Divorce after 1 month in US....Long-sad-story

[marklovetina 52]

Dearest Johnny,

My deepest sympathy for what happened. I am sorry that a fellow filipina will do such thing and was a big disgrace to our country. Rest assured that there are only very few of her like and most filipina can still be trusted and loved. Im a constant reader of this site but very seldom comment but on your story i cant help myself. I was very angry that why on earth this kind of person exist. There are couples who struggled so much to be together and her given the opportunity wasted it all..it is only once we will find one true love. On the brighter side, you should be thankful that you see her true colors, at the earliest possible time you will never know your life will be more miserable with her. Don't sign her AOS! Let her do her way! Well as a legal person here you should have reported him to the Immmigration and she should be deported here and back to the cave she belong. Life is good and you will find someone who deserve your love...and think of the "law of Karma", she will pay for it soon...God bless..

very well said dainty!!! i agree with you...

well as dainty said... dont ever, ever try to help her on her AOS, let it be a lesson for her and her family... her aunt is really a monster too... like ur wife...

but i am very glad that u found someone that is beautiful and kindhearted woman in Peru, that will be a very big help, forget ur wife and and move on, she is not worthy to have u...

[Fandango 1,439]

And I thought I was the only one.

26 years is a HUGE gap. I mean 26 years??? If she was 30 and you 56 then it would make sense but 21? Im older than my husband so its not as if I have issues with May December Romances.

I would say heal also. The peruvian woman may be a catch but you may not be to her. You did break it off (after all) in order to pursue another younger woman. She must be quite a gal to forgive you for that one,

Well just so we're clear, I'm wasn't commenting on age difference or any other reasons...my comment was purely just a bit cautionary that the OP needs to take his time to heal and not get swept up in a new romance, which is usually where the 'i have this friend who's helping me through' scenario usually transitions to.....nothing more nothing less...

[Fandango 1,439]

Happy Bunny, shame on YOU for trying to apply YOUR standards to another person. First, YOU are a woman, attempting to give advice to a MAN. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Men and women are wired differently. Men are able to quit one relationship,and jump to another with amazing results. Women are not usually able to do this, so please don't give female advice to men.

Johnny is doing the right thing, so don't try to bring him down for trying to find peace, love and happiness in his life. There is NO time to waste. Everyday counts. Maybe ONE day, you will discover this as well. Peace.

There's nothing more than peace, love and happiness that I wish for Johnny...he's been through an awful awful situation and my heart goes out to him. Perhaps I am overly cautious...I don't agree that 'men are able to quit one and jump to another' at all...but that's by the by.

Can people be scammed by people in their backyard? Absolutely. But the ability is much greater when you're staring at a computer screen, or down a telephone line x000 miles away. People sometimes can see what they want to see ;and when someone is vulnerable, I don't think the best advice is to push him towards someone else. My comment was aimed more so at comments like 'sorry about your marriage, BUT this Miss Peru sounds like...' Those are two separate issues. Johnny, you do sound more rational than many that I've seen here on VJ through the years, and I applaud your moxy in dealing with this scammer swiftly.

Either way, Hopp....shame on YOU for applying your standards to me (see how that works?) see, we can do this all day long, but I'd rather not. My advice to Johnny still stands as my advice...agree, disagree, it's your choice and it doesn't matter either way. But I would honestly give this advice to my closest friend, so please don't make it out like I'm trying to bait here. And we can have a difference of opinion all day long, but my advice was born from sincerity and concern for the OP in such a vulnerable time. So I don't wish to get into some flame war here. Thanks.

Good luck Johnny.

edit for typos

Edited October 17, 2010 by Happy Bunny

[tmma 467]

There's nothing more than peace, love and happiness that I wish for Johnny...he's been through an awful awful situation and my heart goes out to him. Perhaps I am overly cautious...I don't agree that 'men are able to quit one and jump to another' at all...but that's by the by.

Can people be scammed by people in their backyard? Absolutely. But the ability is much greater when you're staring at a computer screen, or down a telephone line x000 miles away. People sometimes can see what they want to see ;and when someone is vulnerable, I don't think the best advice is to push him towards someone else. My comment was aimed more so at comments like 'sorry about your marriage, BUT this Miss Peru sounds like...' Those are two separate issues. Johnny, you do sound more rational than many that I've seen here on VJ through the years, and I applaud your moxy in dealing with this scammer swiftly.

Either way, Hopp....shame on YOU for applying your standards to me (see how that works?) see, we can do this all day long, but I'd rather not. My advice to Johnny still stands as my advice...agree, disagree, it's your choice and it doesn't matter either way. But I would honestly give this advice to my closest friend, so please don't make it out like I'm trying to bait here. And we can have a difference of opinion all day long, but my advice was born from sincerity and concern for the OP in such a vulnerable time. So I don't wish to get into some flame war here. Thanks.

Good luck Johnny.

edit for typos

LOL! I think it's hilariously ironic that someone called 'Happy Bunny' is having a disagreement with someone called 'Hop'

[Ken y Leidys 20]

Rest assured that there are only very few of her like and most filipina can still be trusted and loved.

When in Colombia, I unfortunately met a real needy woman who would not pull her profile down from the website where we met, and after she broke up with me, I met someone else - cancelling the K-1 I had with the first woman. When Colombiana 1 found out about Colombiana 2 (now, my wife), there were threats and other B.S., but it was clear that I too had been used just like Johnny had been.

While dating my wife before submitting our K-1, I met a Canadian named Benoit who had been pursuing a beautiful Colombiana named Monica. After 4 trips to Barranquilla, Benoit could not get Monica to agree to move to Canada. But, he had been sending her several hundred dollars per month in an attempt to win her over.

My advice is to do like the Peruana says, and just take it slow. No rush. Good luck with everything.

[Ban Hammer 13,334]

Happy Bunny, shame on YOU for trying to apply YOUR standards to another person. First, YOU are a woman, attempting to give advice to a MAN. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Men and women are wired differently. Men are able to quit one relationship,and jump to another with amazing results. Women are not usually able to do this, so please don't give female advice to men.

Johnny is doing the right thing, so don't try to bring him down for trying to find peace, love and happiness in his life. There is NO time to waste. Everyday counts. Maybe ONE day, you will discover this as well. Peace.

i'm not too sure about that in bold. and the latter sentence i've seen instances that disprove your statement too.

while i wish johnny the best of luck, i tend to agree with lisa to take his time. and from the way he posts, that will be the case.

[Myopia 93]

Well just so we're clear, I'm wasn't commenting on age difference or any other reasons...my comment was purely just a bit cautionary that the OP needs to take his time to heal and not get swept up in a new romance, which is usually where the 'i have this friend who's helping me through' scenario usually transitions to.....nothing more nothing less...

I was clear, Unsure about anyone else as I didnt read anything else yet! I was concurring with the healing part. The age difference comment on my part was a reaction to the ex wife watching Hannah Montana. Age is not about years.It about maturity.

[Ken y Leidys 20]

Ok folks..just so we're clear. At this time, Miss Peru is just a friend (and there's no US flag on the pick list and I really didn't want to keep the Philippine flag flying). I have NO visions on marriage or visas or any of that mess for a while. IF (big IF) Miss Peru decides to rekindle the torch...it will take ...ohh I guess years for her to have faith and trust in me again...because I did break it off and go after someone else. I messed up BIG time and I cry thinking of how bad I messed up with this wonderful girl. But she has been a great friend and helped me get through some difficult moments the past few months. I decided to go visit her because I needed to get away and stop thinking about what happened and I like being in Peru. It's a great place (6-hr plane ride from here) and I think it's good for me to get out,,,and really... it has been 4 months since I've seen anyone and all this time my ex-wife has been living the dream and that dream has been with another guy. And the worst thing is every cousin and friend on the planet has been trying to fix me up and I just really don't want to do that right now. And I'm sorry but I don't feel like Tarzan swinging through the trees however, I wish I looked like him

Johnny,

I think it would be prudent to get to know "Miss Peru" really well. She might or might not be the one for you. The woman I am married to told me the exact, same thing. I didn't let it bother me, because we were just friends at first, and (initially) I was a divorced, single man. This lasted 7 months until her and I got together. Maybe, if you make the woman in Peru wait while you assess things from your place in the US, she will both respect your decision-making and you as an individual. Don't appear to make quick, rash decisions, because she might not trust your method of thinking. Create a "short-list" of Chicas that might fit your requirements. My amiga in Colombia named Maria told me to do this, and to meet as many Chicas as I could before I made any definitive decisions. The main thing is that you need to concern yourself about how these women will benefit you and make you happy, not the other way around.

[SuperDuper! 230]

Edited October 18, 2010 by Hopp

[Raj_Kaj 0]

LOL! I think it's hilariously ironic that someone called 'Happy Bunny' is having a disagreement with someone called 'Hop'

LOL at the observation tmma!

Johnny,

I've been in your shoes too, I know how hard it is and you def. did the right thing. I went to USCIS with my information and they were as useful as they were during the immigration stage. Wish I had gone to ICE... not sure if it's too late or not. Either way, you are a great example to all of us who have been/are/will be in a similar situation. Thanks for posting! I wish you the best!

[KansasJayhawk 1]

Johnny,

It's good your told ICE of all of this BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why didn't you go pull your support with USCIS immediately??????? You should also go into USCIS as soon as you can and give load them up with documents to disprove the future filing from her of a waiver from "good faith marriage" and "VAWA" which you know is BS and coming down the pipe even though it is all fictional.

I also hope in your public divorce document you state these same things and provide it to USCIS as well.

My advise, go into USCIS and make sure you have withdrawn yourself from the visa process with the scammer. I had to sign a statement in front of them that I was withdrawing myself from the whole mess and wished to never be contacted again regarding this person and that my statement was my sworn statement that would and could be used in a court of law(even had to raise my hand to swear in prior to signing).

Raj, ICE probably got your fiance/wife's info via USCIS since ICE offices are usually also in every USCIS office. They do not actively go after immigrant fraudsters...lifetime ban though after she shows up on the grid again...or stay off the grid and live like a roach.

Edited October 29, 2010 by KansasJayhawk

[~Johnny~ 27]

Johnny,

It's good your told ICE of all of this BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why didn't you go pull your support with USCIS immediately??????? You should also go into USCIS as soon as you can and give load them up with documents to disprove the future filing from her of a waiver from "good faith marriage" and "VAWA" which you know is BS and coming down the pipe even though it is all fictional.

I also hope in your public divorce document you state these same things and provide it to USCIS as well.

My advise, go into USCIS and make sure you have withdrawn yourself from the visa process with the scammer. I had to sign a statement in front of them that I was withdrawing myself from the whole mess and wished to never be contacted again regarding this person and that my statement was my sworn statement that would and could be used in a court of law(even had to raise my hand to swear in prior to signing).

Raj, ICE probably got your fiance/wife's info via USCIS since ICE offices are usually also in every USCIS office. They do not actively go after immigrant fraudsters...lifetime ban though after she shows up on the grid again...or stay off the grid and live like a roach.

You know I been thinking about doing an Infopass appointment with USCIS just for the heck of it. The ICE Agent I'm working with has been telling me that she already contacted USCIS and she is the manager of the "A" (or Alien) file now and that I don't have to do anything else. But I have lots of evidence I'd like to see planted into her file just in case she tries something desperate. Honestly, from what I know since after I first posted this, I was worried about VAWA. But I've since learned a few things about her and homeless/jobless boyfriend and I don't think they're gonna do much other than hide out from immigration and continue drinking, bar hopping, and whatever... and then as you said "live like roach" under the scene. I really don't care what happens to her at this point but I want to make sure I'm done with her permanently so I can close that book and move on with my life. Karma will get her back. I can't live a comfy life if I'm worried about what's happening to her. So...best is to just forget it and move on. Eventually, she'll get caught and get sent back.

[TBoneTX 45,273]

The ICE Agent I'm working with has been telling me that she already contacted USCIS and she is the manager of the "A" (or Alien) file now and that I don't have to do anything else. But I have lots of evidence I'd like to see planted into her file just in case she tries something desperate.

Since the ICE agent has been so responsive and helpful, and says that she's on top on things, ask her what to do in regard to the additional evidence before you begin operating independently. That would seem to be courteous at minimum, and it could also avoid "too many cooks spoiling the broth." If she's in charge, she shouldn't have to spend her time explaining the entire situation to some InfoPass agent whom you've newly clued in.

At the same time that you ask what to do about your evidence, you can relate what you've heard about the "living like roaches" plan.

Continuous best wishes, si man.

Edited October 29, 2010 by TBoneTX

[makidesuu 0]

I think a person who came to the U.S with K-1 visa can only adjust her status with her original husband.

Therefore, the guy who called you and asked to get divorce with her won't be able to adjust her status.

She has to go back to philipin to clear her status before come back here to marry to new boyfriend; however, it would be a little hard for her since she has already applied for K-1 before.

Her AOS will be canceled soon since there is no pettioner.. She will be asked to leave the U.S within 3 month or so voluntarily. I think her record will remain clear since her AOS was never processed.

[~Johnny~ 27]

I think a person who came to the U.S with K-1 visa can only adjust her status with her original husband.

Therefore, the guy who called you and asked to get divorce with her won't be able to adjust her status.

She has to go back to philipin to clear her status before come back here to marry to new boyfriend; however, it would be a little hard for her since she has already applied for K-1 before.

Her AOS will be canceled soon since there is no pettioner.. She will be asked to leave the U.S within 3 month or so voluntarily. I think her record will remain clear since her AOS was never processed.

You are correct. According to the ICE Agent, she can not remarry and remain in the US and adjust status from the K1 Visa. It's only for marriage and adjustment to original petitioner. IF she remarries then she'll have to return to her country and attempt to re-petition under a different Visa. Also regarding this and contacting ICE vs USCIS. Actually, I contacted USICS first and they were quite useless. They sent me an email that said all I can do is not adjust her status and move on. They didn't even tell me to contact ICE. But in the few years I've been on VJ, it's always the first thing everyone recommends is to contact ICE. I contacted ICE and they forwarded me to an ICE fraud detection unit closest to where my ex was supposedly residing. I began a working relationship with a particular ICE fraud detection agent who was very nice and gave me some excellent advice, and seemed sincerely concerned about my situation. She was also very clear that more than likely my ex wife will slip into the system for a while but eventually will be caught and deported. She said this happens 95% of the time. And she also told me that since I reported a fraudulent activity and have proof of that reporting to her (emails and such), I can claim my losses on my 2009 tax filing as theft by fraud. She's been extremely helpful. USCIS kicked me to the curb and said just forget about it and move on.

Also, USCIS DOES NOT have a withdrawal from the "Visa" process AFTER the Visa has been issued. I can show you the email that USCIS sent me back regarding my request to withdraw from the Visa process. They stated that the K1 Visa has been approved and used for entry into the US and therefore can not be withdrawn. The only option I have according to them was to not sponsor her AOS and thereby preventing her from changing her status. Which of course I won't do. USCIS sends all cases to ICE for processing. Like I said, if USCIS would have even taken my papers they would have sent them directly to the ICE Agent in charge of my ex wife's Alien File (A-file). Currently my ex-wife's A-file is loaded with all information to date. If I hadn't contacted ICE, my ex wife file would have NO data whatsover about her fraudulent actions and it would be easier for her to make up abuse stories without any rebuttal from me. According to the ICE agent, Now if my ex screems VAWA, the first thing the adjudicator will ask for is the A-file, which the agent I'm working has at her desk, and she says the A-file has more than ample evidence to indicate fraud. In other words, she would have a very hard time justifying that she isn't just using VAWA as a depsparate last resort.

For me, it's difficult that this happened and I'm slowly moving on. But I'm thankful for the expertise on VJ. I know most folks don't follow the recommendations when they get into my situation (that's why I posted my story), it's extremely difficult to turn you're loved one into ICE, but you MUST consider that you can loose everything you own and worked hard for all your life for someone that only sees you as a free ticket to the US and a walking ATM. Listening to everyone saying "contact ICE" was the smartest thing I could recommend to anyone else stuck in this same mess. The number and email are at the bottom of almost every screen in VJ for a reason.