discussion to read my previous threads in which I discuss my wife's efforts to extort money from our reserves.

[Maxx121 14]

An interesting discussion on that topic appeared today in the "Live In the Philippines" blog: http://liveinthephilippines.com/content/2010/10/what-would-you-do/

Nice blog, thanks.

To the OP if your wife does this all the time in my oppinion you are being to soft because it seems you really dont like it. cultural differences or not, if you tell a lie to test our relationship and i feel you are bsing me, prepare for alot of questions and a REALLY big argument.

This makes me feel super lucky, my cathy hates asking me for money and only asks me when she is either not working or has to pay for things she didnt expect to pay.

my thoughts to you is to put a stop to this very quickly or be ready to be the family cash cow.

and like an above poster said: NEVER PAY THE ENTIRE BILL, my reason for this is you are part of the family and everyonen must share in helping, otherwise you are taking care of the entire family which is not what you married her for. If you were not there they would find a way.