Moving my sick mother in with us.

[Ban Hammer 13,334]

Just saying, please have a huge savings account when you retire. It helps you and will help your kids when the time comes.

this is starting to sound like a nigerian scam.

[HannahP 119]

this is starting to sound like a nigerian scam.

Until you're the one taking care of your ill, elderly parents. And I'm only 24, so.

[Nik+Heather 121]

Hannah,

We have been going through a lot of health issues with my (USC) father lately as well. Of course I don't really have a long-view perspective as we are still in the middle of things, we are far enough in that I feel like I can share some insights...

Dad's not living with us, but as they are in the same city, the situation is that I spend 40(+) hours at work, then I try to spend ~4hours/day 5days/week (20+ hours) visiting with dad in the ICU. Add to this that lots of other things are going on at the parents (crazy aunt comes to visit to "help" ends up piling on the guilt, international guests come to visit, dad's friends mom never liked trying to get updates constantly, figuring out all the bills that dad had always paid.......etc, etc, etc) we have not really been spending that much time at (our) home. We have been spending just about half of our nights at the parents'. Nik doesn't complain, but I was surprised when I realized based on some tangential comments just last night (7 weeks in!) he's feeling dissatisfied.

It's not that I don't value Nik very highly, but I also highly value the rest of my immediate family as well, and I had been making choices based on who needed me the most and spending my time accordingly. I know it's a lot to juggle, but even if your husband isn't outright complaining and is supportive, be sure you don't fall into the same trap I did and make sure that you keep at least some time and activities for you two to have some time in just your marriage. Check in with him often and try to make decisions about how you're (both) spending your time together.