Family and Religion

[mawilson 2,133]

So when are you going to become a Christian?

Soon. I don't usually start shopping for Christmas until late November / early December.

[Calypso 464]

You all have insightful answers.

I do not see myself having another religion. However, I cannot imagine letting my children believe all that the Catholic Church (or any other religion) teaches. The Church strongly holds that it is infallible when in fact it had persecuted non-believers, hailed antipopes (Hippolytus was even canonized although he was once an antipope), and did many other unthinkable things (it still does).

Right now, I am still a bit confused. According to my husband, we could always let the children decide for themselves regarding that. Sure, but not when they are two or five years old. Anyway, I'd like them to know and believe in God.

[mawilson 2,133]

Anyway, I'd like them to know and believe in God.

Why? What does it buy you?

[Peikko 1,575]

I don't think beliefs are as impressionistic on young children as experiences. Just listen to the countless numbers of comedians who talk about going to Catholic School. It was the negative experiences (or sometimes positive) that left a lasting impression over any doctrine or beliefs. Children need to be involved and feel they are part of a larger community beyond their immediate family and a community based church, IMO, is the best source for that.

I agree that community based activities are very important, but as a non religious person I can't bring myself to join a religious sect simply to be part of the community. It's very sad because I am a very socially orientated person, but there is nothing for people like me.

[Peikko 1,575]

You all have insightful answers.

I do not see myself having another religion. However, I cannot imagine letting my children believe all that the Catholic Church (or any other religion) teaches. The Church strongly holds that it is infallible when in fact it had persecuted non-believers, hailed antipopes (Hippolytus was even canonized although he was once an antipope), and did many other unthinkable things (it still does).

Right now, I am still a bit confused. According to my husband, we could always let the children decide for themselves regarding that. Sure, but not when they are two or five years old. Anyway, I'd like them to know and believe in God.

Young children have no capacity to understand religious belief, but everyone needs to learn morality unless they do not intend to live with other people. It is perfectly possible to teach even very young children about 'right' and 'wrong' based on principals of fairness and equality. When they are old enough to know what 'god' is (or is supposed to be) they are old enough to make up their own minds as to whether they will believe in it or not - that normally happens in one's mid twenties (although teens can think they know it all about all kinds of things, in your twenties you start to realise what a dipshit notion that is) Nothing wrong in letting your children know about all kinds of things, including religion and obviously as a believer your child will react in some way to that bias, as mine will to my non-belief. We have no control of the ultimate outcome unless we hide things from our children which is not something I am prepared to do.

Edited October 22, 2010 by Madame Cleo

[Gemmie 142]

Right now, I am still a bit confused. According to my husband, we could always let the children decide for themselves regarding that. Sure, but not when they are two or five years old. Anyway, I'd like them to know and believe in God.

But why is it important that they have a religion at two or five years old? This is what I will never understand. If it's about morals and the appropriate way to behave, you can teach them that.

I agree that community based activities are very important, but as a non religious person I can't bring myself to join a religious sect simply to be part of the community. It's very sad because I am a very socially orientated person, but there is nothing for people like me.

I agree, I can't picture myself joining a community church just so that my children can feel a sense of belonging and learn social skills. In fact, I feel quite the opposite, I don't want my child waking me up in tears during the night because they "don't feel anything for God" (this happened to my husband who attended church as a child), or feeling immense guilt over little things that kids do because of something they read in the bible (which happened to me). I'm all for teaching morals and being part of a community and IMO, being part of a church isn't the best way to do that.

[BishopM 114]

You all have insightful answers.

Anyway, I'd like them to know and believe in God.

This is the most important thing to teach kids (and our own selves). Keep this in front at all times. Religion can come secondary as a kid grows in his faith and reason.

Blessings,

Bishop

[^_^ 5,021]

It's very sad because I am a very socially orientated person, but there is nothing for people like me.

And as an adult, you can deal with it. Can a five year old deal with it? Will he or she understand that the reason other children his or her age 'hang out' and he doesn't is because his parents are rational and non-superstitious? Frankly, I don't see a problem socializing and being part of the 'community' aspects of organized religion. My distaste for religion is not so strong and my personal confidence in my beliefs is not so weak as to be threatened by that. And if in the process my non-existent child enjoys some time around others doing fun things then so be it. It beats staying home and watching TV.

[sly_wolf 199]

Religion is absent from our family and we don't miss it or need it. It's almost like politics.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

And as an adult, you can deal with it. Can a five year old deal with it? Will he or she understand that the reason other children his or her age 'hang out' and he doesn't is because his parents are rational and non-superstitious? Frankly, I don't see a problem socializing and being part of the 'community' aspects of organized religion. My distaste for religion is not so strong and my personal confidence in my beliefs is not so weak as to be threatened by that. And if in the process my non-existent child enjoys some time around others doing fun things then so be it. It beats staying home and watching TV.

All my friends in my youth were Protestant. I was the lone 'heathen' Catholic. They would invite me to their churches' picnics and other social events and I was fortunate to have parents that allowed me to participate. It was a great experience. Never once did I feel I was being swayed to abandoned the beliefs my parent's taught me. In fact, because my parents were permissive about letting me socialize with non-Catholics I think strengthened my faith.

[Saddle Bronc 124]

Yeah you probably won't understand but there is this real fear in the orthodox-types out in India that if one doesn't do every puja and every ritual just right and at the right time, something terrible is going to happen.

Actually worse, since there are semi-orthodox diaspora-desi (not Indonesian) Hindus who have such fears--which describes my late mum to a "t".

[^_^ 5,021]

Actually worse, since there are semi-orthodox diaspora-desi (not Indonesian) Hindus who have such fears--which describes my late mum to a "t".

I don't think anyone is going to think we're talking about Indonesians.

My family and I were in India last February for the specific purpose of doing a puja for my late father. It was something my extended family in India was very keen on doing and being his eldest son it was my job to do it. I am sure you know how that works. My initial response was to resist. I said I don't have time. Work is busy. Blah blah. But then my mom tells me she wants to do it. I was a little surprised but she seemed to really want it, seemed to really believe 'bad things' could happen if we didn't. Then my sister tells me we should do it too, for mom. So I did it. It was no big deal, spend a bunch of money and hire the right pandit and catering staff and stuff just gets taken care of. You know how it is. And yet, after it was done, my mom expresses a sense of relief that it all went smoothly and said she feels like a weight has been lifted. I honestly didn't understand and still don't. What could possibly have gone wrong? Doing a puja is really just a matter of handing out money to people. What could possibly go wrong? Yet, so many people acted as if it going so smoothly was some kind of message from God. I felt a little slighted, it went smoothly because I freakin' paid for it. Religious people can be so dumb.

[Saddle Bronc 124]

I don't think anyone is going to think we're talking about Indonesians.

My family and I were in India last February for the specific purpose of doing a puja for my late father. It was something my extended family in India was very keen on doing and being his eldest son it was my job to do it. I am sure you know how that works. My initial response was to resist. I said I don't have time. Work is busy. Blah blah. But then my mom tells me she wants to do it. I was a little surprised but she seemed to really want it, seemed to really believe 'bad things' could happen if we didn't. Then my sister tells me we should do it too, for mom. So I did it. It was no big deal, spend a bunch of money and hire the right pandit and catering staff and stuff just gets taken care of. You know how it is. And yet, after it was done, my mom expresses a sense of relief that it all went smoothly and said she feels like a weight has been lifted. I honestly didn't understand and still don't. What could possibly have gone wrong? Doing a puja is really just a matter of handing out money to people. What could possibly go wrong? Yet, so many people acted as if it going so smoothly was some kind of message from God. I felt a little slighted, it went smoothly because I freakin' paid for it. Religious people can be so dumb.

Doing full-blown puja mostly does involve handing out bills--which beggars the question of why you could not have just gone to Pittsburgh or DC (or some other locations in US) and done it according to their price-board.

There are some rituals however, that DON't involve so much of that (other than passing some to a store for groceries), such as boiling-of-milk when moving into a new home (really perplexing as to the necessity, since anyone who drinks coffee/tea/hot-cocoa can do this one trivially--perhaps I did it wrong, but if so I can hardly be expected to know the exact correct approach by instinct).

[^_^ 5,021]

Doing full-blown puja mostly does involve handing out bills--which beggars the question of why you could not have just gone to Pittsburgh or DC (or some other locations in US) and done it according to their price-board.

Because most of my dads family is back there and they wanted to be part of it. Yeah, work is busy and I missed out on valuable VJ and Facebook time but that's ok.

[^_^ 5,021]

...such as boiling-of-milk when moving into a new home (really perplexing as to the necessity, since anyone who drinks coffee/tea/hot-cocoa can do this one trivially--perhaps I did it wrong, but if so I can hardly be expected to know the exact correct approach by instinct).

Are you talking about Griha Pravesh? I had no idea there was a ritual involved there. I thought it was just inviting people over and feeding them.

The most retarded puja I've ever heard of is Car Puja.

Edited October 22, 2010 by \