calling it quits

[Pinay Wife 47]

One inappropriate post removed.

Edited October 25, 2010 by Pinay Wife

[jandk 7]

One inappropriate post removed.

i saw it post but VJ went down or something. So i didnt see it. it's ok. takes 2 to have a problem

[thelastpetitioner 218]

jason you do have an attitude and mostly anger management issue ( ummm flying chair across the room?really?this could count as evidence of abuse )HOWEVER,that is not enough reason for you to be in a crappy relationship,im commenting based on the way you presented everything.

regardless of the cultural difference,respecting your partner is a must ( youre her family now ),and she is obviously not doing that by trying to hide sending money to her family.this could also be a sign of fraud ( she lies and she hides things,whats next? ).again HOWEVER i do also think youre sending her away too quickly,i think you will regret it ( whether youre doing it rightfully or not ) once you cool off.

good luck

[sweetheart32 3]

well considering i am a male and a USC from birth I would find it hard to be part of those "Feathers from the same flock" I believe i have more dignity and respect for women and for my wife, if there was such an issue with us I would let her talk and ask questions as to why it is that she is acting the way she is. You cant really be that naive to say that this Jason guy is a perfect angel in this. He plays some part of this problem whether its him telling her and convincing her parents that he will be there to support her and them, or he thinks that she is only here for citizenship and not him so he hangs it over her head.. the way it sounds.. it sounds like she Values her family(which I dont blame) more because HE DOESN'T value her as much. Jason you expect her to change her ways.. what have you done to make a change? He seems to think that this pinay is his animal at the zoo, who doesn't have rights.. Jason, you bring her to the US of A guess what this is the land of the free. READ up on your culture more and understand that pinoy and pinay respect one another, they are there for one another and their families are valued at top priority.. if you cant understand and change accordingly to other people then stay out of the field and leave it to the men who can adapt to this way of living and diversity.

Anyone else who think and feels that Jason is in the right.. well consider the fact at the way he acts by displaying his thoughts on VJ.. MAKES you wonder if the reason why she doesn't talk to him and tries to hide things behind his back is because he puts fear into her and they have a relationship not based on trust, dignity, respect or loyalty. CHANGE yourself before you try and change others.

your absolutely right..,instead of posting,just talk to her fiance and discuss the problem.

[jandk 7]

your absolutely right..,instead of posting,just talk to her fiance and discuss the problem.

I have been raised that conversation is the key to a successful relationship whether its a personal relationship or business. Without that what's your foundation?

[SuperDuper! 230]

OP: sorry for your situation. And we are wondering if you spent time knowing what we get when we marry a filipina.

Providing for her family is her joy and soul. Did you know it before?

Hey, I have a filipina here and am still learning it!

[jandk 7]

OP: sorry for your situation. And we are wondering if you spent time knowing what we get when we marry a filipina.

Providing for her family is her joy and soul. Did you know it before?

Hey, I have a filipina here and am still learning it!

hehe very good! almost a 7th wonder of the world if you ask me.. I cant speak for all BUT I can say that pinay women show alot of respect as long as you respect them, some are naive, but talking talking talking really turns the picture to face the right direction.

[Pinay Wife 47]

OP: sorry for your situation. And we are wondering if you spent time knowing what we get when we marry a filipina.

Providing for her family is her joy and soul. Did you know it before?

Hey, I have a filipina here and am still learning it!

Jason is a true-blue Pinoy and he should know.

[jandk 7]

Jason is a true-blue Pinoy and he should know.

[Mike&Cherry 45]

He gave up way to soon. I'm sure he spent so much time and effort in getting Rose into the U.S., but didn't take the time to learn about the Filipino culture and everything about her. After the whole draining K-1 Visa process he didn't bother to take the time and make the effort to even try to work out the money issues in a mature manner. Wasted his time, Fiance's time and especially Immigration's time. Some Fiance Visa deserving couple now has to wait longer because this undeserving couple took their place in line. I can't believe that he went online here to talk about the problems instead of using that time to try to work things out with Rose. Maybe she's somewhat at fault or maybe not. But I know at some point before this happened they were in LOVE. Seems like they fell out of love especially after all respect for each other was lost. That's something they will never get back.

I would have liked to hear Rose's side of the story, then we could all make a better judgement of what is really going on. Well actually as the saying goes, "it takes two to tango".

Good luck to you Jason and Rose, but please don't abuse the privledge the the U.S. Government gives to those who are dedicated and dovoted on making their marriages work with their soon to be foreign spouses.

[Maxx121 14]

Ok I can kinda feel the OP on this one cause ive dealt with women in my past from what he says about her. If the problem is that she is to naive or to imature, thats just a learning curve that love helps you get around as long as she has room to grow and isnt some old hag stuck in her ways.

My cathy and i had a long talk about money and i found that she is VERY naive when it comes to money and bills. My solution, she will handle the family finances and pay all the bills. She will do it all via the internet with online access to the bank accounts and a checkbook for stuff she cant pay online. But i trust her and she listens to me. She even calls me to ask me for permission to do things she knows i may not be ok with and if i say no she argues with me till we reach a compromise.

But mind you over time we will save a ####### load of money, but we have goals set for that money. and we even figured out what would be a good amount to send them every month AND agreed only when its affordable for us as we want another child sooner than later.

REALLY good read:

http://www.seasite.niu.edu/Tagalog/love.htm

heehe the OP is a second generation american. i myself am the same, my family is from panama. no matter hwo your raised we are influenced by american culture. the above is a really good way of seeing the average pinay.

but all that goes out the window once they love you hehehe. but in a good way if you let it.

Also, Im a HUGE ####### i was born an A hole and will die an A hole. You sir seem to be cut from a similar cloth as I. so i will say this, Dude, u gotta know who to turn that on and off with. Im marrying Cathy becuase she is the only women i have ever dealt with who can shut me up and make me feel stupid - hehe odd reason to love someone hehehe.

[sea-monkey 13]

He said he had been agonizing for the past 3 weeks over this already. Finally came online to rant...He not only wasted a lot of time but a lot of money I'm sure. She's only been here for a handful of weeks and the family back home is already planning out how they will spend his money

Since she was already on xoom trying to send money, that means she must have your credit card info. I think sites like that also needs your SSI number. I would buy some credit monitoring service and change the card. The family back home is probably going to be a little bit pissed there dreams are not going to pan out.

[Maxx121 14]

He gave up way to soon. I'm sure he spent so much time and effort in getting Rose into the U.S., but didn't take the time to learn about the Filipino culture and everything about her. After the whole draining K-1 Visa process he didn't bother to take the time and make the effort to even try to work out the money issues in a mature manner. Wasted his time, Fiance's time and especially Immigration's time. Some Fiance Visa deserving couple now has to wait longer because this undeserving couple took their place in line. I can't believe that he went online here to talk about the problems instead of using that time to try to work things out with Rose. Maybe she's somewhat at fault or maybe not. But I know at some point before this happened they were in LOVE. Seems like they fell out of love especially after all respect for each other was lost. That's something they will never get back.

I would have liked to hear Rose's side of the story, then we could all make a better judgement of what is really going on. Well actually as the saying goes, "it takes two to tango".

Good luck to you Jason and Rose, but please don't abuse the privledge the the U.S. Government gives to those who are dedicated and dovoted on making their marriages work with their soon to be foreign spouses.

Kinda silly to say why post here instead of talking we all do that you know. hell you can find a forum for anything nowadays. nothing wrong with using the internet to annonymously post your issues and seek solutions or just a venting arena.

dont down the man for that, its his life and he will do as he sees fit. we are just internet counselors hehe

[Maxx121 14]

He said he had been agonizing for the past 3 weeks over this already. Finally came online to rant...He not only wasted a lot of time but a lot of money I'm sure. She's only been here for a handful of weeks and the family back home is already planning out how they will spend his money

Since she was already on xoom trying to send money, that means she must have your credit card info. I think sites like that also needs your SSI number. I would buy some credit monitoring service and change the card. The family back home is probably going to be a little bit pissed there dreams are not going to pan out.

hehehe, i love russians hehe.

but seriously, most likely she will be VERY ashamed. unless she really is just a leach, which i highly doubt. seems more like really bad communication of expectations.

[Fudpukker 18]

Yeah her dad died over a year ago but her uncle who is the brother of her dad seems to have taken over. Anyways its a done deal, she's leaving and going back to the jungle tomorrow.

Mods please close this thread.