New Life

[john_and_marlene 162]

That is what should be called a load of hooey. Love is NOT the same nor shown the same around the world. Different cultures have very different ways of showing love and there are even some cultures in the world that don't even have a concept of romantic love, so a generalization in this case is bad. I can't comment on the culture of Vietnam, but automatically assuming that everyone else sees love the way we do is a bad thing to do.

I know this thread is a bit old but I just really felt the need to comment on that one!

Point well taken.

But in the privacy of home? C'mon!

In this case, several here from Vietnam confirmed that such was not the culture to be so distant in private. This situation had definite signs of fraudulent intent.

[Miranda&James 8]

That is what should be called a load of hooey. Love is NOT the same nor shown the same around the world. Different cultures have very different ways of showing love and there are even some cultures in the world that don't even have a concept of romantic love, so a generalization in this case is bad. I can't comment on the culture of Vietnam, but automatically assuming that everyone else sees love the way we do is a bad thing to do.

I know this thread is a bit old but I just really felt the need to comment on that one!

Point well taken.

But in the privacy of home? C'mon!

Well, as John and Marlene said others have said that in Vietnam intimacy in private is normal and expected but I still would not generalize that to be true to everyone in the world. The best rule of thumb is to ask before you assume!

[KarenCee 3]

marriage counsellor before they r even married......???????????..........have you lost your marbles????????????????

And what is so funny about that??......have you never heard of pre-martital counselling??.....If more couple went in for it maybe there would be less divorce....

r u a joke or what...you obviously dont have your head screwed on....we are talking about them getting married and going to a counsellr before that????....you are a weirdo ......thats for sure!!!!!

Do you HAVE to be so insulting? Pre-Marital counselling whether done from a religious or non religioius viewpoint is a valuable thing and shows some maturity IMHO. Name calling, however, on YOUR part shows a level of immaturity.

just saw where ewok took care of that "little" problem....thanks

Edited February 25, 2006 by KarenCee

[IAMSADIA 0]

I know nothing about the vietnemese culture but I do know not to expect anyone not from

America to carry on the American ways of affections either not in two weeks time.

most of us here are used to showing our affections even in public,but I know where my husband

is from that public affections is basically against the law.

we were holding hands during one of my Dr visits one day and the dr came in and my husband

quickly jerked his hand from mine,as if he had got caught going thru the cookie jar with dirty hands.

my husband does privately show me affections at home,,singing to me ,brushing my hair and dancing

with me ,,he is most comfortable at home this way but even so,,he jokes that if one of his brothers saw him

phone me on his work breaks just to say LOVE U ,,they would tease him endlessly!

basically back home where he is from the men show affections in bed..and that is about IT.

but it never was that way with my husband he is very romantic.

But I wana say we did develp other cultural issues and some probably age related ones since I am older then, but I think that the poster was talking mostly about her not showing affection to him at home?

where .. some of this could be cultural ..it's just drilled into a persons head how to feel or behave BUT

as many say love holds no culture when it comes to showing someone they love them.

How was it that you got to know that she "loved" u,do u remember how affectionate she was with u before she came here? for my marriage here,,it was like a romantic novel atfirst ..so much energy between us

and as long as he was not in HIS country he felt safe to SHOW that side of him. now we are more settled down but the holding hands and winks never stop.

as I say his brothers would laugh at his face if they ever saw him call me "baby" or sweety" and do the LOVE U thing all the time ,,love u before bed and love u before going to work...he gets so tickled that he can say that here. I guess take the whole ammount of time the 90 days to figure out your descision.

dont get married just because it's the 12th of march or whatever.. talk it out and see if she feels awkward about being in america adjusting here ,,missing her family ect,but don't jump in the sea without your lifejacket be safe and best of luck.

Sadia

[dmartmar 1]

I know nothing about the Vietnamese culture, but I do know not to expect anyone not from America to carry on the American ways of affections either not in two weeks time.

They don't and can't communicate at all, b/c they don't even speak each other's language!

Great way to start and work on a successful relationship.

Edited February 28, 2006 by dmartmar

[IAMSADIA 0]

I must of completely skipped over that part.. must of been a bad day.

well .. how in the world this will ever work then is a question.

showing affections would be hard to do in this department.

all the best..

Sadia