Ukraine K-1 initial denial - next steps to fix

[Brad and Vika 129]

Maybe language isn't a deal breaker - but inability to communicate causes all sorts of trouble imo. First and foremost would be the initial understanding needed to agree you are right for each other. I agree that there are people who work around that. I also agree that age differences are not really an issue (just depends on the people). Thirty seven years seems big to me, but our seventeen years seems huge to some. Whatever works.

[slim 1,525]

I remember a guy at my old job asking me, "do you have problems communicating with your wife because she's Russian?"

I replied, "No. I have problems communicating with her because she's a woman."

Language isn't necessarily a deal breaker, but I'd think a woman serious about coming here and making a new life together would also be pretty serious about picking up some English PDQ. I'm not saying they should be able to write essays, but contact should be sans translator or else that red flag oughta be at full staff.

[LvivLovers 39]

I remember a guy at my old job asking me, "do you have problems communicating with your wife because she's Russian?"

I replied, "No. I have problems communicating with her because she's a woman."

Nice one. So very true.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Maybe language isn't a deal breaker - but inability to communicate causes all sorts of trouble imo. First and foremost would be the initial understanding needed to agree you are right for each other. I agree that there are people who work around that. I also agree that age differences are not really an issue (just depends on the people). Thirty seven years seems big to me, but our seventeen years seems huge to some. Whatever works.

Still happens sometimes.

I told Alla about a thing at work, no big deal really , just a meeting with my boss in which I got to deliver information he really didn't like, but hey, he can handle the truth. So Alla asks "what did he say?" I said "nothing, he just LEFT" So tonight we talked about something else and she says "Well, what do you expect from an owner that just LAUGHS" What? "you said he just LAUGHED" What? "Voooooowhat do you mean Vooowhat? You told me that he laughed when you told him those other things!" Told you WHAT? "That TIM LAUGHED!" The light comes on finally....Aloechka, I said LEFT, not LAUGHED! "oh, never mind"

[Brad and Vika 129]

Still happens sometimes.

I told Alla about a thing at work, no big deal really , just a meeting with my boss in which I got to deliver information he really didn't like, but hey, he can handle the truth. So Alla asks "what did he say?" I said "nothing, he just LEFT" So tonight we talked about something else and she says "Well, what do you expect from an owner that just LAUGHS" What? "you said he just LAUGHED" What? "Voooooowhat do you mean Vooowhat? You told me that he laughed when you told him those other things!" Told you WHAT? "That TIM LAUGHED!" The light comes on finally....Aloechka, I said LEFT, not LAUGHED! "oh, never mind"

I get that all the time. Actually it effects us both. When Vika says "did you lock door from garage?", and I turn around on the highway and go home to demonstrate that the alarm will not go off if you open the garage door, to find that she meant the door FROM the garage to the house.... well we laugh about that stuff later.

[thelastpetitioner 218]

Maybe language isn't a deal breaker - but inability to communicate causes all sorts of trouble imo. First and foremost would be the initial understanding needed to agree you are right for each other. I agree that there are people who work around that. I also agree that age differences are not really an issue (just depends on the people). Thirty seven years seems big to me, but our seventeen years seems huge to some. Whatever works.

consider me cold,but if i were a CO i would never approve couples that dont have at least a second language in common.i dont get how people could possibly work through not being able to discuss things such as finances or schedules or REALLY important relationship matters.i have seen couples who have really buckled down and tried their best and it has worked for them,but never the less,the chances of someone claiming to love you yet not understanding the importance of sharing a language being a scam is much higher than her being genuinely uninterested in the main language spoken in the country she or sometimes he is going to move to.

to each their own i suppose

[slim 1,525]

REALLY important relationship matters.

That's all subjective. What's important to you might not be important to me.

If language were what gets it done, why do over 60% of marriages in the US (where most marriages feature both folks speaking English) fail? That statistic alone proves that language has very little to do with the probability of success.

Now, I get where you're coming from that someone who can't speak a lick of English is more probably a scammer than someone who's taken the time and effort to at least learn a little. But, I can't say that language alone could be the basis for a denial. There are just too many other things at work in a relationship.

[Scott and Iryna 2]

...

But, I can't say that language alone could be the basis for a denial. There are just too many other things at work in a relationship.

Personally, I think not being able to understand a thing she is saying is a huge advantage...

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

consider me cold,but if i were a CO i would never approve couples that dont have at least a second language in common.i dont get how people could possibly work through not being able to discuss things such as finances or schedules or REALLY important relationship matters.i have seen couples who have really buckled down and tried their best and it has worked for them,but never the less,the chances of someone claiming to love you yet not understanding the importance of sharing a language being a scam is much higher than her being genuinely uninterested in the main language spoken in the country she or sometimes he is going to move to.

to each their own i suppose

Thanks. If I were a CO I would deny any __________________applicants. Fill in the blank. You aren;t a CO and WHO here has said they dod not have a language in common. Jeezum...drive bys

consider me cold,but if i were a CO i would never approve couples that dont have at least a second language in common.i dont get how people could possibly work through not being able to discuss things such as finances or schedules or REALLY important relationship matters.i have seen couples who have really buckled down and tried their best and it has worked for them,but never the less,the chances of someone claiming to love you yet not understanding the importance of sharing a language being a scam is much higher than her being genuinely uninterested in the main language spoken in the country she or sometimes he is going to move to.

to each their own i suppose

what if someone is deaf and mute? Sign language OK with you? Or is that not an adequate way to communicate? Braille mail?

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

consider me cold,but if i were a CO i would never approve couples that dont have at least a second language in common.i dont get how people could possibly work through not being able to discuss things such as finances or schedules or REALLY important relationship matters.i have seen couples who have really buckled down and tried their best and it has worked for them,but never the less,the chances of someone claiming to love you yet not understanding the importance of sharing a language being a scam is much higher than her being genuinely uninterested in the main language spoken in the country she or sometimes he is going to move to.

to each their own i suppose

are you just a racist or are you serious? So what if the relationship fails? How can you even think such a thing. You want some CO to now add the subjective judgement of if someone's realtionship will fail? What does that have to do with anything? The requirement is to demonstrate the the relationship is NOT FRAUDULENT for the purpose of avoiding the normal immigration procedures. That is all.

Personally I thin anyone from ____________ (fill in the blank) should be put on unconditional 10 year AP.

Like I need someone else judging my realtionship. Jeeezum

[thelastpetitioner 218]

are you just a racist or are you serious? So what if the relationship fails? How can you even think such a thing. You want some CO to now add the subjective judgement of if someone's realtionship will fail? What does that have to do with anything? The requirement is to demonstrate the the relationship is NOT FRAUDULENT for the purpose of avoiding the normal immigration procedures. That is all.

Personally I thin anyone from ____________ (fill in the blank) should be put on unconditional 10 year AP.

Like I need someone else judging my realtionship. Jeeezum

what common sense has got to do with racism?just tell me this,how could two people,say me and my fiance ( dont wanna offend anyone with my " racism ",prove our relationship,if i didnt speak any english and he didnt speak any farsi?

youre a VJ veteran,how many posts have you seen in general discussion regarding people being disappointed in their mate because " she/he doesnt wanna learn english,doesnt wanna get out there,stand on their own feet"?

if there is one thing i have learned from this whole process,its that no one cares about your emotions or feelings,towards your partner or your relationship,everything regarding K visas has to be done rationally and logically.

am i wrong or being racist again?

are CO officers who deny petitions based on their own take from the petition and beneficiary also racist?

Thanks. If I were a CO I would deny any __________________applicants. Fill in the blank. You aren;t a CO and WHO here has said they dod not have a language in common. Jeezum...drive bys

what if someone is deaf and mute? Sign language OK with you? Or is that not an adequate way to communicate? Braille mail?

gary,dont take it personally,the key is communication,common language is the most basic foundation for communication,no?

Edited November 10, 2010 by ygr

[thelastpetitioner 218]

That's all subjective. What's important to you might not be important to me.

If language were what gets it done, why do over 60% of marriages in the US (where most marriages feature both folks speaking English) fail? That statistic alone proves that language has very little to do with the probability of success.

Now, I get where you're coming from that someone who can't speak a lick of English is more probably a scammer than someone who's taken the time and effort to at least learn a little. But, I can't say that language alone could be the basis for a denial. There are just too many other things at work in a relationship.

that is a different story,i personally dont think couples who have been through this whole long distance thing and then to top it off are even comparable with your normal average all american couples.language is not the only reason for marriage/relationship failure,but it is a very important deal at least as far as i have personally seen in interviews that take part in middle east.plus,its not really about the interview,but rather than both parts evaluating each other and their goals and wishes and hopes,you know?

[visaveteran 1]

To know someone's character and nature, I think, ideally, we use our life experiences, gut feelings, developed instincts, body language and intuition to judge things, including people. What someone says, in whatever language, can be pure BS, so what do we gain by hearing them in "English?" Perhaps only a false comfort.

Ultimately, the key to success, IMO and speaking as an older man, is continuing great sex, good health, and enough money to live well. Almost everything else is secondary. My wife of three years spoke almost no English when we met but she learned enough to deal with me. It was nice not to "talk everything to death" but rely on other forms of connection..and to be OK with moments of silence. Silence with a woman! Think of that when your wife's yakking your head off!

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

what common sense has got to do with racism?just tell me this,how could two people,say me and my fiance ( dont wanna offend anyone with my " racism ",prove our relationship,if i didnt speak any english and he didnt speak any farsi?

youre a VJ veteran,how many posts have you seen in general discussion regarding people being disappointed in their mate because " she/he doesnt wanna learn english,doesnt wanna get out there,stand on their own feet"?

if there is one thing i have learned from this whole process,its that no one cares about your emotions or feelings,towards your partner or your relationship,everything regarding K visas has to be done rationally and logically.

am i wrong or being racist again?

are CO officers who deny petitions based on their own take from the petition and beneficiary also racist?

gary,dont take it personally,the key is communication,common language is the most basic foundation for communication,no?

Whether someone is dissapointed or not with the CHOICE of their mate has NOTHING WHATEVER to do with whether a visa should be issued or not. Period. Every American has a RIGHT to be completely disappointed with their choice of a spouse and the US government should have nothing to say about it. Nothing.

You do not and should not have to "prove your relationship" whatever that means. You should demonstrate that your relationship is not for the purpose of avoiding immigration laws. If the matter of language were an issue it would be a stated requirement at all consulates. It is not. It is generally not even asked about in Russia or Ukraine, for example. The reason it is asked about anywhere is because those countries are full of frauds or terrorists that would love to destroy our country. One could simply say it would be "common sense" to stop issuing visas to anyone from those countries at all. Ukraine and Russia are full of fraudulent women but they don't really want to come to the USA so they never show up at the consulates. I couldn't care less if you send all your money to someone defrauding you. A fool and his money are soon parted anyway...get it over with.

No one SHOULD care about your emotions. The process is a matter of determining that your spouse/fiancee is not...

1. A threat to the security of the United States

2. Trying to avoid normal immigration processes with the accelerated family visa proces

3. That the person will not become a public charge

That's it. "Common sense" not needed, not wanted. Stay the ** out of my business! You start to apply this BS and all sorts of people will line up to add their own "common sense" to the process. The government should not have any further judgement on my choice of spouse than they do if I marry the girl next door. Their concern should be the basic one of if they ALLOW her in the country. Once they determine she is allowed in the country...stay out of it. Age, religion, language etc have nothing to do with it.

I do not care if you can communicate with your wife. I do not care if your marriage is successful. I do not care if she is trying to take advantage of you or what her reasons or your reasons are. If you are marrying her because she is a HOT piece of @ss and gives you good sex whenever you want and she is marrying you because she wants to improve her living standard and have her own car and she is willing to ** your brains out to get it...then have at it and have a good life! Be happy! I couldn't possibly care less if you can have a conversation over dinner. No one should.

DO NOT open the door for subjective judgement of our relationships. You WILL NOT be happy with how others judge your relationship.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

To know someone's character and nature, I think, ideally, we use our life experiences, gut feelings, developed instincts, body language and intuition to judge things, including people. What someone says, in whatever language, can be pure BS, so what do we gain by hearing them in "English?" Perhaps only a false comfort.

Ultimately, the key to success, IMO and speaking as an older man, is continuing great sex, good health, and enough money to live well. Almost everything else is secondary. My wife of three years spoke almost no English when we met but she learned enough to deal with me. It was nice not to "talk everything to death" but rely on other forms of connection..and to be OK with moments of silence. Silence with a woman! Think of that when your wife's yakking your head off!

The KEY to success is both people receiving from the relationship what they WANT from the relationship. If YOU are getting what YOU want and she is getting what SHE wants...who am I to say it makes no sense?

If you WANT someone to talk to all the time, then by all means marry someone with the same native language. YOUR choice for YOU, not the government's and not MY choice for YOU.

Personally, I think not being able to understand a thing she is saying is a huge advantage...

If not an advantage, at least an excuse. "maybe she was flirtng when she said ** YOU!"