While we Wait

[Speedytax 3]

Guys, I have been talking to my Fiance for almost 11 months everyday on Skype. We talk twice a day for a total of about 3 hours a day.We sumitted our 129f in June 2010 and have been waiting for our NOA2 letter.my question is, I am running out of things to talk about, We have talked so much. What do you guys do to keep up your spirits and talk about as the months roll by. I am a man, we cann't gossip the way women do. I have suggested that we only Skype once or twice a week, so things will happen in our lives and we will have something new to talk about. She got upset at that suggestion, saying I don't love her and don't want to see her everyday. But she expects me to come up with things to talk about and I don't know what to say anymore.It would be different if she was here, we could go places together, do things together, not just sit and stare at each other and talk, for 3 hours at a time. Does anyone else have this problem, or is she correct, I don't love her if I don't want to talk to her everyday for 3 hours at a shot. I would love to have her here and part of my life, but now she is just an image on my computer screen. She isn't interested in my daily life as an accountant/tax preparer. its pretty boring stuff. I've got to go, she is online now Bill

[alisha 0]

When you run out of things to talk about, let her comes up with something, you know how we women are we always got something to talk about, talking on a daily basic is good for the relationship, you dont always have to say 3 hours etc , it can be short you know just to ask how was each other day,and tell each other how much the love is there...

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

It happens.....but keep in mind that women connect verbally and through interaction. All you have right now are words..... verbal communication..... and I advice you to keep it alive somehow someway.

You can play checkers or another game together on yahoo....maybe you can check into other games and applications.

Taking frequent photos and sharing them also helps.

Share your daily activities and routine with her so she feels included in your life.

I understand what you mean though, we chat 4-7 hours a day and sometimes we just sit silently listening to music or read, cook or whatever....we just know we can see each other on cam the entire time and that keeps us close.

Be blessed !

[TimJay 0]

Guys, I have been talking to my Fiance for almost 11 months everyday on Skype. We talk twice a day for a total of about 3 hours a day.We sumitted our 129f in June 2010 and have been waiting for our NOA2 letter.my question is, I am running out of things to talk about, We have talked so much. What do you guys do to keep up your spirits and talk about as the months roll by. I am a man, we cann't gossip the way women do. I have suggested that we only Skype once or twice a week, so things will happen in our lives and we will have something new to talk about. She got upset at that suggestion, saying I don't love her and don't want to see her everyday. But she expects me to come up with things to talk about and I don't know what to say anymore.It would be different if she was here, we could go places together, do things together, not just sit and stare at each other and talk, for 3 hours at a time. Does anyone else have this problem, or is she correct, I don't love her if I don't want to talk to her everyday for 3 hours at a shot. I would love to have her here and part of my life, but now she is just an image on my computer screen. She isn't interested in my daily life as an accountant/tax preparer. its pretty boring stuff. I've got to go, she is online now Bill

We talk about every single thing that happens in our day using yahoo instant messenger on our cellphones. we both have a love of movies and often watch the same ones together and of course pictures, pictures, pictures. I know when I visited her in May I felt like I was right at home because I was so familiar with her home from all the pics and vids I had seen. I do understand how you feel. It's harder for some to park in front of cam and chat. I have just been laying in bed watching tv chatting with her tonight talking about TV while she's at the office working. lol We won't know what to do when we are in the same time zone. I personally don't like the idea of someone saying, "you don't love me". It's kind of manipulative in my opinion. Good luck, I'm sure it will work out. NOA2 will be here soon

[JE KA ES2K 0]

Guys, I have been talking to my Fiance for almost 11 months everyday on Skype. We talk twice a day for a total of about 3 hours a day.We sumitted our 129f in June 2010 and have been waiting for our NOA2 letter.my question is, I am running out of things to talk about, We have talked so much. What do you guys do to keep up your spirits and talk about as the months roll by. I am a man, we cann't gossip the way women do. I have suggested that we only Skype once or twice a week, so things will happen in our lives and we will have something new to talk about. She got upset at that suggestion, saying I don't love her and don't want to see her everyday. But she expects me to come up with things to talk about and I don't know what to say anymore.It would be different if she was here, we could go places together, do things together, not just sit and stare at each other and talk, for 3 hours at a time. Does anyone else have this problem, or is she correct, I don't love her if I don't want to talk to her everyday for 3 hours at a shot. I would love to have her here and part of my life, but now she is just an image on my computer screen. She isn't interested in my daily life as an accountant/tax preparer. its pretty boring stuff. I've got to go, she is online now Bill

Hehehe!!! Pardon me from laughing but the woman is right there brutha... Just talk about the same stuff over and over again... you've got to talk to her everyday... that shows you really love even if it gets tiring. It will only help you in the future. Make a list what you talked about for about 21 days... then go back to the beginning and talk about it again... Believe me, when she gets tired of the same thing over and over again, she'll take the initiative to do it once or twice a week. You already have the patience on waiting for your approval so this should be piece of cake.

Meeh, I never had problems talking to my wife and SKYPING everyday for an hour.... we both love it!

Patience is a virtue as King Solomon says!

[Speedytax 3]

Thanks a lot for all your responses. I know I should just be happy, because this time there is the internet and skype. When I did this before in 1994, the internet was still new and there wasn't skype. we were only able to talk on the telephone once a week and I was getting $800 a month phone bills. Skype is so much better. Tonight I have been helping her with her English lessons. She is getting pretty good at english, though sometimes she loses her concentration and I cann't understand her. But her English is a million times better than my Chinese. I have suggested she teach me Chinese while we are on Skype, but she is not a teacher and doesn't like to do that.

But we are still going strong, and we will hold out until the Visa comes through. I did pick up a couple of ideas here that were helpful, so thank you all. Bill

[rodceasar 34]

This is how it goes sometimes. My suggestion would be to communicate as much as possible even if you do not have much to talk about due to the distance. My wife and I talked every single day, throughout each day and almost all day on Skype video calls, Yahoo IM, email, Facebook, etc. ! Yes, it consumed my life and was difficult due to the distance (US > E. Africa w/ 7 hr time difference).

If you value your relationship, it is in your best interest to deal with it soince you have no idea how long the process will take you! Think of life on this side vs what your fiance's life is in her country and being without you physically present. I know well because I felt the same but always ensured to give all of my time to my wife even chatting online while I am at work and using Skype from my cell phone just to say I Love You...

[1piratefan 0]

Bill

I completely understand what you mean, my Chinese fiance and I talk for hours each time, giving her a rundown on how the day went is a good way to keep talking. mine is just lonely and the feeling she gets talking to me about anything makes her happy and that makes me happy for her. Heck tell her how much you miss her and love her, idle chat is good chat too.

Frank

[garfield529 47]

Two suggestions:

1. find online games that you can both connect through and play those together. She can create an account for you on Renren (www.renren.com) and there are a lot of games to play together.

2. while on skype you can "shop" together (www.taobao.com is great), find music together, ect.

These activities will show her you are focused on her but without constant talking. Also, consider once she is here...there is no "logging off" from skype. She will want communication with you and her family back home. You are relocating a girl from her culture...and just like transplanting a beautiful flower from the forest, if you don't take special care........ You will know what I am talking about once she is here, but if you truly care for her you will understand and find the solutions. Good luck~!

[LGC 2]

we see each other about 6 hours a day, my job give me a lot of free time.()

we do 2 hours english lessons(every morning & night)

we play QQ games about one hour

then we just talk about daily stuff, especially if she havent been to US, ton of stuff to teach her. sometime, we start a group chat with her friends or sometime mine. great way to bring her into your daily life. just like garfield529 sugguested shop togather.(birthday gift & holiday gift, i got a huge family so there are a lot of stuff to shop for)

[Speedytax 3]

we see each other about 6 hours a day, my job give me a lot of free time.()

we do 2 hours english lessons(every morning & night)

we play QQ games about one hour

then we just talk about daily stuff, especially if she havent been to US, ton of stuff to teach her. sometime, we start a group chat with her friends or sometime mine. great way to bring her into your daily life. just like garfield529 sugguested shop togather.(birthday gift & holiday gift, i got a huge family so there are a lot of stuff to shop for)

LGC, Thanks for both of your responses. We are close in both timeframe and country, so hopefully we both get NOA2 soon. Yes, my Fiance and I Skype everyday. She comes online at 7am and we talk until she goes to english school, from 8am to 11:30am then she comes bck online at noon her time (9pm my time) until about 2pm, when she goes back to english school until 4pm. She then goes to work at a restaurant until 10 pm, and we start it all over again the next day.So most of her day is preparing for coming to America.

But everyday I ask her, how her day was and she says "fine" and I try to help her with her homework, and she says she doesn't have any.I keep asking questions,for ideas of what to talk about.But after almost 11 months, we are running out of things to talk about.That was why I was asking you guys what you do, or what you talk about, so I can keep her interested.My life as a tax preparer is complicated, with goverment rules and privacy, so there isn't much I can tell her about what I do each day.She wouldn't understand, my parents don't understand.My parents always say, Don't talk so much about your business, nobody cares about that. But then people are always asking me about ways to cut their taxes. But I don't expect a girl from China to understand all those things. So I try to find what to talk about from her life, and to be honest, according to her, her life is boring. Bill

[dan_ling 6]

You can start prepping her for the interview so that when the time comes she will know it by heart and will not be as nervous. She should know about your family if any siblings where you work, dates such as when you met, time frame of your visits to China. When the time comes for her interview both of you will be pins and needles and by knowing this it will make it a little easier.

[LGC 2]

LGC, Thanks for both of your responses. We are close in both timeframe and country, so hopefully we both get NOA2 soon. Yes, my Fiance and I Skype everyday. She comes online at 7am and we talk until she goes to english school, from 8am to 11:30am then she comes bck online at noon her time (9pm my time) until about 2pm, when she goes back to english school until 4pm. She then goes to work at a restaurant until 10 pm, and we start it all over again the next day.So most of her day is preparing for coming to America.

But everyday I ask her, how her day was and she says "fine" and I try to help her with her homework, and she says she doesn't have any.I keep asking questions,for ideas of what to talk about.But after almost 11 months, we are running out of things to talk about.That was why I was asking you guys what you do, or what you talk about, so I can keep her interested.My life as a tax preparer is complicated, with goverment rules and privacy, so there isn't much I can tell her about what I do each day.She wouldn't understand, my parents don't understand.My parents always say, Don't talk so much about your business, nobody cares about that. But then people are always asking me about ways to cut their taxes. But I don't expect a girl from China to understand all those things. So I try to find what to talk about from her life, and to be honest, according to her, her life is boring. Bill

you are welcome. you and her can also start to watch american tv show, great way to improve her listening skill, also give your guys a common topic. at least for me, when we start talk about the TV show one thing lead to another, next thing you know it's 2-3 hours later. you can also encourage her to go out or travel with friends a bit more, there's a chinese saying:"Absence makes the heart grow fonder."

[Speedytax 3]

You can start prepping her for the interview so that when the time comes she will know it by heart and will not be as nervous. She should know about your family if any siblings where you work, dates such as when you met, time frame of your visits to China. When the time comes for her interview both of you will be pins and needles and by knowing this it will make it a little easier.

dan ling, yes we already do that everyday. I go to the embassy reviews and ask her all the questions asked by the embassies. We have been doing that daily for the last 2 months.Thanks. Bill