Visa approved, can I cancel it?

[gbagbo 0]

So I looked around the forums and saw different advice. Some say that you should contact the USCIS, others the embassy. Anyone had to do this and knows which way to go?

My ex fiancée was supposed to fly out to the states a week from today. She has the visa in hand. She told me that she is not ready for marriage and that I am not the right kind of man for her.

I would like to somehow get her visa canceled so she doesn't use it. All the time, emotions, and money put into this whole process.....I don't want her to use the visa for other purposes, I would feel used. She can just get a tourist visa if she wants to come to the states, I don't want her to use our K1 visa for anything else than getting married to me.

Any advice?

[Kang Lang 7]

i'm sorry gbagbo, i know you two have faced some challenges over your journey. a couple of things and of course the more knowledgeable can perhaps give more advice.

you can send a certified letter to the uscis to inform that you are no longer pursuing the relationship.

fortunately for you that even if she decides to activate and use the k-1 visa she cannot legally adjust status on THAT visa as it has your name attached to it (in fact my now husband's visa had my name actually listed on it). she cannot marry another and successfully adjust. if she uses it she cannot stay here legally and you are not "responsible" for her financially or morally. if she does arrive you can also notify ICE>

best of luck to you.

[RICARDO4EVA2 194]

So I looked around the forums and saw different advice. Some say that you should contact the USCIS, others the embassy. Anyone had to do this and knows which way to go?

My ex fiancée was supposed to fly out to the states a week from today. She has the visa in hand. She told me that she is not ready for marriage and that I am not the right kind of man for her.

I would like to somehow get her visa canceled so she doesn't use it. All the time, emotions, and money put into this whole process.....I don't want her to use the visa for other purposes, I would feel used. She can just get a tourist visa if she wants to come to the states, I don't want her to use our K1 visa for anything else than getting married to me.

Any advice?

So sad... Even if she comes to the usa.. she will become out of status quickly .. long as you dont Marry her..!!! I understand you dont want her to even use it .. I agree... if she feels you're not the one for her... whew... stop her in her tracks.. call uscis and guesss they can get her info in the system so when she arrives at the airport she'll have a problem...

Tell her not to use it and that you will notify the respective offices. Let them know she isnt ready for marriage.. and so it would seem she's tryin to use the "K" visa to explore her options.. it's not a tourist Visa.. I'd show up on the Same Flight withher and put her down the secondary screening and then let the officers know... you wont marry her and she has no intention to.. what would happen... I dont know

[carolynhotstuff 252]

I am so sorry that your relationship didn't work out. May God bless you.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

You can't do anything specifically about the visa. You didn't apply for it - she did. What you can do is withdraw the petition by sending a letter to the service center that approved the petition. The visa becomes invalid if the underlying petition is withdrawn. If all goes well, the visa will be flagged as invalid and she'll be denied entry if she tries to use it. However, given USCIS horrible record for keeping track of something as simple as a change of address, I wouldn't count on news of the withdrawn petition ever actually getting to CBP.

Hopefully, she does a little research and understands the consequences of entering the US with a K1 visa and not subsequently marrying the petitioner. She'll be out of status in 90 days, and she won't be able to adjust status and get a green card by any other route than marrying you, the petitioner. Unless she likes the idea of living like an illegal alien, she'll hopefully understand that this would be an abjectly stupid thing to do.

[TBoneTX 45,580]

What you can do is withdraw the petition by sending a letter to the service center that approved the petition. The visa becomes invalid if the underlying petition is withdrawn. If all goes well, the visa will be flagged as invalid and she'll be denied entry if she tries to use it. However, given USCIS horrible record for keeping track of something as simple as a change of address, I wouldn't count on news of the withdrawn petition ever actually getting to CBP.

Do what Jim recommends (return receipt requested), and set an Infopass appointment, to which you bring a copy of your withdrawal letter and (ideally) the return receipt from the USCIS center. This may or may not be feasible, but it's worth a try to get it on record by speaking with a human being in person.

Sympathies on the end of this journey, but hold your head high and look forward, si man.

Edited October 12, 2010 by TBoneTX

[RICARDO4EVA2 194]

to the OP..... Keep us posted please.

[gbagbo 0]

A little update, I emailed the embassy in Bangkok and here is what they said:

Please notify the visa beneficiary to come to the Embassy with her passport with the K-1 visa and the K-1 packet in the big brown envelope given to her on the day she picked up the visa here. She can contact us on any business Monday and Wednesday in the afternoon between 13.00 and 15.00 except Thai and American holidays.) We will cancel the printed visa in the passport. For you, please send us a cancellation letter with your original signature along with a photocopy of your passport photo page to the IV Unit by mail.

This is our mailing address.

U.S. Embassy

Consular Section

Immigrant Visa Unit

95 Wireless Road

Bangkok

10330

Thailand

After having received the cancellation from you through the mail, the case will be transferred back to USCIS for official revocation.

I plan to also contact USCIS to see what they have to say. I really don't think she will fly or drive to BKK from Chiang Mai to get her visa page print canceled.....that kind of made me laugh. Anyway....

[TBoneTX 45,580]

It sounds as though the Embassy has encountered this situation many times before, and they've given you clear instructions on how to proceed. Do your part, and the ex-fiancee's part will probably be taken care of without need for her action.

Again, all the best, si man.

[Mountain Climber 186]

I am very sorry to hear about what has happened. In my opinion this is not a good woman. She had plenty of time to decide that she wanted to marry you before getting her visa. To wait until she got it and then tell you she will not marry you is very cruel and heartless. I hope you do whatever is necessary to invalidate her visa. At least you found out what kind of woman she was before you married her. Good luck in the future.

Edited October 12, 2010 by Mountain Climber

[daboyz 36]

It sounds as though the Embassy has encountered this situation many times before, and they've given you clear instructions on how to proceed. Do your part, and the ex-fiancee's part will probably be taken care of without need for her action.

Again, all the best, si man.

I've seen this a few times here on VJ alone with Thailand. I can't speak to this specific case but I have seen others.

Goes something like this:

Thai girl strings along foreigner all the way to the interview. During this time foreginer is sending money for made up emergencies etc. I've seen some petitioners go as far as to buy them a car etc. Thai girl goes all the way to the interview gets the visa. Tries to string along foreigner to get more $ by delaying the move to the U.S. Eventually foreigner figures that the Thai lady never had any intention of coming to the U.S. Thai lady probably has Thai boyfriend the entire time.

I knew girls similar to this when I lived there. They would send emails to five different guys in five different countries with the same sob story asking for money from all of them. All the while having a lazy Thai boyfriend that promptly takes this money and gambles and drinks it away. They look all sweet and innocent, but some of them can be real pros when it comes to extracting money from foreigners.

I'm not trying to paint Thai women with a broad brush, but I have seen this happen too many times for it to be a coincidence.

[gbagbo 0]

Definitely not the case here with Five and I, but yes, I know it happens. I believe in our situation it's just a question of immaturity and being scared to leave her parents. Also not feeling compatible in the end. There are a lot of people losing face right now on her side. Her parents are having a hard time with it all. Our two families met a few months ago. Had a trip with my mom and sister. Lots of sad people on both sides.

I've seen this a few times here on VJ alone with Thailand. I can't speak to this specific case but I have seen others.

Goes something like this:

Thai girl strings along foreigner all the way to the interview. During this time foreginer is sending money for made up emergencies etc. I've seen some petitioners go as far as to buy them a car etc. Thai girl goes all the way to the interview gets the visa. Tries to string along foreigner to get more $ by delaying the move to the U.S. Eventually foreigner figures that the Thai lady never had any intention of coming to the U.S. Thai lady probably has Thai boyfriend the entire time.

I knew girls similar to this when I lived there. They would send emails to five different guys in five different countries with the same sob story asking for money from all of them. All the while having a lazy Thai boyfriend that promptly takes this money and gambles and drinks it away. They look all sweet and innocent, but some of them can be real pros when it comes to extracting money from foreigners.

I'm not trying to paint Thai women with a broad brush, but I have seen this happen too many times for it to be a coincidence.

[Daryl&Jeep 0]

I am very sorry to hear about you and your fiance, my Fiance lives in Khon Kaen and reads a forum for Thai lady's and your not alone by any means. She reads many stories and also talks to some of ladies that are members of that forum,and many change their minds some during the process and after the Visa is issued. It really is a shame as so much time and effort goes into this for someone we love to have them back out after the commitment is made but I also know Thai's pretty well, and if it's not their time or money it's all Mai Pen Rai. Best Wishes to you in your future and keep your chin up life is a Journey.

[thongd4me 69]

I've seen this a few times here on VJ alone with Thailand. I can't speak to this specific case but I have seen others.

Goes something like this:

Thai girl strings along foreigner all the way to the interview. During this time foreginer is sending money for made up emergencies etc. I've seen some petitioners go as far as to buy them a car etc. Thai girl goes all the way to the interview gets the visa. Tries to string along foreigner to get more $ by delaying the move to the U.S. Eventually foreigner figures that the Thai lady never had any intention of coming to the U.S. Thai lady probably has Thai boyfriend the entire time.

I knew girls similar to this when I lived there. They would send emails to five different guys in five different countries with the same sob story asking for money from all of them. All the while having a lazy Thai boyfriend that promptly takes this money and gambles and drinks it away. They look all sweet and innocent, but some of them can be real pros when it comes to extracting money from foreigners.

I'm not trying to paint Thai women with a broad brush, but I have seen this happen too many times for it to be a coincidence.

Thailand is not unique in giving USC's first-hand experience in immigration scams.

There are many other scams going on in other countries.

This having been said, it makes sense to let the bigger head take the lead from time to time

and give the smaller head a rest when taking stock of a romantic situation. Thoroughout our

7-year relationship before my wife got her visa, there were times when I voluntarily sent her money

and also times when she needed a little to make a payment for this or that reason. I was well apprised

of her financial situation and she admitted both the debts and ongoing obligations.

Her son went to the best university in Thailand and before that was in one of the top Catholic private

high schools. I knew these things were true because I went to Thailand and verified them by getting

to know her son and seeing his school transcripts. From time to time I was caught in a bind even

though I have a good monthly income. She volunteered to send ME money but I always declined.

I will be paying for my ex wife & kids for a few more years.

If there is a different "emergency" every month that the foreign fiancée presents the USC citizen with,

there must be verification and that's what due diligence is about. It's a cultural thing that your wife

may expect you to support her parents who live in rural poverty. My wife knows where to draw the line

regarding any such requests from relatives and it happens that her parents are deceased,

so she doesn't feel any obligation to any relative for anything, except to her son who now has an

excellent job with an international food company. She is planning to send him a portion of her salary

so he can put a down-payment on a car because he is using his father's car that has seen better days.

She knows I can't afford to pay for a car for him and has never asked me to. I do what I can to help.

I'm sorry to hear what the OP went through but next time he should at least keep his eyes open.

Edited October 20, 2010 by thongd4me

[gbagbo 0]

Thailand is not unique in giving USC's first-hand experience in immigration scams.

There are many other scams going on in other countries.

This having been said, it makes sense to let the bigger head take the lead from time to time

and give the smaller head a rest when taking stock of a romantic situation. Thoroughout our

7-year relationship before my wife got her visa, there were times when I voluntarily sent her money

and also times when she needed a little to make a payment for this or that reason. I was well apprised

of her financial situation and she admitted both the debts and ongoing obligations.

Her son went to the best university in Thailand and before that was in one of the top Catholic private

high schools. I knew these things were true because I went to Thailand and verified them by getting

to know her son and seeing his school transcripts. From time to time I was caught in a bind even

though I have a good monthly income. She volunteered to send ME money but I always declined.

I will be paying for my ex wife & kids for a few more years.

If there is a different "emergency" every month that the foreign fiancée presents the USC citizen with,

there must be verification and that's what due diligence is about. It's a cultural thing that your wife

may expect you to support her parents who live in rural poverty. My wife knows where to draw the line

regarding any such requests from relatives and it happens that her parents are deceased,

so she doesn't feel any obligation to any relative for anything, except to her son who now has an

excellent job with an international food company. She is planning to send him a portion of her salary

so he can put a down-payment on a car because he is using his father's car that has seen better days.

She knows I can't afford to pay for a car for him and has never asked me to. I do what I can to help.

I'm sorry to hear what the OP went through but next time he should at least keep his eyes open.

I did keep my eyes open, this is not what happened to me at all.