Relocation

[~*Dorothy*~ 2]

Good Sunday to all in the ME/NA forum...The weekend is coming to the end so fast and I have been doing some thinking in last few weeks...

Jamal has been in the states for almost 4 months...things are going well but I know that he is not happy in NY...I have no problem staying but as always have not problems of looking for a new place to relocate...my question is how one goes about it...Do you look for a job first? Do you save a decent amount of money and just go for it? How do you chose a place where you want to settle...I am so lost but I am open to any ideas, suggestions and comments...I have no problem starting from the beginning but need some direction as how to begin my search...thanks for reading and any information that you may provide me with...

Dorothy

[Bosco 1]

Dorothy,

I think first it depends on your reasons for relocating. If it is to make Jamal happier, what does he need around him to be happy? What do you need? Does he want a more Arab or Muslim community? City or suburbs? A place where you can rely on public transportation? I think first you need to evaluate what type of environment you want to live in. Think about the climate too.

Next, look at cost of living charts (they are available on the internet). This may automatically rule out certain locations and make others more appealing. Check for local unemployment statistics.

Take a few weekend trips, but keep in mind a vacation is not the same as a long-term move.

I tend to be practical, so the next thing I would do is try to find a job. I would not relocate without one. Other people are more free-spirited and believe things will fall into place.

I think lots of places look pretty but the reality of moving to many places with an Arab Muslim husband is not necessarily practical. Let's face it - racism is stronger in certain communities.

The cost of the move will depend on how far you go (cross country moves are far more costly), how much you are packing, how much of the move you can do yourself.

Keep in mind that while Jamal he would be happier living elsewhere, that may not really be the issue at all, so this has to be something you will be happy with if that ends up being the case.

Rebecca

[goldenheart 0]

I think lots of places look pretty but the reality of moving to many places with an Arab Muslim husband is not necessarily practical. Let's face it - racism is stronger in certain communities.

I HAVE TO AGREE 100%.

I always thought New York had a large Muslim community, however, I'm uncertain of the environment toward the Muslims after 9/11.

[sarah and hicham 3]

Dorothy come to California!

[~*Dorothy*~ 2]

Dorothy come to California!

You've hit the right spot...always dreamed and still dream of California...never had the courage to do anything about it...but you never know...

To everyone who responded thanks guys...but to tell you the truth the Muslim community is not a reason for Jamal's unhappiness...I don't think it is that important to him...I know that he would love to get to a place where he can be around "American" people...as I have mentioned before we live in a Hispanic neighborhood and he wants to be in a place where he would be forced to communicate only in English...another reason is that NY is so damn expensive...I work as a legal secretary in a small office and it seems that I can't break the wall and get out from it...Both of what we bring home is just not enough to save and I I know that it bother him a lot...I am hopeful that things will work out soon....

[dollface41601 0]

CHICAGO!!! Huge muslim community , great place for work, great place for growth........

[sarah and hicham 3]

Dorothy come to California!

You've hit the right spot...always dreamed and still dream of California...never had the courage to do anything about it...but you never know...

To everyone who responded thanks guys...but to tell you the truth the Muslim community is not a reason for Jamal's unhappiness...I don't think it is that important to him...I know that he would love to get to a place where he can be around "American" people...as I have mentioned before we live in a Hispanic neighborhood and he wants to be in a place where he would be forced to communicate only in English...another reason is that NY is so damn expensive...I work as a legal secretary in a small office and it seems that I can't break the wall and get out from it...Both of what we bring home is just not enough to save and I I know that it bother him a lot...I am hopeful that things will work out soon....

You know what today Hicham said he's happy that there is no Arab or Muslim community here so that he can live the "american" life he wants to. He even said he doesn't want to work with the Moroccans too much beause he would rather work with Americans and learn English and not get stuck in the Morocco of California. I understand completely what you are saying. There are a lot of Mexican immigrants here in California as most know... but it's not like living in a Hispanic neighorhood or anything. California is expensive but so is NY! Great weather all year long, the beach... what more could you ask for!? You can find a place that isn't as expensive as LA or Malibu or SF easily. Good luck I hope to see you out here in the future!

Sarah

[~*Dorothy*~ 2]

Well ladies...thanks for suggestion and support...I will start doing some research and will see how it goes...

Dorothy

[Mrs. Forgetful 2]

Well ladies...thanks for suggestion and support...I will start doing some research and will see how it goes...

Dorothy

I had one more suggestion... Why not Philadelphia. It's a large city with all different aspects. There's a good moroccan community and muslim community, but you can also live in an area where it's mostly americans. My husband and I live on the outskirts of Philly and still live close enough to the mosque. He works with Americans and our whole community is mostly American so it's good for him. It's also good to be around Moroccans too. I would never ask him to leave that part of his life behind becase I always see how happy he is when he talks to his friends. It's good here also because it's cheap for a large city, and you can find dencent jobs if you really look. Plus I think the whole historic aspect of Philly makes it so much better. Not to mention you can get to the beach in a little over a hour, or to the Poconos or D.C. in I think 2 hours. So it really depends if you are looking for a city or a suburb or a tiny town in the middle of nowhere. I wish you the best of luck.

P.S.- If you happen to be looking fo a tiny town in the middle of nowhere, I happen to know of a few in Kansas. I'd be sure to help you out!

[MrsAmera 41]

Ah Dorthy I think you've hit a good question. Youssef has been here for almost 8 months now and he HATED where we live at first, absolutely hated it. His drive was simply to get to NYC, until we visited his brother and he saw how expensive everything was. I am actually leaving Wed. AM for NYC for an interview and as the idea of moving gets a little closer I see him getting more apprehensive. As am I! If I get this job we will move to the city, where we will live etc. etc. will be another question. (BTW I'm going to the city alone and have no idea what to do! Maybe if you guys are done with work earlier on Wednesday we could meet up? My interview is Thursday from 5pm-10pm). I think finding a job in another city is really the best way to do things. At least then you have SOMETHING there when you move. It's hard to find a job in a lot of places (I've sent out like 100 resumes...argh). So nothing is guaranteed. I wish you guys luck!

P.s. I love Chicago too - winters are cold but it's really a lovely city. Minneapolis/St.Paul is very very nice too.

[ya falaha! 0]

Detroit/Dearborn, Michigan!

HUGE Arab/Muslim community..HUGE!!!!

Also..pretty inexpensive to live here compared to NY or Cali.

Edited August 21, 2006 by Mrs. Z

[Henia 11]

I too have had thoughts of moving.... seems like where I live the situation is getting worse and worse...economically speaking... Inchallah in this winter I will be see how things pan out here, but I too have thinking about moving to Cali or least out West...

Good Luck to you both...

Detroit/Dearborn, Michigan!

HUGE Arab/Muslim community..HUGE!!!!

Also..pretty inexpensive to live here compared to NY or Cali.

Mrs. Z is actually right...I live around there too....pretty nice... Good thing to raise family, several masjids,great places to eat out, etc etc...

But MI economy is pretty much going down...BUT I guess that REALLy depends on what line of work you are both in ... And well let's face it in an Arabic and/or Muslim community your husband will more likely get himself a position....

Anyway Good Luck (again) with your decision...Allah bless you both...