New Life

[TracyTN 237]

Don't think he's pulling anyone's 'tools'. ( )

New thread

[Bruce and Han 0]

There is stiil something I dont understand here, The interview at the consulate, why did they not see any red flags? Nate and Trinh did you pass with flying colors? How do you communicate with each other? Do you have any phone records? emails? It makes me sad to think that the couples who go throught the interview process, and who are sincere to each other get turned away for some reason or another. It has been over a year that I have been courting my fiancee. She speaks perfect english, as good as a TV news anchor and we are truly in love, but like many otheres we fear the interview process.

To you Nate, this may be impossible, but I think it could help in some possible way, Can you get Trinh to post here, or better yet, have her start a new thread, This is not to bash her but to let her speak out. Give her a voice, You can tell her there are people here that care for her feelings too. Just a thought.

i agree....

It's never going to happen

Yeah , I think you are right, I was thinking as wrote the post "If she wont talk to him, why would she talk to us" Well, thats too bad, because I really wanted to hear what she would say.

I remember what my fiancee told me when we got serious with our relationship, she said, If she finds out I am not faithful too her then it over between us, I said, understood babe! No worries. Which leads to another question to Nate.

Nate, if you are still with us, When your lady moved in with you, Did she find evidence of another lady in your life, maybe phone numbers on a cell phone, old love letters, something of that nature, maybe you are not aware of something she found. Well, if she did find something that left a sour taste in her mouth, this will shut her down fast, I would not get tunnel vision and only focus on how to send her back, I think you do have some time, put the wedding off as long as you can and try to get inside of her head, bring her some flowers, get her to smile, take baby steps, you can thaw her out, and get some dialog going, try to win her over, or at the least ,,,get her to talk to you. but you need to make the first positive move.

[dalegg 143]

By the way, notice how thig guy does not respond to any questions? He makes his initial post and then abandons the thread, only to start a new one the next day. For all we know he is pulling our tools and having a good laugh.

I was thinkin the same thing. The question about how she passed the interview without knowing English if he does not know Vietnamese has been asked several times and never been answered. Believe me, this is a very curious detail from what I know about the HCMC consulate.

The only way I can think that this was overlooked was that the consulate was under the impression that Nate knows Vietnamese. Nate does look Vietnamese, so they may have accepted that without too much question.

[Bruce and Han 0]

By the way, notice how thig guy does not respond to any questions? He makes his initial post and then abandons the thread, only to start a new one the next day. For all we know he is pulling our tools and having a good laugh.

I was thinkin the same thing. The question about how she passed the interview without knowing English if he does not know Vietnamese has been asked several times and never been answered. Believe me, this is a very curious detail from what I know about the HCMC consulate.

The only way I can think that this was overlooked was that the consulate was under the impression that Nate knows Vietnamese. Nate does look Vietnamese, so they may have accepted that without too much question.

Dayam,

That was one of my better thought out post I wrote, I put some real thought and compassion in that last post. and for what!

[Canuck Carrie 1]

don't be so judgemental

And you aren't judging her? (just a little dig )

Matt, I'm not going to get in a flame war over a stranger. It's their mistake, something they both have to live with and now find a way to fix.

The way I look at it, nobody wants to be second choice or the left overs, I am confused as to why he's even surprised. Perhaps she got wind of being the back up plan and decided to use him as he was using her. Unfortunately, there is no requirement of being in love in this process.

[Matt_Stevens 5]

Very well said. And yes, no need for a flame war. Especially since this Nate fellow cannot even bring himself to participate in his own thread.

I hope that in one year's time I am celebrating my woman being here in the U.S. But I know that this year will be full of stress for she and I as we wait out this process.

[john_and_marlene 162]

don't be so judgemental

And you aren't judging her? (just a little dig )

Matt, I'm not going to get in a flame war over a stranger. It's their mistake, something they both have to live with and now find a way to fix.

The way I look at it, nobody wants to be second choice or the left overs, I am confused as to why he's even surprised. Perhaps she got wind of being the back up plan and decided to use him as he was using her. Unfortunately, there is no requirement of being in love in this process.

I was being judgemental. She was his loaf of bread off the grocery shelf and he was her ticket to the U.S. ...

I stand by it!

[Sister Fracas 5]

I was being judgemental. She was his loaf of bread off the grocery shelf and he was her ticket to the U.S. ...

I stand by it!

alrighty then...gotta admire your honesty...no pussyfooting around...LOL

[Jaylen Brit 0]

oski = smc. I am taking care of them now. SOrry for this...

Figured as much from all their posts today - actually ran a post search on them after seeing one of laughing on another thread of a sad situation.

To the OP - well..damn..I hope you have learned a good lesson from all this..the least you need is reasonable verbal communication (SOME spoken English is better than none, and I know many can write it but not speak so well and thats fine cos they email) and getting to KNOW the other person well enough to want to spend the rest of your lives together (or as close as you can over distances).

Been with mine 5 years and I'm sure like an iceberg (sorry dear! lol) Ive not uncovered as much as there is (OK this analgy is sounding worse n worse so I'll stop there )

[kc456 0]

ok the tough decision has been made, now the question, how do I send someone back to their home country? Do I pay for it, do I write or call someone? I wish I did not have to go this direction. I now am soooo depressed.

Nate

I did not look very viable and "how do I send her back" sounds more like " I want to return this faulty merchandise."

I hope the OP learns from this lessons and tries to meet someone that can communicate with him.

[Sinergy 3]

I did not look very viable and "how do I send her back" sounds more like " I want to return this faulty merchandise."

I totally agree!!

[moelarrycheese 0]

Run. Run away very fast. Don't look back.

[dmartmar 1]

Can you get Trinh to post here, or better yet, have her start a new thread, This is not to bash her but to let her speak out. Give her a voice, You can tell her there are people here that care for her feelings too. Just a thought.

Now I wonder; how will Trinh be able to do this when she doesn't speak, read, nor write English, according to the OP!

Edited February 22, 2006 by dmartmar

[Miranda&James 8]

Remember, the language of "true" love is universal and as such, knows no boundary, nor language, nor culture, etc. Love is displayed and shown the same all over the World, moreso in privacy.

That is what should be called a load of hooey. Love is NOT the same nor shown the same around the world. Different cultures have very different ways of showing love and there are even some cultures in the world that don't even have a concept of romantic love, so a generalization in this case is bad. I can't comment on the culture of Vietnam, but automatically assuming that everyone else sees love the way we do is a bad thing to do.

I know this thread is a bit old but I just really felt the need to comment on that one!

[dmartmar 1]

That is what should be called a load of hooey. Love is NOT the same nor shown the same around the world. Different cultures have very different ways of showing love and there are even some cultures in the world that don't even have a concept of romantic love, so a generalization in this case is bad. I can't comment on the culture of Vietnam, but automatically assuming that everyone else sees love the way we do is a bad thing to do.

I know this thread is a bit old but I just really felt the need to comment on that one!

Point well taken.

But in the privacy of home? C'mon!